₦airaland Forum

tensor777:
That again is highly subjective as I am sure people that passed through exactly the same primary and secondary schools passed. You know I don't know where you are heading to in this discussion as you seem to have an axe to grind. Anyway seems like you and Atreides schooled in Lagos where the facilities are still reasonable.
How many students in Lagos State do you know that would blame their substandard performance on government?

Anyway did you not read in Atreides post that she actually worked through past questions and disregarded illegal shortcuts?

I'm not saying there aren't students that could have passed if they studied harder. I'm sure there are many.
my point is that 80% fail rate is WAY to high to blame on careless students. something is wrong there.

even abroad in most schools schools (and i'm sure you probably know this), teachers know something is wrong when there is such a high fail rate. they scrap the scores and give students a chance to re-take the exam after going over the subject again to make sure student understand.
otherwise, they scale the grades.

are you saying students should self-teach themselves? so what's the point of going to school?
the fact that only a few students worked through past questions shouldn't lead to 80% fail rate. It just means that the high achievers that studied hardest will pass with flying colors while those that didn't study as hard will do averagely. Those that fail will be those that were not doing well in class (if the content of the exam reflects what the students are learning in school) and why should 80% not be doing well in class?

even in my primary school (I attended a good private school), the least smart student in our class passed common entrance with above average scores because our teacher was preparing all of us for the exam from the beginning of pry6.

shouldn't illegal shortcuts lead to higher scores? which means that without illegal shortcuts, pass rates will have been lower which means that the situation is actually worse!!

@tensor,
I hear you. I didn't attend a rural secondary school so I don't know much abt that. so where do you get your own expert knowledge on rural schools? kobojunkie attended a school in a rural area anyway and she commented on her experience. I would like to see your respond to her post.

anyways, so explain to us in detail what your "peace corp" program vision is.  

for me, I maintain that govt ought to do something about the primary school education because a good education foundation is the most important for life. Primary education should be priority. secondly, govt should invest more in sec. schools and develop a maintenance culture. you can't just build it and run away. Likewise, they should improve pay for teachers and also implement a monitoring system to track teacher performance.

I really don't understand why you are so adamant in your opinion that govt doesn't need to do anything about the current education system. anyway sha

Atreides:
Erm,sorry,who said Atreides would be surprised to know that most people don't have access to smartphones et al? I know there are poor people in Nigeria,but there are cyber-cafes everywhere. There are 8,000 naira phones that browse. Both rich and poor kids browse,so both categories are distracted by it. Both rich and poor kids watch t.v,so both categories can be distracted by them. Both rich and poor kids watch football,so both categories can be distracted by them. The main problem is not the government(although it's a part of it) but the attitudes of the students towards their own educations and lack of proper priorities. As bad as the system is,it still produces people who pass the exams. The difference between the 20% who passed and the 80% who failed lies in their attitudes/mindsets because some under the same educational system still passed. FYI,i am not part of the 'privileged few'. I don't know how things were in your time but now,the Command schools are definitely NOT 'big man' schools.

eh sorry ma. in my days, there weren't cyber-cafes everywhere. pele ma binu. but exam scores weren't better either. I guess students were using other means of distraction.
I think it will be nice to disaggregate the scores by school to help understand where the problem lies. Are queens college students doing better than command school students? are command school students doing better than gbagada girls local sec school students etc.

do you know the common entrance exam pass rates? ex. how many students meet the average cut off score?
I know there are higher cut off scores for federal schools like command and such. so that brighter students are selected in. Yea I know the schools don't have stellar infrastructure but the quality of education is most likely better and the quality of students also better local grammar schools.

maybe in your school, your classmates failed because they didn't set their priorities right.
but in mine, I can't blame them because many don't even have the potential to pass in the first place because they didn't get the proper education required starting from primary school. I'm sure your one month of cramming depended on stuff you have learned for years.

to me, our different experiences contribute our differing opinion on the subject matter.

depends.
same with girls. the bad girls seem to get carried to the alter first while the good virgin girls are still 30 and unmarried. lol

you can be nice but it's good to be smart at the same time.

oyinbo85:
well i dont know if he slept with her when she came or whatever. i only said i found two texts he sent to her. and he denied sleeping with her, he only said that when they met again he felt for her again and that it was only for a while and that its gone now.

and for the condoms i saw them in his bag and when i checked again after some weeks they were still there - same quantity. so its like im not sure, maybe they were there even since we started having sex and we were using condoms at the beginning or he just collected them for the gp as they give them for free.
im 24 and dont know whats the point of this topic anymore lol

I guess we're thinking of "cheating" in different ways then. if he's sending "i love you" "i want to be with you forever" text to another girl. that's cheating to me. lol and you will never know whether he slept with her or not. I guess that's not for you to find out anytime soon.

