₦airaland Forum

sighting:
I'm having serious problem of acute anxiety.I have lost beautiful relationships because of it... I'm not a virgin I have had sex with a woman before and most were done in the course of anxiety but the moment I am able to penetrate the anxiety will never affect me anymore in subsequent sex.Now I just found a girl I hope that I can spend the rest of my life with but this anxiety is killing the relationship on two occasions we were supposed to have sex but I couldn't make love to her because my di*ck will not rise.I do have morning erection and all that but not with my babe whenever she comes around my heart is always panting I don't know what to do I'm losing my mind.I have had to drink hard drink but it's not working for me .I hope this is not how i am going to continue living for the rest of my life.I don't want to lose this girl somebody should please help me
what can I do please.I don't know what triggers the anxiety in me I don't know it I am frustrated.Anyone has experienced this before?what can I do?

Don't commit suicide trying to please people you do not know but you think you know just because you spent few of your hours in life with them. The anxiety you get whenever you want to have sex is the same anxiety you just displayed by posting this on nairaland which is sad. Well my brother just try adjusting to the single life that serves you better than all these you are doing. Giving yourself and making the less important people in your life make you feel something is wrong and too much masturbation should be avoided.

aimuan:
Thankx for the advice anyway. But I am actually not interested in that Toto.I have gone past that.Toto does not really move me,I just need a wife that all..

bro you love your girls for no reason other than nice family? Go smash that pussy for the very last time lol. Listen to yourself from another person's point of view.

It has been 5years since I've been working online for YouTube and all i can say is am blessed. It is sad that alot of people use this same platform to watch movies but that is never a problem because it took a while to see how the investment works. If anyone is interested kindly Text +2349069035462 on WhatsApp and definitely nothing is free in this world of ours. On a bad month 200-350k and all you need is ( Your Data Bundle Plan + 25000 for premium YouTube account )

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Wisiwealth:
Gud pm. I notice this slight change in my body early feb this yr.my dick just the rise almost everytime. While at home .workplace and sometimes while strolling for road na so dick go rise without any sexual thought and it take about 5 to 10 Minutes to calm down and it cause me to double my boxer most time .na so girls go look me for road.well am naturaly endowed and 21years of age still a virgin soon to be 22 by july. Even in my my work place where i work as the assistant manager my dick they give me issue. I sometime overheard ladies gossiping about my dick . Because one day while working in my office i didnt notice the door was open because i was concentrating on my laptop na so dick just rise for nothing sake .while i try to arrange my dick well make e dey normal na so i hear wow . Behold the secretary and 2 other ladies were just staring at me with surprice.mehn i was really embarass. I discover they went and check my files in the director office to check my age later that day . After that incident the came to me secretly to question me about my age . And one of them ask if i was truly 21 because the dick the saw is the one of a matured man. After that na so the ask me for sex secretly enticing me with cash above my salary. My dick don put me for whahala. Guys how can i control my dick to avoid erection every time.

reduce the amount of times you masturbate

Paramount01:
On what reason will I give. Thanks for your respond

it is easy, call your woman and tell her the bitter truth. Tell her how sad it is and how bad it is you want sex due to high libido then ask her if she can adjust little by little to your wish and if she isn't ready to adjust to you then you either move away or have sex with someone else while your babe stays

vowsng:
Good evening dearies.
I posted about me and my babe having issues last time, well, we resolved it and got back together so well.

The relationship is one year and 2 months old, I love her and I'm sure she loves me too.

A little about myself, growing up was difficult, little things or issues that money could solve were taken seriously or, rather, posed serious threats to my family coexistence, not mincing words, we were poor.

I literally suffered, I saw momsy do odd jobs to feed us, a family of 6, parents inclusive, which I am the heir (first son)


Yesterday, I was with my babe when she told me about a certain young pastor who indicated interest to marry her, lest I forget, my babe is a virtuous woman, I told her I wouldn't be sad if she accepts to marry the man and I wouldn't stop her if she wishes to marry the man.

