₦airaland Forum

Martinez39s:
I am ready. I was attending to a guest who gave me an impromptu visit.

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Well, I have always supported that men need to up their standards. I support the idea that female virginity should be a standard for marriage. A young virgin is the least of all "evils" and most reasonable pick, though female nature still persists. Nothing, not even religion, should make anyone settle for less.

The basic issue with living the traditional and patriarchal lifestyle today is that times are now different. The social norms and social situations are now different. The social pillars, era and norms that enabled the traditional lifestyle are virtually nonexistent. These pillars are:
(a) the acceptance of automatic male leadership and lordship in the home. Society and it's norms now frown upon such and label it misogyny. Even when a woman says she wants a man to lead, it's usually because she is trying to give out a false nawalt signal to hook unsuspecting men into commitment. One thing women who say they want you to lead cunningly omit is that the leadership must align with what they think and it should be under their supervision (you see the game here).

(b) the submission and cooperation of the female to male. We know how society views this now; "equal partnership" is now encouraged. Women today usually frown on the idea of submission. Women today saying that they will submit is usually a facade before marriage.

(c) the mandatory requirement of virginity before marriage. Simps and women have thrown this to the dust. Being a slut and nonvirgin is not much of a shameful thing today.

(d) the automatic ownership of the children and wife by the husband. Even during divorce, the children used to belong to the man and hence full custody to the man. Thanks to the Tender Years Doctrine and feminism, which all had a global impact with time, the reverse is now the case. The laws today don't follow this traditional view. Also, as the husband, you owned your wife's body and she had better not weaponize or deny you sex... it's different now.

These things and other practices were accepted by society back in the days. The man had all the leverage in the home and the women were dependent on the men; men simply had a lot of factors working for them that enabled the patriarch lifestyle.

Besides, even if you embrace these ideas, you will still need a traditional woman to make a traditional home. We don't have traditional women today, what we have at best are chameleons. The absence of the old social norms, and the way woman are today, means that your traditional lifestyle starts and ends in your home. The woman might camouflage before committment and once you get married and kids start pouring in, she might start pulling some bait and switch, leaving only you in your traditional mindset. When that happens, it becomes difficult for many men since the women, laws and society (and its norms, pillars and court of public opinion) are against you and do not buy your lifestyle. No man is bigger than his society. Even the churches and many religious institutions are now modernised. Even if she was young, sheltered and raise in a traditional setting when you married her, who is to say that her exposure to social media, what is going on, and influences from friends (also, peer pressure) won't give room and arsenal for her female nature to run amok? With time, women change. The Fear Of Missing Out and the willingness of jumping of social trends are common with women. In many instances, there are cases of grown-up women regretting not exploring their hoè-phase enough.

Even your children, especially your daughters, will likely buy into the ways of the modern times no matter how traditional you try to raise them. Social media, school, friends, TV, etc are all there to keep them abreast of what is going; the internet is becoming indispensable in this age. Even if you cut social media and some of these things from them, who can say that children won't find a way to do certain things behind your back? You won't be following them 24/7. Peer pressure is also another thing. In as much as people hate to admit, society also contributes in raising your children. Times are different.



typing...

Martinez39s:
I really like the way you think. Also, when a man thinks a woman was there for him, he needs to ask the following:

(a) How do I know that she was not sampling other options as well, while keeping me around to know who will be her best financial option as a certain period elapsed?
(b) Did she not stick around because I showed some sort of huge promise that would benefit her in a relationship with me?
(c) Was I in the picture because a higher bidder didn't come along?
(d) While waiting and "struggling" with me during my hard time, was she not riding other diçks?

When men start asking themselves these questions, many won't be in a rush to assume things. Men must learn to spot calcuculative moves from females.

CaveAdullam:
It is now left for you to prove to us where women has harems of men. Even the most powerful women at their time still sought the most powerful men. E.g Cleopatra, and her relationship with Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony. What about the Queens of England?

Things change, I agree, but your biology is still there.

Polygamy is polygamy bro anytime or day! Men are polygynous by nature and it has nothing to do with our sensibilities or what we've experienced or experiencing now.

Quite alright, I agree when you say polygamy is not feasible "AT THIS TIME" which is of course true because the burden that comes with polygamy doesn't worth it at all for the man, especially in this current economic and political sphere we are in.

However, whatever are our reasons, polygyny is polygyny and it is true of men.



Don't allow emotions to cloud fact and reasoning bro, scientific articles and research and other observable evidences has concluded about this long time ago. In casual mating, men are still of higher propensity than women. We are surprised about women because casual mating for women is lower than men and now become pronounced while that of men has been existing. It was there before, but that of men ensconced women, but now that things has change, men not getting sex, the casual mating of women is now observed.

