₦airaland Forum

[quote author=KnowAll link=topic=242508.msg3544903#ms g3544903 date=1236185399]I dont hate Igbos, infact I have 3 good freinds in London, 1 Igbo, 2 Rivers- Kalabari man, and the 3rd Yoruba. but I hate denials historical facts should not be distorted. I am full qualified Naija man, my 1st wife is Igbo did not workout and I am currently married to Edo woman. I am a detribalized Nigerian [/quote]If u can count the number of Igbos around u, my guy, u r a tribalist. QED

back to the thread, is the thread moderator testing the waters for Maduekwe, cos look around, the man is an AGIP - Any Government In Power. He is the greatest sychophant, ass kisser, bootlicker, even bigger than Yomi Tokoya of the Abacha era. You might wonder why he is forever relevant so far, he switches allegiance to whomever butters his bread. That man is loyal to himself.

[quote author=stoik_joy link=topic=242508.msg3544752#msg3544752 date=1236183750]Must a far, i measure COMPETENCE under this framework-Knowledge , Skill and Ability.

Knowledge= If u have listen to madueke talkin,maybe u will be convinc on his competence in this area

Skill=He has always remain politically relevant compared to other of  his PDP coleagues.

Ability=Any able citizen of this country can contest election. Even sick people can act in the capacit of nigerian president not to mention people who are healthy.

I hope this answer u ?  must a far[/quote]did u ever listen to Obj speak, rambling on and on and still making no sense or hear the famous speeches of Azikiwe. Maduekwe only competence is boot licking.

Maduekwe for President - NO NONO NONO NONO NONO NO.

y don't the IGBOS prop up Emeka ANYAOKU?

Good movie, bad movie, what is the lesson behind it?

@ Bishoptboy & Co., wat would u be expecting from a village bigs gal just entering campus, loud manners and dats wat was given. u talk about technicalities, story line, editing and others, how many Nigerian films have measured up to ur standard or how many films have u produced or directed or starred in. I recently watched jenifa, and to say the truth, at a time i was bored, but i endured to the end and was rewarded with the lesson behind the movie, SPREAD THE MESSAGE, NOT THE VIRUS.

u need to send out a message to the country and stop putting other people' efforts down.

@ the rest of NLers, SPREAD THE MESSAGE, NOT THE VIRUS.

bishoptboy:
Rekky and buffhead did you guy go to school at all. cant you read? leave me alone to my opinion. i wasnt talking to you. i was talking to purestboy and those that share my view. if you love and adore the film good for you. leave me to my opinion. I watch film as a critic not a "groopy".
cheers

Hope u get payed for it, otherwise its a waste of time.

ciao.

Bros, true to God, i no know the answer to this question. whether we be country na aoda mata sef.

Fhemmmy:
In 2007, Nigeria was ranked 148. This latest survey places Nigeria as the 59th most corrupt country. This is by no means a small achievement for a country which some years ago, was ranked one of the most corrupt countries in the world.

Notwithstanding the controversy surrounding the efficacy or otherwise of TI's methodology, becoming the 59th most corrupt out of 180 countries ought to call for a celebration. Not even the government celebrated. What could have been wrong?

@ fhemmmy, i sure say no be Oshodi u go school, answer question about naija, if na 3rd or wetin, and not if we corrupt or not.

make i shadow passengers jo, , abule strrrrrrreeeettttttt,

OK, Una don finish? De gbosa & talkie talkie, una don finish? i put sand for hand, if u want fite/quarrel, nack my hand(dat na if una understand my yarns).

make u take dis move as Yar' Adua ECONOMIC STIMULUS for nigerians. dat na a measure of wetin we be for their eyes.

Sum people dey Jand dey yarn opata about paying bills, government dey pay bills? abi una never hear of Army, Police and other government places wey dey owe NEPA( oops sorry) PHCH ([b]P[/b]roblem [b]H[/b]as[b] C[/b]hanged [b]N[/b]ame) bills. Water rate nko. abeg leave matter for matthias.

When u wake up for morning see ur taxes on the local politician, u go vex to pay again.

