₦airaland Forum

Righteousness2:
Why give ur husband or brother your akirt to wear out if u are a lady.
If you are a guy, why not wear skirt.
Continue to Deceive yourself. It's yourself you deceive .When you stand before GOD , you tell him david cut off Saul skirt and so on.

We don't have men's skirt in the market that's the only problem. In somewhere like Scotland where they have nice men's suit and skirt, I'll definitely buy for my husband and brother.

Meanwhile, I hope you don't tie wrapper or towel around your waist cus we all know wrapper belongs to women.

Continue to deceive yourself and chain yourself with man made doctrines.

Even the angels in heaven don't wear trousers, shirt or skirt, everyone there wears a robe. So if you reach heaven, request for trousers for you and skirts for your church members. And when you happen to see people who wore trousers on earth, fling them out of the window of heaven

Righteousness2:
Any society law that goes against God's law should not be obeyed by anyone who is Heavenly Concious.

Acts 5:29
Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.

Daniel 3:16-18
16 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter.
If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.
But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.

Trouser isn't mentioned anywhere in the bible.

Deut 22:30 A man shall not take his father's wife, nor discover his father's skirt.
1Sam 24:5 And it came to pass afterward, that David's heart smote him, because he had cut off Saul's skirt.
Psalm 133 vs 2 It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments;
Lamentations 1:9 Her filthiness is in her skirts; she remembereth not her last end; therefore she came down wonderfully: she had no comforter. O LORD, behold my affliction: for the enemy hath magnified himself.

From the above verses you can see men and women wore skirts in the bible.

Jesus wore robes, the women as well wore robes, was Jesus wearing things pertaining to a woman?
The Scottish men wear skirts even to church, are all Scottish men going to hell? Trouser didn't exist in the bible days till around the 10th century to the 14th century when it was adopted from the Persians by the Roman soldiers for the ease and freedom it gives when they go to war or ride horses. So how can you prove that Deuteronomy was referring to trousers when even Moses wore skirts or robes and same with his wife?

What about the southern men whose traditional attire is wrapper and shirt? Are they all going to hell? Before the colonial masters arrived, how many Africans were wearing trousers?

Deut 22:5 refers to cross dressers not necessarily skirt and trousers.

Doctors, nurses, soldiers, nysc corpers, pilots, factory workers etc are all mandated to wear trousers now. Are they all going to hell? Or perhaps women should stay away from all these professions?

Please stop where the bible says stop. Don't add!

MrBrownJay1:
i fully understand that you (aka a woman) would look down on such method, while many out there dont....but hey, when you are against something, you will try to find any flimsy excuses to dismiss this option. thus why, women like you would rather focus on the sex part than the life you are bringing to this world.

I also understand that you (aka a man) would look forward to such method, while many out there won't... But hey, when you support and look forward to something, you will try to find any flimsy excuses to support it against all logical reasoning. Thus why men like you would rather look forward to having sex with a random woman in the name of "surrogacy" when she can inject the sperm into her with a N50 syringe than focus on the life you are bringing into the world.

Au revoir monsieur

MrBrownJay1:
as i have been telling you since the beginning of this discussion, having sex with the surrogate is ONE WAY that is used by some surrogates therefore, you can come up with whatever IFs, BUTS and MAYBEs that you desire, but at the end of the day, some parents/surrogates do go the "sex with surrogate" route.... as stated above. EOD!!!

I'm not disputing that it's an option, I'm only telling you that it's a very risky and more expensive method. And saving costs won't make anyone chose this option but the selfishness of sleeping with another woman

I love the fact that she's trying to instill discipline in him. If every parent instills good values in their kids, there'll be hope for the next generation

MrBrownJay1:
it is obvious, after reading the above, you are totally clueless about SURROGACY, here, educate yourself on the issue on the link below (focus on the TRADITIONAL SURROGACY definition):
https://www.sensiblesurrogacy.com/what-is-surrogacy/

I added the screenshot here. I love the definition by the way. It's obvious that having sex with the surrogate isn't the only way to impregnate the surrogate, the sperm could be injected into the vagina not uterus just like you "inject" a tampon into the vagina or cervix lips with a syringe (without needles abeg). Syringes cost like N50 or N100 and boycotts the cheating + emotional risk part. (Legality and costs to pay the woman herself still remain depending on the situation)
That reminds me, women who buy sperm and impregnate themselves at home do it this way

I maintain that anyone thinking only of having sex with the surrogate is selfish because apart from the idea of having sex with another woman, there's no incentive here for the couple.
It's more expensive because the woman is literally donating her own child and warming your bed for as long as necessary which could be a while.
It's also the most risky option legally as the surrogate is the biological mother and she can't sign off her parental rights until the child is born (after which she can legally change her mind and the father will still be legally mandated to pay her child upkeep for the next 18yrs).
If the extra expenses and the legality aren't an issue, what about the emotional risk? Assuming it takes the surrogate a month or two to get pregnant, can you swear that you both won't be catching feelings after the repeated smashing?

