₦airaland Forum

Kabikala:
My romance with Nigerian columnists

I first became fascinated with newspapers and newsmagazines in my secondary school days when I would stay glued to very old editions of Drum and Spear magazines which were subscribed to by my uncle who lived just next door to us. Daily newspapers such as Times, Sketch, Tribune and Concord were also a delight to read as I became educated on the various tendencies of the politicians of the second republic in their attempt to win the people’s votes. In the process, I succeeded in broadening my horizon compared to my peers as I got to know the meaning of words like “Lilliputian”, ever before reading Gulliver’s Travels. What attracted me to a write-up then was its ability to communicate in a simple and sensible manner to a young mind like mine, and to make interesting reading. (The same reason I loved Cyprian Ekwensi much more than Chinua Achebe). Of course, my experience was shaped considerably by the limited variety of newspapers I had access to as my parents were not literate or buoyant enough to subscribe to newspapers. I had to always rely on my uncle’s supplies, which though not diverse, was regular.
The first column that caught my fancy then was by a writer named Wakabout who wrote for Lagos Weekend, a tabloid that was published every weekend and is usually filled with news of marriage divorces with all the salacious details which usually appealed to less-serious minded folks. I always looked forward to each edition and was really pained when they stopped publishing. I also discovered Sam Akpabot, a professor at the University of Ibadan who maintained a weekly column with the Daily Sketch of which I was a faithful devotee then. His column was actually focused on sports and he made it a point of duty to predict the results of matches to be played by the Green Eagles, as the Super Eagles were called then. He always had very beautiful explanations as to why his predictions did not come to pass; which is more the rule than the exception. And the commonest excuse was that the coach failed to listen to his advice on team selection and technical approach. His fortune-telling skill appears to be rooted on a combination of clairvoyance and knowledge of soccer, though always difficult to know which one formed the more tangible basis for his predictions. In the Nigerian Tribune, I liked reading Tai Solarin’s State of the Nation, Ayekooto by Bisi Onabanjo as well as Periscope.
The first time I read Ndaeyo Uko’s column in the Daily Times, I was so mesmerized and awed by his ability to process humor and satire in beautiful prose. He remained one of my all-time favorite columnists. I felt a sense of loss when his column was no longer featured in the paper as I learnt he left the country abroad for greener pastures.
I had a thing for Doyin Osagie-Okojie’s column titled Lipstick in Vanguard and that was my first experience with a female columnist. Chris Okojie (Doyin’s husband) ran a column titled Outraged on the inside back page of Vanguard newspaper and found an interactive way to discuss sports using combative language; this also piqued my interest. I did not know what happened to both of them as they also seemed to have melted into thin air. Perhaps, they also relocated abroad for a better life. Like Chris Okojie, Ade Ojeikere who was running a similar sports column in ThisDay some years back is a writer I admire for his expressiveness and passion. He recently got back to doing the same for the Nation newspapers.
The late 80s and early 90s witnessed the booming of soft-sell magazines like Prime People, Vintage People, TopLife, Hints, Hearts, Sweetheart and the likes. The next generation of writers I fell in love with were some of the writers in these magazines. I then began to appreciate writers who could bring out interesting perspectives from entertainment, fashion and life generally. Toni Kan who was writing for Hints then thrilled me to no end, but I also admired the writings of Helon Habila, Goke Jaiyesimi and Kayode Ajala. I first came across Reuben Abati through his column in Hints magazine then and he was also one of the writers I admire a lot. May Ellen Ezekiel’s MEE and You column in Classique magazine also thrilled me immensely, and to a lesser extent, RMD’s Adlib column. Among the group of celebrity journals like Fame, Global Excellence, Treasure, City People and Climax (what a name!), I grew to like the writings of Femi Akintunde Johnson (FAJ Live), Mayor Akinpelu, Dele Momodu (Pendulum) and Funke Egbemode.
The period of tyranny under the successive regimes of Buhari, Babangida and Abacha created a lot of psychological challenges for a young person like me seeing oppression face-to-face and being powerless to deal with them. I found succor in columnists who took on the government on behalf of the rest of us. I therefore started becoming less fascinated by style, and became more enamored by substance and abiding principles. It then became difficult for me to enjoy beautiful prose white-washing government’s tyrannical actions or worse still, avoiding having to address them. My search for crusaders drifted my focus to writers who squared it up with government by criticizing unpopular policies and actions of government officials. I was told of the quintessential style of Dele Giwa but could not appreciate him before he was killed as I was only a teenager by then. With the repeated assault on my psyche as a citizen by successive Nigerian governments through various oppressive actions, I gradually began to define my favorite columnists along three streams: those with substance and style, those with substance and less style, and those with style and little substance, a categorization I still use till the present moment.
