₦airaland Forum

Spherical77:
i was given birth in a government owned hospital where it's completely free. The last time i checked, the poorest in Nigeria can still have a roof over his/her head no matter what. I was responsible and supportive for my feeding from 7 because i and my siblings had to hawk before we can put something in our tommy. I'm pretty sure if there were no free education in Nigeria, then i wouldn't get formal education

Despite the penury we still struggle to see ourselves through school. School that was almost free during their time with good job awaiting them after graduation but they couldn't seized the opportunity then

Sadly, here we are today suffering despite being educated but couldn't land a job

Please tell me what favour do our parents had for us for giving birth to i and my siblings?

Not everyone can afford a roof over their head and food to eat, definitely not a 7yr old boy.
I hope you're not still living with them sha

HenryDion:
A Nigerian parent spotted. Did your kids beg you to born them? No be you go open leg born wetin you cannot carter for?

Nigerian child spotted.
Sure children didn't ask to be born but now the mistake deed has been done, nobody owes you anything beyond 16yrs, and if you kept being a leech on people who have paid for their mistakes for 16 long years, they deserve at least their investment back with interest (and inflation factored) get that into your skull.

If you don't like it, leave their house now!

LINTUNE:
guy let's pray to make this money,u simply didn't make any point here...all what u said is as a result of poverty...if your dad has a mansion,I see nothing wrong leaving with him,while u are building ur own house, even in ur 30s..... dude, how can parent that didn't even train their child both in skill acquisition and University level,why should such parents be expecting their child to start bringing in money in his early 20s, no be juju be that..some parents no de try, forget, I still thank God for mine.

U see nothing wrong in living with another man at the age of 30 just because he fathered you but you will see everything wrong in housing a man that fathered you if the mansion belonged to you right?

I haven't seen a parent whose child should be an apprentice somewhere asking the child for a range rover. Me I haven't seen

NewSoul:
This talk no make sense
Na woman u go be definitely
Pikin force parent to put am for private school

Lol, na poverty dey cause this Kain talk and thinking. People wey get money dey buy their mama Rolls Royce, the mama force them to buy am?
Instead of you to go and meet your parents to bless the day and night over your life, you're blaming them for training you

Spherical77:
I attended public school all through my life. My university education was almost free but my father would still be complaining because of not getting employed

Poor parents no doubt bank on their kids as retirement plan

I assume u were sleeping under the bridge throughout your life. What about food? Were you being fed in school? Clothes nkor? Did u wear uniform from the day you were born? Hospital bills nkor?
Loooooool

Gerrard59:
Strong point there. These parents are emotionally right to see their children as retirement benefits considering how they spent on their children's education whereas children elsewhere take loans and let their parents plan their own retirements. It's not easy for a Nigerian parent to spend so much money on a child's education yet we don't expect that parent to see the child as form of retirement benefit especially in a country with poor social welfare schemes. He who pays the piper dictates the tune.

Thank you, some parents abroad throw their 16yr old kids to the streets for refusing to contribute to rent. If a Nigerian parent kicks you to the street, you are a very serious threat to their life, infact, you're beyond redemption.

After slaving years of their life, someone is forming woke and saying all sorts and blaming the parents for birthing them

Acidosis:
You're funny. Children should give their parents space to build their future? How? In this same Nigeria where children are a form of bragging rights for parents? And when they don't have one, they start running from one prophet to another baby factory.

How many kids chose the school they want? It's like you don't know the extent at which some parents go when it comes to using kids as bragging rights.

Nigerian parents dictate everything, including the course their children must study. You can't shift blames here. If your parents want you to be doctor at all cost, who should bear the cost?

The white guy will raise just one or two kids despite several welfare programmes and accessible loans. You, in Nigeria, will do 8 just because you want to have a doctor, lawyer, lecturer, accountant in the family. Who send you? When things don't go as planned, these kids run into Yahoo 'business' and rituals just to meet up with parental and societal expectations.

Daddy I want to go to British international school, daddy I want to school in the USA, mummy I want to go on excursion to Paris.

You mean children don't bug their parents for gifts and favours even when they can take a job and earn 20k monthly, how many will do it?

Even after they graduate, they look up to their parents to get them a job, fund their marriage, gift them a car etc. When the parent can't afford it, they start ranting, don't expect anything yen yen yen, if your parent was tinubu you'll swear that you won't abandon them.

Lol, poverty making people deny their own parents

Youngzedd:
Did you force your parents to give birth to you?

