₦airaland Forum

kandiikane:
There is a huge difference with marriage and having a male "friend" in your life-yes because marriage represents the union between God and his people and also for man and woman. . .Unless you are not spiritual then you do whatever you want but if you have a male friend and you love each other and you both want to spend your lives together the thing to make it whole is marriage.
We are in a world where beliefs are instilled at a very young age and are a part of life. Attraction for the other sex or same for some people comes at a very young age and we know that the end result of this attraction is what leads to marriage. . .Marriage comes from people's beliefs and many do not just one to live with someone without the union of marriage. . .If we were living in a world where spirituality and beliefs were not around then I do not think marriage would be either. . There are many women who are living in places where marriage is not forced on them but  their choice to get married, to have that union with someone. Nowadays, many men just want to sleep with you and leave and many men/women who have beliefs want to have the union first before knowing eachother sexually and because of the lack of many men/women not wanting that it leads to the desperation to find someone who has the same beliefs to them. . .
I do know many women are being forced in marriages they do not want to be in but I also know that many of these women want to find someone they love who loves them back to marry.
If you noticed- the dreams of a human to get married stems from childhood-where they plan the man/woman they want to marry, how they want their weddings to be etc.
We are in the times where people do not respect the constitution of marriage anymore which is leading to women/men having children with different people, having sex with anybody without a care in the world. . .Some people do not want that, some people want to grow up, become successful, get married and have children and most importantly have God in their lives. . .
For the OP to say people who are not married should just live their lives is just silly. . .You have been living your life for so long and all you now want to do is settle down and build a family.

Offtopic- I do not see the point in two people who love eachother dearly and want to spend the rest of their lives together not get married. . .I just do not get it. . .If you want to be together why not just get married and have your children in the stronghold of your marriage?

Kandinwa (Kandi baby)
You just said what I also said which is that there is a difference between having a man friend and being married to a man, the two are choices. I did not express what I feel about the two different unions and from what I gathered from your post above you seem to be expressing what you feel about that which is lovely.  You are entitled to your opinion about these just like others may have a different view about it, we seem to have close takes to it and a bit different views too. Our differences are one of the things that make us different. Smile!  

The environment, knowledge and our beliefs shapens our outlook on things. If you ask me what I think about these two unions when I was young, I will negate one and accept the other. Now I am open to the two as in I see nothing wrong with two adults that decided that they do not want to be legally bonded to themselves as husband and wife sharing love, friendship and companionship.

God created man and woman and made us in such a way that we compliment ourselves especially in the s-e-x-u-a-l aspect _{this is one of the reasons why I don't support homosexuality but that is not what we are talking about here}). It is true that religious wise, we use the line that "marriage is ordained by God" but I haven't read where the First man and woman Adam and Eve got married. I think that man himself brought about the laws of legalizing marriage. I am not cancelling marriage or saying that it is needless. In my opinion, marriage is very necessary for a man and woman that intend to have kids so that the kids can grow under the love of both parents. Marriage may also be necessary for a man and woman that want no children but want to live together and benefit from the rights the marriage laws of their land has in place (like bearing the name of the man & inheriting the properties of each at the event of de*th of the other). A man and woman that has no need of these are supposed to be free to live their lives. Should they run and get married just because they want to respect the constitution of marriage (as you said) or because everybody around them are married? God created Eve for Adam after realizing that Adam needs a help meet. Naturally men and women long for themselves because of the natural urge they have in them and a man and a woman that decide to be help meet for each other and fancies each other should be free to be with each other. I haven't seen a society that sends police to arrest a man and a woman because they are living together apart from countries with strict religiously influenced laws.

I don't support wild living in which a woman or a man sleeps around with any different woman or man that they come across each day and fancies, I only have nothing against a man and a woman that decide to live together and complement and love themselves (as in the case of Orprah). Men and women have a right to the choice of marriage and they have a right to the choice of procreation but in my opinion marriage should back up procreation for the health of the family.

