₦airaland Forum

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You go Faher! Hands in the air!, It feels good to come across guys like you who have tremendous respect for women and do not need to subdue them to have their ego stroked. Men like you are the mature ones with capital M. Up Faher!, Up Elrazur!! Everybody make some noise, !!!!!

Elrazur, I was wondering whether you came across this post of mine yesterday in another thread. It's very good to see a man thinking the way you do and to give you more support on this topic, I am posting that my comment again here, some of our men have it all wrong and are making living hell for their women because of this misunderstanding so here it is again. It's high time somebody mentioned that even at the expense of being stoned by some.

I beg to differ with this submissive thing not that I am challenging men. Relationships and marriage are all about two people respecting each other, when one of the party is disagreeing and is wrong at the same time, respect here means the other party arguing in love and trying to make the wrong partner over to the right path as gently and respectfully as possible to avoid heated arguments, nagging and unhappiness. A woman does not need to agree verbatim with a man when he is wrong in the name of submitting and making him feel like the head, she can still give her opinion respectfully. Should a woman close her eyes and watch her man lead their family astray because she has to submit? I believe that relationship and marriage is so much about loving and respecting each other to the point that there's no room for Mr. submission, if you love a woman you will not want to put her through stuffs that she hates but closes her eyes to in order to submit to you neither should she close her mouth when her man is doing dirty and risky deals.
    I'm not a feminist & neither am I saying this to spite men , I know how to compliment, respect and value the people around me and make them feel real appreciated.Our men are taking this submission thing to such levels that most men will go to a great length in search of a "yes woman" as a wife, it is very important to him that he can control her. What control? She is a human being like you, not a slave, not a servant. A mature human being does not need to control the people around him or his wife, just let her be as comfortable as you are in the relationship and you will have all her love. Will you rather your wife develops the fear of you and begin to detest you and not want you around, when you are nearing home her hearts beats faster. That is the unhappy condition many women in our country are living in. A person that desires to be submitted to,wants to be controlling and set out in search of a woman to control has some form of complex & lacks confidence. I know this will draw the ire of the unmatured ones here but yes somebody has to say this, if not now maybe in years to come because some of us have it all wrong. Us women already know that we need to make our men feel like the head of the family, submission is just not the word but respect is. Can't you see that that word is even making you naija men look like villains and bullies in the eyes of the world. Think hard about that! One love!

Please love him and respect him very much, find out good things he likes and make him happy doing them okay.
I beg to differ with this submissive thing not that I am challenging men. Relationships and marriage are all about two people respecting each other, when one of the party is disagreeing and is wrong at the same time, respect here means the other party arguing in love and trying to make the wrong partner over to the right path as gently and respectfully as possible to avoid heated arguments, nagging and unhappiness. A woman does not need to agree verbatim with a man when he is wrong in the name of submitting and making him feel like the head, she can still give her opinion respectfully. Should a woman close her eyes and watch her man lead their family astray because she has to submit? I believe that relationship and marriage is so much about loving and respecting each other to the point that there's no room for Mr. submission, if you love a woman you will not want to put her through stuffs that she hates but closes her eyes to in order to submit to you neither should she close her mouth when her man is doing dirty and risky deals.
    I'm not a feminist & neither am I saying this to spite men , I know how to compliment, respect and value the people around me and make them feel real appreciated.Our men are taking this submission thing to such levels that most men will go to a great length in search of a "yes woman" as a wife, it is very important to him that he can control her. What control? She is a human being like you, not a slave, not a servant. A mature human being does not need to control the people around him or his wife, just let her be as comfortable as you are in the relationship and you will have all her love. Will you rather your wife develops the fear of you and begin to detest you and not want you around, when you are nearing home her hearts beats faster. That is the unhappy condition many women in our country are living in. A person that desires to be submitted to,wants to be controlling and set out in search of a woman to control has some form of complex & lacks confidence. I know this will draw the ire of the unmatured ones here but yes somebody has to say this, if not now maybe in years to come because some of us have it all wrong. Us women already know that we need to make our men feel like the head of the family, submission is just not the word but respect is. Can't you see that that word is even making you naija men look like villains and bullies in the eyes of the world. Think hard about that!

Even if he copied the 80's beetle, he still deserves the credit for modernizing it. Check out how posh and cute it is, a beetle on a class of its own. This guy did some work and made something happen, I respect people that does not fold their hands, it takes some positive spirit for a human being to go to work and achieve that. It is people with such spirits that are renewing our world with innovations. More grease to his elbows,

Shots and OAM, I appreciate your opinions but one can still admonish , chide and joke in a reprimanding yet respectful way. It does not have to be as insultive and abusive as some people do here.
   We have to practice these things in the way we relate with others lest it becomes a habit for such people(if it isn't already) and they will get into the society breathing fire and brimstone on people. When we talk to the younger ones around us like that, they grow up(with low self esteem) accepting that and the children people with such attitude are rearing might even be more violent and unrefined and can even fight online(if technology permits that). Let's not be showing the world this gutter behaviour here please.