I saw disappointment in her facial expression, it was obvious she wasn't expecting that from me, and her response was, " after you will say you love me"

Truth is, if I want to marry, I won't look no other girl than she, but I am not ready now, she is 21 and I'm 28.

After what I experienced growing up, It would be insensitive to let it happen to me once again with my wife and kids.

I have aligned some things I want to achieve before I get married to ensure a better life for my wife and kids and truth is, it can take me 2, 3 or 4 years or more than, I can't say, my problem is, it's not definite, like say next year, so telling her to reject suitors cause of me when I'm not sure how tomorrow will be is not wise.

Before I finished school, I have always thought that making money and getting myself ready won't be difficult, but when I got into hustling I realised it would take longer than expected.

And for the note: I won't be getting married if I'm not sure I'm capable of providing for my family.

Recall the Bible says a man who can't provide for his family is worse than infidel.

She doesn't see things my view.

As you read this babe, just know I love you so much, please understand.

you have a dream and she doesn't. Most ladies nowadays because their friends are getting married, having babies they also want to experience i. Without knowing how others are coping. you have a plan for your own life and if your woman is going to bring those plans down then she would have to go instead of your plans going.

Paramount01:
I met à girl last year, we started dating, she is my church member, we said no sex relationship, she is a virgin, i agree with her, but along the way I can't continue because konji wọn kill me now, I am not ready to dis virgin her but rather I am just looking for a way to let her go, the girl like me very much and I also love her that is why I don't want to hurt her, pls how can I say good bye without hurting her?

brother if you say good bye you are definitely not hurting the girl. You have just done her a favour by not wasting her time which is more important

neuronalkaycee:
I'll keep it real short. Met my fiancé through a friend a few months ago. We love each other but I know love is hardly enough.
She has way more male friends than females. She has lots of the guys calling her their girlfriend, lover, or baby albeit jokingly. It appears she could fall readily if ANY guy tried wooing her, often smiling flirtatiously with nearly every new guy she meets.
She loves clubbing, even though her meeting me has made her stop.
I just have a feeling she has this nasty history that I do not know about and would hunt me after we tie the knot. I've asked her for full disclosure, so I could know what Im up against if anything... But again I've caught her lying on some occasions and I can't take her word for it. Attempts at running a background check on her yielded no results as it appears many guys these days do not want to be named amongst those who fuelled a "gossip".
She has a fairly decent family background, but we know that counts for nothing in terms of morality. She is a nice girl generally, hardworking, smart and respectful. My family isn't totally into her though.

How do I make sure she is full proof? I've thought of quitting severally but after 2 failed relationships in the past I want to be sure I'm not the problem.

well yes you have a problem, imagine discussing this on nairaland whereas you are yet to sit down with your woman and tell her the bitter truth. Yes you might have done this but have you ever put the picture of how you are feeling to your fiance? Have you ever sat that with her and make her understand you are human and all these things she is doing can actually affect your relationship with her? Well you are a different person from your wife and coming together is about you finding the good and bad side of her, take care of the bad side and move on not allow the bad side bring your relationship down. I would advice you don't get married or have any form of wedding ceremony till you are sure your wife is able to do away with her pasts, she might be in the healing process since she likes clubbing and she stopped because of you so now you just have to sit tight and make sure she leaves all those bad habits before engaging her fully if not you would get married before you get to know where are weak points are. No matter how long it takes just see a woman who has terrible past and now trying to adjust ( mind you she would definitely and will always have the old traits but pending your time with her she would heal okay ) it could take months, years but make sure it doesn't take too long before she adjusts.

