₦airaland Forum

NwamaziNwaAro:

Hunter turns bushmeat.



May God save all of us from mistaken identity

And

May everyone plotting our downfall be humiliated and humbled like this mumu

Who

Left all the girls in US

to come and fight for one bush meat in Agulu.

Baba, u harsh o! bush meat in Agulu!

twilliamx:
One day i was driving on ikorodu road, na so i notice say one car they drive any how by my side, na so i commot hand for window come do WAKA, the next thing wey i see na say the car slowly pulled up by my side i come look inside the car, wetin i see nearly give me heart attack.
Three military men with red beret and feather for the beret, they told me to park and the rest is history...

Omo, if na me, i no park o! I dey craze!? Those people no send anybody o, i go just drive off, if dem wan open fire no p, but i no fit park chop beating.

agrovick:
The amount of brain dead folks wasting precious oxygen is just astonishing.

If only the 'theory of survival of the fittest' holds

If the theory of survival of the fittest holds, you'll probably be dead, but if the theory of survival of the smartest holds, we might have a chance

bro, u wanna swap for phone? I got Z30 and willing to give you some cash on top. If u don't want the Z30, then will u sell 20k? I gat cash
Also, we name sakes so, u go give me discount.

I don't know why girls check on their exes tho
Like u wanna know if he enjoying or what??

I'm imagining what dangote's exes will be doing now

EHMIR:
are u an active name checker,if yes ur license must be withdrawn...


Akwa ibomites are not flat heads nd flat heads do not hail frm akwa ibom.


NCA,head office,istanbul,turkey...sincerely apologise to flat heads for the ignorance of this would be name checker,we wish to disassociate our esteemed self frm this above comment,any damages done to flat heads shall be paid wholly by this individual..once again we apologise,


our licensed members are knwn for professionalism nd accuracy in checking names

Thanks for making me laugh this terrible morning

Good luck bro, in this Buhari period, u are going to need it. If u do succeed, which I pray you'll, don't forget ur boy. I might need 500k from u too to pay back 700k but till then. Don't worry tho, the money will come.

Heromaniaa:
Odimegwu Ojukwu once said that The term coit.us interruptus best describes policies in Nigeria. It is a sexual term where the man withdraws at climax and pours his juice outside the woman to avoid impregnation . In Nigeria, from the onset, whenever we seem to be getting it right, whenever we seem to have reached the climax, we withdraw and pour it all away. We are all smoke and no fire, all bark and no bite, all Motion and no movement. A wretched Third World wasteland

I'm utterly impressed with the way u put those words together. Very impressive!

Good!

I'm just thinking how tis gay's parents will be feeling when they see their son on TV.

Sorry, I mean guy's

chiefmidwife:
My mother and my aunt want to claim their father's landed property but they were denied it on the ground that according to tradition women don't inherit their father's property and 2ndly they are married off and their father didn't write any will..
NB their father had no son or brother or uncle..
Is it possible based on recent court judgement for my mother and aunt to win in court?
Advice pls it's urgent

I can relate to your problem, the lands doesn't necessarily belong to mum and ur aunt but it's better it goes to them both than to anyone else. My dad has land issues with a lot of people and he never lost his lands to any of those people and they're two ways to win, one is with a lawyer(Make the preceding judge will FåvOur u for no reason, and the opponent's lawyer won't be organized and be talking rubbish) and the other is to make whosoever that is interested in the land to loose interest(If someone who you know wants to take the land from y'all, then make them wake up the next day and think, mehn I should leave tis land for tis family) both have worked but in ur case I've to suggest a lawyer, and take the case to court. But, I've to warn you, you're about to go to battle, I hope you've money cos nothing is free in tis world. If you really wanna win ur dad's props and make people forget about the land, and u have money then drop your number or bbm pin I'll contact u. If not, kindly ignore and keep scrolling down. Thanks for reading.

P.S. My way involves juju.

SAINTSAMURAII:
NOT GUYS LIKE ME.

I ain't even gat time for waiting and when I'm in the market looking for chicks I don't waste my time with one, I'll chyke like ten at a go and at the end I'll choose and jonze d others that I wasn't serious about the wooing. Mehn, na learner guys dey wait for girls.

layla129:
Errm, i have seen how most Nigerians guys complain about how their ladies love money and so on but the truth is everyone is craving for a better life and future. If not, why do some guys also say they can't marry an uneducated lady or an unemployed lady?

Anyways, here are some things i feel guys can do to limit the way some ladies prey on them.