THE AMAKA, you did a good job of defending us against that US guy that was talking down on Nigerians, we should talk to the moderator of that forum to have his insensitive remarks about ugly Africans removed from that forum. How can a foreigner come in here and begin to abuse us all. He should not be allowed to pour mud on our dignity as a continent just because theirs is more developed and they have better quality of life. Life isn't easy for us all here and we don't need all that.

I registered in Nairaland last weekend (when our good old Yar adua passed away) to chat and relate with fellow Nigerians but was shocked at what happens here. I saw great people, nice gentlemen and ladies, intellectuals but this good people are outnumbered by a great number of able-bodied adults that insult and abuse people for voicing their opinion. I was shedding tears on seeing Yar adua's grave and was called all sorts of nasty names in a forum here just for that, I tried my best to pacify my abusers and really tried to reach out to them thinking that they may be hurting over the hardship in our country, the olive branches I extended to them was rewarded with more tongue lashing. I was further shocked to later learn that one of my accusers is not even a man but a fulfilled and exposed lady who resides in the US and who should be teaching decency to others.
     My visit to other sites revealed to me that a great percentage of abuse, insult and name calling is going on here. Is there a way we can lovingly refine such people, you can hardly see a forum in any part of the world with people exhibiting such gutter behaviour. Can we stop this please? Can we be decent to one another, most Nigerians living abroad come here out of homesickness to relate with their own only to have the brothers/sisters they are reaching out to tongue lash them. Can we show more love here, I saw a forum where a US guy was abusing us all Nigerians as ugly. How can we as a people stand up against such when we can't even appreciate and respect ourselves? One love!!

Girlfriend didn't I tell you that you need lots of wisdom with a Naija man. You don't have to propose to him but you have some feminine charms you can use until he starts eating out of your hand and you will have him in the lead. Men don't appreciate being chased, not Nigerian men. Before I continue make sure that you have seen him physically before letting all these love overtake you because you may meet him finally and realize that he is not all you want after all.
Use your brain girlfriend, use your brain. Hey, there are cute sites out there to suggest to him createspace,hubpages,,printfection, try building him up from a distant, be unpretentiously helpful, compliment his good sides and he will know you appreciate his person but never propose to him.

Hmmm what Pweety?

Bj and platinum i should leave here but I can't yet, I am baffled at the intensity of your anger. Come on chill down guys. You don't have to get worked up. You don't have to sound that vitriolic and acidic. I am wishing that I can reach out and comfort you and make you simmer down.( shhhhhhhhh I bet I am going to get swallowed right now)

Bj and platinum i should leave here but I can't yet, I am baffled at he intensity of your anger. Come on chill down guys. You don't have to get worked up. You don't have to sound that vitriolic and acidic. I am wishing that I can reach out and comfort you and make you simmer down.( shhhhhhhhh I bet I am going to get swallowed right now)

Tpia pay him no mind he is too nasty to reply, better the forum be left at this point. I'm a decent lady and I don't curse too. Goodnight guys and do please let go of the bitterness, I beg of you.

Goodnight platinum, save that energy of yours. If you employ it in constructive thinking, it can help you become a president tommorrow and have others talk about you for a change. We have talked about a person for too long, I don't do that, give me ideas that can bring peace to Nigeria and the world and we can examine it all night long. That is what I am searching for now. I feel the pain the hardship in our country is giving us all and I am sorry. If I have the opportunity to make at least some things right believe me, I will put a smile on that face of yours, now smile! Goodnight love!

It is okay to express oneself but if you don't want to lose a naija man swallow that your love declaration until he declares his because he will pick race when u do first. Don't you know that you need wisdom with a Naija man?

When did Nigerian men get this cold, unfeeling and hard? The tone is frightening really but I understand the pains underneath the tones, we all have been through sufferings. My brother I cried at he jos crisis too, it seared my heart endlessly but should we continue in hate and bitterness that peace may abound. Let us let go of hard feelings and begin to heal, we all need peace now.

