₦airaland Forum

Irony of the Nigerian life

Rich man marries and have 4 children. Poor man marries and start Mass production of children that he can't afford to train because the only thing that gives poor man joy is the body of his wife.
The country has beaten him to the level that sex is his only idea of enjoyment.

Politicians steal your money, sleep with your wife and girlfriends and sister, make sure you don't go to school, even when you struggle to, he makes sure you don't finish on time let alone getting a job.

He sends his children to the best schools abroad so they will take over from him when he is done playing with your future.

He initiates a poverty alleviation program, videos himself cutting tapes during the mounting of an of electric pole. He gives you 4000, bags of rice at rallies and arms to fight his opponents.

He paints the roads and puts Street lights when there are no light in your home. You hail him!

He spends millions on billboards of his fake projects, hires the best PR experts to keep you drooling with hunger and uninformed and keep on doing damages to your common sense. You defend him.

Second tenure, no jobs, no food, the 4000 has finished and the bag of rice wasting in the pit of your toilet. He must recover the billions he spent buying your votes. For he is not qualified to lead but you qualified him.

You start making use of the guns he bought you. You kill the poor like yourself who is suffering the effects of the 4000 and bag of rice that you took. You try to Kidnap his friends, their police orderlies fire back at you.

His friends tell him that there is insecurity in town and it will affect their mobilization for him for second term.
He shouts ahhhh, second tenure is like the second round of sex that puts one to sleep after, except, perhaps, he works for vivid entertainment or one of those Hollywood porn industries.
He complains of lack of security to the commissioner of police and General Officer Commanding, Air Officer commanding or the Flag Officer Commanding.

He spends millions hosting them. They tell him what to do. By now, you have become a threat.

He buys even a bigger gun for the police and the military plus operational vehicles.

He pays for radio and TV jingles to warn you.

You rob, you die. You protest, you die. You stay at home, you die of starvation.

Then, you get recommended to a church and since you can't pay tithes, pastor turns you into an errand boy.
He sends you to buy biscuits for his children, wash pants for his wife and clean his cars.

You sweep the church for free while awaiting your heavenly reward while the pastor fly private jets and drive flashy sedans.

You are happy that your pastor is rich and argue for him in midst of your friends.

He runs to the UK at the slightest symptoms of headache but prays for you when you are sick and tells you to bring your sick mother to church for prayers instead of taking her to hospitals to waste money.
She dies and he tells you that it was God's will while his mother has been in the UK for months receiving the best treatment that tithes can buy.

He buys a new land for a new church branch, you help to carry blocks and turn concrete, then collect blessings as reward. You are happy to be working for the salvation of your soul, heaven will pay.
The pastor lives his heaven on earth.

The new church building is completed on your sweat.

He invites the president, governor, senator, house of representative member and every other person who made sure that you are poor by design.

The whole area is policed with guns and armored cars. You are comfortably seated at the back of the back while straining your neck to see who and who came.

The president and governor and senator plus their contractor friends donate hundreds of millions for the new church while you cheer from the back.

The food they shared didn't get to you but you are happy the president and governor and senator came to your church. You even brag to others of how your pastor is well connected.

You get home, hunger Knocks angrily on the belly door, your neighbor bails you out while you wait for heaven to pay.

10 years on the jobless job, pastor's children have been sent abroad for studies. Age is no longer on your side, pastor hooks you up with another aunty that sweeps the church for free with no education just like you and Weds you both on a Friday evening church service and you are happy. Your children starts the circle all over again.

Irony of the Nigerian life

Rich man marries and have 4 children. Poor man marries and start Mass production of children that he can't afford to train because the only thing that gives poor man joy is the body of his wife.
The country has beaten him to the level that sex is his only idea of enjoyment.

Politicians steal your money, sleep with your wife and girlfriends and sister, make sure you don't go to school, even when you struggle to, he makes sure you don't finish on time let alone getting a job.

He sends his children to the best schools abroad so they will take over from him when he is done playing with your future.

He initiates a poverty alleviation program, videos himself cutting tapes during the mounting of an of electric pole. He gives you 4000, bags of rice at rallies and arms to fight his opponents.

He paints the roads and puts Street lights when there are no light in your home. You hail him!

He spends millions on billboards of his fake projects, hires the best PR experts to keep you drooling with hunger and uninformed and keep on doing damages to your common sense. You defend him.

Second tenure, no jobs, no food, the 4000 has finished and the bag of rice wasting in the pit of your toilet. He must recover the billions he spent buying your votes. For he is not qualified to lead but you qualified him.

You start making use of the guns he bought you. You kill the poor like yourself who is suffering the effects of the 4000 and bag of rice that you took. You try to Kidnap his friends, their police orderlies fire back at you.