When Lagosians begin pay tax voluntarily, even Fasola dey surprised, y? because we dey see wetin dey sele.

make all these tins open our eyes, si dat by the next election, all these jand people wey dey make noise here go come vote and see how e dey be for Naija.

God don save us already. God bless naija.

@ hafees, I love ur dedication to Naija. Our Politicians misbehave because they are not accountable to anyone. Me thinks we should toe ur line, but how does it align with this proposal from the IGP?

@ kobojunkie, the problem with Naija is not only of Leadership ut also of bad followership. from ur profile, u don jand, abi. Una dey drive against traffic there, dey disrespect police and traffic people, dey bribe openly or celebrate if ur friend brother get political appointment? What hafees is saying is change urself, ur orientation, ur immediate surrounding where u have influence and we can all start from there, like, how about registering the correct data when purchasing your sim pack under Okiro proposal. sumtin like dat.

No vex, we never jand, we no get alternative.

D man dey read him own things him way, 10 zillion tins dey wey Naija Police need to work but fa fa fa fowl, na sumtin like dis oga igp go shook mouth put. me sha, my own be say make dem compel telefone companies to assist in investigations by releasing info about certain lines in question. and by the way, GSM companies get our data on their system ooooo, make we no fool ourself. I miskatenly lock my line one time like dat,(u know now, i dey do tubu tubu with recharge card), when i call to beg dem to open the line, the operator just ask me strait, is dat I, , she call my name. i bow.

We dey register our line unknowingly by activation.

naija police need more to work well, no be dis wayo rule.

Na joblessness dey worry all of una. so na wether Igbo Man sing with Yoruba or Yoruba man sing with Igbo, naim una dey quarrel put so tay persons dey enter assylum, pple dey turn dummy and co. WAKE UP, YA" ALL! Naija is more than that, we don move on from the days of Osita Osadebey and Ebenezer Obey, even den Rex Lawson did songs in virtually all highlife languages, any body curse am?

D'banj!D'banj!D'banj!D'banj!, D'banj do the entire song in Igbo, abi na phrases him use. Oruka by Sunny Nneji was even more complicated for the Ogoja man dan igwe for Banji.

But, eni wey, all man get point for him side. person wey sing with another tongue want show him skill and appeal to a wider audience, not necessarily becos of money, but acceptance. Artistes are PARTICULAR about acceptance and perception as VERSATILE.

MAKE I BEG UNA, NO FIGHTING PLS. IF FITE HUNGRY U, COME OUR PARK FOR UNDER BRIDGE FOR OSHODI, WE GET PEOPLE WEY DEY FIND FITE,

Get friendly and interact with NLers. u will actually get noticed.

Sometimes, crazy user names and jibes do the trick, like i once had a long fight with sumone here cos of my user name=jaguda.

hang around.

it will anarchy, u really want to partake in election processes, come back home and vote. INEC can hardly handle votes casted in Naija, talk less of those abroad, sure in my state of Delta, abroad votes cast would surpass those of the entire country.

Model: Dell Inspiron 700m
Service tag: 3BRP361
Express Service code:7241995081

NLers, i recently upgraded the RAM of my Dell Inspiron 700m laptop from 512MB to 1GB and the system just refused to come on. its been asking for a password which i can't seem to get. I tried replacing the old RAM but the password prompt wont go away. Sumbody help , plsssssssssssss.

Just page 1 and can't help laughing. the moment i saw the title of the thread, i was like, No WAY, not even for love and i guese dats d verdict. one day i go one small chop chop for Oceanview restaurant with some telecoms guys, Bruce Lee come serve food for one revolving table(1st sin) i just dey on the look out for rice and anything, but for one course, dem serve corn soup, see people dey drink soup dey smile, but omo boy want vomit, i gast to stop (funny eoff Corn na my daily bread ooo). Since dat day, no corn soup for me.

Anoda time, na ekpang Nkukwo for Calabar (mashed cocoyam porridge), sorry i no fit pretend.Even mfi i no sabi suck. and all thesena for Naija o, maybe dat na one reason y i still perch for Naija dey enjoy the jaga jaga country.

so many scenarios, so many arguments, so many fights. WHO IS READY FOR A CHE GUVERRA STYLE REVOLUTION? A JERRY PAWLINGS REVO? who?

