Run for your life It will only get worse.

@ At thread starter -
"Tunde said he wanted Tope to be his girl friend, but she wasn't conceding since Tunde is IGBO (Note: names used here are not the real names) and Tope Yoruba, Tope's parents don't want Igbos. For more than two years, they've been very close claiming to be best friends

According to the above, I would be concerned too if I were Bukky. It sounds like the only reason they are not an item is because of their parents, However, if their friendship has lasted this long despite their parents objections to courtship/marraige, sooner or later they will become one. My advise, tell Bukky to cut hjer losses sooner rather than later or she will be hurt, Tunde is not being fair at all to poor Bukky.

You done the right thing. If she cannot commuicate her self to you, you will have bigger probs in the future. I woul suggest talking to her, but is seems as though you have attempted to do this many times to no avail.

Some ppl are just not meant to be together. Dont let her insecurities spoil you for the right woman.

@ Poster. Dont be confused. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

No need for confusion. Appreciate her honesty and if you really care about her, you will appreciate her friendship without no strings.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Why am I starting to get a bad feeling that Nairalanders have been led up a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong garden path with this story!

Shapey, the cousin and now the husband have all come to contribute to this saga. Not that I found this strange to begin with, however, now the husband has come to add his experience. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm I smell big smelly fish here ooooo.
Maybe you guys ought to sell your script to Nollywood producers.

Me I no longer buy this story.

@ Poster. What goes around comes around. Remember that when you are about to marry the love of your life. If this 'married' man cannot honour the vows he made before the Almighty Lord, atleast, you should honour yourself.

I dont agree with it at all. He will chuck you back to where he picked you when he finishes having his fun, and wonder back to his poor wife! This poor unsuspecting wife may be you one day.

Honour your self my dear.

frFrank,  SHE'S PLAYING YOU LIKE A HARP

What ediat where you dating  what does she want to do sell it to another man,  Or maybe it clashed with your wallpaper 

Oga, you have to make this girl really deserve getting you back or she will not flinch to do it again. You need to get to know her again and examine for yourself if she has changed in to the person you NOW wish to date. If she just left you for no reason for another man ask her now what was it about him that swayed her head?  Dont be sucked into her sob stories.

For me oohh, Marraige is very necessary indeed.
My momsie and popsie are still together and they have been fab role models for an enduring marraige, I too expect this for myself.  I dont want to become a statistic or just be given the sad title of 'baby mother', It's also about an expectation of my worth, to be a wife and not just a standard girlfriend. Indeed my ideals have much to do with my Nigerian culture, thus upbringing. All of which I will be passing on to my children.  

@ Stillwater. Pele my dear. God bless. *big hug*

Like someone else said, I naturally love children and pray to be blessed with a fantasticly loving family of my own very soon. By the Almighty's Grace. Amen. I suppose I like kids/young people so much I even work with them.

[quote author=richardz I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night"

I'd say the above meant you took her for granted [/quote]

Try not to make it 20 years 

Buy your Popsie ati Momsi a return ticket somewhere nice. If owo is not available, 

Plan a party for him, 50 is a mile stone birthday. Invite all his friends, including some old ones he has lost touch with. Plan it that all his kids make a special speech showing all appreciation for him etc

I actually the party idea is better than the first one. It does depend on how long you have befor the big day, but it doesn't have to be on his day just the Sat after. Good luck.

@ Hacker777. You must stop living in DENIAL. You already know what the deal is, you must stop trying to make excuses for her behaviour. Dont let her spoil you visions and expectations of a healthy and respectful relationship. She's not ready for what you got to give, it hurts, but not as much as it would if you continue to overlook her behaviour.   Peace

@ Poster, I dont need to tell you the error of your ways - you know this already. But I do have to ask you 'what the hell were you thinking of when you decided to go to work the same morning he found out this tragic news' M&S for that matter! Wow.   No disprespect but omo, come better than that.