His friends tell him that there is insecurity in town and it will affect their mobilization for him for second term.
He shouts ahhhh, second tenure is like the second round of sex that puts one to sleep after, except, perhaps, he works for vivid entertainment or one of those Hollywood porn industries.
He complains of lack of security to the commissioner of police and General Officer Commanding, Air Officer commanding or the Flag Officer Commanding.

He spends millions hosting them. They tell him what to do. By now, you have become a threat.

He buys even a bigger gun for the police and the military plus operational vehicles.

He pays for radio and TV jingles to warn you.

You rob, you die. You protest, you die. You stay at home, you die of starvation.

Then, you get recommended to a church and since you can't pay tithes, pastor turns you into an errand boy.
He sends you to buy biscuits for his children, wash pants for his wife and clean his cars.

You sweep the church for free while awaiting your heavenly reward while the pastor fly private jets and drive flashy sedans.

You are happy that your pastor is rich and argue for him in midst of your friends.

He runs to the UK at the slightest symptoms of headache but prays for you when you are sick and tells you to bring your sick mother to church for prayers instead of taking her to hospitals to waste money.
She dies and he tells you that it was God's will while his mother has been in the UK for months receiving the best treatment that tithes can buy.

He buys a new land for a new church branch, you help to carry blocks and turn concrete, then collect blessings as reward. You are happy to be working for the salvation of your soul, heaven will pay.
The pastor lives his heaven on earth.

The new church building is completed on your sweat.

He invites the president, governor, senator, house of representative member and every other person who made sure that you are poor by design.

The whole area is policed with guns and armored cars. You are comfortably seated at the back of the back while straining your neck to see who and who came.

The president and governor and senator plus their contractor friends donate hundreds of millions for the new church while you cheer from the back.

The food they shared didn't get to you but you are happy the president and governor and senator came to your church. You even brag to others of how your pastor is well connected.

You get home, hunger Knocks angrily on the belly door, your neighbor bails you out while you wait for heaven to pay.

10 years on the jobless job, pastor's children have been sent abroad for studies. Age is no longer on your side, pastor hooks you up with another aunty that sweeps the church for free with no education just like you and Weds you both on a Friday evening church service and you are happy. Your children starts the circle all over again.

Irony of the Nigerian life

Rich man marries and have 4 children. Poor man marries and start Mass production of children that he can't afford to train because the only thing that gives poor man joy is the body of his wife.
The country has beaten him to the level that sex is his only idea of enjoyment.

Politicians steal your money, sleep with your wife and girlfriends and sister, make sure you don't go to school, even when you struggle to, he makes sure you don't finish on time let alone getting a job.

He sends his children to the best schools abroad so they will take over from him when he is done playing with your future.

He initiates a poverty alleviation program, videos himself cutting tapes during the mounting of an of electric pole. He gives you 4000, bags of rice at rallies and arms to fight his opponents.

He paints the roads and puts Street lights when there are no light in your home. You hail him!

He spends millions on billboards of his fake projects, hires the best PR experts to keep you drooling with hunger and uninformed and keep on doing damages to your common sense. You defend him.

Second tenure, no jobs, no food, the 4000 has finished and the bag of rice wasting in the pit of your toilet. He must recover the billions he spent buying your votes. For he is not qualified to lead but you qualified him.

You start making use of the guns he bought you. You kill the poor like yourself who is suffering the effects of the 4000 and bag of rice that you took. You try to Kidnap his friends, their police orderlies fire back at you.

His friends tell him that there is insecurity in town and it will affect their mobilization for him for second term.
He shouts ahhhh, second tenure is like the second round of sex that puts one to sleep after, except, perhaps, he works for vivid entertainment or one of those Hollywood porn industries.
He complains of lack of security to the commissioner of police and General Officer Commanding, Air Officer commanding or the Flag Officer Commanding.

He spends millions hosting them. They tell him what to do. By now, you have become a threat.

He buys even a bigger gun for the police and the military plus operational vehicles.

He pays for radio and TV jingles to warn you.

You rob, you die. You protest, you die. You stay at home, you die of starvation.

Then, you get recommended to a church and since you can't pay tithes, pastor turns you into an errand boy.
He sends you to buy biscuits for his children, wash pants for his wife and clean his cars.

You sweep the church for free while awaiting your heavenly reward while the pastor fly private jets and drive flashy sedans.

You are happy that your pastor is rich and argue for him in midst of your friends.

He runs to the UK at the slightest symptoms of headache but prays for you when you are sick and tells you to bring your sick mother to church for prayers instead of taking her to hospitals to waste money.
She dies and he tells you that it was God's will while his mother has been in the UK for months receiving the best treatment that tithes can buy.