Another confusing thing here again: in this present time, men are less engaged in sexual activities than women. Simple answer: Hypergamy! More than 80% of men are at the bottom of life and unattractive to women. While more than 80% of women aim for the 20% of men at the top. Despite this, women still desires one particular man that will optimise their hypergamy rather than hopping from one man to another. Dual sexual selection now comes into play when women are unable to optimise hypergamy via 1 man. When it comes to sex, women are more emotional while men more physical.

As explained above.



To reiterate: humans have three mating strategy; monogamy the obvious, casual mating and polygyny.

Polyandry is not same as casual mating. Hence, no where in history do we see women having harems of men. Till date in many cultural and social spheres, many men still have more than 1 woman under their roofs in addition to their casual mating.
Women are also involved in casual mating just like men but not to the same capacity as men.

Paternity fraud is true of women but what is the percentage compared to the number of marriages and children? A man cannot be a victim of paternity fraud except he doesn't know the concept or blinded by love. When men know about this, even paternity fraud that is still at the 30% level will drastically reduce. And if a woman chooses to frolic with other men, a reasonable man will know it is time to dump her. Every thing here is a matter of the head and not the heart even though on the average we are emotional.

These things are not black and white as we want it to be, they contain a whole lot of nuances, but by the time we stick to a particular narrative without considering the other side of the coin we end up holding half truth which equals lie.

Have a nice day.

CaveAdullam:
LoL.

Monogamy, polygamy and promiscuity has undergone scrutinized scientific study.

It's not a matter of men's or women's interest. It is the results I'm sharing. It is the result that truly matters on a large scale and the effects of every of our actions. Personally, I don't believe in karma, an innocent man can suffer for the mistake or crime of another - life's reality.

I'm neither against polygamy or male's promiscuity. But if you check the results, monogamy is a better option. We can't have our cake and eat it. Life is a trade-off, you must break eggs if you want to taste omelettes.

We shouldn't only consider our sexual interests per se but the other domino effects, the unintended consequences. Pretending or playing blind will not stop reality. Or, the effects of every actions.

Thanks.

CaveAdullam:
You don't like the tune ANALLORD used in describing his post, however, he's right, and same as you.

1. It's true that women's sexual side is hidden, as they will only reveal it to men who aren't judgemental of their slutty side and able to satiate their sexual fantasy. Women might claim independence outside, but they always surrender in the bedroom. For women, a man that's able to dominate them sexually can be likened to a man who is a great warrior. Both possess strength women always fall in love with.

2. Now, you must understand that men have a higher testosterone volume than women. And testosterone hormone is responsible for libido. (Though, as observed by scientists, testosterone level for men is seriously declining).

Also take note that, other hormones like progesterone, oxytocin also play alongside women's testosterone thereby making them less interested in sex than men. Unlike women, men run on only the testosterone sex hormone 24/7. Only as men grow old their testosterone volume declines.

3. Women's oestrus cycle is loosely configured as alpha fvcks: 1st - 14th day and beta bucks: 14th - 28th day. Meaning that even though women engage in casual sex like men, they don't think about sex 24/7 like men.

Few men/players skilled in the game of women sexuality can be able to detect this oestrus cycle and take advantage of the alpha fvcks side. Women are vulnerable to sex this period. That's why women always choose these men and these men never lack women and will tell you that "women are more sexual than men".

4. Cultural factor is also a contributor to this phenomenon. Because women are always shamed for being promiscuous---which is reasonable---they hid their slutty sides which eventually makes them become less sexual than men who are not shamed and gaslighted for being promicous. (However, this doesn't means that men are not shamed at all, but theirs is lesser than women's).

5. Women are picky in nature. Since hypergamy always seeks the best, women are always patient to wait despite their horniness. This is where seduction techniques and pick up artistry comes into play.

Unlike women, men aren't picky, the reason they always date down plus can fvck any woman provided she got a pvssy. This difference is as a result of different testosterone volume. Men want to fvck and go while women want to fvck and stay. (However, monogamy still remains human primary mating strategy).

6. The cost of pregnancy is expensive for women but a blink of an eye for men. Gestation period for women is highly risky (but thanks to modern science and technology). Nursing a child from birth to adolescence takes more support from women than men. Though the human species care for their offsprings, women care more.

Men can ejaculate as many times in a day when it comes to reproducing and that's all. But once a woman gets pregnant she becomes vulnerable. This fact is also a reason women evolved to be less sexual than men.

