₦airaland Forum

@ cabali, if its true that u r frank's brother, den is it rite to say u r the one and only Bassey Mustafa Cabali BMC of Geology Unical class 2000?
cos if u r, i go beat u tire.

@ Tosinadeda & ayefele, e don dooooooooo! una hear? na Faze and 2Face this thread dey about, if i hear pem again from any one of una, na school prefect (Seun ) i go report una to.

Now back to the matter @ hand (english teachers, take note), I love 2Face's last effort, nice delivery, good lyrics, nice music composition, the entire album, yes, good stuff. Dats 2face for me. ok? FAZE, to me, is on another pedestal, to all 2Face lovers, please take time to listen to the complete album, from the intro to the end, listen to letter to my brother, (the reply to the see me so of 2face), Halima, tattoo girl, need sumbody and the ever refreshing KM.

comparing these two musically, listen to the 2face's One love and Faze's Halima and u will understand wat it takes to really play with your voice in a song, listen and decide 4 urself, but i do not expect 2face lovers to be moved anyway.

ciao.

Did my final year seminar on solid and radioactive waste management and disposal and currently processing a start up plan for my elder sister who is interested in it, so if u feel like going into it, feel free to contact me on usiomame@gmail.com, i'd be glad to be of help.

Waste management and disposal is huge, capital intensive but also very profitable and rewarding, more than the Tinubu experience.

As an ex-UBA Staff, i'm not holding brief for them but running through this thread, i 'd like to distinguish between UBA before the Post Consoldation era and the new UBA. The old UBA was lazy, slow but efficient sort of, never in a rush to get customers and but u still got some service out of them. The new Consolidated UBA, headed by Elumelu, on the other hand, wants you to believe they are dynamic, good managers of your funds, upright and the likes that they preach these days in the banking sector, whooooooooooossssssssaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Tony and his gang of cowboys are out to milk the unsuspecting public. I was a marketing staff in the main UBA branch in VI, can u imagine charging customers for withdrawing from their savings account? yes, they say a customer is supposed to withdraw not more than twice a month, any other withdrawal attracts these deductions, i was stunned. and now these deduction u guys are bringing up.

Being a leading bank, i always come down to the banking hall and boy, here u find one big commotion. the issue of ATM cards with UBA branches should be taken up with head office cos the cards issuing system is centralized, slow and painfully , (em, em ,em ,em can get a word for it yet).

We owe it to ourselves and to our fellow nigerians to educate us on issues like dis dat affect our existence within this geographical entity called Nigeria. as they say in Edo state, follow who know road, if u no get head!

You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was!

Brett " the Hitman" Hart - the GOAT ( Greatest Of All Times)

but lesser stars are

- British Bulldog
- HBK
- The Rocky Maiva
- Eugene
- John Cena

but There is dis guy dis dude i really dislike, in short 2,

- The so-called "Legend Killer" Randy Orton & the spineless Edge.

From the Legends,

All join - from Mighty Igor, to Mill Mascaras, to Power Mike down to the Hulster reign, with Ultimate Warrior, Rowdy Piper, Sergeant Slaughter, Nature Boy, Mr. Perfect, the list is endless.

but my all time favorite is still Brett Hart!

how do i migrate to these packages?

Please, please, please can someone tell me which of these so called power parastatals is better? Cos i prefer the old saying, "Up NEPA"! PHCH has failed Nigerians, the days of NEPA - NEP Plc - NEPA are now regarded as those good old days!

Whats ur take, for Naija residents ONLY! Jandons kip off!

will the so called malaria resistant mosquitoes bite? cos if they will still bite, then anoda kasala don blow be dat. See, these days PHCN ( God Bless NEPA) has turned nigerians to sumtin else, with the prevailing heat and lack of Power for DAYS, sleeping outside or wit windows and doors opened wide is the in-thing, who is bothered about mosquites wen all u want is a sound sleep? in short, naijerians are resistant to malariapeddling mosquitoes GBAM!

the all time best movie ever made in the History of Man, according to Hollywood is

GONE WITH THE WIND

Local should be

VIOLATED

carry dat ya pastor come our garage make we show am how to do deliverance, him need to learn.

