₦airaland Forum

@all
You are not allowed to post another user's picture without their respective consent.
I will be banning anyone found ignoring this plea henceforth

Thanks for your anticipated cooperation

Keep the suggestions coming guys.

PS: It would help if your suggestions are location specific e.g.

John doe's children home
123 Aba road
Enugu

DanTrizy: Hahah real funny bro, that means you wont help the poor Hahah real funny bro, that means you wont help the poor

There are other ways to help the poor other than signing a life contract with someone whose only reason for doing so is because of the financial gain they are bound to make.

It depends to be honest. I don't want to marry someone then have her whole family depend on me as the less privileged sometimes do in Nigeria.

If marriage is seen as a passport to wealth then i sure don't want to be marrying someone whose only reason for marrying me is for what's in it for her and her family.

Simple as ABC.....

Make them love you then see them "do everything for love"

chinjo: Obedience is better than sacrifice

Please explain?

No point setting yourself for a life of mysery if you are someone that is intolerant to other people's views.

Religion/faith is a major aspect in a marriage so it isn't an issue you can play the "hoping she/he will change" game.

I just don't see how it will work so i'm afraid your search for that soul mate should continue

lorretta u: Boss I sight you @jaybee

I guess no chance for moi then lovergal

No point being in the relationship once you start questioning yourself if you made the best decision.

I honestly don't understand why couples don't discuss issues like this before deciding to get married. Marriage is all about tolerance, there is obviously a problem the moment either party starts feeling own view/opinion/say is say regardless of how it will impact the other person.

This issue obviously wouldn't go away and i get very angry when people start asking the woman to just accept because;
He is the husband and thus you must obey king kong,
The role of a woman is to just sit listen and be a baby making machine,
If you want your marriage to last then don't complain
Bla bla bla bla

Of what use is you being unhappy about something so dear to you in your marriage whilst constantly feeling your opinion counts for nothing?

To even think about his stated reason for not wanting you to speak your own language to your own son. Isn't his sole reason equally applicable to his language as well.

The primary being the language you guys communicate is English so how on earth would the child pick up yoruba or esan accent?

You are not meant to feel undervalued in a marriage. It is a partnership and to think you will even have more responsibility in raising this child is just making woooow

Anyhoo, OBEY is the magic word since you are a Nigerian woman married to a Nigerian man and living in Nigeria.

freecocoa: Jay bee darling, I know this lady well and she has been in a situation like this before with the money not being recovered, she's just trying to avoid trouble and loss of her money.

Even the more reason why she has to say a big No If she has been in the situation before. The guy will only get angry and probably get over it. However, if he does decide to break up with her because of that then it simply was never meant to be. It’s as simple as that.
Absolutely no point risking her money when there is already an evidence that he is a bad debtor.

freecocoa: Honestly I don't see what's there to be angry about if he intends to pay back, this is her hard earned money we are talking about, about just saying she doesn't like lending money. I believe that would be worse cos he knows she has the money.

People that borrow always have intention to pay back but conditions/events which most times is always out of their control decides if the money would be paid back.
Like I said in my earlier post, she has only two realistic options
1) She says no because of the past experience
2) She gives what she can afford

400k is a lot of money for her to be risking for love. They are not married so no amount of guarantee can mitigate against the inherent risks involved

What prompted her to ask for collateral or him signing an agreement?

I would be mad as well if i was in his shoes as that single action can be interpreted as she not trusting me as her partner.

What i always ask people to do if they aren't comfortable loaning someone money is, give what you can afford or just categorically state you don't like loaning people money

I could have sworn there is a clear difference in being elected and being appointed.
Farouk was elected to serve and can be recalled whereas Stella was appointed to do a job and can subsequently be sacked if fraud allegations are proven right

Choi

It's just a crush bro.

I bet you be crushing on toolz/beyonce's big batty as well so ain't nothing wrong with an innocent crush. It's just a CRUSH afterall ain't nothing more than that

Relax and don't let that blood of yours boil abeg

simplynola: Asking him to withdraw bit by bit like some said rarely works. For Heavens sake how can someone who is not in control of himself help himself. Even if you ask him to, he will only accept to please you and continue behind you. This is a case of addiction and moreso its got to do with drugs. It works with the brain which makes one behave irrational atimes. Mayb you should seek the help of a medical expert cuz i learnt to [s]help someone addicted to cocaine, you still need to keep giving the cocaine [/s]while working on their withdrawal and thats where the medical experts are of great help.

Wrong

They give those addicted to heroin methadone so as to help suppress their unpleasant withdrawal symptoms

@OP
How often does this dude need to get a fix?
If he gets high daily then he needs to be taken to a place where he would not be able to get hold of any substance to abuse. That's the key to rehab (deny them access to the substance and make them realise that they sure can live without their dependance on the highly addictive substances)

Chillisauce: How are we sure you won't get the worst person for him.
The one that will behave like a kitten but she's real warrior .

Easy pisse, his criteria aren't necessarily out of this world.

Homely
Church girl
Not too young nor too old
Working

Surely if i enter house of praise or christ embassy i would come out with enough numbers.

There are still so many girls waiting on the lord na so why must the dude allow himself enter one chance abi wetin dem dey call am

bukatyne: This thread is really an eye opener...

I now see why divorce rates have sky rocketed with issues of incompatibility which mean simply mean nothing to trade anymore...

If a husband losses his job or wife cannot 'give' sex (which in reality the husband gives) or cook, na die be that!

I just cant believe what i'm reading to be honest with you.

So it had be acceptable for a husband to go and seek sex elsewhere because the wife is pregnant and obviously can't trade during the later stages of her pregnancy.

@OP
You want make i hook you up?

Greedy people don't change. It's in their DNA

Ask yourself this question, "would she date not alone stay with me if i didn't shower her with material things"

sauceEEP: I just love the way op is responding to banters being thrown at her,i shows that she is truly matured. I like ladies that still maintain their cool even at the highest level of provocation. As i man, i don't see anything wrong in paying the house rent of my boo provided the money is there.

You make her dependent and God forbid you lose your job or the main source of your income, what then happens?

Remember she is just a girlfriend with no obligation whatsoever to stand by you in trying times.

You are left heart broken and she gets kicked out of the house until she is able to find another willing maga

Never heard something so ridiculous in my life. So marriage so sacred is now being viewed alongside key principles of trade by barter.

I honestly don't know why this is still dragging geez

freecocoa: Depends on how good the sex is, can you perform?

I haff money.

Me i know get shame, sex and money join equates to a win win scenario

Idowuogbo: Council tax nko?

You can handle the council tax

I know my freecocoa will handle the rent

We are still on this?

Abeg who wan help me pay ma own rent?

mizzocho.cinco:
If there is a right time to have sex with him and cook for him before marriage, why is there not a right time to ask for money for rent before marriage?

You are sounding even more ridiculous by the minute. Just a big wow at your attempt at trying to justify your thought process.

Anyway, he didn't force you to have sex neither was cooking for him a condition for your relationship. You did the two on your own accord so stop trying to find reasons for having a cheap mentality

Dating him is now a privilege isn't it?

Pay your own damn rent

Why would you want a man that isn't married to you be responsible for you?