₦airaland Forum

Skepticus:
Personally, it's a reason I'm wary and cautious of addressing rich men as "alpha" (I hate to use that word but for the sake of clearing some things up, I'll use it here). Though, they are alpha by the standard of men just like the guy who could lift or squat the heaviest in the room, the guy(s) at the top ladder of a corporate organization, the guy who could get the most girls in the neighbourhood or on campus (whether he attracts them naturally or "rents" them as prostitutes).

Where men get it wrong is that what men consider as "alpha" is different on a deeper level than what "alpha" means to women (when dealing with women). With money, status or some other above-average talent/skill, men can pass off as alpha to other men even if they are natural betas and expectedly, attract women easily than the average joe. Men are impressionable at the surface. Since men get intimate with women than men, and with women having the natural conditioning to spot qualities that escape the attention of men, women expose men better. That's the reason why a guy who has achieved so much in wealth and status (what men consider "alpha" on a basic level) having control over millions of men who admire him and look up to him, is such a weak beta vagina being disrespected by his wife, girlfriends or women around him (though his wealth and status makes it easier to attract women who see him as a rich beta provider) much to the shock of the men who admire and look up to him.

The reasons for artisans being red pill at base level in relationship to women is that they learn skills/trades that are predominantly male, environment is traditionally conservative and date/marry women early, who, though hypergamous, have their hypergamy within their social class where they are looked up to as dominant patriarchs. They may not be rich but most have the basics necessary for a man which is shelter, food and a work that brings in money. I know more red pill aware artisans at base level than rich, highly educated men.

I have shared your sentiment earlier. I'll look for it and drop it once again. For those you who are seeking marriage or relationship with a woman where you are contributing partners but you, take the leadership role, you don't have to abandon education or not seek to make more money, but learn from these artisans and tweak the knowledge from their love life to suit your style.

FitCorper:
When I hear guys saying they love their girlfriends and can’t do without them, immediately I know they have the scarcity mindset. Make urself ur priority and work hard on urself (hit the gym, learn a high income skill, elevate ur status, work on ur confidence and tidy ur hygiene+grooming) get these right and u will know there are still babes who approach guys even in Nigeria.

Benee1000:
I understand your points, and I agree with most of them.
However, the idea of men avoiding marriage as a panacea against the annexation or incorporation of gynocentric laws in African states, I believe will only make matters worse.

Suggesting men avoid women altogether for sex and children, strips him of an instinctive desire for sex, and a group (family) where even the least of men in the commercial world would have the opportunity to exercise his instinct for leadership, a major trait of masculinity.
See bros, this thing is about instinct, and not really about "E dey sweet them to born pikin and be the powerful and respected red-pill patriarch in a traditional setting".
It is a man's biological imperative, and only few men have the will power to go against it.

Also, the children of most unmarried or irresponsible parents, especially single mothers, make up a very large source of feminized males and beta simps, as well as masculine ladies and whores, and it is this group of people who are the problem of intergender relationships and society.
It is this group who instigate, formulate, and propagate these gynocentric laws, when in position of power and influence.

Marriage itself is not the problem, the problem is the transfer of the regulatory authority of the institution of marriage from the individuals, families of couples and their cultural traditions, to the state, which started from the church.

If Marriage is strictly between couples and their families, Why should the state be involved in it? why does the state recognize marriages, and have to issue certificates for it? should the state have the powers to annul marriages and issue divorce certificates?
why should the state regulate my choice on the number of persons I choose to have a personal relationship with? (think bigamy).
If on the basis of protecting human or children rights the state has to interfere in a couples private matter, why is the interference from the lens of "gender" and not from "human" perspective?

Marriage should be regulated by the individual's, family and cultural preferences, and not state laws because it is a personal and cultural matter, and not state matter.

Gynocentric laws exist and will apply to marriages or relationship when people choose to give the state, authority over their personal decisions, through court marriage, because these laws are made by bitter masculine ladies for vengeful purposes, as well with feminized males, and beta simps influenced by cheap pus.sy and validation.
I understand, these gynocentric state laws have now been so modified by these guys that it now even applies to live-in couples who avoid official state recognized marriage in western countries.
However, gynocentric state laws don't apply to traditional marriages or personal relationships, at least not in African states or states with strong cultural marriage traditions like south american and asian states.

The problem is not marriage in itself, because the solution is not avoiding marriage, this will only make the problem worse.
The problem is designating marriage as a state function rather than an individual, family and cultural function, and we know the solution to this.

tensazangetsu20:
Men have actually never been the gatekeepers of commitment. Only the top percent of men are. Most men aren’t desirable so they aren’t gatekeeping anything.

emmaodet:
I Believe Nigerian Men that are Poor "BEGGED" their Wives before they Agree to MARRY Them.
If you are rich or wealthy and have to beg a woman to marry you, then the issue is not about financial situation rather esteem issues.
If you are financially stable and averagely social, you will always have atleast 2 ladies in your hand at every point in time.
Ladies are not hard to get nor scarce, main issue for men are financial and long time of scarcity.
When a man has been exposed for too long to scarcity - inability to date for a very long time or no girlfriend for a very long time, it makes him appreciate little or no gifts or efforts from ladies and he is scared of losing a lady even if she is bad mannered. He is ready to manage or endure her.
He will be ready to take her bullshits.
Just a little kiss, he will always remember it or a little gift of singlet. He will remember the gesture for years. Something no one has ever given him.

Dpsychologist:
Let’s be honest—when it comes to relationships in Nigeria, the financial burden mostly falls on the man. It’s an unspoken rule that the guy should pay for dates, handle bills, send “urgent 2k,” and generally finance the relationship.

But here’s the real question: If your woman never spends on you, does she truly love you?

I’ve always believed that a woman who loves a man will spend on him—even if it’s just a little. It doesn’t have to be millions, but if she values you, she will make an effort to contribute, no matter how small.

Unfortunately, in Nigeria, at least 85% of relationships are completely one-sided financially. The man spends, the woman receives, and that’s just how it is.

But should it really be this way?


1. Are Nigerian Relationships One-Sided Transactions?

A lot of men don’t even question this dynamic. They’ve been raised to believe that being a provider is their duty, while a woman’s role is simply to exist and be taken care of.

Typical Nigerian relationships look like this:
✅ The man pays for dates.
✅ The man sends transport fare.
✅ The man handles rent.
✅ The man funds vacations, gifts, and “small business capital.”
✅ The man even pays her bills when she is not his wife yet!

Meanwhile, many women believe their beauty, presence, and affection are enough “payment” for everything the man does.

But is that love or entitlement? 🤔


2. Love vs. Transactional Relationships: What’s the Difference?

A loving woman naturally gives back in her own way. Even if she doesn’t earn as much, she will show appreciation through small gestures—maybe buying a gift, handling a bill, or just making sure the man feels valued too.

On the other hand, a transactional woman expects the man to do EVERYTHING while she only enjoys the benefits.

Signs of a transactional relationship:
❌ She never spends on you—no matter how small.
❌ She expects you to always pay, even when she has money.
❌ She never surprises you with gifts or thoughtful gestures.
❌ She gets upset when you say “I don’t have money right now.”
❌ She believes it’s a man’s job to provide while she just collects.

At this point, is it still a relationship or just a business arrangement?


3. If She Loves You, She Will Spend on You Too

Many men don’t realize this, but spending is a love language. When a woman truly cares about you, she will:
✅ Buy you small gifts—even if it’s just snacks or perfume.
✅ Pay for lunch sometimes, even if you insist on covering most dates.
✅ Support you when you’re broke instead of vanishing.
✅ Take initiative to make you feel appreciated.

It’s not about 50/50, but about effort. If she truly values you, she will reciprocate in some way.


4. Final Thoughts: Is She in Love or Just Enjoying the Benefits?

A lot of men are in relationships where they are sponsors, not lovers. They think they are being loved, but in reality, they are just being used.

So, ask yourself this: If she never spends on you, does she truly love you?

Or is she just there for the financial benefits?

Let’s discuss in the comments—what’s your experience with this?

Magnetic010:
Men are the biggest problem to themselves...Their are a lot of young girls who are jobless, or earn less than 500k a year, who came from poor or very poor background but meet them and talk to them; they will tell you they want a man who has this, that and many more...she doesn't want to settle for less, she wouldn't even date a guy without a car...where do you think she gets that audacity from?....Men...she knows that there are men out that willing to go above and beyond just to get her.

I have been in hospitality business for years now and bro I cannot even begin to tell you what I have witnessed...I have seen guys send 200k to girls just for her to agree to go out with them...I have seen guys buy a higher model of phone for girls just for her to leave who she is currently dating....


After all these madness and waste to get girls..what do you think will happens to their mentality? They become entitled...they feel it is their right to get everything from a man, the world revolves around them.so why expect her to give you her money, or care about your struggles when society and other men have made her understand that she is Queen and only thing she deserves is the "soft life".

Dpsychologist:
Let’s be honest—how do we convince young women that being a good girl pays when all they see online is men throwing millions at bad girls?

Everywhere you look—Instagram, TikTok, Twitter—you see women showing off luxury lifestyles:

✅ Exotic vacations
✅ Designer bags
✅ Expensive cars
✅ Wads of cash

The question is: Where is the money coming from?

Many young girls today believe their beauty is a business, that being a “baddie” is a career, and that selling themselves to the highest bidder is the fastest way to wealth. But what’s the real cost of this lifestyle?

1. Social Media is a Lie

The truth is, social media glorifies the fast life but hides the consequences. Young girls only see the rewards, not the:

❌ Emotional emptiness
❌ Reputation damage
❌ Lack of real love and security
❌ Dependence on men who see them as disposable

A 16-year-old scrolling through Instagram doesn’t know that many of these so-called “rich baddies” are secretly depressed, abused, and alone. She only sees the money.

2. The Dating Market Has Changed

Let’s be real: men are not blind. The more women treat relationships as business transactions, the more men refuse to take them seriously.

Men are waking up. They’re learning that:

✔ A woman who only values money will leave when it runs out.
✔ A woman who gives herself to the highest bidder loses long-term respect.
✔ The same men throwing money today will marry a woman with real values tomorrow.

At the end of the day, men respect what is rare. And right now, being a "good girl" is rare.

3. The Fast Life Has an Expiration Date

Prostitution, sugar baby culture, and hookup lifestyles have always existed. But what happens when beauty fades?

Many women who chase fast money end up broke, bitter, and alone.

🚨 Where are the 40-year-old slay queens?
🚨 Why do many ex-"baddies" disappear from social media?
🚨 Why do rich men rarely marry the women they spend money on?

Because once the fun is over, reality hits hard.

Final Thoughts: Choose Wisely

For young men: Stop simping. Stop rewarding women who only see you as a bank account. Focus on becoming a high-value man who can attract women who bring real value.

For young women: Think long-term. Fast money is exciting, but real power comes from stability, self-respect, and building something that lasts.

At the end of the day, money can buy attention, but it can’t buy respect. And without respect, what do you really have?

Dpsychologist:
In today’s world, the idea of rushing into marriage is one that many men are beginning to rethink. Gone are the days when a man felt pressured to tie the knot simply because "it's the next step in life." Now, men are realizing that marriage is not just a romantic affair—it’s a serious financial and emotional investment.

If you're thinking about getting married too soon, pause and ask yourself:

Are you financially stable enough to handle the responsibilities that come with marriage?

Do you truly understand the expectations society places on a husband?

Are you ready for constant billings, responsibilities, and liabilities?

Because if you’re not, you might just be signing up for a lifetime of stress, debt, and regret.


1. Marriage Comes with Heavy Responsibilities

Marriage is not just love and companionship. It’s a full-time job, and if you're not ready, it can break you.

Financial Pressure: In most societies, men are still expected to be the primary providers. Rent, school fees, groceries, emergencies—you name it.

Emotional Burden: A wife expects support, care, attention, and time. If you fail in these, you become the bad guy.

Family Expectations: Marriage isn’t just between two people; you’re also marrying her family. Be ready for in-laws, extended family billings, and responsibilities you never planned for.

The Real Cost of Marriage

A wedding is one day, but marriage is for life. And if you're not properly set up, you might fall into deep financial struggles just to keep things together.

You think you're just paying for the wedding? No, you're also paying for a lifetime of needs and expectations.

You think you'll be splitting bills equally? Wait until you realize most of the financial burden will fall on you.

You think love will be enough? It won’t. When bills pile up, love alone can’t save you.


2. Why Many Men Are Rushing Into Marriage (And Why They Regret It Later)

A lot of men rush into marriage due to:

Societal pressure – Everyone around you is getting married, so you feel you should too.

Fear of being alone – You think marriage will solve loneliness, but it can make it worse if you marry the wrong person.

Emotional manipulation – Some women pressure men into marriage through pregnancy, guilt-tripping, or ultimatums.

Fast forward a few years, and many of these men realize they were not ready. Suddenly, they feel trapped in a cycle of never-ending responsibilities and financial drain.


3. The Truth About Billings, Liabilities, and Expectations

Before marriage, many men assume they’ll be partners in everything. But in reality, marriage can feel like a one-sided responsibility.

Household expenses? Mostly on the man.

Medical emergencies? Man’s problem.

School fees for kids? Man’s headache.

Extended family issues? Man’s responsibility.

Even if you and your wife agreed to share financial burdens, things change once kids come into the picture. Suddenly, the woman "can't contribute as much" because she's focused on raising the children, leaving you to handle everything alone.


4. Why You Should Take Your Time Before Marrying

If you’re not ready for:

Constant financial obligations

Emotional and mental stress

Limited personal freedom

Handling in-laws and family drama

Then don’t rush into marriage.

Take your time to build yourself financially, emotionally, and mentally before committing. Because once you enter, there’s no easy way out.

Final Point: Build Before You Commit

Marriage can be a beautiful thing—if you’re ready for it. But if you rush in unprepared, you’re only setting yourself up for stress, financial struggles, and regret.

So before you say "I do," make sure you’re truly ready for the responsibilities and realities that come with it. Because once you step in, billings and liabilities become part of your daily life—whether you like it or not.

Cc seun nlfpmod

Dpsychologist:
If you’re not ready for:

Constant financial responsibilities

Dealing with in-laws & family expectations

Raising kids while still building yourself


Then don’t rush into marriage. Take your time to build yourself first—mentally, emotionally, and financially. Because once you commit, you can’t just walk away when things get tough.

Marriage isn’t a race. Be smart about it.

Dpsychologist:
The Myth of "Behind Every Successful Man is a Woman"—Time for a Reality Check

For generations, we’ve heard the saying: "Behind every successful man is a woman." It’s been repeated so often that many take it as fact. But let’s pause and ask: Is this really true? Or is it just another feel-good myth that undermines the hard work and sacrifices of men?

Men Are the Architects of Their Own Success

Success doesn’t happen by accident. It takes years of hard work, sleepless nights, and relentless pursuit of goals. Men build businesses, innovate, compete, and overcome failures—often alone.

To attribute a man’s success to a woman who may or may not have played a role in his journey is dismissive and unfair. Many men achieve greatness before a woman even enters their lives—yet society still insists on crediting someone else for their efforts.

The Hypocrisy of Selective Support

Here’s the truth:

When a man is struggling, he is usually alone.

When he makes mistakes, few women want to be associated with him.

When he is at his lowest, society offers little sympathy.


But the moment he becomes successful, women rush to claim they "stood by him"—even if they met him after his success. This selective support raises a question: Where were they when he was grinding, failing, and sacrificing?

Give Men the Credit They Deserve

It’s time to celebrate men for their hard work, resilience, and accomplishments—without forcing a narrative that credits someone else for what they achieved.

Yes, a good partner can provide emotional support, but success is a personal journey. No one should feel obligated to credit their achievements to another person just because it fits a social cliché.

Final Thoughts

Men succeed because of their drive, vision, and determination—not because of an automatic, unseen force working behind them. Let’s stop diminishing their efforts with outdated phrases and start giving credit where it’s due.

If a woman contributes to a man’s success, that’s commendable. But let’s not pretend that every successful man owes his achievements to a woman. Men work hard, and they deserve to be recognized for it—period.

CaveAdullam:
DAY 53, REDPILL 2021

STOICISM AND HOW IT RELATES TO THE INTERSEXUAL DYNAMICS.