Adoption is the cheapest means to getting a child if you're looking to cut costs.

Bearing in mind that some may women volunteer to be surrogates for free for someone they know, I asked you to give one example of a woman who will volunteer to be a surrogate to someone by having sex with him, giving birth to the child and signing off her parental rights to the child and stay away forever from the child's life ALL FOR FREE. You're yet to do that.

MrBrownJay1:
who is even claiming that people are doing it for sex...?!?!? they are simply having sex because ITS CHEAPER THAN INSEMINATION (which cost 10s of thousands of dollars), duh!



i understand that you (a woman) would be selfish into thinking about the sexual part involved, instead of the main aim here, which is to have a child.
here is a clue: if you were infertile and broke, then chances are, you would have NO OPTION but to have a child through that cheap way (aka having sex with surrogate), rather than look for 10s of thousands of dollars. now yes, not all surrogate want to have sex with the father, but sadly, many do because they are getting money from being a surrogate! the positive point here is that the husband and wife wont have to pay for the insemination, duh!

If the woman is broke, is the husband broke too?

Please artificial insemination doesn't cost 10s of thousands of USD. At least here in Nigeria, these procedures start from 800k -5m or even more depending on the circumstances and the hospital.

Many of these couples celebrating triplets and quadruplets after many years used various fertility procedures which involves artificial insemination so stop making it sound like it's millions of naira.

Egg donors are paid 50-200k per session depending on the hospital and her genetics and a session produces at least 4 eggs, some have documented the process here on nairaland so you can search.

Surrogacy fee starts from 1m (apart from pregnancy related expenses including hospital bills, accomodation and feeding) for a gestational surrogate. Adoption costs 150k - 500k only.

Don't tell me that it's cheaper to get a woman do everything the gestational surrogate is doing plus being the egg donor and signing off her rights to her own biological child. When she can simply refuse the arrangement and sue for monthly child support for the next 18yrs. Any woman will charge at least 2m if she's being nice and up to 5m cus she has all the bargaining chip.

Until the surrogate signs off her rights over that child, that child belongs to the surrogate and the husband, where does that leave the wife? What will convince a woman to sign off that child if not lots of money? Because if you don't pay her, she can still get you to pay legally...

MrBrownJay1:
again, surrogacy is the act of a woman carrying a child for someone else....and whether it is for money or for free, is IRRELEVANT to the issue at hand. you are so far away from the issue, that you believe that polygamy is remotely the same as (or a solution to) surrogacy.

here is a clue: polygamy is a couple who cant have children on their own, bringing ANOTHER WIFE to the picture (aka infertile wife would still not be a mother)...while surrogacy is a couple who cant have children on their own, bringing A CHILD to the picture (thanks to a woman borrowing her womb) thus the infertile wife would be a mother.

a man who (has an infertile wife) going for a second wife, is a selfish man who only cares about himself, because he could adopt if having a child is such an issue, but AS I STATED EARLIER, people want to have their own biological children, thus why they go through surrogacy.

Summary: There's no reason why any woman will volunteer her egg, womb, body (for sex) and eventually her child for any reason outside money or marriage.

If money is already in the picture, why not make it a gestational surrogacy instead of having repeated sex with her. The thought of having sex with a surrogate to save some money is a selfish reasoning from the man's part because at the end, the woman will have to paid more for donating her own egg and giving up her biological child. So no savings at the end. Only lust to have sex with another woman.

Sweet dreams

MrBrownJay1:
NEWSFLASH millions are doing it, and it all depends on A) the state of mind of the would be parents, B) their finances and C) why the surrogate wants to do it. each and every surrogacy plan is different. sometimes its the mother who is infertile sometimes both parents, sometimes it is to help a friend/family member etc....and no matter how you want to look at it, the EASIEST way to do it is for the husband to have sex with the surrogate.

assuming that every surrogate does it for money AND/OR every would be parents have money, is far from the truth!

Millions practice polygamy as an alternative for children when the first wife is infertile. That's not news, that's not in ideal "surrogacy"

No woman close enough to do it for FREE will agree to have sex with the man. Like the mother acting as surrogate for her son, will she agree to have sex with her son?
Outside monetary compensation and or marriage, give me ONE reason why a woman will have sex with a man, get pregnant for him, deliver the child and gift him the child. Just one example is all I need sir.