In my own opinion again, an unmarried lady approaching menopause and wants kids should be able to have kids. The same society that has it that a woman should not go and marry a man should allow women have kids if they don't marry. They were not given the same rights the menfolk were given to marry who they desire so it is unfair on them to be childless if they want children. It is beautiful if a child is afforded the opportunity to be together with his/her two parents but an unmarried woman that has no husband and has a child cannot help that situation. It is enough that the society denied her a right to her choice to go for a husband she wants.

You may agree with me, you may not. Another person may agree with some opinions of mine and disagree with some, nothing changes the fact that we are all entitled to our opinions.    

@Poster
If she is still into her ex you are better off a love triangle. Don't get entangled there in. If they are done and over with themselves that is the only time that is right for you to date her if you love her. [color=#000095] The fact that your friend has dated her does not make "undateable" by you. I have seen a man that married his friend's ex-wife after she got maltreated and divorced and now they are having a great union.[/color]

Quote by MrBrownJay
@poster
A) i sincerely hope that the reason that your best friend is not your best friend anymore has nothing to do with this damsel.
B) the fact that your best friend treated her like dirt has got NOTHING to do with your dilemma.
C) if she knew that you liked her, but decided to go for your friend, that means that you are second best and should really think about that for a minute. . . . . . . .or two!
D) now after he was done with her, you were quick to get closer to his "leftovers", to the point where you wanted a r/ship with her. where is your pride man?
E) to make matters worse, she doesnt even want you but long for that guy who treated her like garbage, THATS KARMA FOR YOU bro!

Leftovers _{(No MBJ, you didn't say that. We know you respect women. Come on!)}

Quote by Blazay
Sorry. I do not subscribe to the school of thought[b] that believes in 'chopping' other people's remnants.[/b]
That is a major turn off.
Please, try and get another lady.
This lady is gonna be on the 'rebound' for a very long time.
It is one thing not to know she used to date your friend.
But an entirely different thing to jump in there after your friend has dated her. . . break up or not.
You are still friends with both of them. . .let it stay that way.
Very tacky!

[color=#000095]

Remnants[/color]


Wow, what makes this lady a leftover/remnant? Is it the fact that the ex is his friend or the fact that she has had a relationship?[color=#000095] Some of us are in relationship or even married to others that have had relationships in the past, Can those be categorized as dating or being married to Left overs and remnants?[/color] Why haven't we heard of a man being referred to as leftover/remnant at the end of a relationship yet women get referred to as that?

In as much as I agree that loyalty demands that a friend must never make sexual overtures or try to have a hidden relationship with the spouse/partner/girlfriend of his friend/buddy I don't see anything wrong with starting a relationship with your friend's ex (if you love yourselves).[color=#000095] If they have cut things off neatly there is no law that says that your friend's ex is a No No, it may even turn out to be a perfect coupling of very compatible persons.Yeah Right![/color]

I am not saying for none to marry or have children because we will di* someday. I'm only making one of us here that was making it sound like only the unmarried and childless experience loneliness realize that that isn't so.

I love children, I have no problem with people having children they can take care of.

kandiikane:
@Ivynwa, OPRAH, has a man in her life.

She is successful and still has a man in her life.

Sweetheart, there is a difference between being married and having a man in your life. One can have a man friend to lean on with no plans of procreating with him or tying the knots. It is a matter of choice and that I think is what this thread is about.
The Poster was concerned about the desperation on both men and women to get married which is caused by factors (societal pressure & peer pressure) that should not be the main factors motivating marriage.

Brite02:
@thread,
what happen to the verse of the bible that stressed that man should go into the world and multiply? Marriage is a good thing, the thing about it is that when you are old you will learn the benefit of marriage and also having children. In summary, be it man or woman i'd advise try and get married. . . When you are old you'l know why!

Marriage is beautiful when done well by the parties involved, having children (Kids?? I love them   ) is great but let's not get it twisted. Marriage or kids does not ensure a loneliness-free life. There are married couples that have such great divides between themselves that they are lonely even while married. There are kids that grow up and leave home without caring about their parents, I have seen a woman complain that her married children do not bother about her and that she needs to get a man for herself     (Lol, don't mind that my neighbour----she is still the same one that loves Naija men like crazy   )

Husband-o-o, children-o-o, me o-o and you-o-o. A day is appointed for us all to mud/delete/di*( I no wan di* yet abeg  ) and husband and children may even journey ahead of you leaving you lonely. Like Cap28 said "Nothing is guaranteed".