I think you should ask him about the condoms. at least let him know that you know and make him understand that it is not something you would tolerate. many men cheat because they have wives or gf that condone it. So let him know very soon that it is not something you would tolerate. use threats if you will.
what other things were in his work bag? why would he put condoms in his work bag if he doesn't use them? take them out and confront him about it to know the truth. don't just "guess" and assume that he got them for free from work and forgot them there. lol

he might not be sleeping around after all, from what you have explained. or at least you have explained in a way that gives him a benefit of doubt. but still be careful. I personally suspect he is cheating.

hahaha at you not knowing the point of this topic anymore. I feel the same. 

you should do it for your health not for men.
besides, size 2 is pretty small.size 4-8 seem a better choice.
a normal weight is the best. not to fat, not to skinny.

that's good. because otherwise I would have suggested you be careful since many foreigners are looking for greencard and use marriage solely to obtain it.

I have forgiven him, but its still in my mind. there are days i just stay in all by myself and cry causa ive been so hurt. I lost my trust to him. I even found some condoms in the bag he takes to his workplace even though we dont use them. I dont know how long they ve been there for though. And i dont want to ask him about that cause hes gonna tell me they ve been tere for 3 years!  And hes a ladies girl so he receives millions of calls and texts from girls. I used to laugh it off but now everytime his phone rings im dying inside cause im thinking it must be her. I dont tell him about that though cause dont want to nag him.

Anyway I love him very much and would like to really marry him. But i want to have a peaceful, nice life, dont want to be worried everyday that hes cheating on me.

he cheated on you with his "ex-girlfriend" when she came to visit him from nigeria.
and you find condoms in the bag he takes to work everyday.
obviously he is cheating on you and most likely will continue to cheat on you in the future.

so what is your question again?  if you should marry him?
do what suits you. but this is not a "nigerian" issue. cheating is not a nigerian issue and lots of whites commit adultery.
what the point of this topic again? 
we should decide for you if you should stay with a cheating bf?  how old are you?

na wa o. funny stories sha hahahahah

adim2:
In the case of infidelity both male and female don't forgive and definitely forgetting is not an option most especially when you were caught in the act. in Africa female tends to pretend like they forgive because of the patriarchy system being operated in the family and also the environment makes it very easy for a married woman to forgive the husband than for a married man. my assumption still remains that if you say you forgive somebody it shouldn't be a reference point whenever an issue comes up. you can forgive other sins but this sins listed below are unforgivable
murder
infidelity
steal(at gunpoint and bankruptcy)
backstabbing
We can only claim that we have forgiven but when being hit with a situation my dear you will not that truly you have not forgiven the person.

I agree. but I think people can forgive. but it's definitely very difficult to forget.
and to think women forgive and forget easily is wrong. they just pretend to, like you mention, because they may have no other choice.

you definitely hit the nail on the head.

Change the title of your post to "can my nigerian boyfriend ever be faithful to me"
your current title is pretty stereotypical and offensive to say nigerian men can't ever be faithful to an oyinbo.
just because your bf is cheating on you don't mean all nigerian men are cheating on their oyinbo gf.


btw does he have his greencard? how old is he?



lol@tpia's post.

Oladiran:
@tsiya, i think the prblm s that u are seeing the reflection of your own personality in others. Pls do not withdrawn nto your shell bcus of this! If anybody rebuf u, laugh t off and try another, soon u wil discover a very frindly southern nigerian. Try both sexes though, hahaha,

erm. . . meaning?

Atreides:
I think it's 3 months or something. The guy is just 2 years older than her so i don't see how he'll be able to take care of them. He said the decision was hers and that whatever choice she made he'd stand by it. P.s-i cannot advice her to have an abortion because i don't believe in abortion.

I mean if she herself chooses to go for an abortion.

An adult needs to be involved. If she's too scared to tell her parents, she should find someone she can confide in. maybe a teacher or aunty. or even the boyfriend's mom.

Missy85:
Following weeks of riots by youths fed up with unemployment, alleged govt corruption, Tunisian President, who had been in power for 23yrs has FLED the country.

A lesson in people power?

Can we achieve in Nigeria what Tunisian youths have achieved for themselves or is the fear of death an impregnable barrier to fighting our own cause?