7. Judging from the indecency of women via social media usage you will think women are more sexual than men, but no! What you must also look at: Who are these women customers? What's their number? Men is the correct answer.

8. Men experience more sexual fantasy than women. Men are more promiscuous than women. Men are more willing to get laid on a first date. Men dream about sex more than women. Men are the highest consumer of pornography.

The aforementioned boils down to testosterone hormone.

Women are sexual like men, but men are more sexually inclined than women.

Thanks.

CaveAdullam:
1. Men and women mating strategies are not really in collaboration, and that's why the mating strategies has been oscillating between polygamy and monogamy for aeons. Where men want many women (polygamy), women want a high quality male (monogamy) to themselves excluding other females. Though both sexes are complementary but it comes with costs and compromises. Men and women don't understand this, hence, there is continuous conflict in the sexual market place.

2. From observation and also considering human primary mating strategy(monogamy), men and women can settle down for one mates to a larger extent, however, there has been irregularities in the sexual market place.

A. Women don't want to settle down for the men within their level; an effect of dating apps and social media on women's hypergamy. Though women are hypergamous, but had it been not for the presence of a digitalized world, they would have settled easily for men within their range even though slightly higher.

B. Men suffer same effect as a result of a digitalized world: They don't like the women within their range + women have a higher and unrealistic standard about men + men see women in different geography at the same time.

C. Men aren't satisfied with the women that choose them because of these other women and women don't settle down for men within their range because of other men in different geography.

3. Funnily, most of the time, when it gets to final engagement, both men and women will settle down for mates within their range or proximity. Intra-ethnic vs inter-ethnic or mixed marriages is how you can spot this phenomenon. But this only comes after men and women has struggled for mates in other spheres with little or no success wearing themselves down in the process.

4. Biologically, women choose men. Aside rich dudes who are a minority in the sexual market place, accumulating majority of the women, women are in control of the sexual market place, and they control with their sexual agency---men's doom and pleasure. Giving attention to the feminine imperative is a steady growth on the rise, a sign that women holds a vital part even when not in total control.

5. In this contemporary day, if a man wants a less stressful relationship, he should just settle for the woman/women that like/love him rather than chasing one or two for a "serious relationship". This cannot work exactly same way for women since they are the choosing sex. Women can eventually fall in love with the men that chooses them but it is a bye pass of their instinct which both may suffer as the relationship progress. Or, they should settle down for men within their range: a conscious effort geared at overriding hypergamy---difficult I must say.

Thanks.

CaveAdullam:
True. I agree!

Like I said before, human mating strategies comes with costs and compromises. There are always unintended consequences.

1. Women will share high value men which is true. But how many high value men are there for the total population of women? There's one king Solomon in the Bible, one (male) president for each nation.

2. Nations where there are mate inequalities always breeds violence. You see places like some parts of Northern Nigeria, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan are experiencing more unrest/violence perpetuated by (young) males and most of them are unmarried. From scientific research, married men where found more happier than unmarried men. Married men have something to lose unlike unmarried men, hence, will most times desists from crimes. Married men were even found to have a lower testosterone level than unmarried men.

3. Remember: the higher the number of mates, the lower the resources. So, it's not about women having problem sharing a high value man per se, but that if his resources won't be hindered or slowed down when coming to her. This is not about the women only but their offsprings. Take note that there'll always be less emotional and psychological support for her because her husband's mates are plentiful.

4. All of our actions are not solely based on evolutionary instincts, there are moments we engage in conscious thinking and deliberate actions: women will always consider these things seeing that they must always pleases their husband to get his attention. Yes, women please men they love and vice versa. But there will always be a time both will introspect if they're receiving same energy they are giving to their spouse.

5. Aside reproductive and sexual advantage, polygamy is detrimental to men (because now we're in a modern age, less offsprings can do the job of ancestral survival). As the number of mates increases for a man, his resources reduces. Monogamy which involves one woman is stressful for a man not to even talk of multiple women. What about the resulting offsprings? Controlling children of different women is a tug of war, no peace in that home.

6. Quite alright women will share high value men but it must also be brought to their consciousness that only a tiny minority of the male population are high value using any of the yardstick: resources or physique. The majority of men are average or below average. And it's impossible to have a single man with all the earthly endowment. Rather, they should settle for men within their range and build with him, instead of waiting at the finish line. However, this is difficult because it's a wrestle against hypergamy, which of course is important in order to enjoy a lasting relationship.

7. From time immemorial, humans have been juggling between polygamy and monogamy depending on the zeitgeist of their time. Monogamy is still considered as the primary but we don't know which one came first. Even egalitarianism was once a practice in many hunter gatherer communities.

8. On a societal and civilization level, monogamy is very important, as it breeds productivity, high mental strength and propels a society towards high mental and social energy + rationality. Monogamy is also a contributing factor the Western world is far above their counterparts especially in Africa where polygyny or polygamy is the norm.

9. Casual sex or promiscuity or hook up culture is also a mating strategy closer to polygamy, however, involves no commitment as required in monogamy or polygamy. Men attempting to take advantage of their polygynous instincts can engage in casual sex. Ditto for women who want to gain enough resources from different men which they are unable to get from a single high value man. However, this also comes with costs, compromises, direct and unintended consequences.

10. To satisfy men's polygyny, they should be encouraged to become high value, a long process indeed which will eventually boils down to monogamy because majority of women will have their own high value men exclusively.

Thanks.

CaveAdullam:
Subjectively, you are right, individuals should find whatever mates that rocks their boats.

But as far as nature is concerned, virginity is a prerequisite for men when choosing women because it indicates that that woman is fertile. Fertility here indicates a spouse free of diseases, a spouse who will reproduce fertile kids, a spouse who has a high degree of pair bonding, a spouse who is loyal and will want a long happy relationship. These are very important because men are the ones committing, bringing more resources and less resistant to danger in the relationship.

Men don't attach emotions to sex, but women do! Women are both psychological and emotional about sex. Committing to a woman who has fvcked a lot of d!cks is a bad investment for the man because he's committing to a woman with a long standing sexual history encoded in her memory and who still have the tendency to go back down the memory lane reproducing these histories.



First of all, nature doesn't care about religion, morality(good or bad), ethics, principles blah blah blah. Everything you must understand when it comes to intersexual dynamics boils down to biology, evolution, psychology, biochemistry etc.

1. Natural selection selected females that has hymen to survive in the genetic pool because it was preferred by males. If males never found it important, women wouldn't have evolved to have hymen. Same way men didn't evolved to have hymen because women didn't see the need for it in men. Peacocks evolved to have beautiful tails because that's what peahens are attracted to and will mate with.

Men evolved to have bigger body mass and more violent because women preferred men that can protect, provide and be parentally invested. Women didn't because men never required women to defend them and also because women are the weaker sex.

Simply put, what each sexes desired in the other was selected for while others either became redundant or wiped out.

Morality may be put in place to check some excesses, however, it must be understood that nature must be worked with to achieve a positive aim rather than tamed!

And there's nothing like illicit sexual activities. I know you're ego invested in your religion/belief system. Humans have 3 mating systems: pair bonding or monogamy, casual mating or promiscuity and polygyny. (For polyandry, it is not common)!

Men rank higher in all of these sexual mating system, hence, it tends to seems that men are the only ones fvcking around. Why? Because:

1. men have a high libido fueled by testosterone.

2. A part of men's brain is stimulated when exposed to pornographic content.

3. Short life expectancy plus millions of sperms which must be spread out as fast as possible. Therefore, every mating opportunity must be properly utilized.

However, since women are the gatekeepers of sex, sex only happens when they decide! While commitment is decided by men! As a result, women can decide to have sex when they want, with whomever they want, unlike men that must persuade women before having sex. Ironically, though men are highly promiscuous, yet, they don't have sex regularly because women only want men that occupies the totem's pole of the society.



This has nothing to do with the Bible or religion dear Christian!

To be sexually free of diseases is very sacrosanct. Hence, both men and women must practice safe sex. Because, none will invest in a partner that is sexually impure. So, where this has been taken care of, virginity still comes into play as mentioned earlier.

Now, exposures to unrestricted sexual activities among a population tends to lead to decrease in social, mental and productive energy. (Alright, you're now happy)! Zooistic and manistic societies when compared to deistic societies are in the lowest scale of civilization because of their unrestricted sexual activities. The highest in this energy is rationalistic societies, however, only few societies fluctuates back and forth in it without gaining proper balance.

This progress in civilization has been traced to limiting female promiscuity, remember: women are the gatekeepers of sex. Therefore, if you observe great societies or individuals during a particular period of time tracking their progress, you will notice this kind of mating system: Monogamy>polygamy>unrestricted sex. Monogamous societies are the second in the pyramid after rationalistic societies which is at the top.



You are so full of emotions!

Evolutionary, female children are more beneficial than male children. They survive more at birth, have higher life expectancy, taken care of by men and society from birth to death, decide the number of men who will pass their genetic line to the next generation. Men are the expendable sex!