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had
purchased for her husband a week before.

"What seems to be the problem, madam?"

"I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not
seeing things my way."

These are actual statements taken from Court Records.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________


ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________


ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________


ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________


ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
______________________________________


ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________


ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________


ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________


ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______________________________________


ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh,
______________________________________


ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________


ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________


ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________


ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________


ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________


ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________


ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________


ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
____________________________________________


ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk,
when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the
river. He proceeds to walk into the water and
subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher
turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of
booze. Where upon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to
find Jesus?"

The drunk answers, "Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs
him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and
asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into
the water again but for a little longer this time. He
again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have
you found Jesus, my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."


By this time, the preacher is at his wits end so he
dunks the drunk in the water again --- but this time
he holds him down for about 30 seconds. When the drunk
begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls
him up. The preacher asked the drunk again, "For the
love of God, have you found Jesus?"


The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and
says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he
fell in?"

Make una wait make i grow up first, my mummy will beat me if i contribute. Sleeping with sumone outside wedlock is =(4NIKACION)!

sHIkENA!

Nairalanders sha, una dey yarn, just now just now thread don appear on REV EZEUGO, na wa oh! Me thinks e deserves any punishment he gets, the man is heartless, no remorse, no emotion, no soul. I hear they are appealing against the Judgement, Bayo Ojo should advice Nigerians and d Judiciary on the next step to take ooooo, but me thinks d Appeallant court do justice to the sentence by sentencing him to burning and whipping with Iron Rods. If the burning doesn't kill him, maybe the whippin will.

Ojuelegba strettttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can this a Rule for MEn in RelaLaTIOships wen its littered with Females. Well, thanks for the expose

Hey People, Let Fire Girl catch her Fire! We are all onlookers invited for a peep show the show must go on, she wanted script writers, had a chnge of mind and continued with the show like dat, she knows the real reason(s) why she is quitting, Gut feeling.

Wish i could sit her down and have a word with her, Married Men are NOT IT, flings or not, Most of my friends are married and they flirt more than Bachelors, being married in Nigeria gives u the license to misbehave, so they say, but there are always exceptions to the rule.

There are Brothers out there, sweet, caring, honest, suave, wateva looking for someone but sorry, my sisters are getting perching with Married broses. Well, dats the irony of life. Fire Girl, back off from the scene for some time, say take a casual leave for some days and reexamine your decisions, if u still feel strongly positive about the steps u have decided to take, then U HAVE my BACKING for Life. Afterall its your LIFE to live!

Carry on sooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnn

Seun, are u sure u were not the one about to be lynched? sounds like it!

Fly Nigeria AirWaste and u never come back!

Best Reasons to Allow Drinking on the Job

1. It's an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

7. It helps keep Employees warm during harmattan.

8. It encourages carpooling.

9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.

10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

11. It makes fellow employees look better.

12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of drinks.

14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable

dem girls wit itchy nips should surrender such nips to their respective BOYFRIENDS/HUSBANDS for scrutiny and examination and possible remediation. Una BF/Hussies dey available @ all, dem no dey suck bobi? una men no dey try @ all.

This sms can only be readed by someone SEXY:,
try again,
again,
maybe you are just not sexy?,
one more time,
hey
don't force it
ugly!!!

Was @ Xmas Made in Warri 3 last nite @ MUSON Centre and Bros Richie just dey shine. Him grey hair dey make young men want grow old fast and the bobo still fine. As for his age, Richard is in early 40s, pls note, so for those of u nairalanders wishing for him to grow too old too soon, u will have to wait a little more.

no go! na 419!

mbok, e get on Etem M500 pocket PC wey i pick up for bus stop (i pick am from one person pocket sha )

real gist, how do i get GPRS settings for the above mentioned fone?

"A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson