₦airaland Forum

^ lol. funny but good point.

^ I wonder if he has family members because they would have taken him to a mental health specialist a long time ago.
sometimes I don't mind his posts. they are comic relief at best. but the maps are so annoying. I hope mods do something about it. it's not fun having to scroll through tens of useless goggle maps to see actual posts in a topic.
I'm actually surprised he hasn't posted any yet and I hope he keeps it that way.

no legs would be easier. there are wheel chairs and walking sticks to use as substitute for legs and feet
but there are no substitute for hands and especially fingers!!! very important body parts.

Becomrichn:
Jenifa_ I dont think you are nigerian. It is hard to explain nigeria issue with people who are not nigerian. You see, the best way to explain is for you to see Tribalism= racism. Tribalism and racism are the same thing. majority of Nigerian are like members of the KKK. That is the best explaination I can give.

see me see wahala o. even our own resident schizophrenic becomerich is opening his wide mouth.
don't let me curse you becomerich. ok? be very careful

but sriously you have a lot of time on your hands looking in my profile.

[quote author=Kilode?! link=topic=589476.msg7572772#msg7572772 date=1295564433]The way some people confuse love with lust. . .
Equilateral lover, Bro-in-Law cannot love you. He's incapable.
Bro-in-Law is fine with just bleeping you, your sister, your friends and maybe una unborn pikins too
Anyway, like Madam Chaircover suggested, get a BF;
This problem, like most girlie problems, can be easily solved by a strong virile youngman. You don't even need to leave the house
Stop acting like one innocent 16 year old, you know you are a freak, share your talent with a good young man and the lust for bro-in-law will disappear!
This one na Hints Magazine stuff. . .Toni Kan will be proud.[/quote]hehehehhehe 
OP/3triangle, I hope you are listening.

but I think this one will be into older men. she loves gifts.
abi Aristos no dey LASU?
even allen avenue dey dere. just wear makeup to cover your face. no one will recognize you as the "innocent" one they see in your aunty's house.

[quote author=Ileke-IdI link=topic=589851.msg7573547#msg7573547 date=1295582051]I used to say that to make myself feel good when they talk about how undeveloped African Industrial sectors are lol[/quote]hahhaha so true. same here

at least they are contributing to less global warming.

PhysicsMHD:
You can't say "liberal arts" with as powerful a sneer and with as much derision in your voice as you can "arts."
That's probably the root of it all. Anyway "arts" is a more accurate term actually. Liberal arts actually included science in olden times.

hhahaha that is my guess too but I didn't want to say anything.  before they come back with their "you are wrong" lectures.

I thought biology is required? I agree though that maybe more science should be included if there isn't enough.
even here in US, although most students pick their subjects in college, usually only the minimum in science is required for liberal arts students. many go through university without setting eyes on chemistry or other science classes. lol  but it is required in high school though so I guess that makes up for it.

what OP is failing to mention is that many of these women are becoming independent and focusing on their careers because nowadays, men are not as serious anymore. many are jobless and unemployed or not even getting an education. fact: women outnumber men in schools.
you can't have both husband and wife being unemployed. at the end of the day, someone has to pay the bills. if the guy is refusing to be a man then the woman has no choice but to be independent. because otherwise who is she going to be dependent on? who is going to take care of her and her kids if she doesn't wisen up and learn to be independent?

to me, the problem lies in the fact that very few men are willing to play role women played traditionally  although many women are very willing to play the role of the traditional man. in essence there is a lack of balance.
now that women are able to play both traditional roles of man and woman, they feel that they don't need men anymore. But in truth, it is best for both to work together

trust me, many women will quit their careers tomorrow if they can find a husband who is making enough money to sustain the family.
I personally am ready to quit my schooling if I meet a sixfigure salary man tomorrow (i kid i kid but you get the idea).
otherwise, I will continue to focus on my career and aim to achieve independence. if I find a guy so be it, if not, so be it also.
I think women are adapting to this 21st century system and economy better than men are which is a shame.

you see over here we go and borrow any amount of money in the banks without security. I can go and borrow $500,000  to buy a house if I want. a 21 years can go and borrow $500,000 to buy a house. Why, because they have a system in place. And it is that system. I want to bring to Nigeria.

becomerich. what cave are you living in that you have not yet heard about mortgage crisis?
carry your system to benin republic plz. lol

i want to see your pic as well. post it please? lol

Rarestar:
Nothing is stopping from having one, there are a lot of guys out there. My post here was signifying being pressured to just have one regardless of anything instead of taking my time and chill. The pressure.

oh i see.
so, pressure aside, do you genuinely want a boyfriend?
if yes, get one. if no,make new friends. trust me, there are many single girls your age out there. i'm not lying. lol

lol.
anyway sha, thanks for the "naija parlance" 101
anymore naija speak I need to know?

but what's the aversion to the use of the term "liberal arts" to cover what natasha is studying anyways? yea naija call it "arts" but it's still liberal arts. different slangs same definition. ain't it? or is there something else I need to know about this?