He buys a new land for a new church branch, you help to carry blocks and turn concrete, then collect blessings as reward. You are happy to be working for the salvation of your soul, heaven will pay.
The pastor lives his heaven on earth.

The new church building is completed on your sweat.

He invites the president, governor, senator, house of representative member and every other person who made sure that you are poor by design.

The whole area is policed with guns and armored cars. You are comfortably seated at the back of the back while straining your neck to see who and who came.

The president and governor and senator plus their contractor friends donate hundreds of millions for the new church while you cheer from the back.

The food they shared didn't get to you but you are happy the president and governor and senator came to your church. You even brag to others of how your pastor is well connected.

You get home, hunger Knocks angrily on the belly door, your neighbor bails you out while you wait for heaven to pay.

10 years on the jobless job, pastor's children have been sent abroad for studies. Age is no longer on your side, pastor hooks you up with another aunty that sweeps the church for free with no education just like you and Weds you both on a Friday evening church service and you are happy. Your children starts the circle all over again.

I'm in Apo legislatives. Where are you?

Abujacargirl:
ABUJA

where in abuja? I'm in abuja too

Where's your location??

Lamanii22:
Teju! Update update!

Hahahaha, I tok am say u too like story.

jeromestarks:
Be calming down naah.

😂😃

I'm Islam anything can happen.

Expect the unexpected😂😂

jeromestarks:
See me see something ooo.
I pulled over at a filling station last week (Monday to be precise) with my nephew in the car. I needed to buy PMS which cost 10k but I didn't have enough cash with me so I asked my nephew to borrow me which he did without hesitation.
We headed home happily with no single problem.

On Saturday, I gave him 70k to buy some items he will take to school since he's going back to campus next month. He thanked me and my babe was really happy for him. They both rejoiced and thanked me. I was glad I could give him such amount ( there is this joy that comes with giving someone/ helping someone. Especially when it's a relation).

To my greatest surprise, this boy met me this evening and asked for his 10k. As in, the one he borrowed me for fuel.
In his words " Uncle, you have not given me the 10k you borrowed to buy fuel"

I don't even know what to say.

Abeg, people in the house, what should I do?
If you were me, what would you do?

nlfpmod

As you're giving him the 70k did you tell him that his money is in the 70k?

Bros, abeg give him the money you borrowed from him.

Iamntasaint:
In 2021 December to be prescribe, I subscribed to Access bank one year exclusive package with the aim of trading dollar online but after two months they stop all dollar transaction.

In December last year they sent me a mail for renewal of which I sent them a mail to deactivate the subscription.

The issue now is Access bank deducted d subscription fee frm my account and also deactivated package. I have made my complaints to the bank but they said they cannot refund my money nor active it so I can at least enjoy d little benefits attached to the sub.

So I plan on borrow their money online n block the account. What is d implications I need ur candid advise plzzzzz

Read and send e-mail to CBN and see them running to rectify your problem.

BREAKING INFORMATION: Wrong Transfer

In case you mistakenly transferred Money to the wrong account and the owner blocked you? or you are duped thru your bank account? and then later realized that you have been scammed or a mistake on your part? And the receiving bank is not cooperating?

HOW TO RETRIEVE YOUR MONEY AFTER YOUR WRONG TRANSFER

Please read carefully and learn.

Many people don't always know what to do, so today am sharing with you things you do when you realize a page you paid for a service or goods is ghosting you:

1. Write out the Full name and account number of the page or person.

2. Go to the last notification your bank sent you after you made the payment (via mobile app or text) and copy out the "TRANSACTION ID NUMBER".

3. Go to any branch of the scam artist's bank (the bank you transferred to), and ask to see the CUSTOMER SERVICE in charge of FRAUD.

While you are there, send an email to SCAMMER'S BANK or the d bank u wrongly paid to and copy CBN FRAUD DESK (anticorruptionunit@cbn.gov.ng) n also cpd@cbn.gov.ng
& contactcbn@cbn.gov.ng, this will ginger the bank to take it up fast.

What should you expect from this? The culprit/suspect's account will be PLACED ON HOLD. His BVN will be blocked permanently. No account will ever be opened nor will he be able to transact banking business in that name until he clears himself with the bank.

Meaning he/she cannot transfer or withdraw until they visit the bank, and when they do, the bank will contact the police, and the suspect when proven guilty will sign a waiver allowing the bank to refund your money.

Lamanii22:
haaa Johnson jooor now

bribe me

brain54:
Do you have any health/medical conditions/challenges which we should be aware of…?

Seriously… I ain’t bashing you.

Just concerned!

I thought am the only one who notice his Posts.