1. Its simple be honest with her.
If your budget can't handle going out, tell her. If you can't afford the expensive dresses, bags and so on, tell her. She is going to respect your willpower and how responsible you are with money. If she balks, she is not the girl for you.

2. Be honest with yourself.
Truth is, some guys like to brag, show off and what's not...you clearly know you can't afford some things she requests for but you decide to play along. The more you prove you can afford those things, the more requests she brings.

3. Save for get aways and trips.
You don't just plan trips and expensive shopping overnight, you save for them...it makes spending a lot easier and fun.

4. Save for presents also.

If you explain things to her properly, i'm sure she'll understand if she means well for you and if not, what will be will be.

5. Tell her you can't withdraw from your account because of BVN

OP, I was just discussing this topic with a friend yesterday, she said that being honest is the best way, you should tell the girl first thing that, I no too get money and if you earn 100k, don't go and tell her u earn 100k, tell her u earn less and if she loves you, or even likes you, she'll stay with u. If she came to dig gold then, immediately you say, 'No much money' she'll be at the door asap. And some guys don't even help their matter, them go brag say na der father born Buhari, they are step brothers to Buhari and that their father is Obj FYI, I'm not making any political jokes, I'm just trying to show how outrageous the kinda lie guys tell to girls, just to get her to bed *Smh*

vizkiz:
ermm.... tithe. The last time I paid mine was 2 months ago, e no even complete sef

God is watching you. Me na Internet bill. I wish for free Internet for all.

TPAND:
Na bricklayer edition you buy?

Very funny

What?

It's a shame to those that call her 'nigga' and 'monkey', u wanna know why it's a shame? Because they sleep in the same flat with a 'nigga/monkey'. They go to the same school as a 'nigga/monkey'. Racists are very stupid.

Swap with Z30 ?

saintdennis:
Hmm upon all my escapades ain't got one rily badt experience so I will share a close shave with death/better injury cos of konji back in skul.

Mary(not real name) had the best shaped & sized azz I ever seen, the type you only see on tv and magazines, met her @ a party held @ S&T barracks Found out she's in my dept but running p/t program, has a bf (a cultist) but jeez that body make me risk collect number.

Fast-forward 2/3 times we hooked up @ a friends place in bdpa since I knw say the dude no dey enter eiye zone.

Konji make me wear bathroom slippers run go her place run shows all night then around 6am or so the next day her bf knocks on the door, she's panicking, am panicking then my guardian angel gives me sense! I go to her kitchen (self con ish). Tell her to open the door, she does, the dude walks in, I come out of the kitchen 10 seconds later with garri, rice and fresh tomatoes , greeted the obviously perplexed bf, thank Mary for giving me the money and foodstuff, slipped into my bathroom slippers and left the room.

My acting was so good the babe called to hail me, that even she believed me.

To reinforce the I am a broke guy lie (armed with the knowledge her bf spent the night with her) i went to her place by 5:30am knocked on d door and she gave me more foodstuffs.
The guy even gave me his carpet and curtains the following semester since he was graduating .

Guys ALWAYS WEAR NORMAL HOUSECLOTH AND BATHROOM SLIPPERS so you fit claim neighbour o. #freeAdvice

My guy! I tot I was d smartest until I met u. U smart! Like soon to be a millionaire kinda smart

chizzygirl99:
Bia this poor man, did u see any carton in the pics the op uploaded, or u have spoilt ur eyes with garri finish. Can't u just shut ur mouth and let people with money buy whatever they want, must u put ur ffilty mouth in everything. To hell with you and your mum, mummies boy, shey ur mama they here ni?ode..go and produce ur own na.did the op scam ur mum or ur generation? Ffoolishh boy

OP at his female dupe! I didn't take any offense at ur comment, and I won't even bother insulting you, I won't stoop so low. I know you're a hater, I don't see why u took my comment so personal and insulted me on top of it But, I can categorically state that this phone is definitely a clone or not brand new with enough proof to ban the OP. For the mean time, Keep hating.

Where u stay?

If that's brand new, then it's China / Clone / Fake But if it's not Clone, then it's not brand new because that's not original Samsung galaxy S4 cartoon, I know my mum have used Samsung galaxy S3, S4 and S5 and they were all brand new. What I'm trying to say in essence is that I smell scam

U don't kill snakes in Anambra. Don't ask me why but u just don't!