No, two adults decided to have sex without protection, even when there are many contraceptives out there, they ignored it.

You are the product of their enjoyment and owe nothing to em.

If they give you up for adoption or dump you in a motherless babies home, nobody can arrest them

I hope some people will be willing to leave their parents house once they clock 16 and not be parasites at 25 claiming parents shouldn't use them as retirement plan...

If you gave those parents the space to build their futures, they most likely won't be broke, but no, you see the free or very affordable government schools and push them to enroll you in one of the best private schools that cost them blood and sweat every term, unlike your mates overseas who attended free education and take loans to pay for their university tuition.

Hypocrisy

vickydevoka:
O.k.
Na so one Edo lady been talk that year until him papa die. Dis people one use billing finish her

Na she allow them to bill her.
If my wonderful family members that try rubbish during my trad, I'll take what is due them normally and keep it with the customary court in my state and go ahead with my wedding. My father has a son.

If I'm already married, na blocking straight, I won't argue with them, just block them

vickydevoka:
African culture u owe people something o. Someday de will need de uncle's presence.

The only person the wife will need is her husband ONLY. Even her father becomes a lesser priority after her brideprice has been paid

MrBrownJay1:
all the above arrant smokescreen gibberish to say absolutely NOTHING RELATED TO WHAT I WROTE!!!! now read again what i wrote, and tell me where any of the above BS is related to what i wrote?!?!?!?! are you high on some cheap drugs or what....i wrote: no Nigerian court will send a man to jail because he is jobless and cant help a baby mama. let that court 1st decide how much this man should pay as upkeep, before thinking that a woman could just get up and say she wants a place to stay and half your salary, and her babydaddy will just pay for it.

remember: "YOU" are the one who wrote that if he ends her marriage, he will HAVE to pay for her apt and give her half of his salary (and none of your above gibberish post points to that)

sadly you miss the important part where the baby mama may be a broke aass as well thus she aint got money to pay 30k monthly to a corrupt cop, lol!

You sound like a child throwing tantrums, thought we were reasoning over a matter that's none of our business anyway.
Since insults have started coming, let me come and be going.

T0T0fucker:
"fear women" can be read in 2 different ways.


the simp way ( like you said she can disappear me with 30k,)

and

THE ALPHA WAY ( to be vigilant and steady in our dealings with them)



you and so many weak men are reasoning that fear women in a simp way.

some people calling me a broke assz, I laugh in Swahili

I give no fûck about her or her marriage.

I just want to know if that sperm is mine....and I will Find out anyway.

Best of luck

T0T0fucker:
just like every other simp men and their thinking.

The men who advised you to "Fear Woman" are all simps abi, lol

T0T0fucker:
since am not a broke assz, how much can they use to disappear me...let me know.

As much as a desperate woman can lay her hands on.
Don't play with snakes

MrBrownJay1:
abeg stop making me laugh, no Nigerian court will send a man to jail because he is jobless and cant help a baby mama. let that court 1st decide how much this man should pay as upkeep, before thinking that a woman could just get up and say she wants a place to stay, and her babydaddy will just pay for it.

I looked up what Nigerian Family lawyers have to say about this:

In the course of the divorce proceedings, the court may make an order as to the maintenance of a child. Pursuant to the provisions of the Matrimonial Causes Act, any child below the age of 21 is automatically entitled to a maintenance. However, the maintenance order may be made in favour of a child above 21 years in exceptional circumstances. The maintenance order the court may make include welfare support, education advancement among others.

Meanwhile, an unmarried couple seeking an order of a child maintenance in Nigeria may do so pursuant to the provisions of the Child Rights Act or Child Rights Laws of the various states. The domicile of the parties is not required to institute such action like divorce proceedings, as by virtue of residence in such state will qualify the party to institute such action. A married couple not seeking a divorce, but just the maintenance of the child may institute an action pursuant to the Child Rights Act or Child Rights of a state.