@Poster
It's great to have a Nigerian male with such dignifying notions about marriage. You are right, our society is turning it into something else and it is the female gender that are on the losing end of it all. A girl starts getting pressured into marriage and having it drummed into her ears as soon as she approaches puberty, by the time she is in her early twenties and some mates of hers are getting married the pressure doubles. Let her get into her thirties with no husband and she will be getting more than pressure because insults, side-talk and unhappiness (if she allows the pressure to get to her) will be added to it full measure shaken together.

I agree that marriage is good for love, procreation and companionship yet it isn't everybody that it appeals to. Children are worth having, they bring great joy yet it isn't every woman that loves and wants kids. Why pester and pressure such persons into it only for them to leave trails of divorce behind coupled with children that lack the luxury of cherishing their two parents under one roof. It is not right to pressure women who have no desire for kids into marriage only for them to bear children they do not intend to love and care for.

Excerpts from Da Doctor's post
----------------------------------------------  Marriage has its challenges though and this i think is making people come up with all manner of philosophy to defend their school of thought.
it is well sha, I WISH YOU ALL GOOD LUCK AND JONATHAN!!!
THE TRUE BEAUTY AND PRIDE AND HONOR OF A WOMAN IS THE HUSBAND, AND VICE VERSA, Dont get it twisted!!!!!
Da doctor writes from EKO  

I disagree with the notion displayed in Da Doctor's post above. The true beauty, pride and honor of a woman is not her husband. The true beauty of a woman is not in the things that surrounds her, it is not even in her physical features (however beautiful the features may be). The true beauty of a woman lies in her heart and soul.

Let us stop feeding the womenfolk that lie and having unmarried ladies get pressured into unhappiness and low esteem. Our women have a right to happiness, should enjoy themselves and live their lives even if there's no husband in it. Hey! no one was strapped with a husband from the womb so why should women be made to feel that a husband completes the stories of their lives. It is such wrong, archaic & ignorant notion that have some shallow thinking women snob and look down on the unmarried while considering themselves more fortunate and better than them. The fact that a woman has a husband and children does not make her a better person than the rest of the unmarried women folk. If that is the case, should a (widow) a woman that has lost her husband no more be respected or appreciated as a person? If the true beauty /pride and honour of a woman is her husband, does the essence of a woman die with the death of her husband?

A woman without husband is still a full woman whether the Nigerian society accepts that or not, unmarried ladies should no more allow themselves be trodden upon or nosed down by others with such sickening notions. Orprah has no husband yet she is still a great woman that has brought love, warmth and sunshine into the lives of many. A woman should be a woman loving, charming, warming and affecting her world with her feminity whether she has husband and children or not.

@Poster
Nne you must be going through an unpleasant time right now but try and smile through the rain. Joy comes in the morning, see it as a turning point to a greater height in your life okay. Don't go a sorrowing all over the place, it will hurt definitely but find things to channel your energy into like sports, social/volunteer, educational or religious activities and you won't have the time to feel sad about it all okay.

If he walked away, he didn't appreciate you enough to want to be with you and you mustn't be hard on yourself over somebody that does not care deeply about you. Appreciate, love and take care of yourself, when your set time comes the right person will bring you joy and happiness. It is even good that he wandered away now than leaving you after marrying you or something.

I will advise that you ignore the jabs being thrown at you by insensitive and sickening persons in this thread. Don't bother going down/stooping low or engaging in argument with such. Pay them no mind okay. Everything is going to be alright.

earthrealm:
DELAY THE MARRIAGE/ENGAGEMENT, TELL HER/your FAMILY THAT U NEED MORE TIME TO CLEAR your HEAD,

IT CUD BE BTW 3 TO 12 MONTHS.STUDY THE BABE, IF your HEART AINT STILL SETTLED, DUMP HER SORRY ASSZZ,

most of the bb clutching/bb is my life chics.i utterly dislike.the ones that irritte me the most are the ones with the 100k hair, fake lashes, n all, yet they still look very hideous!, like medusa reborn, the brazilian hair thingy of 100k?!, hmmmmmmmmmm, unless i get a minimum of 1m per month, thats the only time i will indulge any chic in that cr[i]ap[/i], i did rather go to brazil and date the original.& i meant 1m usd

Where did you get this great sense of humour boy!

