₦airaland Forum

Persistency is the key, you have to persistently tag people who can help you. You can even go to the IG office at Abuja to file conspiracy against food concepts and the police with all these evidences you have and you might just be lucky, someone might just have pity on you and help you transfer the case to Lagos at least on medical grounds.

Now it's cheaper for you to attend court hearings and it's harder for them to not appear in court. Lagos judges are more difficult to bribe than other states. Infact, the case should have been struck out by now after they failed to appear twice without a convincing reason. That shows your judge is compromised.

Go to Twitter, persistently bug all the big names even the president, minister etc. Someone will help. Imagine if you've been bugging them everyday since 2018, they'll either have helped you or blocked you. One must happen. IG of police is there, celebrities are there, AIG is there, governors are there etc. Just be persistent.

chigoizie7:
This is not a team foreign women thing, he probably married her in naija then took her abroad.

Proof sir

Kingcalls:
She is actually Nigerian girl that he brought to usa

How did you conclude this sir ?

movedup:
My partner and i have been traditionally married for 10 years without proper documentation or marriage license. We have 3 children together but apart from their birth certificates and our bank statement as proof of our relationship, there is nothing else.

He has been offered a full sponsored tier 2 visa to the U.K and we have been asked to submit 6 documents each as proof of residence and all I have to proof my residence with him in the same house is only my driver's license. I am a stay at home mom. what do we do?

thank you

1. Use your electricity bill or rent receipt to go to the bank and change your address (if it isn't the current address already, use a Bank letter or statement of account as the proof of address)

2. What about your voters card? It should carry your address, either the temporary card or the permanent one.

3. Sworn affidavit from the court

4. Attestation letter from your LCDA office. Should state the duration of stay in the community and also state you're of a good behaviour.

5. Do you have a Lasrra certificate? You can go to their office and register for one, it's instant and usually bears the address.

6. I assume the rent receipt bears your husband's name but I think if you talk to your landlord and pay some money, he will be willing to write a letter attesting that you are resident in his apartment for Bleep years, married and live with your kids etc on his letter headed paper preferably or notarized in court for more authenticity.

Best of luck.

bukatyne:


You should have left the other guys on the thread in their delusions.

That's why I love reality; you can't wish it away with useless theories.

Women and men have weaknesses and strengths given to them by nature; no amount of wishing away through useless theories (let me choose peace and not mention them ) would change anything.

Study your gender, know the strength nature has given you and leverage on it. Also study the weakness and mitigate against it.

The ones you can't mitigate, accept your fate and move on.

I am tired of watching them live in fool's paradise so I decided to burst their bubble .
None has quoted me to dispute the gender ratio Rotflmao . They're still in shock

Humans would always want companionship as they get older but when the chips are down, loneliness hits men more than it hits women. But because true love is scarce, people are now seeking true love in an offspring. This is where the women win the game.

I always said it that the next 10yrs will be interesting.
The first man after being alone for years decided it was better to die with Eve than live alone forever. Some people think they are wiser than Adam and the female gender is only good for hookup or producing babies. Limao.

Isaiah 4:1 isn't a future prophecy. It has already been fulfilled. It is a continuation of Isaiah 3:25-26
Isaiah 3: 25
Thy men shall fall by the sword, and thy mighty in the war.
Isaiah 3: 26
And her gates shall lament and mourn; and she being desolate shall sit upon the ground.
Isaiah 4: 1
And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.
******************************************

Currently, male population vs female population is 52:48 (google is your friend before you start arguing). For Isaiah's prophecy to happen, it should be 14:86 (1 man to 7 women or more even).

Husbands are scarce, men are not scarce. Same way wives are more scarce but women are not scarce.

UyaiIncomparabl:
What's even special about these diasporan guys that they start behaving like mini gods? I don't even rate most of them. They always feel every girl out there wants to use them as a means to an end when no even send you.

If you like, be the son of Donald Trump, if I no rate you, I no rate you. If I were you, I would break up with him because he's a time waster, disrespectful and feels too important.