Rarestar:
i quite agree with you but eventually you would still feel it as time goes by and more of your friends are getting hooked.

Yes I have had 2 serious relationships

I also find some of my friends getting hooked but I also find more who are breaking up or who are single. It's all a matter of what you choose to focus on and the types of friends you have.
my advice is for you to go and work on your self esteem issues.  learn to love yourself. you seem like one of those girls who need a guy in her life in order to validate her self worth.
but if it makes you happier or less depressed, then get a boyfriend. what's stopping you? 

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Get a new boyfriend so you can tell them you have one.[/color]

best answer so far!! succinct and to the point.

i'm going to have to start reporting you to the moderators because this is getting serious. last thing i want is a stalker

[quote author=Natasha,, link=topic=582709.msg7571319#msg7571319 date=1295547464]Well at last these were the subject i ended up with: English, Math, Biology which i made a c5 lol, Government, Economics, History, C.R.K, Literature and Agriculture. The fact is an art student has more of reading work to do every one knows this that is why i'll still give 90% blame to an art student[/quote]do you mean liberal arts or fine arts?

^ you are obviously very seriously obsessed with me to be following me around on every topic on this forum. can you mind your business and leave me alone for once?

[quote author=Natasha,, link=topic=582709.msg7564360#msg7564360 date=1295459107]i'm an art student[/quote]so art = liberal arts? gotcha
I was thinking of fine arts which to me should require more than reading.

anyways, congrats on your results.
I don't think all the students should be blamed for their failure but I'll respect your opinion nevertheless.

the one and only mobo. ever ready to diss every one on the planet.
the black ladies are single and lonely. the black gentlemen are cheaters and philanderers. so what do we do?
what is the solution to the problem?

haha what a clown.

so what's his crime?
when did it become against nigerian law to dress as a woman?

even women are getting arrested in naija for wearing mini-skirt. what a country.

Tsiya:
of course I know means friends but it is derogatory.

It is just like a white man calling black Nigger in America

or Hausa calling Igbo Inyamiri

Moreover Im not Hausa

wow thats interesting. I've been called aboki by an hausa man before. should I be offended?

what does inyamiri mean?
and what ethnicity are you?

naijafrend:
@ unsure girl
It takes years for some people to get actually invovled and become passionate in these activities (I'm talking from personal experience here)
Did you guys have a honeymoon?
Why don't you talk to your hubby about this problem ? Maybe he is totally unaware that you are not happy with the s*x life.
Work pressure (I mentioned it in my previous post as well) and other things could be on his mind as well ,

If he is already aware of it, then give it some more time and see how things work out and if you still have a problem, next time you travel, meet a therapist , that should see an end to your woes !

Btw, what did you tell you pa-in-law about the fight? I'm sure the man would have asked you what led to the slap? just curious

i was wondering the same.
@unsure girl, I definitely won't advice you to leave your husband (at least not yet). You guys just need to have a good long talk that's all and learn to understand each other's wants and need. this can't happen if one person is too stubborn to listen and vice versa. and it won't happen overnight either. I think you should try to repair what has gone wrong in the non-sexual part of the r/s before trying to fix the sex part for now. figure out how to get along first and then later when he has come around you can gently bring up the sex.

btw, I thought he was nigerian since this is a nigerian website. what brings you here?
nairaland is getting more and more international by the day. na wa o.

unsuregirl:
I am not a european ,  I am a hindu. And its very common for hindus to practise chastity before marriage. We had done everything before marriage but not sexual intercourse. I reply to your post just so that you stop thrusting your opinions around on an open forum

I doubt if he is cheating since I always know where he is. He was not that kind of guy. And I dunno if he has sexual problems or if he is gay. He just does not seem to get it right and that is okay if he is willing to make much of an effort but that does not seem to be the case. He tries and gives up. Does not realize that this is going to be an important aspect of our marriage and he has no choice but to treat it as important as it is. I do give him hand jobs ( i find blow jobs politically incorrect , so i can't) and i always try to please him but he just can't do it,

wow. this is new.
are you in the US or UK?

your case is really serious. well he seems to have sexual dysfunction (or whatever the term is). I really don't know what to say in that case.
how ironic though.

MOBO444:
I wish i could do more, I wish the law here could allow us marry more wives, we have so many single ladies in London, Mancheter, Birmingham, Aberdeen, they are growing old day by day, we cant allow this to go own, our women are wasting their lives here in England wearing jeans and short top every day with no man in their life.

eeya. mobo has a heart.
even if the law allowed you to marry more wives, I don't think these women are interested though. nobody wants to be second wife.
btw. do these women have kids? menopause is around the corner shebi?