Pls provide a link if you can - I cant with my mobile.

!!!!! good question!!

social media played a role too. I think it is possible. It reminds me of the lightupnaija fad a while ago.
to me, if they put effort to it, the youth can be mobilized to do great things.

how old is the pregnancy?
If she doesn't want it, I think she should abort it (with a very qualified doctor)!! and learn her lesson.

otherwise, her stay with the consequence. but that means kissing goodbye to her education. what does her boyfriend say? is he ok with marriage/child-rearing and such? because she needs to hold his collar so he doesn't run away. don't let him run away from his responsibilities.


you can only advice her, but it's up to her to make her decisions.

justwise:
You have demoralised him already, you should have known better, he can't grow a bigger one 2moro, he was created like that by God, his confident will be at the lowest level and who knows how he will get over it. Since you have the memory of a big one and probably used to a big one, could it be that your kitty has lost its grip?

come on, be nice. the OP would have left him a long time ago if that was d case.
besides you probably will be here with ur own thread if you found yourself in love with a boobless/butt less babe.  

^ good for you.

[quote author=n-guage link=topic=586092.msg7536779#msg7536779 date=1295075533]Another explanation for why Nigerian men are more"romantic" when they're with their non Nigerian wives is that many people try to be culturally sensitive and people try to adapt culturally.
If I'm in a house where I see people feeding each other, I will feed the person next to me.[/quote]true. they are merely adapting to the foreign culture. and even still, not all do. I've seen posts here where foreign wives complain that their nigerian husbands are not romantic enough.

It is also normal that men who marry western wives try to copy western men in typical western relationships.

this is where the problem probably lies. To most Nigerians, when a man marries outside of the tribe, it is the wife's duty to assimilate into the husband culture. rather than the husband assimilating into the wife's culture.
but what do you do when you are in a society where your wife's culture is dominant?

that's why I came up with a theory that most intercultural/interracial marriages happen between males of the dominant culture and females of the minority culture. this is considering that both cultures are patriarchal.
within a matriarchial dominant culture, the wife marries someone of a minority culture
within a matriarchical minority culture, the male marries someone in the dominant culture.

the aim of this is for both dominant and minorities to preserve their cultures within the society.

Ranoscky:
Nearly 20 percent of the female students at Memphis's Frayser High are having babies (90 pregnancies) !!!

who impregnated them? the holy spirit?

[quote author=eku_bear link=topic=582709.msg7536753#msg7536753 date=1295075083]@Jenifa_: Trying to finish up grad school, yes.[/quote]cool.
are you an international student?

Kobojunkie:
I went to a rural school myself, but many of  my teachers came from the township (about an hour to the school each way every day -- matter of fact, I did too since I lived in the main town). And this was after I had spent years in one of the top private schools back then. I rode to school every other day with the principal and there was not much difference between the teachers in my rural school and those in the township schools. We, the students all had the same issues . . . . lol But back then, qualify was much much better than what you have today. I mean our teachers actually knew their subjects well enough back then and were respected.

yea no doubt the situation is deteriorating every day. I wonder how things are now after I left. And thing were bad before I left.
In fact the article about the millennium (MDG) schools was a pity because I was thinking things were changing. until I'm now reading the bad news of their demise.

i.i jst met a fine full figured sexy sister some 2 days back, she doesnt even know ma surname and now shes asking me for funds for ne stuff or d other,

next time, look for an ugly, figureless babe. abi? lol  
someone to match your bank account.

to me, girls go for money in the same vein men go for looks.
so both genders are shallow!

hahaha @ pics.
abeg make we leave them alone sha. what do we gain from bashing their union?

fstranger1:
Nah, I plan on going back once i am done paying my ridiculous student loan. I havent given up on project Nigeria. I still want to be a senator some day, milk the ND of its oil.    .     .   you know what i am talking about!

lol. so much like you.
ekubear, you're in college too?

Many of the schools in the urban areas suffer the same lot those in the rural areas do.

So to be clear, this rural (unqualified) /urban (qualified) teachers in public system does not scenario.

@kobojunkie, that's what I'm trying to tell him. I also attended a local school in lagos so I know that if the quality is better than in the rural area, the the schools in the rural area might as well cease to exist. lol

I was just giving him the benefit of doubt because I didn't attend a school in the rural area and it sounds like he must have.
o gbo @tensor, did you attend a rural  secondary school? 