I don't rate them at all.
Chat me up with a foreign number and I'll leave you on read for at least 3days first.
The serious ones among them are usually the ones that have failed marriages to Oyibo women. But me I definitely don't want any evening newspaper / left over man .

Iamyemmie:
What’s all this bayi ��‍♀️��‍♀️��‍♀️

Ignore these bitter folks here abeg. They're toxic and looking for where to dump their frustration.

Back to your question, I suggest you break up with the guy. A guy with that mindset won't respect you in marriage. Let him marry women abroad or go to the American embassy and look for women who have been issued a visa.

For him to open his mouth to tell you that, my dear, run oooo. He has said worse behind you, he's most likely keeping in touch for free sex whenever he's back in the country so that he can add it to the things he'll brag about to his fellow toxic men.

Lest I forget, you were not wrong one bit for rejecting the proposal of someone you barely met for 3months. Any normal person will do the same. Infact if you had accepted his proposal immediately, they'll still blame you for jumping into a relationship with a man you barely know. So him taking it personal shows who he really is. You might be attracted from day 1 but you have to give each other time to really know what you're getting into and if he has a problem with that, he has many more problems you don't want to get involved in. This type of man will want a woman to follow his every decision blindly like a sheep even into the pit.

Love you sis

Maggi85:
I dont get him. Is he just testing me? Is marrying me a way to secure himself so he can stay in norway? is getting another child also the reason for getting more years in Norway? He can save a lot of money when he lives like he does now. Not paying much. If he lived alone in Norway renting an apartment, he would have to pay around 10 000 a month , and the child costedy around 4000. So 14 000 a month. Now he pays 3-5000 a month..

And also maybe he will not get to stay in norway according to rules.

What would you do? Show him the door?

Thank you for listening to my story

Really sorry to hear about all these. I love people who let go of the prejudice and stereotype to give people a chance but I hate it when such people get burnt so I will be as honest with you like you're my blood sister.

YOU'RE BEING USED BY HIM. I'm 99.9% sure about this. He has plans and you're not a part of it. He will care for your child if you were not able to do so maybe due to sickness or God forbid even death. He loves her though he isn't spending now because he sees you doing everything already so he's using his funds to secure his future which most likely won't involve you.

It's best for you to walk away from him now and stop him using you but I think that when you want to call it quits, he'll try everything to convince you to stay, he will even put on a new leaf, take you to church to convince you that he's not hiding anything, even tell his Nigerian family to call and send gifts, increase his contribution but I really doubt he means it. He's simply buying time to get what he wants. Maximum a year or two, he'll put up a bad attitude so that you'll divorce him and he can be free to move on with someone else (with his Norwegian papers).

Really sorry about your experience, I wish you find true love

Mindlog:
Have your child given out by being adopted legally and no one will arrest you but sell the child or dump the child and get recognized, you are not going scot free and that is my summary.

How can you prove she she sold was financially or otherwise compensated for an adoption?

Mindlog:
Once it is established a child is not safe with the biological parents, the child is removed from them, even those arrested by the Nigerian police for selling their babies, those children are never given back to them as they end up in prison while the baby the ends up in a motherless babies home and the biological parent(s) never access to them again.

What I am establishing is that she can't sell the baby or dump the baby outside an orphanage and when found out, will go scot free because she doesn't want the child. The child will not be forced on either parent if assessed they are not fit but they wouldn't escape arrest if found out to have sold the baby.

Lol, I'm already tired of giving you 1001 reasons why nobody can force a woman to care for a child she doesn't want even if it's her own biological child.

Lest I forget. There's absolutely no law on earth that will convict a woman for arranging to have her child adopted. And nobody can prove that she received a monetary compensation if they chose to do it codedly and keep it out of any agreements signed. Prove me wrong.

If a married father repeatedly refuses to take the responsibility of that child, he can't hold the woman accountable for giving the child up for adoption either. And if she relocates, he should do DNA for all the children in the world to find the child.

Mindlog:
Nothing you posted here is new to me as this my field of specialty.

