₦airaland Forum

A typical household
The man should pay the following:
Mortgage
Children's school fees

The woman should pay for the following:
Council Tax
Food
Children's upkeep
Utility bills
Land line phone & Satellite TV


If it's not a big mortgage then the man can had the council Tax to his list.

Just ma preference Mrs CeeCee

1. Can you tell just by a few minutes after meeting him/her that he/she is the one for you?

She might come across as the one but it's very important to know if we are going to be compatible. This is why courtship is always advised.

2.Can you tell a husband/wife material just by spending a day/a few hours with them?

It's somewhat dangerous to conclude without proper analysis. We are talking about a life long commitment so I'd expect to over-analyze on this issue.
I need to know her bad habits and see if i can overlook them

3.How long do you think a good courtship should last? how long is too long?

This depends on where the man or woman is at the time they meet each other.
I wouldn't expect to court a woman for years if I'm in my middle or late 30's but will be required to if I'm in my early 20's.
It's hard to place a minimum duration on it but one thing is a certainty, if you spend good quality time together then surely the good/bad/ugly will come out and it's now left to the parties involved if they wanna take it a step further

4.Men/women would you rather be in a 50-50 relationship or have one person play the part of the "head of the home" ?

I am a strong campaigner for the 65/35 sharing ratio as i have a great need to feel I'm the head of my household and doing 50/50 (equal relationship) might just throw up problems in the long run especially in this western world.
Although, even with my preferred sharing ratio, I'd still make sure life changing decisions are discussed and both inputs taking into consideration according as i was never brought up in a dictatorship environment

5.Men: Do you think taking money from your GF/wife makes you a lazy person? Especially those in a relationship and not yet married do you really think accepting money from your GF makes you a lesser being?is it right to take money from your GF?

Yes it will make me feel a lesser man if i had to depend on the money.

do you like him? If yes then nothing stops you from taking the lead. You've known him for quite a while and he obviously adores you so stop playing the waiting game.
The words coming from his mouth won't make any difference. His feelings towards you is what matters

Walks in and zooms right out

Bang on point Q

Intelligence is always hard to measure so my minimum requirement is always someone who can read/write and i sure know u excel in that department. lol

Wow . . . . .
Always knew you is one smarty pants.
Be rest assured this dude doesn't need no navigation tools to navigate the south pole.
I am natural like that

Depends on the region
North or south pole?

yeah yeah whatever. lol
Next time, stick with your peanut butter Never mix PB with Chocolate spread hun

Cherios => food Q   u should know that

Yeah i did and guess who picked it up?
I'm sure u know who i'm talking about

Are you the husband snatcher Q?

Omolola1:
Jaybee, abeg! lol. . .well, i took a wild guess because d poster said its been going on for 4years

Wrong. They have been dating for 4 years which suggests dude is not an addict for her not to have noticed except they hardly see each other which i seriously doubt.

Omolola1:
That is what am not sure of coz the poster didn't say

hahahhahaha GBAM. You are now in a corner Lola.
How can you advice her to dump him without being sure if the dude is actually addicted to weed. For all we care, the weed could just be a recreational occasional spliff.

Omolola1:
very true,its nt easy 2 dump d one u lv,bt an addict?its not easy 2 help an addict,it takes tym nd i dnt av dat patience

I doubt the dude is an addict as addicts don't hide their bad habit.

You have no business with the lady.
Ask your husband to come clean. Looks like the dude has moved on so stop pestering the other woman and focus more on your child and how you going to better your life going forward.

Personal thought or preference?
Even with preference what are the implication of dating a guy that lights-up?
I know in naija it's mostly acceptability issues but my point is if you love someone u don't just dump them, you help them through things

Oh i 4got that weed is a big deal in naija.

And what if the dude is the perfect partner (less the weed) she has been praying for all her life?

Omolola1:
Dsense, i see you are in one of your periods! @jayb, ofcourse! wuld u advise her to stick wiv smone who iz an addict

Why not as long as the addiction ain't indirectly affecting her physically,emotionally or financially.

Would you advice a woman to divorce her husband cos he smokes weed?

Does he make it obvious?
Have you complained and he refused to stop?
If you feel disrespected then let him know you ain't gonna be going on dates with him if he doesn't clean up that act.
Looking alone is not enough to dump someone

^^^
Dump someone because they smoke lil weed?

@OP
Confront him, ask him to come clean they offer to help him drop the bad habit.
Do you have a problem with smokers?

Nnajide:
I'm paying for the wedding. Thought Naija will be better to give everyone a chance to enjoy it. Option 2 still on the table, US ( but no Nigerian invitees!)

Best option (No one gets offended).

I aint scared

Just bring it

ROFLMAO
and you are the home destroyer right
You wanna come destroy me small hut with your WMD's

What a question Hisss
She told you she wants to have a child for you and won't accept being a second wife.
Kill the friendship and let her go destroy her own life.

BTW: Why are you entertaining the garbage?

Who is paying for the wedding?
Why let people that are obviously not going to be in your marriage dictate?
If it gets outta hand then sit your behind down in USA and get hitched.
Geez, we worry/fight over insignificant things. Thank the good lord she is not pissed about her being from a different part of town.
Na real wa

likeme:
She opened the thread for emotional check (if there is anything like dat). People do a lot of things to nuture relationship. I have seen people travelling from America to 9ija to be with a guy. I have seen a guy leaving a fantastic paying job in uk and relocated to 9ija 'cause of a woman.

2 Situations and human beings are never the same. That it works for a does not mean it will work for B especially when there is no formula to back it up.
If her account is not in RED , i bet you she would not have shown up here to clarify.
I have not seen anything abnormal in it. If she can afford it, why not. If she could not afford it, then don't bring it up.

She clearly couldn't afford it hence the reason why the thread was opened.
If she did it for love then surely her BF's character wouldn't be a topic on NL.
She had a problem with lending him money, cooking for him all the time while he spends his money on kebab et al.
People don't seek for attention because they need emotional check.