₦airaland Forum

You probably may well be right but i'm from the school of their is always another side to a story.

LadyT:
Theres two sides to every story but once you are married you should make ever effort to resolve issues. And many Nigerian men need to stop this Im married but I have a girlfriend s h i t

They will stop once we start accepting divorce to be a norm rather than taboo.
I'm not saying divorcing someone or threatening to will most definitely stop one from cheating but at least it will make them think twice

^^^^^
A side of the story madam

I agree, IF that's actually what transpired then dude acted immaturely by not handling his business allowing outside influence to poke nose into his relationship with the wife. But then again that's naija and over-familiarity is always the other of the day

@Katy
With an open mind your worries are half solved. Trust me on that
We are really not that bad

Katy86:
Hello jaybee,

I am a European of course the sun in Africa will kill me but that should not be a reason not to travel.
What I am afraid of is the crime in Nigeria. Nobody can tell me here that me as a white person can move trough all your city's without any problems. Try and go trough some places in Germany as a black person, then you will understand why I am afraid.

But the most important thing is that my children are so small. I told it before. One is 5 the other one 1 year and 12 month. What should I do when they get ill there? What should I do when something happen? Like accident or snake bite them, oh when I start thinking about this I am going crazy. I am a typical mother who sees dangers for her children everywhere

Thanks for answering ma questions.
Now let's get to the nitty gritty, Crime occurs everywhere (UK, USA, Mexico et al). You might argue the severity of the crimes but the fact is IMO that alone shouldn't really serve as a deterrant to visiting/exploring other countries.
What you really should be concerned about is what kinda guarantees can you b/f provide if you were to travel to Nigeria. Nigeria is a big enough country and we have loads of people that have never experienced any despicable criminal activities you hear about daily in the news. You can always get your in-laws to fly down to abuja or lag for a big family reunion of some sort.

On the issue off your wards getting ill whilst visiting Naija, the first thing most people do before visiting (Nigerians Included) is to take various immunization injections. You can also restrict your stay to states that have commendable class hospitals (Lagos, FCT). Snake bit is a rarity as Nigeria is not a big whole bush. It's actually very developed when compared to other emerging countries.

Trust me, your fears are real but what you ought to be asking are what can be done to mitigate these fears of yours.
Again, you don't have to but I'd advice you to cos frankly 'em fears are not enough for you to give up what you have built with your man.

I would have been worried if he insisted of you guys moving back permanently but it's only a visit so why don't you tag along to experience what the real Nigerians have to offer

@Katy
What are you afraid of?
Being kidnapped?
Having mosquito bites?
Having food poison?
The weather?
Living permanently in Nigeria?
I'd say you are right in harbouring whatever concerns you may or may not have but the fact of the matter is things are better being experienced if need be than being told how they are.

People are always advised to utilize the report to mod option. However ineffective it may be but it's should always act as the first point of call.
Personally though, i'd advise you like i'd do to any other person on or offline. Their is more dignity in being the bigger person, you just have to IGNORE cos frankly no point going into arguments/fights you can't win.
Let people call you a whimp but one thing is for sure, you had always make valuable use of all the time you would have wasted trying to fight back.

Lacrissa:
Noooo lol the type of shyness isn't the irritating one, Maybe you tell me stand, I say no, not yet, not now, but we still had our convo

Oh i ceeeeee but still though, why are you shy about hving to stand or what not? Do you know it can be termed wrongly, You should have just commented along the line off "I don't wanna be showing you my whole self just yet" instead of acting all shy.

Let's hear your grievances


PLEASE LET'S KEEP IT CLEAN

Lacrissa:
Why the sentence in bold?

Emphasis is on "In my world", and that was what happened when i experienced something like that. Stopped taking her seriously cos frankly how was she going to be able to overcome that shyness when we meet in person? (my thoughts at the time)

In my world, you had be classified as a child that needs nurturing instead of dated.
BTW, being shy is attractive but excessiveness can become irritating.

Pweety4me:
[color=#550077]Thats sounds like kiddie runs, or maybe that happens in America![/color]

Ma thoughts exactly

I'm a lone wolf.

You are basically asking if women will date boys

LadyT:
Alagba JayBee Kissing all over Nairaland

loooool
how u been? It's been a while

madlady:
I honestly did not get your meaning

I thought the thread was about assisting, I took that to mean, helping out with any little anyone had to spare. If it helps the person so be it, but nothing is expected in return for the assistance.
Just like you do when you do your monthly/yearly donations.

u good sha?

mwahhhhhh

da greatest joker alive
how u been
miss moi

^^^^^^
still searching/fishing for needles

loooooool

:-x

MRbrownJAY:
@jay
Yeah its been a while man, every good and you?

Not bad, just been staying under the radar

@Q & Mzdarskin
You both are looking are looking at it from a bf/gf relationship whilst I'm looking at it from a husband/wife relationship. Loving someone involves wanting to go extra length to ensure the relationship works out.
Now, I'm not saying i would force someone to go to Africa if they had genuine reasons but petty reasons such as mosquito bite and the food oozes ignorance which frankly shouldn't be tolerated in ma opinion.

@Mzdarskin
I do get your point on not wanting to make the extra adjustment if the other party ain't willing to do same. Relationships that deserves working on shouldn't be a competition nor does it deserves to be one sided. We always have to strike the balance and if bending a little to achieve the best is what's required then please do so.
Remember that if you marry someone with a different culture, it's an advisable obligation for both parent to educate the children about each others culture so they can have the ever so important sense of belonging.
We blacks have strong roots that needs to be taught/instilled regardless. We have to be proud of who we are.


@MrbrownJay

How u been ma guy? been a while

@MrBJ
Well common sense do tend to become insignificant when in love as people generally follow their hearth rather than head.

@MzDarkskin
Why do you say so?
Don't people do things they wouldn't normally do cos of the person they love?

With love, ain't gonna be limitations

Shows clearly that love is not the other of the day in the relationship.
With love, sky is the limit

Nope, but ma very good female friend is rwandese

who cares?