The National and state Assemblies are populated by people who were not voted, but got in there tru means we can't really say. How many of u guys even voted in the last elections? or even registered? or have u presented urselves as candidates? Did u read the read the begining of this thread, the National Assembly has witnessed the fall of 4 Senate Presidents and 1 speaker, from where is the next Speaker going to be picked from?

As Nigerians, our national past time is blame shifting and name calling. Its always nice to point fingers, like sumone here saying he is close to Bankole and on dis issue, he is innocent, fa fa fa fooowwwl, in Naija, it is ,"GUILTY UNTILL PROVEN INNOCENT", mind check, the corpers issue at the delta.

i once did an opinion poll ( u won't see the results anywhere) about relatives of government officials. My simple question was, "IF YOUR FATHER OR MOTHER WAS MADE A MINISTER, AND AFTER 3 YEARS, NO NEW HOUSE, NO LOOTED FUNDS, JUST HONEST SERVICE TO THE COUNTRY, WAT WOULD U DO" and on every occassion, the answer was always, i'll steal on his behalf/i'll disown him/ y will he wen its our time to steal. so guys untill we start a revolution to cleanse the land, NAIJA wil be like dis. As a people, we move around with too many excess lugages, yes we do. school fees here, house rent there and the likes.

Our national fabric is worn out morally. Wat is the moral justification of the Integrity Group in the Lower House in exposing this episode? abeg i tire.

BUT Naija is the only country i have and we must build it together. BUT first, we need a revolution!

wetin una dey talk about? i never go yankee before oooooo, but d small wey i know, DO NOT TRIVALIZE, me thinks NAIJA RAISED KIDS are better. Anoda question is where in Naija is dis supposed kid being raised?

Olodo nairalanders, na toto blow whistle dey shack una, una leave the main gist. The gist be say as Naija babes dey do shakara now, bobos go see dem run o? instead na TOTO una minds fix on. Yeun yeun peeps.

To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to
lower-fat foods, including skim milk.

When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that
she keep their regular container

and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite a while, until her
daughter asked one morning whether the

milk was okay.

"Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found out.
"Why do you ask?"

The daughter explained, "Well, according to the expiration date, this
milk expired six months ago!"

@ jakumo, wats wrong with ur senses, @ kobojunkie, the two of u make us sick. Are we talking about IBB or OBJ here, NO. Are u guys saying wat Ba did was rite? i also read sum other person saying it was the British Police and not BA dat was responsible for the incidence, i beg to disagree, u r digressing. Didn't BA just regret the incidence, even BA is accepting responsibility but see our "Abroad" brothers selling us out.

Don't u saboteurs ever complain about NIGERIA AGAIN, cos u have lost the rite to be called NIGERIANS!

There are certain things dat can't be changed about us and dat includes being our brothers' keepers.

I have read through the thread and there is one bloke, Jakumo, dat has stood out. He has consistently told us to be timid and intimadated by the white, i wish Fela was alive to talk to him. Blokes like dat cheapen us as a people. He seems well travelled and the like, but the does not understand the NIGERIAN in us.

Does he know the problem we are facing now? We used to be one big community, everyone brings up a child but all dats changed. We can never walk pass a person being oppressed. Me, i am well travelled in the SOUTHERN PART OF NIGERIA, Jakumo should make sure dat his BRITISH COLONIALS leave ND cos issues like dis makes revolutionaries out of the ordinary.

Me thinks Newton Jibunoh's travel routes is the best - LAND.

Boycott BA from 15th May.

They regret the incidence, but no apologies, what Cheek!.

Ojuelegba straightttttttt,

Naija is a funny place but Al Kini won't bomb Naija. Remember the bomb threat of the American Embassy in 2004? Shakara!

Sumbody mentioned Kenya and Tanzania, well, they are different from Naija. Naija is a DISASTER, so one will waste the bombs coming here.