[quote author=Area_boy link=topic=588646.msg7561767#msg7561767 date=1295433200]you are making this thing sound like its the fault of the Nigerian women. I'll tell u, more than 30% of the British white female haven't heard those words in a while too.

the thing is, their society is totally different from ours. the moon will have to fall off the sky before a British man toasts a random woman on the street. its really not their style and i think that's a shame. they are more "chance relationship" type. that's why they have a million dating sites to help their population find love.

on the other hand, the average Nigerian guy in Lagos or anywhere else will toast anything. our girls are used to it, and they come to the uk and still expert that? fa fa fa? foul!![/quote]this is so true though.

I will advice these naija women (if they can't find a naija man) to be proactive and try to make as many oyinbo friends as possible. maybe one will blossom into a marriage. lol

unsuregirl:
Ofcourse this was not the first time,  I would not be frustrated if it was a one time thing. Though that still does not justify pestering him for sex. But he has never been good at it. We have been trying for 2 months but he just does not know what to do. My outburst was a result of 2 months of suppressed sexual desires which he does nto seem to be considerate of.

ok. this here just added a new dimension to your story.
how long were you dating for? Did you wait till marriage to have intimacy? I don't think foreign women are that religious though/or against premarital sex. So did you know of this sexual incompatibility before marriage?

if it's always been a problem then he might be affected too. He's a guy after all so I don't think he's doing int on purpose.  maybe he has sexual problems and is too embarrassed to talk about it? Or is he cheating?

ujujoan

yea. it's going to take a whole lot of work and effort but it is possible.  I don't support co-habitation but I think they probably should have lived together before marriage. if problems are cropping up less than 2mths into marriage, something tells me they didn't understand each other well before marriage.
marriage is a lot about compatibility. you are going to be living together for life!!!

unsuregirl:
Nobody actually kicked or screamed for sex. I doubt if anyone on the face of earth would do that. Ofcourse, my husband hurt me physically to avoid having sex. And you would understand why somebody would be frustrated for sex if you (god forbid) were not sexually happy in your marriage.
And what does it have to do with 2 months or 2 years or 20 years. Such a thing should never happen.

2 mths is too early. you guys are still supposed to be in honeymoon phase. if you are slapping each other now, how do you expect things to be in 20yrs?
what do you mean by "not sexually happy in your marriage" at just 2mths!? so this wasn't a one night thing? does it happen frequently? when did it start?

I think you should try a marriage counselor because the problem seems to be a lot more complex than I thought.

Ujujoan:
Lol . . . me? I never marry oh . . . but I doubt if that would even matter!

ha ok. because that one na serious matter o. "sir" for husband. hmm

^ haha i figured that out from the start.
first I don't imagine a nigerian wife kicking and screaming the whole house just because she wants to have se[size=1pt].[/size]x. I know it may happen but I just can't imagine it.
and then the whole he twist my arm, I kicked him, he slap she slap just sounded too immature to me. lol like two little kids who don't get each other at all. no offense
and then the "should I leave my marriage right away?" line. just convinced me she must not be nigerian. she's been married for just 2 mths for christ sake.

but now, I know I'll even put 'sir' sef if that's what he wants!

what? hehn? what's the age difference?  



---
and yea I agree with ujujoan. no matter how harsh and mean jennykadry sounds, there are some morsels of advice that could be useful for your marriage. she has the experience.

^ that might also be part of the reason. I think you need to learn to be fiercer.  . . in a "submissive" way. I don't know how to describe it. but I knew you most likely were not nigerian from the start.

your husband doesn't respect you much I don't think. You need to be stricter with him in a sensible way.

everyone already jumping on her and cursing her full force. chei  

unsuregirl:
Probably I don't know the ways of the world. Hence, I am asking this question,  Is it true that a man deserves respect by being a man and just cause of his half Y chromosose? I heard this from a few people and I am not asking this to argue about it but I genuinely had never given that a thought before. I had thought that one has to earn respect irrespective of their genders. I doubt if either of us in my marriage deserves to be respected. But again, respect a man for being born a man Really?

yea. that is the "nigerian way" I put nigerian way in quotation because even though we say this, the fact of the matter is that nigerian women can be fierce and I know many nigerian women that don't seem like they would tolerate any rubbish from their husbands (jenny kadry seem like one of those whose husband would be too scared to even try to raise his fingers on her). lol
i've been suspecting from the start that you may not be nigerian. or haven't lived in nigeria for long. are you?

the way people say be submissive and you'll have a peaceful home etc. I mean what's the point of having a peaceful home when you are sacrificing your dignity by being a slave to your husband? To me respect is earned not a male entitlement only.
it's normal to have fights and arguments. but yea this was a big one but I hope you will sort through the advice that's applicable to your situation and those that are not.

but I hope you learned your lesson though.