@190
Ewoo, has another female caught your fancy? She must be a bombshell to have you tripping so, did you jilt Darkie my daughter-in-law? I must come and check your new Annita out for you okay Baby.

@heavy g
It should be thanks to the Nairalanders that showed you concern in your threads.

190:
Ivynwa matter sef dey tire person

Shakes head You boy! I can't handle you right now, get on with your terrorist attacks in NL and let me chill .

Do let me add this for you, the fact that your fiancee is high maintenance is not enough to mark her bad. If she isn't a person with bad/dirty and disgusting behaviour, there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to look her best (I agree it has to be within her means). A certain celebrity once said that her mother taught her that a woman should be a chef in the kitchen, a queen in the parlour and a w.hore in the bedroom. I agree with that to some extent, here the word w.hore was not used in the negative sense. The statement simply meant that a wife is supposed to be a balanced female that can take care of her responsibilities in the kitchen, housekeep very well, dress well and satisfy her husband in the bedroom. (emphasis on wife not girlfriend-o-o)

If a woman is taking exceptional care of herself, it is still within the boundary of feminity. The only thing here is that she spends without being sensitive to your feelings towards that, if that is remedied you don't seem to have much problem. All in all, you are the one that knows the other places it pinches you. 

I believe that it is in the light of friendship and good humour that Clinton made that remark, we have more important stuffs in our lives to deal with as to begin to get mad at Clinton for saying that to Jonathan. Na Wa o!

I didn't realize that Obasanwa (Obasababy) is that handsome, that picture really depicted a very handsome youngman and his carriage is excellent, more of the swagger somebody hinted here stems more from Obasanwa himself than from his clothes even when his traditional wear retained its sophistication inspite of the years that has passed by after that picture was taken.
He looks sweetly obstinate as in "Nobody messes with me" and has lots of confidence. His look in that picture is very cool .

I don't understand the hullabaloo about "telling your husband about it". If it's heaving on you, you can confess it to God and put the mistake of the past behind you. Your marriage has a lot weighing down on it already for you to add more weight with the confession of your own cheating to your husband..
Revealing your cheating to your husband can either bring you two closer as in "you went to breaking point and still returned to each other's arm" [/b]and it [b]can also mar the marriage (because it isn't all men that can bear the knowledge that another person has slept with their wives, it can disgust a man to a point of never wanting the woman again. I mean such can disgust some women to that point much more a man). In my opinion the probability of confessing to him causing the latter (end of your marriage) to happen is greater.

There is no need crying over spilt milk, what matters to you now is to rescue your marriage that is tearing to shreds. What you need is good advice on how to rekindle the flame of your waning marriage. You mentioned that your miscarriage may have led to you losing interest in your husband, you can seek counselling on that or better still get into a serious prayer life with your husband. Free your mind from the remnants of the effects of the unpretty feelings you had during the miscarriage and fill your heart with positive/healthy words (from the bible perhaps). Check whether there are other stuffs that added to your husband not appealing to you anymore and efface that out. If the s.ex isn't good find a way to indirectly guide him towards making it good for you, be more open in telling him how you like it (Hey! without letting him know that you've had amazing ones recently, me I no go fit wipe your tears if your husband chase you comot  ). Resources abound in the internet on how to put the sparks back into your love life and the list is endless. I recommend the website of the Cosmopolitan magazine www.cosmopolitan.com

Now that you have repented from that, put it behind you and work towards renewing the love that you had. It is good that you had the will in you to want to break away from the man that gives amazing s.ex, a person with no self-will have stayed glued to it without caring whether her marriage breaks or not.    

Kx:
he jerks off in d toilet while urging the girl on the line to do same. Most unfaithful men self services as well.

get his closest friends and the family member he respects the most to talk to him

@kx
The fact that he jerks off in the loo doesn't prove that he has somebody at the other end that he is urging to do the same or is having phone s.ex with. We shouldn't conclude for her, it is left for her to read her man good as she has been doing so far. It won't be nice for her to accuse her husband of something she has no proof of. [color=#000099]It's a probability that that is what he engages in.