She owes the State an explanation of where the baby is, reason when it ends up in court it will listed the State vs (name of the mother).

And you think a DNA test can not be conducted on a dead child to establish if she birthed the dead child? When the result proves she isn't the mother, how will she explain her access to the corpse of the child (criminal case loading).

Haven't you read several stories of the Nigerian Police arresting couples who have sold their babies, based on your reasoning it is no body's business.

As long as she has been clinically assessed to be mentally stable, she is obligated to nurture their child while the father makes provisions and when the child is of reasonable age depending on the developmental milestones achieved she can give custody to the father and move on with her life.....there are possible consequences of being sexually active with persons one is not in a committed relationship with.

The child comes FIRST.

Lol, you can't force anyone to nurture anyone. Big lie. Even in the western society, a child will be taken away from a negligent mother and placed in the system. In Nigeria, LM4ao, No body cares about one child that was first rejected by its father. I don't know which imaginary society you're talking about. So if the mother goes missing or relocates and changes her name, they'll stage a manhunt for her and carry the child to meet her. Lol

The moment that man rejects that child, that's the end of the road for it.

Mindlog:
The baby is already exposed to the world and can't just disappea without questions be asked.

If she refuses to breastfeed she can be institutionalized in a mental facility citing mental breakdown and a risk to the baby, while the baby with the arrangement of the father be placed in a holding home for vulnerable children (mind you not motherless babies home) because the baby may not be safe either with the man's bride.

The child is the victim of all these

You want to hear something bad from me and you're about to hear it.

1. She doesn't owe anyone an explanation on the whereabouts of a child they don't want either & if at all by some strange chance they get a court order for her to produce the child, she'll point them to the orphanage and if the child gets rejected by the orphanage after they realise she's the mother, the person should be ready to take the child home because she's obviously not ready for that.

2. If nobody want the child but are interested in the whereabouts of the child and thereby forcing the child on the woman, she can report herself as not being in the right frame of mind to care for the child so they can take the child away from her indefinitely or till any day she decides to look for it.

3. If that won't work, she can sell it to a couple that needs a child and arrange for a dead baby to claim the child died of natural causes. Now everybody can rest.

Summary: You can't force a woman to take care of your shit after she was kind enough not to abort it. She doesn't want it means, she doesn't want it.

In another thread, men were bashing a girl that aborted her boyfriend's pregnancy and calling her a murderer. Now this one didn't abort it but you want to further ruin her life by forcing an unwanted child and stamping the seal of "after one" on her.
It's not happening.

Mindlog:
The baby is neither motherless nor fatherless as they are both known and alive, so the baby is not eligible to be accepted there l

The man and his baby mama will have to work out a co-parenting arrangement for the baby who is a product of 2 irresponsible adults.

Lol, how can the orphanage prove that the father and mother are alive?
What if she drops it in a carton at the orphanage's door before anyone comes?
Let's imagine that they manage to find out that the child's parents are alive and they return the child to it's mother, will you force her to breastfeed a child she doesn't want ?

Mindlog:
Reason, the baby should remain with the birth mother while the father makes provision their child.

She's not ready to be a mother. She chose not to abort the baby which is commendable but she can't be forced to be a baby mama. If the ma returns the child, she should take it to a Govt Approved Motherless Baby's home. Shikena

Mindlog:
That is if she will agree to take care of the child because she is not obligated when the biological mother is still alive. Why should she start her motherhood journey taking care of a child not biologically hers while the birth mother cruise her life?

If she refuses to take care of the child, that's her choice. But she should choose not to maltreat the child as well

I hope the new wife doesn't maltreat the baby

Kobojunkiee:
I am at loss here as to what advice you really want from us here. Do you expect us to advice you to rape her or something?

If you can't wait for her then get the fk out of her life. Na by force for you to date her?

A taya o

Are these copycats or is this a grand scheme being played out?