It is either you are lying or you just wrote that to save face. Even the most uninformed student would tell you that they knew about junior WAEC long before the sat for it. And, BTW, the school make you register for it and per WAEC requirement, registration is done months and months before you sit for it.

if i wrote it to save face then it must be a lie not so?
I don't think the school make you register for it.  the school didn't even have a proper system of tracking us. lol Maybe the ones that didn't register will drop out and i'm sure many students drop out because my JSS3 class was smaller than the SS1 class.
Registration is how many months before? In my experience sha, when the school started calling us to come and register, I just regarded it as one of another required milestone exams. Nothing serious. no body was talking about waec around me or studying for it.

I went to a local grammer school in naija and these are worse than federal schools where you have to have a certain common entrance score to get into. You may consider your federal school to be low quality but trust me, it's 10x better than a local school.

I don't consider myself silly but I also failed most of my end of the term exams throughout JSS. these are lagos state govt exams. I always came out first position (naija education system uses ranking in the report card) so that means that the whole class also failed.

Many English teachers cannot write two paragraphs of errorless English.

how was their primary school education. Like I said, the solution lies in reforming the education system starting from nursery+primary school level. there is nothing like a good foundation for education.
many also do not have English as their first language. How do we reconcile that? And no, the solution isn't in importing teachers.we can't even afford that!! lol

No one on this thread as brought up ESL and it is very silly of you to equate ESL with real education.

then obviously you have no inkling what peace corp members do. the ones involved in education are teaching English in rural areas. I have a few peace corp friends. And I was courted to join by one of their recruiters.

There are some very experienced mature ones who do research but they are few in number. Not many white people who have comfortable jobs abroad will volunteer 2 yrs of their live to go to a 3rd world country unless there are incentives for it. Does the govt have money to do that?
Even the US govt. has to provide housing and stipend for these volunteers. Can nigerian govt. afford such?

sometimes I feel like there is no point arguing with you because no body can change my mind and nobody can change yours. let's drop the subject shall we?

At my secondary school, out of 385 students that registered for WAEC, only 12 of us made C6 and above, a 3% pass rate, and that was 11 years ago.
Well, i went to poorly funded state school in the middle of nowhere and fortunately for my luck the school was situated right in the middle of  a battle zone. And despite that, I knew, as were my classmates, about junior WEAC right from JSS1. So i am not one of the "privileged few," that is even if you understand the meaning of the phrase with regards to its  contextual applicability to Nigeria

well, at your poorly funded school, only 12 students passed out of 385 students. need I say any thing more?
The 372 students were no doubt all st[size=1pt].[/size]upid lazy pigs.

I will henceforth stop responding to your posts on this thread.

You may have had bad experiences in Naija, some of us did not, and we still see something good about the country and are willing to help out, not just criticizing unnecessarily.

I see good things about the country too. I had the best social life in that local school I went. imagine going for days without our teachers showing up for class. we played all day!! lots of fun.

tensor777:
Jenniifer you sound clever so I am sure you can do better than this. Trust me there are a surfeit of qualified teachers  or at least graduates  available to teachin high schools in the main urban areas in Nigeria. The rural areas are very different because of lack of business opportunities and infrastructure.
I did not say it would solve Nigeria's problem whatever that means but that it would go a long way towards bridging the manpower shortage? Anyway what is the alternative as you cannot force people to stay in the rural schools.
Privatisation won't work as there are poverty issues which cannot be wished away. How would the school pay teachers' salaries for instance?
Be that as it may,just carry out more first hand research and you will find out more about the system.

plz don't patronize me. I find it quite offensive actually.
I didn't say there aren't qualified teachers AVAILABLE. The problem is, if they don't get paid, they WON'T teach. Why take up teaching if there is better money to be earned doing a petty business? If we really want teachers in rural areas, we give the "surfeit" in the urban areas more incentive and they will go. Or better still, build universities in rural areas so students can stay.  I'm sure you learned economics in school.
who's job is it to provide all these infrastructures? pay teachers salaries? etc?

and I can't believe you mention manpower shortage in Nigeria. are you KIDDING me?  and like kobojunkie already mentioned, we have NYSC. why haven't you mentioned this volunteer program in any of your posts?
I really don't know what your argument is really.

Atreides:
@Jenifa,yup,i attended Command. I just found it hard to believe that a Nigerian woudn't know what Waec/Jamb is. Well,Jamb is taken after secondary school and before Uni. It is the first part of an entrance exam of sorts;the other is Post-Ume.

some of my classmates from primary school went to command. lol surprising ain't it. lol
and really sad too.

fstranger1:
^^^^

Actually peace corp can go along way in helping solve the situation, if well implemented.