Anyway, We sincerely apologize to the general public for this very act of nuisance.The poster is one of our psychiatric patients who escaped last night.we urge the public to go about your various business as everything is under control.
Thanks for your understanding

Ask the agbadorians 😂😃😂😃

Lamanii22:
very much ooo

Hahahaha.

I go tell am say mek him no post any stories for 6 days mek I see wetin u go do.

StrongAlphMale:
The way the guy and the other guy take rush call that guy pervert na Wetin vex me.... as if they don't know how these small small girls behaves, or as if they haven't seen most of these 14 years old girls hanging out with guys far older than them which Will end up with lots and lots of banging.

However, TheChameleon Sorry bro. Let love lead. 🙏

God bless you beyond the horizon. ❤❤

StrongAlphMale:
Very True Comrade, TheChameleon is the pervert here.. the guy is obviously pretending.

I have told the guy if he stays in Benin City, he should Hit me up.. I'll bring him to my area, the rest will be history. 14 years old girls dey bang on a steady. Comrade abeg Leave that werey make he dey pretend like Mumu

Brotherly, why calling him mumu and werey?
No matter what I don't insult people and I wouldn't like you to do same too.

Apologize to him brotherly.

StrongAlphMale:
Bros, I can confidently tell you that, that girl is fvcking a guy who's by far much more older than you. E be like say u never know how these girls be.




Tell them bro. One Mumu Above is even quick to call Someone a pervert.

He's the pervert. He's trying to cover his track.

I wish he can go to Port Harcourt and for himself.
Even here in abuja let him come where I live at areā 11 and see too

Send an unknown gun men to kill him.

Case close.

meobizy:
I hate when they hide information from the public.

because they knew she went to be with a guy.

No be Port Harcourt girl she be? Am not surprise because throughout my 12 years in Port Harcourt you need to see how small small girl behave.

Revolution2022:
She go collect the magic stick from her uncle.

magic wand 😃😂

freshkpomo:
I have this secondary school mate who we still write to each other frequently after around 2 decades of leaving secondary school and he wrote to me about his current challenge which I just opened but so not really know what to say to him at this junction. There is this girl he loves so Much and wants to get married to, but the family lives mainly in Abuja and Kaduna (though they are all Edo people too just like my friend). The problem now is the kidnapping in those roads have made them to keep shifting the introduction date so that they can then make plans for marriage.

This girl according to him have been in Benin since she graduated from school where he met her and she has been an integrals part of his currently booming business. Now the problem here is that the Father wants him to wed the daughter or she should return back and stop wasting her time because he does not want her to end up in Shiloh after been used by ine man, then his own family on the other hand including the girl as well feels yhe journey is not safe and are scared of getting kidnapped.

Just yesterday when they finally agreed, he sent me a screenshot of the link to the lady kidnapped in Abuja with her family that was killed after Ransom. This link was sent to him by more than one family member and they may start discouraging him to leave this girl and get a girl close by because they can't afford to pay Ransom or get killed by Fulani people as they called them. One who they are age mates even jokingly told him that what if Fulani guys kidnap your wife to be and use their uncircumcised deek to rape her while going to rape her, won't that be worse than you waiting till maybe you can afford a plane for everyone.

The reason why i brought this here is because this dude seems worried because even without me writing back, he keeps typing like a robot and it also hurt him that they can't havw children yet because of this delay and all his friends are already with children, some are already grown. This money again I got a funny message from him lol that they will wait, if obi wins to see if things will change

Mynd44, lalasticlala

flimsy excuse.

The road is safe. I just came back from Kaduna to abuja and nothing happened.

If him no won marry the girl mek him tok am. Mek him no use road as excuses.

Lamanii22:
Teju!!! Now that I’m hooked with this your story please drop like three chapters or four today oooo

you too like story.

We sincerely apologize to the general public for this very act of nuisance.The poster is one of our psychiatric patients who escaped last night.we urge the public to go about your various business as everything is under control.
Thanks for your understanding.

Kyase:
I'm voting Tinubu and shetiima
Na you know their religion

are you serious or you're joking?

boldsleek:
Eya, I feel your pain. Lost my sister too.

May your mum's soul keep resting in peace.

thank you Sir.

May your sister's soul rest in peace.

boldsleek:
Watching a loved one die in your hands.

The crying, praying with everything in you asking God to not allow them die, holding on to that prayer that God will eventually answer you.

And, Fiam..., they died before your eyes.


Trust me, Nothing shatters heart more than that. The pain lives with you for years too.

I understand the pain. It has happened to me and to these days I still remember the death of my mum.

JasonScoolari:
Owner of the forum sef nor send wetin dey happen for him own house....


Just concentrate on developing yourself Instead.

am telling you

FarmTech:
.
Let's hope the incoming will open it.

I hope so