STOICISM: the tendency to remain indifferent, unchanged, stable in the presence of paradoxical situations: joy and sadness; light and darkness; might and weakness; and sorrow and gladness etc. A stoic is a person who understands the different waves of life; have studied and analyzed them; and has positioned himself to be well rooted when he encounters any of these waves. Stoics can be likened to the earth: in the presence of light or day, sun or rain it remains undeterred. Stoics, unlike other humans are not subjected to the overall emotional waves coming from the prefrontal cortex and amygdala. Though they have emotions, but don't react to every wear and tear; inveighs as a result of temporal or permanent change; whines about little disturbances. A stoic is a force majeure, an outstanding outlier!

By nature, man is the stronger sex, he's expected to protect women and children because they're weak. Men are labelled as the "disposable sex" because they lose their lives in trying to protect the weaker species. However, if not for this "disposability" or intrinsic sacrificial trait, humans would have become very few, still living in the neolithic cave life. Or outrightly wiped out from the earth surface.

Men---symbol of authority and power, who holds the mantle of leadership are not expected to complain, because an unstable leader, vacillating in all is ways, who is very neurotic cannot lead effectively and endangers the life of his followers. Not that men don't have emotions, but that if men begin to capitalize on their emotions like women and children, they will be kick in the ass, neither feared nor respected by any.

A man exposing his vulnerability is a weak man, a neophyte in the game of power. He will never be pitied because in the corridor of power, making your weakness very conspicuous calls for imminent defeat from your enemies. To win, you look for weakness in others while simultaneously hiding yours or leveraging it.

Do you know why different men from all races are accepting TRP gradually despite it hurts(uncomfortable truths)? I will tell you an aspect of it.

Men thought that they will receive same motherly kind of love from their girlfriends and wives in romantic relationship thinking that all women are the same in demonstrating unconditional love like their mothers. But such thought became distorting when they never experienced a reciprocated unconditional love. Neither their mothers nor sisters informed them about this catastrophe. And this made them always lose out when the intersexual dynamics game always stage a replay.

Men exposed their vulnerabilities, not knowing that women are disgusted by weak men. Men showed care, jeopardized their lives in working hard to please their wives/girlfriends, they searched google and wikihow: "how to make a woman fall in love with me"; " how to please a woman"; "how to receive and give respect to a woman", but yet, all got burnt. They even became members of different relationship groups, attended dating and relationship seminars and yet to no avail and no atom of positivity.

At a particular time, they thought they've caught a glimpse---a solution to their problem: they asked women about women but never knew it was a well prepared indirect suicide mission which can be likened to a king seeking help from terrorists that causes commotion in his kingdom. They never knew that a fish cannot teach a fisherman how to catch fishes. They were deceived by the outward innocence of these older fishes because of their experiences in the ocean. Notwithstanding, they still got burnt!

Then came TRP: The Wise Sage. He unveiled the mysteries of power and women. Analysing the womanly nature, the wise Sage revealed the embedded conundrum present in it. He taught the naive men how to finagle their ways around women, how to meet women at their game, augment their wins with women and mitigate their loses. Although, they became aggravated by such knowledge, but the longer they stayed with the wise sage they became pacified and accepted their fate and reality for what it's. They now have a grounded understanding about women and power and realized that LIFE IS A GAME AND BOTH OLD AND YOUNG ARE ALL PLAYING TO WIN.

This knowledge birthed their stoicism. For each man; he no longer became bothered by pleasures and pains or different humanly behaviour. He appreciates his victories and loses and makes good use of darkness and light effectively. He no longer act hysterically, has mastered his emotions, learnt how to manage his vulnerability. He also learnt how to leverage his weakness and emotions to get his desires granted and how it can both make him productive and profitable. He is now able to calibrate his emotions/neuroticism to different atmosphere to best suit his purpose and enhance productivity.

Him becoming a stoic even outside the intersexual dynamics is not what he was naturally programmed for or endowed with, but since life is a dangerous game, he must first protect himself, make himself happy first, utilize his vulnerabilities and seek help from reputable allies who were taught by that same old wise sage. He now has a thorough understanding of the game: Adapt or die! People no longer exploit him because of his strength and by his ability to utilize his weakness and emotions, he has now garnered both fear and respect and deemed powerful to lead.

Authority:Learn from the Stoics.

Nyascobar1414:
..
You are truly aware,her kids..

Men no get sense ehh,wtf..
Slaving away for something that doesn't inherently belong to us😔