@poster
I hope you pray with him as some have advised here, sometimes ask him to lead the prayers or just list out prayer points and give him the parts that have to do with the love of your union. Let him have deep thoughts and ask himself questions after [/color] saying such prayers for your marriage. Communication is very important here as I have noted before, express yourself for him to understand what he is putting you through by ignoring you and denying you your marital rights, give him the opportunity to express himself too that way your heart and his may draw closer.

190
Nnaa I should take off my goodly-two-shoes and try cursing more often, it was so free-ing when I did that. The only thing is that it's too ghetto and streetwise for a lady to curse but at a very good time a sophisticated lil bit of it is necessary. 

@Mr. Heavy G.
I just read that part about you being a quivering mass of emotions and truly felt for you, we shouldn't be hard on you dearie. You have received great advice from good heads so far and you need to take time off and chill it down a bit so that you can pull yourself together.
Choosing a spouse to marry is a very big decision that can make or mar a man or a woman. You are supposed to have smiles and happiness when that wedding day arrives and not treading in trepidations and having feelings like "what am I getting into?" as you seem to be having right now. Do take care of yourself and your emotions.

190:
SMH

Ivynwa has totally lost it, Shaking my head

Never mind Sweetie, it's a pity Mukina refused to have me (that hardly curse) curse in NL for the first time.
Can you imagine that? Babe picked the wrong playmate. Hope she stays on course now and respect others. One love! 

Thank you very much Mukina.

Mukina,
Please kindly help me delete those posts she edited there, they are great insults to me as long as they are there. Nairalanders are already coming into that thread and making jest with that and she is laughing over it. I don't understand how an adult can bring out time to do that kind of thing in a forum, she ought to know that she cannot come to a Nigerian forum and start insulting people she does not know. Children know boundaries and what game to play with their fellow children. How can this lady fly from nowhere like a bird, perch on my posts and begin to edit and make fun of it. Which adult acts like that? It baffled me. I go about having my own fun here in NL with warmth and friendliness, I don't insult anybody so I am the wrong person for her to choose to mess around with.

mukina2:
I am sorry, i didnt see your email. where did you send it.

Sorry bout that i'll act on it asap.

I sent you a mail on it at antispam@nairaland.com yesterday.

Mukina and other moderators,
     Please can somebody make this Gambian lady Kandiikane stop following me around and editing my post making me out as though I cannot express myself in English. I have sent a mail to Mukina on this and it is yet to be acted upon. I wasn't taking her on but she is keeping up with editing my post in this thread https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-683928.32.html and making fun of it with other posters saying that she is just messing with me.
I don't understand how somebody can expect another person to construct English sentences their way. She is enforcing her constructions and even wrong English rules on me at that. She is not even contributing anything to the thread. How can she up and land on my post to edit, somebody should delete those child plays of hers and tell her to desist from insulting my person. She can pick on other people that play such children's game if there are any because I am sure that even children cannot stoop to disrespecting others like that. If she has no manners let her learn that in Nigeria we teach manners to the mannerless.

The topic of this thread is very true, the words we speak and believe in about us have a way of coming round to us. We should ensure that those words are positive.
When I was in my secondary school doing WAEC and JAMB, I had this dream to be an Engineer and in the first page of my Further Maths textbook scribbled my dream this way "A Prospective Engineer". I did my Jamb and in my first year was able to get into the dept of Mathematics yet my dream did not die with that.
I kept telling my friends that I have to do Engineering and must change over to the Faculty and they did not believe me because it is known that  the dept of Mathematics does not release any student for change of course as they always have the smallest number of intake, that rule changed after my first year there. I was easily released to change into Engineering and I graduated from the Engineering faculty, the words that I spoke into my Life came true, Alleluiah!