[b]I see you are still mourning your beloved "Iya aladura" Yar'dua so am not gonn give u a death blow yet but i'll do my best to tear u apart! Somebody just told me u are Turai's half sister so i can feel your pain about Umoru's heartbreaking death. Stop crying! pray for god to bring him back or if u dnt wann miss your precious umoru, u can fly to katsina and dig up his grave, lay down beside him with his balls in your hand then ask Turai to cover u two with sand.
It's only in Nigerian one can find mAn as crude, heartless and unrefined like you two.
This statement is synonymous to the love of your life "Iya aladura" a.k.a,  go slow, yara dulla, may his turia tortured soul rest in fish for holdin a whole nation spellbound for 6months!! Hey sweety, u dnt want it with me or "platinumnm" (  ;Dwats up baby! no be so??  ). Better stay back in the kitchen preparing kunnu for your sista turai to cool her temper on d loss of her loveth snail husband. There are some godzilla on this thread now looking for blood to suck dry! A word is enought for the wise! Just tellin ya cos i dnt want u to die a premature death on NL!!! make i no talk to much because i knw say u dey in a state of mourning!!! Oloshi,           [/b]
Bj sweetie, I couldn't help laughing at few of your words even though your first paragraph was too nasty. Like somebody mentioned you are really hurting dear, and I feel your pains okay Baby. From the tone of this thread I now understand how much people are hurting over that unfunny behaviour of not been communicated to but believe me if yar adua was conscious I am sure he can be so irresponsible as to keep quiet on Nigerians that long. I didn't find it funny then too but now that he is dead I realized that he must have been in Coma all those while. Pls stop hurting okay guys.

It isn't really her fault because most of us were not taught from childhood to be financially independent and when we grow into adulthood and should strive to have something for ourselves we still see ourselves depending on families. Again our culture is such that we are closely knitted and always looking out for one another,ours is not a society where one at 14 or 15 is out in the cold with nobody to carter for you. In such societies such people can't help but strive and help themselves. Our closeneness is good but I think parents should start teaching their kids skills early enough not just sending them to school. The chinese do that and you will see a 7 year old kid being good at many things and before such a child is 20, he/she has a company.
Sit her down and in love teach her that it's high time she became a responsible adult, that she has children and needs to work hard too for their survival.

May God forgive you and may you not feel that searing pain of losing a loved one soon. Yes, may death be far away from you and your family and may yar adua find peace, comfort and lots of love in the arms of God. Bye

First I take back my word, I am a peacemaker by nature and the last thing I want to do here is throw words with people.You know what Odi, the only way we all can heal and grow together towards a brighter looking Nigeria is for all to forgive. I use to have this bitterness towards the muslims for killing christians but I have let go of all of that, I understand how you feel that made you talk like that but we should hate bad behaviours while still loving the perpetrators that is what makes a unique christian or even muslim.
   Right now I am very passionate about a peaceful world and a peaceful Nigeria and hating and name calling and anger are the things standing against that view of the world I wish to see. This man went thru pain and died,whatever he has done, he deserves your pity. The hearts of his family are at breaking points, give them your sympathy.
    I hate to talk much about people too and will stop here, let love reign in our hearts, when you give love to your enemies. You are overpowering them with goodness and they can't help but love you alright. Now stop getting mad at uncle Yar adua, okay Baby.

I am yet to come across men as crude, heartless and unrefined like you two. I am sure you have never lost a loved one, if you have you will understand how heartbreaking death can be but you don't and here you are swearing and cursing ladies. Didn't you get home training? Tommorrow you will pray for God's blessing when you are here laughing at the misfortune of others and death of all things too. I can't stand Nigerian men like you, why are most of you unsophisticated and ignorant? Why?

I'm really crying now after seeing these pictures of his grave.I really like this man. Please nobody should castigate him here

NIGERIANS I am just loving all of you whichever race or colour you are. You guys make me laugh and laugh, it's good to be here.

NNAA MEN THAT VP POST DEY HUNGRY ME SEF.


I'm still mournig that Yara nwa is gone. Rest in peace sweetheart!

Go ahead, give it to them Saga, I don't even know why some people allow themselves to be brainwashed by others in the name of religion. When I go to church the much I give is because of God and because his word said "bring your offering that there will be food in my house". I love to chill out in church but when a pastor start making that money silly thing, I just up and leave ONE TIME!

It's like every  forum I enter here, I laugh my head off and can't help but just love and love the people in it. Oga mikeansy and Oga ferrari why una wan fight now. The tension wey dey between una sef na only computer screen save this fight ooo because una for don fight am finish.
     Hey, seriously we should be decent to ourselves here while expressing our opinion after all you are talking about your fellow human being who have been lifted by God. Save that energy in thinking  about what high place to get yourself decently to for that is what i am thinking about now. Dem presidents, ministers etc are human beings like you so don't fight over mere talk about them. Get people to talk about your own greatness. I don't really like talking about people much but If Goodluck did not attend the burial, then he deemed it right not to for security reason, we all know that ignorance is in the hearts of many of us that have funny ideas about who rules Nigeria and that such can kill senselessly to make their point. So let's not hold that to Jonathan,  may be he went in disguise who knows but if he did not go for security reasons, that was wise. I am happy for him and his good luck but many people right now are not you know that, ferrari knows that and so do u mike. Now make peace you two okay .