These men are simps

It's better to spend a day or two to get your PVC than to spend another 4 or 8yrs regretting bad leadership

Tribalism won't work on this election. Hunger knows no tribe.
Guys refuse to like or share any post with derogatory names against any region. We must take back our country from tribalism and nepotism.

Df

Cyntie55:
Why are countries not sanctioning Ukraine? Please note I'm not supporting Russia, but both countries are destroying innocent lives and properties.

So, why sanctioning only Russia, and portray Ukraine as Saint? If you claim Ukrainians are defending her mother's land, so do you expect Russians to be looking like mumu? They should sanctions both countries.

Let's say No to war.

Belarus joined military alliance with Russia and that placed Russian missiles on the doorstep of 3 NATO members. Did NATO invade Belarus?

Putin has been building up military presence on the ukrainian border for almost 1yr (since 2020 ending). So if you were Zelensky and aa country that invaded and annexed Crimea in 2014 begins to build up war tanks up to a level that can invade several cities at once, what will you do? Who will you run to for help? Your enemy who said you're supposed to be his territory? Or the enemy of your enemy?

If really Putin attacked because Ukraine considered joining NATO, now that Ukraine has announced that they won't consider joining NATO anymore, why hasn't he pulled out of Ukraine?

Why did Putin demand total demilitarization?(Collapse of all military infrastructure owned by Ukraine in Ukraine). Why should a man who has robbed your house before demand that all gates, locks and padlocks must be removed from your house? If it were you will you agree?

Everything I posted here, google and read it up first before you reply. Let me learn from you. And if you're wrong, be bold enough to accept it too

Kolenda:
Op, I salute your courage to write this down!
I guess the message I am trying to pass to everyone is never to do things because others are doing it. Grace differs.
Here you are with your kids, but where are they?
Kudos to you for writing this down. I hope it gets to those it should. My regards to your kids!!!

Oga please those comments about his kids aren't necessary. Is it because he opened up here?
Learn your lessons from the story and move on. It pleased the Almighty to give him a family and children and spare his life till this day. Case closed.

Nobody's opinion matters.

Oyinmiebiagric:
I get small time today, make I respond to some people.

Kolenda, do you expect me to go to Kelechi family and tell them,I was the one that told boys how to get your son,and give them the names of the guy that ran the package. The man go clap for me abi say old things have passed away?

Or I should go and tell Ndidiamaka parents, its because of me your son and daughter are not alive today.. They will do thanksgiving for the revelation.

I should tell Amos parents that I was the one that took your son to the ground and he died there.

My friend wisdom they say is profitable to direct. I have left every and anything cultism. The fear I get alone when I see someone jump down from the bike close to me,or you are walking towards me and opening your bag or putting your hands near your beltline,is enough punishment I face everyday.

We no talk of the one wey person go call you for business, but because you no sabi am,you go turn am down.

The fear of your children going your way is enough reason for me to restitute to myself. What if my child ends up like me? Mostly this one wey my first son carry all my qualities. Guy I have moved on with my life and I am just sitting down and looking for the day I will die,but until then,I will tell you the reason why I chose to write this down. I greet everybody.

Please ignore certain people with their own opinions on what qualifies you for God's forgiveness. Christ said go and sin no more. You didn't commit more than King Manasseh in the Bible but God forgave him. This epistle alone is a form of restitution in itself. Please ignore certain comments and try to not talk about your family or current situation. It isn't important.

Crimpsy:
what a nice advice

Never knew a girl can advice a fellow girl like this

Thumbs Up

Awwwwn, thanks for the compliment
I really think other ladies in my shoe will do the same (in my shoe o).

Stargurl20:
Thank u so much. U spoke like a sister.

I see you as a sister and I know the amount of lies that flies about. The bad girls won't tell you the truth because they want you to be like them, the good girls your age may not be experienced enough to tell you facts but I have been there and seen everything. Believed some stupid lies that nearly got me raped by some desperate guys.

That brings me to another advice for you, avoid being in any place that has a bed or any place that is too private (a place where you can have up to 10 minutes without anyone seeing you or walking past), don't believe that you guys will rent a hotel room just to gist ooo .

