₦airaland Forum

Ada Bekee: to me, d ring serves as a symbol of committment, its an evidence dat he proposed.
I wl lyk to get a ring 4rm my man, dnt knw abt others.

Evidence to who, the society?

Olurose: Hmmm, as 4 me ooo I won't accept a marriage proposal without a ring, I'll take it as if u're just joking. U av to go and get d ring baibee

The dynamics of relationships in this current times have changed and you just have to evolve. Yes the natural order is to meet someone/date/court/engage/get married bla bla bla

What if this natural order was altered by you mistakenly getting pregnant and all, would you still insist on no wedding without engagement ring?

uj_sizzle: I wish you could be a girl for a week, then you'd understand that admirers will always be there and sometimes seeing that you are about to wed is the only way to get some annoying pest-ly males off your back

I strongly disagree that only a ring will enable you reach that desired effect. You have admirers because you simply allowed/encouraged it. Most women that aren’t able to feign off admirers simply enjoy the attention they get from them.
There are far better ways to achieve the same result without the need of a ring.
• You can always be firm and formal when associating with these so called admirers.
• Value and respect you relationship more.

uj_sizzle: @bolded. Very worthy cause if you ask me

Why should a girl in a relationship be having all those admirers? If you focus on your relationship then surely you will have no reason to warn off admirers, no?

Commitment is all about mindset

I'd propose to my girl with a ring if:
1) That's what she wants (This is the single most important reason why you should cos at the ed of the day we do everything for love)
2) I can afford one

Not because:
1) It's the norm
2) It's the only way to show i'm committed

uj_sizzle: It's still tradition. The same reason why some cultures have the man paying a bride price and others have a woman paying dowry.

I'm not saying it isn't tradition. I just frown at people hiding under tradition/culture/norm whenever it suits them.

Getting engaged/married is a decision between two people willing to spend the rest of their lives together. They should decide on what works for them and not what the society deems acceptable.

The notion that a ring is a sign of commitment is all farce. Commitment is all about respect and values that the couple have for each other once they make that decisions to embark on the journey of no return. One of the main reason why this same ring has almost lost its true value/meaning is simply because most women want this same ring to show off or better still use to warn all their numerous admirers off.

Technically, being committed starts once you are in love and you both see each other as someone you had be able to spend the rest of your life with.

Mynd_44: Wait ooo. A ring signifies commitment and promise bla bla bla but why a ring? What not a diadem, a tiara, a scarf, a bracelet, necklace or waistbead? Why a ring?

We need to ask serious questions here oooo. What is the significance of a ring?

jay bee: Phew, thanks for seeing my question for what it was really.

Here is another question, so if a ring is meant to be a sign of commitment and commitment is meant to be between 2 couples in love so why then must the ring be given to the woman alone?

Oga mynd, that's the angle that i'm trying to get uj sizzle to view it from as well hence my question.

uj_sizzle: Not one party, it's more a question of which does the greater good.

Culture is probably the most difficult thing to dispense with, and moreso the 'archaic' practise of bride price which I suppose is just a means for greedy old relatives(in some communities) to purge on someone's wealth. Maybe when they are all dead, we can finally do away with it. But that doesn't change the fact that paying of bride price wasn't significant and symbolic in a good way back in the days. It's just been abused like everything else.

I don't see how the giving of ring doesn't suit both parties.
The giver pledges his commitment to his woman by leaving his mark(the ring) on her, the recepient by accepting the ring pledges her commitment in return and wears her trophy in plain sight literally saying "back off, i'm already taken". Looks like a win-win to me.
Every tradition i've know(historically) have been significant to both parties involved. It's just a pity traditional institutions have been bastardized of late and apparently the changes are seemly inconvenient to one or both parties. So really blame the people, don't blame the practise(except ofcos it's barbaric like that Fulani whipping thing ).

Phew, thanks for seeing my question for what it was really.

Here is another question, so if a ring is meant to be a sign of commitment and commitment is meant to be between 2 couples in love so why then must the ring be given to the woman alone?

HisRib: Bride Price is tradition. It's something that has been done for years by our ancestors. Why are you trying to twist things? All this because of a mere engagement ring?!

Is this a sick joke? I can't believe we're even having this conversation. How in the world can you as a man ask for a woman's hand in marriage without a ring & feel good/okay with it? That's just crazy!

I refuse to believe I'm talking to grown men. You lot must be teenagers. I'm in complete disbelief.

A MAN does not run away from responsibility. A boy? Yes. But not a MAN!

Take a chill pill ma'am, i was only trying to point the obvious double standards to the person i quoted.
I was in no way trying to justify an engagement without a ring.
Besides, is it even tradition to offer a ring as a sign of commitment?

Again, i'm only questioning the rationale. I'm by no means trying to justify anyone's action or inaction.

uj_sizzle: Please teach your brothers. I think globalization is becoming a curse

Why is globalization acceptable when it benefits only one party?

How come this same globalization ish gets frowned upon if the man dare try to use it to get out of the somewhat archaic practices disguised under bride price arrangements?

A practice ought not to be acceptable when it suits just one party

See all these fine gurls wey you been dey control ehn

Why you dey do me like dis na lolly

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lorretta u: you like this sexy babe on glasses I just posted now ?

If na the one wey you been think say your own bros suppose wife then no shaking

tellwisdom: Just use knife and chook your belle... the baby will be aborted

Get serious dude....geeeez


@OP
You are still a child so my advise is for you to go and meet your folks for direction.

@lolly

I need a wife

Oya hook your bro up na with on of these sexy chicas

Madam cc na contestant 69?

Naija politics cheiiii

I'm around

baby_123: I dont think Coogar has the ability to be unbiased. He cannot help himself. I will be observing and make sure i protest till he gets removed. Same with Sagamite.

Debaters are being scored against published criteria
Each criteria carries a maximum of 5 points
Each judge is required to give feedback
Above all, only the "content" criteria is susceptible to some level of bias

Sleep during the day

Stay away from films > 90 minutes

Stay away from certain genres

Get involved with the touchy touchy business with your date (This should get your body and soul engaged)