₦airaland Forum

sisisioge:
That makes alot of sense but at times it is not as simple as that. I have actually seen a fairly level headed Christian sister cheat on her husband and eventually got him realigned into being a better husband. Dude became very difficult at some point and gave her a lot of grief. She would cry and beg and talk to no end. Eventually, an ex bf showed up and she started leaning towards him and stopped bothering about her husband. Long story short, it was the husband that adjusted himself and they lived happily ever after without him knowing what she did. It's called the Triangular Marriage. May God help us.

Interesting! May God lead us aright.

DenreleDave:
Dem go make sense

ISHILOVE wed UDUJ

ISHI is a very good lady, UDUJ is a very nice and gentleman too

Ishi-Duj 2021

DenreleDave:
This kind love btw uduj and ishilove

LOL I kid you not

Ishilove:
True, although money should not be an excuse for cheating. I am all for financial independence in marital and non-marital relationships.


This is a fallacy. Big dicks do not equal sexual satisfaction. They are more instruments of torture than anything else, but it's all about preference. Some like it big, some like it sizeable. However in my own opinion I feel that it is a sexually loose person who will cheat because of sex. When you have many body counts and have sampled different dicks and pussies, you become greedy.


I don't want to believe this. I feel it is more about interest and excitement. The dramatic people like drama, and if their partner is unable to provide that drama, they look outwards.

Another reason is lack of attention. When you don't give your partner the right amount of attention and TLC, the temptation to cheat is there especially if they meet someone who gives them that attention they crave for. While you are busy having your mood swings, there is someone out there chewing your bae like biscuit bone.

All in all, a cheat is a cheat and they look for even the flimsiest excuses to cheat on their partners, no matter how faithful the other person may be.

Spot on! There is indeed, no moral justification for cheating.

InfernoNig:
I am not a woman, but I know for sure some major reason are emotional lack of care and attention, discontentment and peer influence.

Spot on! Pardon my intrusion, but are you speaking (abi typing) from experience?

sisisioge:
Well....I cant cheat sha but if I mistakenly cheat o, it will be because I love the new interest like air or the oga in my life has become a terrible himan being.

Did I answer the qwesion successfully?

LOL!!! I feel you, babe. However, is there any such thing as cheating by mistake? Cheating is intentional

Personally, I would rather divorce my husband if we have fallen apart beyond redemption rather than cheat.

ValCon888:
If we remove financial security/money out of the equation, I'll say women cheat for the same reason men cheat.

Variety is the spice of life. Eating only beans every day can purge you.

Who says there can't be variety in eating the same food all the couple involved need to do is spice things up and be creative.

Riverville:
I pray the women reply you..... That gender is filled of hypocrites and pretenders..

Honestly, can you just stop with this gender hate? You seem to forget that your mother is a woman. Stop it!

UjuJoan2:
Sometimes they don’t know at the beginning. But halfway through they realize they are unhappy. I know someone who loves her husband so much and talk about how much he means to her. Yet she had an affair.

But personally I believe all men are the same. I know that’s a bit too generalistic, but when you really think about it, they all are. Except for the useless ones who are abusive and irresponsible.

Our people say “Mma Nwere isi adiro nku, nke di nku enwero isi”. I wish I could interpret that ��

If you are looking for perfection you will never find it. The key is being contented with what you have and truly accepting people for who they are. Of course most men don’t make it easy for their wives. They set high standards for women and yet fall short themselves. It can be really annoying!!

Most women do not feel appreciated in their marriages and seek that appreciation outside. But the truth is that those men outside only appreciate them for what they have to offer . . . Sex, money etc. So what’s the point?

Your last two paragraphs sum it all up. Thanks for your input, babe.

LiciaT:
The term “poor boy” wasn’t derogatory but empathetic, it means I pitied him cox I put him in that situation and at the same time trying to soften the whole situation, but off course your fingers were itching you and couldn’t wait to type your gutter words. It shows how classless and mannerless you are. I could return same energy but we would be disturbing this thread and the people just trying to do business. Go to hell boy “ disrespectfully.

Much respect, babe!

okikiosibodu:
If only we guys stop this bullsh*t online.. I don't know the lady, you don't know the lady in question. We cant just keep bashing people online when they air an opinion or share an experience.
Not all ladies are loose, many are still prim and proper. If all your female friends screw their BFs' friends, then you need to change your circle of friends.
#IComeInPeace

God bless you! Nairaland has been fuelling this gender hate for a long time, I pray that we don't encounter a generation that exhibits an innate hate against women, thereby encouraging homosexuality and defying the constitution of marriage and family.

gclef10:
After all this stress, you still broke up with him. Thats my lesson o.... lol

LOL!!! What if it was the other party that messed up or initiated the breakup??

UjuJoan2:
People who cheat on their husbands have a vacuum that they want to fill. Something their husband cannot offer. Of course the matured ones know you can’t have it all, but then the heart wants what it wants.

Also, no woman who is happy, I mean truly happy, will cheat on her husband. So if you see a woman cheating, her husband is likely doing something wrong.

Then finally, woman generally don’t cheat on faithful partners.

I feel you sis! But why do such women marry these men when they know that these men can't fill this void and they can't compromise? Isn't this selfishness??

UDUJ:
Well I feel women should be in the best position to honestly answer this question as it pertains to the topic.

That notwithstanding, from my own point of view I feel some or few ( notice the use of the words some or few and not referring to All ) cheat when they are in a relationship for anyone of the following reasons:

1. Finance - they might be feeling their boyfriend or spouse does not give them enough money to take care of their needs. So they augment their finances by going out with men in exchange for money et Al

2. They might not be sexually attracted to their partners or feel their partners are not up to par with them sexually ( they might be nymphos ), so they cheat with someone very good in bedmatics or start the endless quest for big d*****ks to satisfy their urges.

3. They might feel their partners are too soft ( or as our nairaland brothers call them: SIMPS ). So they are not sexually attracted to them and instead look for rough bad boys instead.

There are other reasons I can't recall right now, but my good friend Ishilove should be able to add more. Cheers

You are absolutely right.

UDUJ:
Nice one Julie. It's always good to have a balanced view when addressing issues.

Thank you, my brother. What's your take on the topic? Mind sharing your thoughts and insights on the topic?

This is not a counter thread to the thread created earlier by a nairalander, but my aim here is to create a balanced perception on the matter at hand and so, no gender is left unattended to.

So.....
Questions for the ladies

If possible, personalize the questions.

1. Why do women cheat on their partners?


2. Why do women cheat even when their partner is faithful?


3. Is a man's inadequacy a good enough reason to cheat?

zedman1:
Thing is, most of us are unaware of what's going on around us. I never for once cheated on any of my girlfriends when I was single and never believed I could ever cheat, in fact, I saw people who cheat as breasts.... Until my awakening. I found out there's something called 'twin flame'. When you meet your twin flame, NOTHING in this world can seperate you from them, whether you are married or single. We know nothing of such in this part of the world, hence blame those who choose to unite with their twin when sh*t happens. I was/am caught up in this web and there's nothing I didn't do to break it, but I couldn't. We are seperated but there's something bigger coming that I can't stop, something that I fear yet love so much... Our final reunion. From my observation, that 'side chick' could be your brother in-law's twin, but like I wrote earlier, we don't know these things around here.

Twin flame or not, the Bible expects us to resist temptation. If men are allowed to have twin flames, should women be allowed to do same? What would then become of the union and sacredness of marriage? That thing you call a twin flame is the Devil's orchestration to ruin marriages because he is staunchly against it. My advise to you and every other person about to make this mistake is to shun the act. Make a conscious effort to keep this "flame" far from you.

Profbukky:
Have you experienced your supervisor standing on your neck to commence your PhD immediately you finished your MSc program?
And this coming just when you're thinking of starting later or seeking foreign scholarship or grants, because you think you need to make more money with the already acquired BSc and MSc certificates. But your Supervisor seems to be distracted by your academic potentials and thrills.

Kindly share your experience.


Kindly push to front page.

The truth is that you cannot abandon academics. Miss academia is petty. If you abandone her, she leaves you and finds another toy. I understand your supervisor's standpoint. Put in for scholarships/grants, hustle alongside and also, put in for the PhD in Nigeria. If the scholarships/grants don't pull through in first year, you have the local program to keep yourself busy With. Running a PhD program is not time-consuming, so you can hustle and run that concurrently.

Try healthier options such as oatmeal swallow, unripe plantain swallow, fonio swallow, sweet potato swallow, etc. If your body react to these options, then you may have to consider enjoying your soups without swallow, which is not a big deal.

thorpido:
Post partum psychosis maybe.

Or demonic possession.

If you have watched/seen Vatican tapes, then you would have an understanding of why that woman did what she did.

Abbey117:
There is this lady who recently joined our organization. She caught my attention but I wanted to take things slow. Later I got to know that my other colleague at work had already spoken to this lady and they had been having serious romance. I had to cut off every affections though the lady in question and I later became best friends.

Fast forward to the present day, they broke up and the babe had been trying to gather herself. I cunningly asked her if she could work things out with the guy but she bluntly said no.

The issue here now is that I've been developing serious affection for her again though during our chats before their breakup I had told her I developed feelings for her but my other colleague was faster than I in approaching her of which she said I should have told her about it.

This lady ticks every boxes I want in a woman.

Kindly advice me...

Give her some time to heal and get over her ex. During this period, try to be just a friend, don't show interest beyond that, so she doesn't use you as a rebound. Shoot your shot only after you are sure that she is completely over her ex. All the best!

Odewaleadesoye:
https://www.nairaland.com/6541387/been-diagnosed-bronchitis-pneumonia-photos

It is well with you bro. You shall come out alive and better. However, how good is this hospital? Why not seek for a second opinion before undergoing the surgery??

webizone:
Ok. Since you intend to discuss, let's discuss. You said there are scattered conflicts in each part of the country, can't you see that it is as a result of lumping different cultures as one under a single authority, without permission and without expression?
What do you think is bound to happen?
I don't support conflicts as well but common sense would make you not to mix coca cola, milk, orange and mango juice as one drink and drink it down. Of course, na your belle go tell you. See ba, the only place the west did well was Korea. Because when you occupy a country and introduce your norm to them, then you retain the border and let the other half of the country contain people without your influence.
Another example, refer to Hong Kong riots v China as the latter wants to integrate. Had Afghanistan been divided into parts, I don't think there would be a refugee crisis like we are seeing.

I don't engage in political/tribal arguments on nairaland. Over and out!

webizone:
That's not an answer to my question.

Let me help you to some extent. What did you think happened between the ESN and the Nigerian army? Boko haram and the affected communities, Fulani herdsmen... Southern Kaduna, some parts of Niger, Plateau...? We are living by grace and if nothing is done and these trends continue, this country would in no time, implode, especially because there are a lot of quarters that are in support of this and lowkey fuelling it( don't ask me who these people are). As an extra trip, please run a google check on this issue. Streamline it nairaland and our national dailies. "Call for war nairaland" " war daily tribune"... Etc .

webizone:
That's not an answer to my question.

I wasn't planning on answering that! I cannot help you understand what you failed to deduce from the happenings around you.

webizone:
I want to understand, who are calling for war in Nigeria?

Are you a Nigerian and in Nigeria?

For all of those calling for war in Nigeria, I hope you can see this.

udoji2021:
The people around me proof otherwise sir, as for my marriage, it's a phase which i believe will soon be over. Y'all are not getting my point, am not against marriage between poor people but I don't like the way people are encouraging such in this our materialistic society.

Materialism again? I do not like your sense of generalization, but let's leave it at that.

babyfaceafrica:
You guys should stop saying this.. This statement has put many into an unplanned marriage.. Unlocking faya!

Marry the wrong partner and you will unlock fire. Marry the right one and you will unlock fireworks. Choose your mojo sir!

udoji2021:
Can you show proof of what I bolded? Unlocking blessings from where?

Look I'm not against marriage but I hate it when all this wannabes motivational speakers trying to pressure poor people to get married.

I can't show you proofs sir because they are all around you. Or better still, talk to those advanced in age. They are in a better position to open your eyes to these things.


Pressure people? Maybe you should show me where a gun is put on people's heads so they must marry.

Your marriage may not be rosy either because you didn't focus on the core values people should look out for when searching for life partners and/or you have relaxed in this marriage and allowed crises take over. Wake up and take charge of your marriage and don't settle for this opinion that marriage is curse. The devil is building a nest in your home, wake up and ruin this nest sir.

That it didn't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for others. Marriage has a way of unlocking blessings to the couple involved. Also, it is partnership for life. Thus, when you you marry a woman whose thinking aligns with yours, you can do exploit. Remember that two good heads are better than one.


Also, you don't have to write your union off. You and madam should go back to the drawing board and trace where the problems are from, make necessary adjustments and see how things would turn out for good.