Men are the ones held responsible for everything because the growth and future of civilization falls upon their shoulders. And when they fail everything collapse. No wonder every good and great inventions and discovery has male signatures upon it.

Nobody is insinuating anything bro, it's nature doing the Lord's work. Women receiving series of harangues to remain virgins is for their own good because no reasonable man in his right senses with good resources will commit to a damaged woman.



What should be discussed on that drawing board is not Bible study nor religion, but everything that has to do with facts and figures, that's, data, statistics, observations and researches, and not fairy tales.

Understanding how things work, will be a proper guide if progress will be made. Men and women's nature must be understood, and since the sexes are sexually dimorphic, individual man and woman can decide on possible ways to work with their inherent nature rather than feel guilty. The consequences both intended and unintended must be properly analysed when discussing whether to run amok or not with our primal and inherent desires.

Thanks.

Good evening.

luminouz:
So now violence is not the norm? Look around you. It's everywhere.

Monogamy is not the way. Look around you and see

luminouz:
Dude. I absolutely disagree.

Many Politicians have just one wife but 100 gfs and diverted resources to these concubines in Nigeria. It's the man's weakness, not the type of marital conjugation that made the society fall.

luminouz:
Dude. I absolutely disagree.

Many Politicians have just one wife but 100 gfs and diverted resources to these concubines in Nigeria. It's the man's weakness, not the type of marital conjugation that made the society fall.

luminouz:
Monogamy as I know it has not existed in ancient times in the Southwestern part of Nigeria that I come from. It is a western/Christian construct. Even before Islam, northern Nigeria and Benin kingdoms have always been polygamous societies.

Once again, I don't think it's polygamy that never made any man to think and become advanced. Egyptians and Arabians made some of the first advances in science and technology. It's about the mindset and strength/weakness of the men of that era. Did polygamy make Solomon or David dumb? I could argue this all day. If we are talking about simping, monogamy made it so much worse.

luminouz:
I disagree. The failure of polygamy is individualistic. If you are weak as a man, your wives won't give you peace. If you are strong, your wives will know their place and give you peace.

Monogamy has also destroyed many men and if it's so perfect without fights and such, why are there so many divorced people even in western societies? Why is the so-called peace a man and a woman are supposed to enjoy? Now, there is polyamory gaining ground because it's evident that monogamy is not the solution. Asking a man to stay with one woman for the rest of his life is why the problem initiated from

luminouz:
Why use Nigeria? What of Saudi Arabia? Polygamy failed because the man is either weak or the leaders of that society have failed. If monogamy is the way, hell, why is there so many divorcees around?
All the yahoo dudes I know in Southern Nigeria come from monogamous houses.

luminouz:
I disagree. It's the failure of the leaders, not the practice itself

luminouz:
I disagree. Polygamy has not been proven to be detrimental to any society. Infact, it curbed hypergamy while making sure society advanced... It also offered an avenue for women who would otherwise be single to contribute to the society. They were helpers, nurturers and learned trade while the men fought wars.

Monogamy was a concept inbred with love, the fallacy of one man,one woman, forever. It encouraged simping from men because now, they have to try to please just one woman forever while in polygamy, many women compete to please the man.

luminouz:
I disagree. Polygamy has not been proven to be detrimental to any society. Infact, it curbed hypergamy while making sure society advanced... It also offered an avenue for women who would otherwise be single to contribute to the society. They were helpers, nurturers and learned trade while the men fought wars.

Monogamy was a concept inbred with love, the fallacy of one man,one woman, forever. It encouraged simping from men because now, they have to try to please just one woman forever while in polygamy, many women compete to please the man.

Philosopher1979:
If only men are in the world.
1. There will be too many wars violence and bloodshed. Masculine energy is too violent.
2. Maybe the world would have ended with another third world war that will result in a nuclear war.
3. Feminine energy may be responsible for the relative peace we have.

Women may have their faults but we need them around.
Nazi Germany was too masculine and see the result.
It was the wickedness of the Patriarchy that led to 2 world wars. After the second World War, feminism rose to make the world a little softer and kinder

Philosopher1979:
If only men are in the world.
1. There will be too many wars violence and bloodshed. Masculine energy is too violent.
2. Maybe the world would have ended with another third world war that will result in a nuclear war.
3. Feminine energy may be responsible for the relative peace we have.

Women may have their faults but we need them around.
Nazi Germany was too masculine and see the result.
It was the wickedness of the Patriarchy that led to 2 world wars. After the second World War, feminism rose to make the world a little softer and kinder