Oboh662:
I need advice on something that has been bothering me. I’m 24 years old guy have been dating my girl 22 for six months now, it’s a long distance relationship. I love her so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with her , my parents and siblings like her a lot. My girl and I planned to spend some time together during val so she came to my base on the 13th of feb and left early morning on the 16th. On val day we made love for the very first time, and something strange has happened which I don’t understand. Ok this is what happened during love making she insisted that I shouldn’t removed her bra , I asked her why ? She said she wasn’t feeling comfortable and she prefers to keep it on . Ok I respected her wish. While sucking while her bra was still on had to lift , the more I was sucking the more her breast were kicking had to paused and asked her if she is a nursing mother ? She said no , and I asked how come her breast is licking milk she said it’s something to do with her hormones and she insists that she hasn’t birth before. I was confused but I didn’t want to disappoint her so I try to keep my cool and we carried on , when she was on the top of me , I had to removed her bra against her wish and the more we were banging the more her breast were licking heavily and I kept quiet but I could see the embarrassment in her and I acted as normal. For the remaining 2 days she were here , we didn’t make love again and we stay cool till she left. This has been bothering me a lot because I love her so much , I see myself growing old with her but I am now wondering if she truly has a child? I’m so confused and I don’t know how to found out if my suspicions are right or not ? Please I really need advice from you guys especially doctors and ladies in the house. My question is , it is possible for a lady who hasn’t given birth yet to produced breast milk? It wasn’t a small amount but a lot. Please I’m very serious I need matured advice only please no joke

there are ladies like this, the will package and manage themselves with you for few years before telling you the truth. She would wait till you are inlove before opening up to you.

kestolove95:
No one vex me pass that davido own...imagine d rubbish wey him dey talk

number one pussy taking burukutu ( his sperm )

Handsomejok:
Before marrying my wife, my business was moving well. I had an appliances big shop with full of things. I made a lots of money monthly and was able to pay all my bills and take care of my single mother and siblings without fail.

Bbut since we got married, just two months and 5 days after our marriage, my shop caught fire. I have lost almost everything only managed to save some few things, had to pay for all the damages to my landlord (the shop owner ) I’m still owning him money and I’m now renting a small shop but things are not working.

I have so much debts to pay to so many people including my previous shop landlord, can’t afford a 3 square meals, can’t afford to pay house rent, can’t afford to pay my shop rent and we have moved to my parents house.

My wife is pregnant and due in April, we haven’t bought anything for the baby. I wish never met her in my life cos she has completely destroyed my life and I have nothing left. She is evil. Haven’t confronted her cos of her condition, don’t want to add more stress to her and am waiting for her to put to bed then I will confront her and chase her away. I will keep the baby with me so she can go with her child she had before we met. I just hate her so much and I want nothing to do with her anymore.

Please what do you suggest I do?

Alright and i do understand you okay. Alot of people fail to realise their belief has a lot to do in their life ( How can you be with a woman and because you are going through the trials of being a human, the trials of a successful ending, a trial which is normal because business can move up and go down which you are aware and conscious of, feel that your woman is behind your down fall? If you believe she is your down fall brother she will continue being the � in your life because you have always appreciated your woman but because things are tough for you now which is a normal situation every human goes through in life you feel she caused it? We are in 2020 bro get all those your dirty believes off your mind, start working as you were before because at some point all those things you mentioned you never had them and you didn't die till the extent you were able to gather up those things. Life took it away probably due to your error all ye man without faith and life would give to you back the moment you are ready to accept defeat, get on your ten toes and be man again without having to be bothered about the trials of life which is normal for every human to experience. So you can sleep, wake up, kiss and say i love you to your woman with the intention that she is around you to ruin your image? That believe if it continues will keep manipulating in your life if you do not get that behind you, face your wife and face your hustle till god's blessing is in your favour. Fight hard for your loved ones and don't be a man that would curse his mother or father due to financial situation.

Ololade300:
I need someone who can teach me how to redeem gift cards ( not paxful ) (direct loader)
Im a student and I want to sustain on that pls
Text me on WhatsApp or drop your WhatsApp
080-844-30454

google patricia gift card. You can redeem on their site yourself by submitting card image to them in exchange for cash instead of waiting for a middle man

LordFriar:
Some of us just turned 20. Is there anything you wish you knew when you were 20 that you know now and would like to share?

Kindly share your mistakes made, lessons learnt and practical approaches you've employed to fare nicely in adulthood.

Don't join the marlian gang and waste your own time ( naira marley has his certificate at hand and some nigerians have joined marlians which is affecting their all round lifestyle ( education ETC ) and also There would always be corruption in the land so don't bother about what nigeria politicians are doing if not you would waste your time trying to solve a problem that was existing even before you were given birth to.

Stephenmoka4:
Probably fresh air is free in my area. If you want to make money on YouTube you'll need to apply Google ads to your videos. Check out The YouTube partner program for information

thank you for the advice okay but if have no interest you do not have to comment okay thank you.

i understand those who want to invest would be anxious but would only help those who want to invest in themselves( not everyone but your approach could determine since all you need is a laptop and active internet connection ( Money is paper and numbers but i would guarantee you with YouTube you would see the money flying) Yes! The money is really flying and i guarantee you if you spend wisely 200-350k monthly or more would become yours regularly. All you need do is text +2349069035462 on WhatsApp for more info and mind you nothing is free even in our free world.

STDisReal:
Hello guys, Please i need a business that I can start with 1 million naira and it will be fetching me between 5 - 10k daily.
I will like if it meets the following specifications
Type of business: Offline
Less supervision: I have a stressful 9 - 5 work
Easy accountability
Location - Abuja

well you can message me +2349069035462 on WhatsApp, there is online job on YouTube. Let's help ourselves

well to be honest with you i am not a doctor and i do not have a permanent solution for you also but i can recommend a temporary solution which works regardless of how bad your Gbola has gone. This would get you from 5sec to 1hour without any delay but first ( can you do drugs? ). Well i know you must have heard of colorado ( a synthetic you can get addicted to if not careful ) but few puff from it won't kill instead it would take you from 5sec to an hour when on your woman. please note i am not asking you to go into drugs big time but instead for those about to have a failed marriage that is the only solution or better still stay single

First - Look for a colorado dealer or plug around you ( substance usually sold at the rate of 500naira - 2000naira maximum. You can send younger ones who are into drugs or maybe street brothers into drugs they'd know how to arrange it for you

Second - Mix the colorado with kush ( igbo ) or fill your cigarette up with the substance and light it up.

Third - inhale the substance and go for the action movie you've always wanted to act.


Forth - if you realize your body is asking you for more then i advice you stop the use cos then you had be getting addicted since it works for sex anytime anyday.

Smartchoiiice:
I barely can last 5 seconds while doing kerewa. My girlfriends have cheated, insulted and broken up with me because of this....

Please what can I do about it? It is getting real embarrassing these days.

Advise me please.... and no insults.

well to be honest with you i am not a doctor and i do not have a permanent solution for you but the temporary solution i have is worth it. This would get you from 5sec to 1hour without any delay but first ( can you do drugs? ). Well i know you must have heard of colorado ( a synthetic you can get addicted to if not careful ) but few puff from it won't kill instead it would take you from 5sec to an hour when on your woman so good luck brother

Rapecase:
Edit - to those who may be wondering about my username, I created this account whilst trying to help two kids who were victims of rape.

Our 4th anniversary was few days ago, as I thought she would , my wife forgot the date. It ordinarily would not have hurt me so much but I have always had this feeling that she doesn't love me.

When we were dating she was all over me. But nothing I do ever since we got married gets appreciated. Few months ago she hurled abuses on me for helping a sister, a friend of hers, who lost a child and are homeless. And what's the help? Just 100k. Apparently I enjoy abandoning her need for others. And this
coming from a woman who few days earlier was saying I had invested over 2m on her business in a short while ( by her own calculation, as I don't take note when giving her money ).

I told a mother figure in church who is close to both me, her and the family I helped who corrected her. Expect if she will apologise tomorrow.

Off course the lady I helped in question is idiotic but I can't bear her and house and kids being homeless especially after losing a child.

My wife will never apologise when she does sometime I object to. Her apology which is often done in the most demeaning way is only tendered if I take the issue over board.

Our sex life since we got married has been poor to the extreme. I have ensured I do not cheat, not for a single day but I constantly have to beg for sex or masturbate to relieve myself.

Laying our bed is always a war for her. She does it only when she wants. Mind you we have two kids and a maid who helps with virtually everything.

The maid in the morning ( 90% of the time ) makes the breakfast, clean the house while she only baths our first child and get her ready for school, I take her to school most of the time.

Am I overreacting to expect my wife to

1. Properly apologise when she does something I do not like and ensure she doesnt repeat it? For instance few days ago she was planning on traveling outside our base, I only got to know through her phone conversation with her sister although she didn't eventually travel, I felt I should have known before hand as I got to know a night before. Till date what I got in form of apology is, "I would have told you". She was planning to travel by 5am, I heard her conversation by 10pm a night before and we slept on the same bed.

2. Sex at least 3 times a week? I stopped trying to initiate it after so many rejections.

3. Not to forget important dates such as our wedding anniversary?

4. To at all time be the one making my meal.

Please note she practically doesn't work now. We are setting up a fashion house for her she has taken over 3m from me as of the time of writing this. Note my cloths go to dry cleaners. Only thing she does is cook my meal ( when she wants ).

I am beginning to think maybe I am a mental health patient who doesn't know yet. Maybe something is wrong with me and I am just reacting based on that?

wow and this is just your 4th anniversary and she is already misbehaving lo, bro your wife used you and yes of course maybe she loved you right from the beginning but along the line something's might have changed and she is not willing to carry you along and because you guys have a children together she feels you cannot do anything about it. Just tell her to pack her things and move out with her children then see how hard she would be begging you not because of your own children but because the benefits she gets from you would be over. Man up take care of your children and leave her once and for all.

Oreofepeters:
I've been using this PayPal to withdraw for a while now but since yesterday I just couldn't log in and I have a lot of money inside it.........

message +2349069035462 on WhatsApp he should be able to assist you with your PayPal recovery. You don't have to thank me for this is a forum

Overlordship:
Hello all, I got married to my wife 9 months ago and it has been a wonderful experience all through until her friend showed up two months ago. That was actually the first time I was meeting her as she wasn’t around for our wedding as she was doing her masters programme in South Africa. I knew she and my wife were closed as she was always talking about her best friend while we were courting.

She showed up at our house and I thought she came to visit and catch up with old times with my wife so I gladly welcome her. Later in the night, my wife told me she will be staying with us for sometimes while she gets a job. I was upset because we never discussed it before and I made my feeling known. Nevertheless, I had to give in since she said the friend also accommodated her in her room back at school for a session. So, I accepted her living with us and I felt it was only for a short time. We gave her the visitor’s room.

The first trouble started when I noticed her night gown barely covered her bum and sometimes were transparent with her boobs showing whenever she comes to the sitting room. I expressed my reservations about it to my wife and she dismissed it playfully that it was nothing and that what were my eyes wandering there for, so I let it go. Sometimes, she will enter her bedroom without knocking saying she wants to gist with her friend. And I will just stay on my side of the bed playing with my phone while the both talked. I noticed my wife doesn’t care, but I don’t want any issue with her so I accepted it with the hope her friend will soon leave the house.

I must admit that the friend was a bit useful in the house. My wife closes late than I, and her friend stays home when she’s not job hunting, so sometimes she would have cooked before we arrived. Though, I complained about this also, but wifey believe it was trivial. Her friend was intelligent and as times goes on, we talked on a wide range of topic while waiting for wife to come back from home so I stopped complaining about her to my wife.

It became so normal about her dressing that I accepted it like that. There was a day she came to our room to gist with my wife and playfully, my wife hit me with a pillow and before you know it, the three of us were throwing pillows about and playing like kids. They were both jumping on me and incidentally, I had a hard on as we were playin. I noticed her friend was slightly brushing her hand on me. I had to quickly stop and stylishly use the pillow to cover myself until I came down. I was really uncomfortable with the whole situation, but I didn’t complain to my wife again since I know what she will say. What I just keep asking my wife is when her friend was leaving.

The incident that happened two weeks really changed things. My wife took one week leave and decided to visit her parents outside the state we reside. I wasn’t okay with it leaving her friend alone with me, but she said I will just do fine. I tried to come home late for the first three days so I can completely avoid her, until the fourth day when she came into my room. I didn’t want to be rude by asking her to leave, so I asked her to sit down on the sofa in the bedroom. We first spoke about football, politics and other things. I can’t really say what happened, but in a lapse of judgement, we started kissing and then I had sex with her. I felt regret immediately and started apologizing to her for taking advantage of her. What she said really dazzled me. She said I shouldn’t be sorry as my wife never keep talking of our big I am and how sex was so great. And how she wishes her friend can experience what she was talking about.

My regrets turned to anger immediately and I asked her if she and my wife planned this whole episode just to confirm what my wife was boasting about. She denied being in cohort with my wife, but said something that devastated me. She said my wife wouldn’t mind as they sometimes share things together as they are besties for life right from their school days. I had to quickly exit the room to the balcony. We barely talked again until wife came back, though she tried to initiate some conversation, which I rebuffed. My wife further heightened my apprehension when wife asked if her friend really took care of me and that I couldn’t have missed her much since her friend was around. The dilemma now is that I can’t confront my wife about the incident as I will be admitting I slept with her friend. Her friend is also acting normal and I am afraid if she will inform her “bestie for life”. I have been thinking, what if they had been “Sex partners” before and I married a bisexual cos of the way they do play together. I had just been asking her when her friend was leaving and I don’t want to be forceful because of what happened between us.

Note, my wife has been a good wife. All my family member love her like she’s part of them and she is so comfortable with them. We never had any issues except this. I need advice on how to go on so I don’t destroy my marriage.

it is so sad that even when you are not comfortable with her being around you could still sleep with her....rather than sleep with her why not just tell her to leave to avoid the drama. If your wife's best is is going to crash your marriage you just gave it to her so you have no excuse ( your wife is not at fault you are cos you gave in lol )

- The starting point of all achievement is desire


You are the master of your destiny


When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal


Your greatest success will often come just one step beyond the point at which defeat has overtaken you


Set your mind on a definite goal and observe how quickly the world stands aside to let you pass

Op i would like you to know i created my nairaland account just to give you a response. We all cannot be perfect and i understand your pain definitely but i want you to know now that there is difference between telling your partner the truth and also telling your partner the deeper truth. We all tell ourselves the truth but the deeper truth is what you need in a relationship. Call your woman to order, before you do this make sure you are ready to hear the same excuse you have always been hearing but this time be as calm as you can ever be and take your woman down the memory lane ( remind her how you started, the plans that worked out and those that didn't work and be grateful with all you are still together ) now make her understand she doesn't do something's before which she does now and make her see more reasons why it is threatening your relationship. I would advice with tears in your face ask her what exactly went wrong all these years that she forgot to get you involved and now she is trying to handle it on her own. Op your woman loves you but her sex life has probably taken over ( i believe the problem here is your woman got used to having sex, now her sex vibe is high and she wants to explore whatever it is a man has to offer in bed but the question is it seems you are man enough for her in her own way. You might feel you are doing your best but trust me only a woman can really tell if you are hitting the spot the way you should. If you are not sure you are doing a great job the easiest way is to be sure you are getting is rt is to do your best every time and wait for her reaction, don't ask her if she is satisfied immediately after sex but there are some reactions from her that would confirm she enjoyed the sex. Imagine you are done having sex and your partner sleeps right away ( meaning she blacked out ) or maybe after sex she complains her whole stomach is wiped out, if she doesn't give you a nice reaction after sex bro she is not enjoying it you are. Just make sure in your own way you are hitting the spot and after the sex just wait for the reaction if she is getting satisfied and she is still into this then threaten her with breakup but if she doesn't give you that good reaction immediately after sex you are not really doing a great job brother