I think your oko has every right to be angry with you. You are the last person who he feels should have laughed at such news. However, I'm starting to think that his level of anger towards you may have a lot to do with what his mother has informed him about you in the past. She has (imo) obviously spoken things that he is seeing in you now.   This is a big shame and I am praying on your behalf that his heart softens towards you once again.

I also agree that you  MUST, at all cost go home and support him, even if M&S want to sack you for it, let them go to places.  

Good luck and the Almighty Lords blessings.

See how devide and rule still plaughs us today, @ Poster you 'try to elevate your self

I agree. Its seems a little odd that your asking for advice in areas such as distance, culture, surely yr courtship together would have answered these questions.  

How long have you been dating this young lady? Or is she someone you have taken a shine to (from afar) and are considering her as you future wife ?

that question is giving me a kind of answer to my assumption about the whole thing. we really don't go out 2geda much and its her fault. the time we have gone out 2geda have always been from my side. she is always saying she want to stay at home. this just came to my mind, cld it be she never loved me? this question is bring so many things to my head, we hardly DO THAT THING and truly when we do it, it really don't enjoy it at all. its always very boring to the core and u knw we men because of the urge we got to do it.
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OK Now it sounds as though you both are simply not COMPATIBLE I now agree you should just be friends and move on, you can not FORCE love. Pele.

Its morally wrong. Why are two sisters marraid to two brothers. Did yr friend meet him through her sisters relationship with her now husband? If so, it wrong for the two siblings to go this far(imo). However, if they met seperately then it lessensa the moral boundaries. Overall, this is just TOO CLOSE TO HOME. Haba.

@Poster, I really DONT THINK SHE IS SEEING SOME OTHER MAN. Your girlfriend simply WANTS A BIT OF A CHALLENGE   Would you not get BOARD of the same old routine day in day out?

What else do you people do besides you going o see her EVERY day from work? What are her interest? What are your interests?

@ Every body who suggested another man has taken her interest. Its best not to judge EVERY case by your own experiences. Not every body is this fickle

@Poster, Give her some space and then plan an exciting surprise for her that does not invlve her neighbourhood

@ Prince_onx. I did not want to laugh but your post was too funny, but on point.

@ Segzi Cres. I agree with Prince, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE but b4 you do so, I suggest you try and persuade her to visit a Phycologist - counsellor, this behaviour is NOT NORMAL for any of u. Maybe speak to your lecturer for advise a.s.a.p.

I dont understand what the couple are fretting about. You said they done the traditional engagment in Naija this year am I mistaken by thinking they are already Husband and Wife in the laws of Nigeria? Please enlighten me if I have it wrong.

If the issue is the parents - Are they really going to consider terminating their first child on this basis? Haba I'm sure their folks would understand, they have been together for 8 years for goodness sake.

If the issue is the woman not wanting to walk down the aisle heavily pregnant, I understand, why dont they consider pushing the wedding forward?

But to even contemplate termination (imo) would be a grave mistake. Please ask them to consider their options wisley. Please I urge you.

Blackcat:

What do I explain? I told my husband, I would like to exchange e-mails with my boss and become friends in order to help my chances of changing my department easily and if it gets to my boss asking for more than been friends like sex, I would quit and my husband understood. My boss doesn't work in the same building, infact not even in the same country. I don't think it will really lead to much,

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So! Why don't you just break down all the relevant details in the first post rather than getting people to mis understand your intentions. On that basis, i really think deep down your intentions are NOT honourable. 
Yor boss is HOT, but IM MARRIED. Girl stop fooling your self.

Your post sounds like a fantasy from your diary However, I give you the benefit of the doubt.

My friend, get out of this church and report him, What kind of pastor is this. Omo I beg, dont let him abuse you any more.

Please read Corinthians 2, CH 11. Adultery, False Prophets! Galatians, Corinthians 1

For you my dear, read Proverbs 31.

I think, get a crip of your sences girl. Fix up, look sharp.

What should a man do when a woman hits him?

The same as a woman should do if a man hit her, RUN LIKE THE WIND

ikamefa:

or e kuu keresimesi

Too funny.