Saladin25:
Haha.. don't mind many of them. When they get into it and understand what it entails they will know that theory us different from practical or sorry to say let one of them(ladies) lose her husband with two kids at age of 32. Let me see how a single guy that has never had a child will want to marry her. Polygamy is the solution.

I could remember one OAP that was brought on your views once said she doesn't mind being second or third wife as long as the man can take care.of her. She made a salient point that, being a single mother is not easy. There are roles a woman can't play like a man no matter how successful she is.

That's very true brother! I'm a huge fan of the truth, I mean the real truth, I've been telling the truth for a long time, and lemme tell you another truth, are u ready for the truth? The truth is nobody wants to hear the truth, that's the truth, they want something fabricated or easy to handle, so please you are telling the truth and I advise you should stop, u wanna know the reason? Cos everybody will see you as a pessimistic human being while in the true sense of it, you're being real, you're being realistic. The truth is like a very thick bitter ointment, nobody will drink it cos it's very bitter, if you want them to drink it, mix a lot of water (Fabrications) with it, so they'll drink it easily. That's my advice bro. Thanks again for showing the truth, but as you can see, nobody wan drink am.

Toks2008:
Before i dwell on the matter i would like to welcome every Lady Nairalander who has perfected the act of E-cursing to come on board especially those who are still far from the reality of marriage to call me names like monster,misogynist or any other name that comes to your mind.

Yes we know that philandering is a hell bound sin and adultery is very sinful so this is not about justifying or encouraging the act but does that change the fact that a man who will cheat on you will do and some guys will never cheat on the woman in their life but unfortunately there is no way this can be written on their foreheads.

Many ladies hate to hear the word "Polygamy" but do you know that POLYGAMY IS THE ANSWER TO THE PRAYERS OF MANY LADIES such as:

1.Many never married single ladies in the late 30s and in their 40s.
2.Many lady divorcées with children.
3.Many widows in their 30s and 40s

Apparently it is the married men that will fancy these set of ladies MORE and only a lady in their shoes will relate perfectly to my stands and i believe it makes no sense for a man to divorce an innocent wife because he desires another woman.

How hypocritical it is that ladies will prefer a man to be married to them alone and keep side dishes rather than for the same hubby to marry more wives and remain faithful to them? Same ladies that talk down on polygamy will be the same having affairs with married men and i just wonder at the level of hypocrisy and foolishness.

And even more pathetic is the fact that a lady will divorce her husband because he decides to marry or date another lady just for her to end up as a mistress to another married man or starts sleeping around shamelessly after divorce.
[size=15pt]
SO IF YOU ARE NOT READY FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF SHARING YOUR HUSBAND WITH ANOTHER WOMAN EITHER AS A MISTRESS OR ANOTHER WIFE PLEASE DON'T BOTHER GETTING MARRIED.[/size]

I know many ladies will say a man should also be ready to share his wife too but please you are free as a lady to marry more than one husband at the same time if you can


This is not the way it should be but a fact you must accept as a lady or stay single for life.

OP, don't reply to any of these haters, they think marriage is a game for kids. Don't worry, time will show them what you're trying to say, cos by the time they enter into marriage, the guys will understand and the girls will. Thank u for this piece of information. I completely understand, but they won't.

Y'all act like it's a good thing to patronize prostitutes. Sometimes I wonder, if this cases gets reported to police, does police arrest the ones who patronize the prostitutes? Like I read of a guy who gat stabbed by an olosho, does he get thrown in jail with the olosho? Or is prostitution legal in Nigeria? It's A question and I want answers from the smart guys of NL.

kolajoo:
My own Val Black is beautiful so natural and face of Africa

Child abuse!

And those of us that don't speak yoruba should kiss àss abi? Fúck the stupid mod who moved this shít to front page bunch of tribalists.

dovelike:
NL guys dem are ugly kaiiiiiiiiii

Sharap! See as you carry beards full your face, tufia!

I'm 6ft 1inch and still growing, so for me, I'm attracted to a girl who is almost as tall as me. I often walk up to ladies to say hi and codedly check her height, if she's tall enough, I'll move from hi to can I have your number .

After height then boobs, I'm a boob guy, I don't care about your booty as long as you gat alil curve(hips) and for the boobs, nothing too big, nothing too small, I prefer small to big tho.

Then, the girl have to be smart, not interested in money and willing to spend time together.

If you fit all those description, I'm attracted, whether you dark or you fair, I don't care just gimme your number and we'll see some other time and probably kick it off from there

Shagati:
Please Google: "Back to the future DeLorean"

Ignorance is a disease op is suffering from, tufia!