• CONCLUSION
It is noteworthy that in the award of custody of a child by a court, the paramount interest of the child is the main key. However, it must be understood that[b] the welfare of a child is not only the material provisions in the house, good clothes, food, air conditioners, television, but it is more of the happiness of the child and his or her psychological development.[/b]

Written by Family Law unit of the Resolution Law Firm
*********************************

Thus a child who is denied the necessary maintenance can make a formal report to the relevant Law agency to enforce his right. For instance, there are instances where single mother will be unable to get financial assistance from the father of her child, it is usually advisable that a single mother who has found herself in such quagmiretic situation, should take full advantage of the aforementioned section and seek help at the gender section of the police command Ikeja, Lagos, for immediate prosecution
**********************************


• CUSTODY OF A CHILD BORN OUTSIDE WEDLOCK
Under the Common law, a mother has a right to the custody of an illegitimate child to the exclusion of the natural father of the child. For a father to be awarded custody in such a circumstance under the common law, he must establish that the mother is unfit to look after the child.
Under the Customary law, if a woman has a child by a man to whom she is not married, the proper guardian of the child who is entitled to custody is the father of the mother and this is so even if the child has been legitimated by acknowledgement of the father.
****************************

Don't worry, you're welcome

MrBrownJay1:
abeg stop making me laugh, no Nigerian court will send a man to jail because he is jobless and cant help a baby mama. let that court 1st decide how much this man should pay as upkeep, before thinking that a woman could just get up and say she wants a place to stay, and her babydaddy will just pay for it.



people who live in FEAR are the worst of the worst....whatever this woman wanna do to him, let her do her worse....AND also let this man go all the way at the top to discover who the biological father of this child is.



you are right that some women are snakes, and this story points to that. but people like LaLasticlala would tell you that, just as some people see snakes as dangerous venemous ermine, other deal with them as gentle pets or snacks. what works for Jide, may not work for Ahmed.

If he's a broke ass, 30k monthly to a corrupt police officer will keep him locked up in a station with no access to any means of communication and no court hearing. Any amount more than that, he may simply disappear

MrBrownJay1:
in the west possibly, in 9ja, HELL NO! but hey, what if he is jobless? are you saying that if a man is jobless, he shouldnt claim his rightful heir, and instead let some stranger claim his biological child as theirs?!?!?!?!?!

Have u been divorced in naija?
lol, if he's jobless, he will sleep in prison till he forgets what she looks like

Wisdom is profitable to direct, what if the lady gets him killed? Will he claim the child in the grave?

See u shouldnt play with a snake no matter how small it looks

MrBrownJay1:
take full reponsibility of the babe if/when her marriage crashes because she tried to hang a baby on the wrong man's neck?!?! are you people for real?

if the baby is the OP's and her marriage crashes, then she will only have her damn self to blame for that. nobody should marry her out of pity,... CO-PARENTING will be the only way to go here.

[img]https://c./uIBgBRBrTjMAAAAM/baby-angry.gif[/img]

If the baby is his and her marriage crashes, he will be compelled to provide an apartment and pay her half of his salary monthly with visisting rights only, you cant share custody of a child thats being breastfed, you can only visit.

That woman will deal with him with everything she's got

T0T0fucker:
good day all,

I really do need your mature opinions on this issue, I'm a young man in my early 30s. due to my personality am the kind of guy that flex
Moving on when I know I have a child somewhere, my offsprings is not an option.. because I feel scammed already.

I can see you have made up your mind already but one thing I must say is: Let's assume you are right and you're the father of the child, she definitely won't agree to do a DNA test, secondly if you force her to do that through a court case and it comes out positive, and you manage to get visitation rights (you can't get even shared custody till the baby is a bit older, you can only get visitation rights), would she still have a marriage?

So now she's a bitter divorcee who you won't marry but scattered her marriage. Do you think she will be happy with you? She'll sue your for child support (half of your monthly salary, accomodation and anything else), then she will make sure she poisons that child against you and may even interefer in any attempt to marry.

In the end, you may end up with a brainwashed child and a bitter babymama, a permanent drain inyour finances.

Is this what you want?

kelechi50:
I've tried to reach you on telegram but not reachable.

just add me as a contact and create a message

HardMirror:
hmmm...thanks

Opening a thread on relationship seeking non-biased opinion here is almost an impossibility these days.

Alot of active commenters are actually very young, naive and inexperienced. Some are just venting their anger here on a faceless forum, just few are mature and reasonable...

That being said, yes, a woman loves to spend her man's money, whether she's your mother, girlfriend, wife or daughter, as long as she loves you, gifts from you are worth 100 gifts from random admirers.

But if she really cares about you, she won't accept a gift that can hurt your finances, business or something. But a woman who doesn't care about you will push you to spend your last card and once she sees the money is finished, she'll fly away.

Summary, she's a good girl, you should spend on her if you consider a future with her but let the spending be within "fair usage", don't hurt your savings to impress a woman.

Happy Sunday

Changed my mind

Changed my mind