If you have private questions, send me a PM here, love you so much

Stargurl20:
Even u men are confused. You don't want a good gurl

I hope you listen to me because I used to think like you when I was your age.

Now I'm much older and wiser too. My darling, it pays to be a good girl but the benefits of being good won't come now, Lai Lai, it will come years later at least in 4yrs time.
I will give you a few examples:
1. You can boldly tell your daughter how you made every dime, nothing to be ashamed of.
2. An amazing relationship with God, no guilt when you're praying and you'll even notice your prayers begin to work like magic
3. Men will chase you, the good, the bad, the rich, the poor etc. See the guys around you now aren't ready for commitment so they're avoiding you cus they know you can't be their hoe so they're taking their gifts to the girls that will open legs for them. (If you were a guy and looking for a lady to be banging steadily, will u go to the good girl who doesn't joke with her body or will u go for the bad girl u heard knows how to whine very well?)
4. A woman's body is like a flower petal, manhandle it and see it wrinkled. If you see how these f*ck boys squeeze the br**sts of the girls they're banging ehn, 1week the br**st don turn to slippers, everything don gel . These guys will go and buy Viagra and use it to bang these girls in different positions and for hours expanding their v*gina and they will come here and call the lady "community borehole". After her body has expanded, how can she have a good sexual life with her husband who doesn't take p*nis enlarg*ment pills? In a few years time, if you stand in a public bathroom with those girls, they'll want to use their eyes to pluck you out cus the "hustle" has taken it's toll, while you will be having matured curves with the almost same perkiness of a teenager.
5. STDs there are crazy sicknesses out there and c*ndoms don't give 100% protection. Many carriers of aids going on a sharing spree for revenge
6. Spiritual implications too. U heard yahoo boys use ladies for rituals right? Do you know that one of the popular things these guys do is to turn the lady into a funnel where the destiny of anyone she's sleeping with will be drained to them. Now imaging you're sleeping with a guy who is also sleeping with one of such funnel girls?
7. When you have nothing to hide, you can be honest with your future hubby and he will trust you cus he knows what u didn't do before he met you, you won't do in his house.
8. Unwanted pregnancy, u want to bear the risk of getting pregnant and having to do abortions? Or you want to damage your womb by popping abortion pills (the fancy name is morning after pill) every week into your mouth? You want to run the risk of barrenness when you're ready to settle down?
9.Bad name: Bad news doesn't stay hidden, sooner or later, everybody go hear say you be ashewo. Imagine the humiliation on your mom or family when they begin to use you to yab them.
10. Nothing you gain as a runs girl or bad girl is permanent. Few years time, iphone 13 pro max go don caste, the guys that bought you the phone have moved on to girls with perkier boobs who can whine more than you. Your bone straight done bone, your laps aren't smooth again, you don't look hot in them anymore, all the guys u we're dating are now married with kids, what did you really gain? The rent they paid today go expire in 1yr, how sure say Dem go pay another one?

So my dear stargurl20, being a good girl will pay you like it's paying me now but it won't be today, it won't be tomorrow, but it won't be forever either. Few more years and you'll be looking for me to thank me (if you take this advice today)

This is the difference between Africans and Europeans

Rosement:
I'm a virgin, I don't want to have sex until my wedding night. I'm a Nigerian but my bf is a white guy, he told me he loves and he wants to marry me but he wants us to start having sex while we are dating. I tired of breaking up for this same reason. What do I do?

Nairaland is the worst place to get an answer but I will tell you this for free, 98% of those asking you for a relationship want to have sex with you and when they see that you're not in for that, some go the extra mile by asking you to marry them.

I will also tell you that there are celibate guys who won't ask you for sex or even accept it and won't cheat on you. Pray and ask God to lead them to you cus they're not many.

Keep what you have, sex is a convenant, an exchange, any man who really loves you will respect your decision and if they leave, it's because what they wanted in the first place was sex and you don't want to end up with a man that needs sex like it's oxygen.