The first group which represents those I can not do without include writers mainly from the Guardian newspaper stable such as Okey Ndibe (now in The Sun), Sonala Olumhense, Paul Nwabuikwu (before he joined government and disappeared from the radar), Peter Claver Oparah, Luke Onyeakakah, and Levi Obijiofor. Back page columnists in The Nation such as Idowu Akinlotan and Marijata as well as in ThisDay such as Eni-B and Yusuph Olaniyonu also appealed to me. As far as I am concerned, ThisDay’s Simon Kolawole is one of the greatest writers in Nigeria. With his brilliance and unique style, he could, using simple prose, passionately drive home a point. I quite appreciate the humanity in him and would never forget some of his forgivable temperamental outbursts when he described Anyim Pius Anyim as a “mass of protoplasm”, paraphrasing Chuba Okadigbo. Godwin Agbroko was another great columnist I cherished. I always loved Femi Osofisan’s articles the few times he manages to put one up. I liked Joe Igbokwe except on occasions when he was unable to shed his partisan inclination which always beclouds his perspectives on certain matters. Ishaq Moddibbo Kawu of New Nigerian is a grade one writer in my reckoning, and Mohammed Haruna less so.
In more recent times, online writers like Michael Egbejumi-David and Pius Adesanmi also thrilled me with their unique styles. I marveled at the latter’s description of Bode George’s trial as the “Gelefication of corruption”. Such wordsmiths! Mobolaji Aluko, another online writer, does not pretend to be a style-driven columnist, but I enjoy his analytical approach all the same. Aliyu Tilde also strikes a good cord with me. I also rate The Perceptor column in SaharaReporters very highly.
The second group included writers that are generally acknowledged as fine columnists but I have failed to appreciate, try as I might. It included writers like Adebayo Williams who used to write for Newswatch magazine and Edwin Madunagu who still maintains a weekly column with the Guardian. Ijeoma Nwagwuwu who tries to discuss economics on the back page of ThisDay also belongs in this group as is Odia Ofeimun. I am sure there are many more like these writers whose articles I must have come across at one time or the other (like the Newswatch trio) but they just could not strike a chord with me. Perhaps I am a lazy reader. Brilliant writers they apparently must be as acknowledged by others, I just couldn't understand them. Even with extraordinary efforts to digest their writings, I failed to be enticed by their over-intelligent analysis. I guess my IQ just couldn’t cope. These folks struck me by their ability to take government to task on their various policies and actions, or propounding new ideas, but I just could not process and synthesize their writings.
The third category is actually a burgeoning group as I keep adding more columnists from the first group to this group based on my observations that their motives were not always altruistic. I regard them as excellent writers whose writings must be enjoyed, but would not take a chance with assuming that these columnists actually believe all that they preach about. For example, I moved Segun Adeniyi into this category immediately he became Yar’Adua’s mouthpiece and I now tended to look at his past criticism of government actions as a strategy to get attention. I think the right word is Opportunism. Azubuike of the Punch is, in my reckoning, firmly ensconced in this group. Reuben Abati and Dele Momodu script beautiful articles, but I just have found it rather difficult to trust them. They are still hovering on the fringes as I am yet to decide whether they belong here or in the first group and I am actually bidding my time on them. Chidi Amuta of ThisDay relocated here a few weeks back when his devotion to IBB could no longer be disguised. Good writer he is, in my reckoning, but shallow on principles. There is another small category under this group and it includes writers who appeal to me with their peculiar styles but do not address political and governance issues primarily; Onoshe Nwabuikwu (Airtime in ThisDay and later in The Punch newspaper) and the Dear Bunmi problem-solving columnist in The Vanguard.
I will end this piece by going a little off-course. There was this guy in the newspaper industry that I really loved (only God knows where he is presently). Albert Ohams, though not a columnist, was a talented cartoonist with an unbeatable sense of humor. I will never forget one of his cartoons where he depicted an accused person in court being defended by a lawyer. I will try to recount the piece as best as I can.
The lawyer, while pleading his client’s case grabbed him and said,
“My Lord, it is totally unfathomable that this short and tiny man could be accused of defiling this 6 feet tall and very huge woman. Look at his stature, look at his height, even look at his organ, tiny and miniscule”, (the lawyer said, grabbing the man’s focal places).
The accused man whispered to the lawyer,
“Oga Lawyer, softly softly touch my thing o. If the thing wake up penren, we go lose this case o!”

dayokanu:
^^ Me sef o, I use a wheelbarrow, I have been trying hard to get a bicycle even if na Aba made

babs787:
Salam

I just noticed this thread and would like to say that I am missing lots of people here.

Some Musli brothers and Sisters here may not know them but they happened to be the mover of this section and made this section what it is today.

To start with, I am missing Mustay, our former Moderator.

I am also missing the superwomen in the likes of Ayiba 1,Bib, and what of Dominique for their wonderful contributions?

I am missing my sweet brothers: Samba123, Frizy, Firdaus (gave birth in Saudi Arabia couple of months but has not been able to tell the house), Belloti, Littleb,Ibrahim007, Mrcrackels, Olabowale, Mdsocks and those that might skipped my mind in the course of typing names.

May Allah be with you all and grant your heart desires.

Missy B:
Some might be dead, or have personal problems that keep them away from the 'net or just got bored of NL, etcetera. One of these things that made 'em stop using NL, would also make You stop using it, someday.

Roliks09:
We are all quick to make excuses for oyinbo teams when they underperform, but if na SE, they become chicken,snails, tortoises,e.t.c overnyt.
Jabulani? Jabulani ko jabulani ni. Algeria controlled that ball perfectly. They just lacked finishing. And they're kitted by Puma o.
Henceforth, I support the underdogs. It seems the jabulani was designed for them.

davidylan:
I dey kampe. . . bodi still dey inside cloth.

davidylan:
Muslims you mean? I dont remember any christians threatening the mods with death.

Its interesting that the presence of ogaga4luv and the atheists hasnt been a problem. the only ones with the bone to pick has been over-sensitive muslims who then turn around to cry about "peace".

deb:
Am an African and personally I don't like african referees. They make too many questionable calls.
Meanwhile, I think the greater blame should go to FIFA for calling mistakes by officials as part of the game.
I think officiating in football should have advanced beyond the level it is now. It is injustice to allow wrong calls to go un-challenged/reverted
emotions are too attached to this game by the fans than for FIFA to keep doing "siddon look"

The match between Nigeria and Argentina could have ended 0-0 but for the ref who did not spot the infringement on Obasi. How about the cup that Cameroun and Issa Hayatou came to "stea"l in Nigeria right in front of their fans with Victor Ikpeba disallowed goal in the year 2000 African Nation's Cup? Those are just a few out of many.

I Blame FIFA

Candy9:
Hello all my friends here. Hope you are enjoying the world cup! we all keep our fingers crossed for our favourite teams,

Please can you translate this:

Ba wo ni ara e?

Thanks so much and have fun.