MrBrownJay1:
...for a family who has an infertile wife and want to have a surrogate, but dont have the means to pay for it...thats the PERFECT SETTING!
the only difference here is that the surrogate is the biological mother of the child... and most of the times, they have no issues with going through the surrogacy, as planned.


the above is very funny...because if thats how you feel, then why dont you say the same thing about any other parent out there who are paying thousand of $$ to surrogates?!?! the reason for this is because these people want to have a BIOLOGICAL CHILD OF THEIRS, whether its with just father sperm and/or father's sperm and mother's egg.

It's not perfect anything. In Nigeria this scenario is called SECOND WIFE and it's never perfect for the barren first wife.

I still maintain, will the man happily let his wife hoe around to be pregnant if he were the infertile one?

There's something called common sense and whatever is worth doing is worth doing well. Many women will sell their eggs for 50-100k here in Nigeria and artificial insemination starts from 1.5-2m. A really cheaper option is adoption. May not be biologically yours but it's legally yours forever, no drama, no home breaker.

You can't not want to do surrogacy and not want to pay/spend a dime and not expect trouble. Why will I carry a child for 9months and give it up? Only my blood relative can make me do that and there's no way I will consider it outside artificial insemination. NEVER.

So if I were to do donate my own egg and be a surrogate and it'll have to be by s*x then he must not be someone close to me in any way because things will never be the same after that. Even seeing the child grow etc, I'll have a strong bond with it etc. And if they're not close enough for inconveniences, why on earth will I do it for free for a stranger?

Only the pay can convince any woman to do that and it has to be a good amount unless she has an ulterior motive already. That's the only way she'll agree come and get f*cked silly, carry the child, deliver it and walk away and that's why they either run away with the child or stay and try to scatter the marriage and kick out the barren wife.

MrBrownJay1:
thats also not true... many women out there are surrogates for their friends etc, FOR FREE. also, many mothers are becoming surrogates to have children for their own children, for free... and although they dont have sex with their children, they gladly get inseminated with their egg/sperm. check the thread below on exactly this issue (aka a grandmother carrying her son's child via insemination):
https://www.nairaland.com/7346748/grandmother-reveals-she-pregnant-own

Whoever is close enough to want to be your surrogate for free will definitely not want to have s*x with your husband.

A random woman pops up wanting to be with your surrogate for FREE and wanting to sleep with your husband to make it totally free, you too will agree? Lol... Where will she be staying while the natural insemination takes place? How many times will they have to go at it? What's the proof she'll donate the child for free and disappear for free as well?

MrBrownJay1:
you are absolutely right about what most people who want to get into surrogacy should do, but again, there are a lot of people out there who are either infertile and/or too broke to pay for the insemination procedure thus rather simply have sex with surrogate mother, as it is technically FREE. remember, poor people too want to have kids.

It's not totally free as the woman also has to be heavily compensated. Awoof dey purge belle. Such arrangements still exposes them to paternity fraud from the surrogate and could very easily turn to polygamy.

If they can't afford gestational surrogacy, adoption is a much easier option. There are even children in dicey situations you can adopt for almost zero.

MrBrownJay1:
again, not everyone has the FINANCIAL MEANS to have a surrogate inseminated (it costs 10s of thousands of dollars) so, many surrogates simply have sex with the father in a TRADITIONAL SURROGACY setting.
again SURROGACY is a woman getting pregnant and/or carrying a child for another person, and how that person gets pregnant (and/or whose child she is carrying) is irrelevant to the act of surrogacy.

That's a very foolish arrangement. It's equivalent to the woman going out to find a man to get her pregnant cus her husband has low sperm count.
If they have money to pay a surrogate, why not simply adopt? And save you the drama and blackmail that ensues 70% of the time

tishbite42:
Another pesin carry pikin for 9 months
Khloe still dey lie down for hospital bed!!! Doing what exactly?!

She has to be prepped so she can breast feed the child

MrBrownJay1:
he is the only one from that pic that never changed.... he was chubby then, and he is chubby now.



surrogacy can also be that the husband has sex with surrogate mother. many prefer that way which is CHEAPER than insemination.

The man having sex with another woman with an arrangement to forfeit the child isn't surrogacy. Maybe you can call it arranged pregnancy or whatever.

In surrogacy, the egg belongs to the woman as well so the surrogate simply acted as an incubator for the biological mother and father. In surrogacy, you get to determine the gender of the child as well as some other genetic factors before it's implanted in the surrogate mother.

If your father has erased you from his life, why are you catching feeling over dumping his name?

If taking your mother's name will give her some joy for the sacrifice she's making on you and your sibling's life, what's the big deal?

If she decides to walk away from you and go find her own life since you're his daughter afterall, I hope you'll be happy.

Name you'll still change when you get married. LOL

Don27tiky:
were you counted? I wasn’t
Like I said earlier and all those are just to make the woman feel good. I know many ladies around me who are currently in depression because of lack of a man. My own sister is one of them and I do recommend things like this for her to read just to brighten up her mood.
The Bible can never lie. What is written there will sure come to pass . And smart people are preparing such feel good stats and theories to keep those in that category happy. And I happy it is making you happy too

Isaiah 4 vs1 is a continuation of Isaiah 3 ending not a future prophecy

Same with me, I came to nairaland expecting to read comments on the topic only to see Obi this and Obi that. Something that has been trending on Twitter. If I was ever doubting the nairaland's bias, this saga has cleared those doubts

Story has been updated

She should collect leave from her office (try as much as possible to make it a long leave). A month plus if possible.
Go home and tell her husband that she has been sacked and her last salary wasn't paid infact her account has been restricted pending investigation from the office.

Let him fund his lifestyle with that 50k. Hardship has a way of curing certain madness.

I think Dr Elvis has made money, now he wants the fame.
Maybe he's eyeing politics in no distant time.
Otherwise I see no reason for this news. But if my hunch is right, let's get ready to know more about Dr Elvis in the coming days.
See the garage of Lagos billionaire
Meet the wife and pretty daughter of oil mogul
Dr Elvis steps out for father's day
Dr Elvis gifts orphan boy Prado jeep

Happy birthday to him all the same.

Are cities from Ukraine, Afghanistan, Yemen, Myanmar, Nepal, Thailand, Palestine, Libya, Somalia, Mali, Central African Republic etc on that list? Cus I refuse to believe that any of these countries are ranked above Nigeria on grounds of terrorism.

Oh, I remember now, their leaders won't agree with such a report and Will do everything it takes to rank their country higher to give their country a good image.

Maybe if it was Niger that was ranked 171 out of 172, our leaders would have been concerned.

@Regardless
Life's not fair. To me, the most likely thing to happen is the husband demands the first child be given to her biological father. While he reconciles with the wife after he confirms that the other two kids are his especially if she has been a good wife since he married her, but even at that there will be cracks that will take years to fade. The wife may still give birth to one or two for him to makeup for the first child.

As for the girl, her life will never be the same. Her father will go to jail sooner than later and all his I'll gotten wealth will evaporate. His mother did a poor job raising him and I don't expect her to do a better job with this girl either. However the girl maybe a "destiny" child and may manage to turn out well (that's after several mistakes that may leave scars on her). If your friend is as dangerous as you say, what if his old rivals come back to settle scores using her as a collateral? Abi na wetin make am run commot for naija? Sha she won't thank you for turning her life upside down.

For you, you seem to have a conscience, I think you'll most likely find yourself picking up after that girl when her biological family disappoints her cus you know you put her in that shit yourself. This may put a strain on your own finances or marriage cus your wife may not share the same emotional burden and she no wan hear say woman like her dey shorten her ration.

In all, I still don't see the girl having a father daughter relationship outside her new surname unless the father does a 360° turn around. Your friend asked the girl to abort and they artemped it severally but it didn't work. I don't know how he intends to look that girl in the eye later on. He tried to kill her, that didn't work then he ruined her chances if a bright life, funny how her own father will be her problem.


There was a story of a boy who suspected that his father wasn't his biological father and the father was about to do a DNA on all of them. He opened a thread here praying the father won't do the test. He knew his life will turn upside down, infact he didn't want to go home again. He was barely a graduate and his father already had plans to send him to the USA before the DNA stuff came out. Without his father's support, all his dreams seemed to evaporate.

Just mind your business.

It's well.

Richy4:
<<U are making me the devil's advocate and it's not nice

<<When there are trust issues in a relationship, even if u like, explain how heaven was made with good evidence, someone who doesn't trust you will never trust you..

<< I believe that Sandra gave an explanation on how the Icecream money came about but due to trust issues, John wasn't buying what she was selling to him...and Sandra knowing the kind of man she married cannot kill herself just because the John refused to believe her because of his difficulties in trusting...

If there's no trust in a relationship, it's as good as dead... Some people naturally have trust issues and it's the worst set of people any sane individual can encounter because they will drive the person insane..

Sometimes though I ask myself, is online world different from offline world? Because I know lots of people who can help friends genuinely... If they get here online, do they act differently? It seems I am the only one who doesn't see anything wrong with giving loosed change to a friend's family whom Everyone knows traveled out.. it's weird

Exactly, osama2478 sounds very very suspicious. For my husband to suspect me to that level is very very bad. Imagine ordering your wife to pickup her call while you're on a call with her.

Snooping through her phone and even credit alerts. If his wife puts a password on her phone, that will be enough evidence to divorce her . He must have checked her chats and even social media and the only thing he found was that alert.

I think the lady and his friend got closer after he left but due to his attitude, she didn't tell him such information make the marriage no scatter. I know many women like that, they even have to hide their dream from their husbands that reads meaning into everything even the kind of dream they have.

Chances of her cheating is 20%, chances of osama2478 being paranoid is 80%.

Mention one thing we use our naira to produce locally...

Rich in Africa doesn't always mean rich outside Africa.
Rich in Nigeria could be middle class or less in the USA.
Rich people in the western countries have perks too.
Do you know the places certain VIP cards will allow you enter in the USA?

Antihypocrite:
I have been married for 3 years now, I have known my wife for 5 years altogether. She was and is still the best thing that ever happened to me.

Last month I tried to even get a security job that pays 25k monthly. But I feel so discouraged to do the job. How long will I work to clear a loan of 320k that keeps adding interest daily.

Thoughts of suicide have been crossing my mind today. I really need help

What can I do? I don't even have the energy to pray. Has anyone ever been in my shoes? If yes how did you come out?

1. The loan companies have done their worst, there's NOTHING ELSE they can do. The worst part is that even if you clear their loan 100% today, they won't send a message to anyone to tell them that you aren't a criminal, even if they promise you that they'll do that, it's a lie, they won't do shit.

2. The interest cannot keep accumulating beyond 2-3weeeks.

3. They don't have the power to arrest you or sue you cus they have aren't recognized by CBN. The only thing they can do is what they have done. The loan doesn't even reflect on your BVN cus they are not licensed banks . Do you know how much it will cost them to hire police to come and arrest you? At least 50k - 80k and it's still not certain that they will get the money so it's not worth it for them forget about all their threats.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/punchng.com/commission-freezes-over-30-accounts-of-illegal-loan-companies/%3famp
https://www.dw.com/en/nigeria-cracks-down-on-digital-loan-sharks/a-61347733

4. The only debt you should be worried about is that of your friends. Go to each friend and explain everything that has happened, and tell them you have a new job but you can't afford to pay back at once but you will make monthly installments.

5. As sad as your wife leaving is, it may even be a blessing, at least no worrying about feeding her and the kids so you can save that money towards clearing the debts you owe your friends.

6. Avoid that account and ATM you used to apply for that loan cus they can still be attempting to debit it even after several months. Get a new account and ATM, don't worry, they don't have the ability to see your other bank accounts, neither do they have the right to debit your other accounts. Like I said, they're not registered with CBN.

7. Now you have to be very very particular about saving, save and pray, save and pray. God will make ways for you to earn extra 1k or 2k on the side but keep praying and keep saving like crazy, every month pay a friend a deposit. In the next 3months or so, things won't seem so bad and when you go back to your wife say in 3 months time or so, and she sees the efforts you have made in repaying your friends, she sef go wan come back. But keep in touch with her sha. Also, if they ask you, tell them that a good Samaritan has repaid the loan you owed the loan company... Nobody will know if you're lying or not.

Best of luck

nwajesus12:
they are too dramatic, cries over silly things and blames the guys alot

Lol, that's why they're this relevant after almost two decades of showbiz. They're experts in managing their public image.

They take their image highly seriously, they attend classes on how to cry, laugh, smile, walk etc to maintain the perfect public image.

xevove2061:
forget that family is cursed. That gurl don date more than 20men wey we even sabi. you know wetin e be for 20 pricks to don sample that toetoe? *spits*. As a man, if you are not spiritually fortified, those girls for that family go bring you down. its not ordinary abeg

I have heard about Kardashian curse but I refuse to believe it. We can clearly see where they missed it.
But on the opposite, dating any man will instantly skyrocket his fame and also his wealth. They're easily the most popular family in the world and they say there's nothing like bad publicity.

Sampling of pr***s...

If only Kanye will be serious with Chaney Jones. I don't know why the Kardashian women find it hard to keep a relationship. The only one who tries is Khloe and funny enough, all she's been getting is cheating

She's obviously trying to cool her head/brain, I'm worried about her mental health.

So are there only 109 players in the NBA?

Happy to still see there are about 10 out of 109