Glad that I bumped into this thread, I love to make some noise when I glorify my Gee Oooh Dee, now can we have some noise in the house
bguhgujygytdhggkjlkj;lk;lm,.lmknkbhvghfc gc gcdxxgcvhbjn,n,knm,m.,mk.njkbhbvgbvbgc clap clap clap clap---Alleluiah, glory to God.
Alleluiah Somebody. Make some noise W-o-o-o-y-y-y-y-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i- Alleluiah. I started my day at work yesterday with this song y and will like to share it--------------------Alleluiah! For he alone deserves all our glory.--------Glory to God!


[flash=425,344]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbjg2jCp0gs?version=3&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="385"[/flash]

I only wanted to post one music link but suddenly found myself humming this, it's equally a sweet and spirit-filled song.
For you are great, you do miracles so great. There is no one else like you, there is no one else like you.
For you are great, you do miracle---------
It's absolutely irresistible. If you hear it, you will want to praise Gee Ooh Dee with it all day long. Do have a great day everybody!

[flash=425,344]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48PTfB_PUXI?version=3&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="385"[/flash]

heavy g:
@190
i tire
@ ivynwa
For a hot minute, my fianceé's shenanigans captivated me. Now it's not funny anymore. Just because I've taken certain decisions, doesn't mean I lack depth. I wanted to retain close communication with my ex after the breakup, but she didnt want that. So when I picked up the pace of my life, the door of communition between me and ex was virtually closed.
I don't want to disappoint my fiancée, but I don't want a broken home too.
And you can't deny that my friend acted in a despicable manner.

Okay Maybe I shouldn't call it shallow/lack of deep rootedness on your part but your bolded words above did confirm that you were swayed by your fiance's flashiness but later pulled your self together which is the truth I was referring to. I am not blaming you much for that, glittering women does move some men and we humans gravitate to good looking things but need to have our thoughts together when we do. I will advice that you don't cancel things outrightly as the decision was brought about by different emotions (the thoughts of your ex, the jealousy your friend excited from going for her, the annoyance towards your high maintenance wife-to-be). You can put a hold on the engagement/wedding and give things a little time for you to simmer down and take good actions, you can talk to your fiancee about your distaste to her spending habit and her ignoring you and spending a greater part of her time Bbing.

I am not reading any bad behaviour she is exhibiting, she seems like a young girl enjoying her life being the young girl that she is. If she ask for things that you cannot afford, be bold to tell her that you can't afford that even if her Dad owns the whole world. It is better that she knows and sees you as you are now (so that she can find her way if she is not okay that you can't afford such things for her). Don't appease her now, and fulfill all her spending whims just to make her happy (while you are dying inside) only to start refusing her whims when you marry her. She doesn't seem bad from what you have told us, unless there are other bad things she is doing. Be real with her and with your self and see how things goes. As per your friend stabbing your heart, need you worry when the lady is not even interested in him? Take a time out to know what you want before going for it okay.

190:
^cheii see essay

@190
Don't let me catch you there -o-o-o, where is my broom? Ivy chases 190 out of the thread with a broom------Naughty boy!

A certain woman friend of mine once narrated her many escapades while trying to get her rich but wayward husband off the twine of women, she went to extremes I will not recommend for anyone nor mention here but I am just remembering one of the words she said she use to tell her husband which is that "She will not use one hand but two hands in saving him from tides that are sweeping him away". I am not alluding to harshness or violence, I am only saying that you do have a place in saving your man from whatever "Mushy/lusty" feelings or other things that seem to be overwhelming him. I agree with the post of "hunkyjohn", Find ways to rekindle the waning light of the candle of your love, also check yourself and ensure that you ain't doing something that is putting him off you.

Pep things up a bit, recreate things around you two, communicate good, listen to him and perhaps you can hear where things are itching him. I also agree that there may be a problem somewhere for him to prefer to jerk off than attain gratification beautifully with you. Does he have sexual problems that makes him uncomfy and shy when he is having intercourse with you. (I'm not asking you to reply but for you to work on things)

His distractions may even result from financial,business or work worries but if you have enough proof that he is unfaithful, I am thinking that it will be a good idea to lay the cards on the table and let him know that you know what is going on and that you guys need to work on your marriage and salvage it if the marriage is also important to him, he may come to his senses.
Prayers are inestimable here, it has a great potency in welding you two together especially if you pray it together. It definitely won't be easy on you having him ignore you and not having your sexual needs met. Keep being strong dearie, don't be swayed. I pray you overcome this.

Poster I am not nailing you to the cross for leaving your ex, we humans have this way of finding sweet words with which to justify some of our actions, I have a feeling that you may be doing so. Why will you let go of a good woman when you found her just because you were still living with your parents and have no job or something, you two should have worked hard to protect the priceless understanding you had. You alone knows what you saw in your intending wife-to-be that made you go for her? Somewhere in the corner of your heart you know the truth dearie. Don't you?
[b]I was able to gather from your heart rending that your relationship with your ex is not in the distant past, it seems like a recent occurrence. How come when you finally got ready to marry you never bothered to ask whether she can agree to marry you knowng that she is still single. [/b]Now somebody else you must have confided in how good and domesticated she is becoming attracted to her and you can't stand it, you are even alluding that the person tricked you out of a good woman. Do you want us to conclude for you that that friend of yours actually planned and got you off your ex so that he can have her? If that is the case, you must be entertaining us with a movie that is more engaging than our Nollywood movies ("Wait let me get my popcorn and return sweetie", Ivy dashes to the kitchen, returns with a bowl of Popcorn and curls up on the sofa)

Ehen, where did we stop sef------------
You ignored her when you want to marry for some reasons you alone truly know and now you can't bear for her to look at somebody else. Don't you want her to marry too like you yourself is about doing? You should be able to know what you want in a woman and not letting your self get swayed by the glitters and blings. Indeed how deep rooted are you Sweetie?
You are pouring your heart out to us and having people tell you not to make mistake, to go for who you actually love. You need to get some confidence and integrity up your spine for it will help you as a man if somebody else disappoints your own sister as you are about to disappoint this BB and BIGGS hopping lady (as you called her, I no fit laugh abeg  , it's not even funny) that you were at the verge of getting married to, will you be happy about it?  If I decide to just read your post, be moved by your emotions and get convinced by you, I will also be saying that you quickly diss our BB wife-to-be and go for the ex you truly love. Indeed even without being moved by those, I will rather you marry somebody you love than the person you just got attracted to with no deep feelings for because love is what will carry you and your wife through the vagaries of life yet all I am trying to point out to you is that you man up, not break the heart of ladies and be thinking deep when you make your decisions especially decisions that affect others even if you are gaining the whole world from it.
You actually have me wondering whether you truly and deeply love your ex as you are making us believe and not just having some jitters over your intending engagement/wedding. Are you sure that the fact that somebody else is looking her way has not stirred up some jealousy that made her appreciate in your eyes? How sure are you that when you go back to her, weds her and after she has a child and perhaps fattens up a bit and may not be looking very blinged up that you may not start wishing for our BB babe cladded in her tight jeans and sexy high heels dancing to "Beyonce"  (Oldboy you no want make a Sisi entertain her man with sexy dance again, na wao  ). Search your heart and be real to your self, is it a case of "the ex is the very domesticated-and-not-too-flashy humble and home girl" and the intending wife-to-be is so high class/high-maintenance and sophisticated that you got swept off your feet? My friend sit down and think deeply, know what you want before you break the heart of that girl in calling things off.
The fact that we women have to wait for the hands of men in marriage is positioning some women at the whims and caprices of some men and even making some men toy with some weak women, that is undignifying and should not be!(I don't like to see women being placed in that position). I don't even know who made that law. I am not being harsh on you Sweetie but when I consider these two women as though they are my sisters, you are simply not being fair to them at all.

In as much as we are all having fun with that picture, that kind of positioning in a small plastic like that can be dangerous enough to take a life. It's sweet to enjoy one's life with the resources you have around you however meagre yet we should be careful while at it. The black plastic have very little space and if a person sitting inside it in that position gets into difficulty, there's a possibility of drowning or serious injury. Adults should not allow the kids around them to try that as it can easily drown kids too. One Love Pips! Let the NL Fun continue---------

Just passing by! 

Abeg na only the rich fit enjoy Jacuzzi, enjoy your jacuzzi joo!