You left Naija before junior WAEC, I think its best you keep your opinion to what you know best. It seems you are more Jenifa than Sikira, and there is nothing bad in that. Just that you'd do yourself a lot of good if you stopped spewing crap  on the WWW on something you absolutely have no clue about.

Your parents may have taught in two different schools, that is not the issue here. The problem here is that you have no idea what you are talking about. For someone who left weeks before her JSS final exam to not know about junior WAEC is just ludicrous. Your opinion might be better appreciated in the Romance section, definitely not here.

well implemented by who? as far as i'm concerned, it is a US implemented program not a Nigerian one. US isn't going to deploy a mass of volunteer american teachers to Nigeria just because we ask. I really don't know what kool-aid you and tensor are on.
I have friends who went to ghana and tanzania for peace-corps because they couldn't find a job here for the time being after graduation and they wanted to travel. and they say that they didn't feel they made much impact because of lack of resources and support they had as "teachers". they taught local children in the rural areas english which is nice. but that's not a substitute for REAL education.
I am also a local ESL teacher. This isn't substitute for real education. besides, who will be able to measure my impact? who can monitoring me to see if i'm teaching well or not if i am a volunteer?

Even the mere need for peace corp volunteers just goes to show that our system of education is in a terrible state and is mostly ignored by the government.  

For someone who left weeks before her JSS final exam to not know about junior WAEC is just ludicrous.

The fact that you don't believe me tells a lot.
I tell you WAEC wasn't in our vocabulary in JSS3 a month before. no teacher ever came into our class to tell us we had an exam to prepare for.

i'm sure atreides will also be surpised to learn that majority of JSS3 students in naija don't have access to the smartphones, 24/7 facebook and YIM etc that shes blaming to be the cause of the high fail rate.

you guys just happen to be the privileged minority.

but of course you know all about the education system. Even politicians whose kids are schooling abroad are the ones deciding our education policies. they know better than those who experienced it.
why isn't it surprising?

Atreides:
I was just thinking if she's not Nigerian then why is she commenting on a topic that concerns the standard of education in Nigeria? And if she is Nigerian then how will she not know what Jamb is? And no,i didn't attend the military school in Abeokuta. I went to the one in Lagos. It's not a boarding school-it's day.

I'm nigerian. I attended a local secondary school in lagos but I left nigeria a couple of weeks before the junior waec. Both my parents taught previously in two different secondary schools. And our close neighbor was also a teacher in a local secondary school (although her husband was in Germany). So I think i'm in just as much position as you are to comment on the standard of education. 
And why don't you just answer my question. I know JAMB is taken after you graduate from sec school before attending UNI. I just want to confirm.
did you attend command day sec school ikeja?

@tensor777,
lol. to me, you are the one who lack knowledge. of course there will be lack of qualified teachers in the rural areas. even in the urban areas, there is a lack of qualified staff talkless of rural areas where there is less benefits for education and compensation for teachers. so I don't get your point.

and your opinion that peace-corp will solve nigeria's problem is extremely ridiculous. I don't even know what to say. hahahaha no comment.
I thought you were going to say privatizing our education system. because under a public school system, it is GOVERNMENT controlled!! that's very obvious so I don't know why you are arguing that.

what is jamb for? is that the university entrance exam?

wow some people on here married quite early.
I used to think I want to be married by 25. But now, I think I prefer to marry at 28. I want to be done with school and settled in a career. Is this a good idea? I couldn't care less about guys right now but I feel I may regret this years down the line.
what if you don't meet the perfect guy early in life? should you settle for less?

jennykadry:
Now let me ask you and dayokanu

1. How does a man's libido work?apart from having a nagging wife and infact having a wife that drives you into the arms of another woman, what exactly do men see in women that makes them cheat on their partners?

high testesterone is one reason. it raises libido
ex. atheletes/ macho types esp. have higher infidelity rates.

apparently, during a woman's pregnancy, the spouse's testesterone lowers to prepare him to become a caring father.
it's interesting how hormones are contageous. ex if you live with a couple of women, you will find that you all have your periods at the same time of the month. it's crazy.

I don't know what to say.
I read an article about a 14 yr old boy despoiling a 60+yr old woman in the news sometime ago.

I think our boys need to be brought up better. They need to be trained.
We spend a lot of time talking to our daughters about the dangers of sex and boys but say nothing to our male children or do less to protect/teach them.

what was he even thinking!! I will have to agree with chaircover here. maybe he is being sexually abused by an older girl?