Abeg jo, Mushin olosa straighttttttttttttttttttt,

Mc Omo, u lie, ur statistics do not correlate. The question is name one Christain Governor of Lagos State, aside Otedola? forget LGAs, State House of Assembly and the little irritants down the ladder, show us one Christain Governor? The same trick Kaduna State plays time after time, get a muslim Governor and a Christain Deputy and everything is alrite.

Or u want to tell me there were no credible christain candidates?

Its not a new thing, We have closely followed dis trend from a distance. OTEDOLA, the only elected CHRISTAIN Governor of Lagos , only benefitted from the tussle between Agbalajobi and one other person. When Fasola was popped up, the first question i asked was, is he a Muslimi and the answer was affirmative. YES, the the thread topic suggest, LAGOS STATE IS RUN BY A CLIQUE OF MUSLIM BROTHERS.

I know they are smart enoff not to introduce sharia though, that would expose them.

if i be 2face, i go shout Ole, barawo , thief tire. Una realise how many times dose Broses don visit am? very soon na for stage dem go go meet am. 2baba carry dey go.

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!




Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Samsung Electronics

Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

RAC Motoring Services

Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator:&nbsap; ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Directory Enquiries

Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- ------------ --------- --------- --------- ----

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations! ):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. '

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared. '

Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'

Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark??'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not??'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power, , A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!! !

MY FAV SITCOM OF ALL TIMES

?? ,

I be television pikin, so where do i start,


ok

Different strokes
Second Chance
The Jefferson
The Good Times
Mixed Blessings


if anyone enter my head again, i go continue ,

@dayokanu, Bayern are re-emerging after a disappointing season last term, ok? Milan had a disappointing local season last term, ok? Real Madrid? Great come back to claim the league but CL, woeful, others were there, ur so called elites. Point is The Leagues in Europe are Improving and sorry, the most hyped is the EPL, yes, most hyped.

I am a dyed in the wool ARSENAL fan but i also know dat the La Liga is the Most Skillful, Serie A, the Most Technical, Bundes Liga, well, physical. who else, Portuguese Liga, just there, same for the other leagues in Europe. Ever asked urself why clubs from England, Spain, Italy and Germany make up the All Powerful G-14 clubs, Global presence. Guese u can't give me a starting line up of a Nigerian Clubside but u can attempt Orlando Pirates or Santos or Kaiser Chiefs in SA. DSTV brought the EPL to our homes before the other leagues woke up, so we are not crazy about the EPL, We were taken there by KANU.

Ok People (Nairalanders), look at the last line from the poster, she is asking, "What do i do?", please advice and not BASH her. Who amongst us can swear we have not had these feelings before? of longing for something beyond our grasp, dat position, dat car, dat ornament? its the same feeling. Guess we were lucky to be removed from the radius of our obsession before damage was done, like getting a new job and easing the feelings b4 kasala burst.

To the young lady, follow your head dis time around, but if u can't, face ur fears. History is full of people with guts, u never know. A problem shared is a problem solved. I believe you wanted to share this badly and u couldn't be caught dead talking about it with your close friends, dats why u sought this faceless forum.

@ Seun, u r one great guy, kip it up!

Aggregated!

@ Nairalanders, sarcacism and wateva will not resolve the issues raised. The bobo dey vex say him guys jabo am, but i have a recipe for that, whenever any of my friends cross border go even Ghana, his contact details are moved to KIV (Keep In View) untill he shows face again, shikena. Stingy man na stingy man, no matter the area. but i hear say UK hard sha!

Just got hooked on Smallville, saw seasons 1 - 6 and still can't get enough. Wonder who the Kents and the Luthors of this world really are. Who is really the bad guy here, Clark Kent with his secret, Lex Luthor with his obsession for anything Clark Kent (including Lana Lang), Lana Lang who is as confused as ever. i really think Clark should forget about Lana and Lex and carry on with his heroics. wat say u?

there can no pirate of the caribbean witout Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy! at the end of Dead Man's Chest, Sparrow was only taken into Davy Jones' Locker to be imprisoned forever, but u can tell dat ain't possible, The gang rescued Jack with the help of Tia Dalma and Captani Barbosa. look it up urself.