₦airaland Forum

funmisticqueen:
comot for here, chronic masturbator

Are you done talking commenting? Or should I book more space for you, so you can regale the whole Nairaland with stories of how you stalk me whenever am in the bathroom to know if I am masturbating since you are a jobless person ?

This matter just weak me...

onyokometer:
Chairman u don already visit there? How that side? We way dey hear de try our best to make heaven. Enjoy ur hot and sexy girls.

Enjoy your boring and ugly Mary Amakas!

johnydon22:
Thank you for helping me out

U welcome!

9jawear:
what exactly is funny, you believe the story of noah as truly authentic and factual

Did you write the OP or just copied and pasted it. If you wrote the OP and then made that initial comment of people believing anything then it's funny, that's the joke. If you copied and pasted it, then make it know somewhere up there, those are not your opinions.

I agree with Ben Bruce's message. Less babies and create more jobs. A cleaner in my office on N20000 salary had 3 kids and the wife added another one this year making four. When he told me the news, I didn't congratulate him! How he plans to manage with 20k and 5 extra mouths is beyond me!

This na clean gutter na looks like just rain water. Bring the boy to Lagos make he come swim for correct dark smelly gutter!

When one poverty stricken man whose source of livelihood is just a tray of kolanuts, will easily father 20 children with just two wives in that corner of the earth using religion as his justification, how won't they easily sacrifice thier children to be used as pawns and suicide bombers for Boko Haram.

Our forefathers smoked way more than this, infact snuffing tobacco and smoking pipes were more common back then. Only difference now is that people are now aware of the dangers of smoking asides that nothing has really changed.

So sad...

Eyah that's sad...

Kikikiki...

Hell fire awaits her for this kind of dressing. Thank Lucifer, these are the kind of hot and sexy people we will be having in hell not all these boring and ugly Mary Amaka girls.

anotihere:
But I am sure He did not create the World

No one can say certainly who/what created the world. Most of the creation stories put forward have failed to
be valid. If you asked me I will tell you I don't know. Let's stick to the topic of if this Jesus had sex or not and not derail it.

yimuyimu4u:
The Bible says it all. If He was not busy, the Bible would not be bulky

Boy oh Boy, you Christians have a knack for saying ridiculous stuffs at times. The Bible is bulky because Jesus was very busy! Chei!

Let me school you a bit, the Bible contains about 66 to 81 books depending on which denomination of Christian you are. Let us take 66 books for the sake of our discussion, only the gospels speak about the life of Jesus, none spoke about how busy he was and the are only four. That makes four books out of 66. Even those four books are repetitions of each other ( let us ignore the contradictions they have for another day) making one book if you remove the repetitions that makes just one book. For the sake of this argument, let us use those four gospels/books. How did 4 books out of 66 make it bulky?

winwint:
If you are not Jew, why so much interest in Jewish encyclopedia. I know jews kinda hide their faces

Jews hide faces? I am just reading this for the first time. Jewish encyclopedia like every other encyclopedia is a reservoir of knowledge waiting for people, wishing to expand their views, to fetch from. People have such interests when they begin to question the absurdities of some concepts/ stories they have been told to as kids like a donkey that talks, a man getting stuck in a whale's stomach for 3 good days or a man feeding 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and two fishes .

yimuyimu4u:
Scholar. My opinion is that He was simply too busy. Lets also remember Jesus is coming back

Busy doing what exactly? Fishing, tent making, carpentry, tax collecting or what? He was busy 24/7 doing what? This does not hold water. Find another reason even busy people have still have time for sex.

yimuyimu4u:
Scholar. MY OPINION Is that Jesus was A holy person and cannot be touched.

Your opinion falls under Category C.

winwint:
You are a Jew. I finally met one

Lol...I am not. I fail to see how all I mentioned in the previous post makes me a Jew though.

A: Jesus the Preacher never had sex
Jesus never had sex because the Bible said so the Bible did not mention it, as those who composed the various books of the Bible did a good job in removing any book that will destroy the concept of his divinity! MLM and Ponzi schemes promoters never speak of the bad sides of the products they are marketing either. If I were to market Superman as the true saviour of the world, I definitely would not mention that two of his weakpoints are Kryptonite and Magic.

B: Jesus the Preacher Truly never had sex
If Jesus the preacher character really existed, It is likely he studied with the essenes during the missing years of Jesus or some monastery like that. But I will stick with the Essenes. His style of preaching and philosophy are similar to that of The Essenes. His cousin, John the baptist, was also likely an Essene.

A careful survey of all the facts here presented shows the Essenes to have been simply the rigorists among the Pharisees, whose constant fear of becoming contaminated by either social or sexual intercourse led them to lead an ascetic life, but whose insistence on maintaining the highest possible standard of purity and holiness had for its object to make them worthy of being participants of "the Holy Spirit," or recipients of divine revelations, and of being initiated into the mysteries of God and the future. Source: http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/5867-essenes

C: Hell no, Jesus definitely didn't have sex
This one is for Christians (and muslims) who are scared to even lend such a thought, even if they were video proof of him having sex. To them it's just blasphemy whether it is true or not! They simply do not care, they just know.

Farming is the only occupation I know and I am 100% certain will not go extinct! People can not do without food no matter the circumstance. The evolution of humans and technological advancements might cause the other occupations to go extinct.

Ayanfeoluwaoba:
Good Morning Sir



Maybe I should ask Jesus to withdraw breath from you and also ask Him to withdraw sleep and also withdraw good Health, I will also ask Him to allow 24 hours darkness (No Sun, No Moon) around you (for just 3 days), so you can at least ask Jon Snow to make those available for you.

Please do ask him to do that right now, I am waiting. You can create a video and upload here for everybody to see how powerless this Jesus is. Feel free to add days of starving fasting and talking to yourself praying on a mountain to make it more efficient. This is a challenge I expect you to take else your Jesus and Yahweh are nothing but fictional characters.

Ayanfeoluwaoba:
Good Morning Sir

This got me cracking.

But then I won't hesitate to say I admire your confidence in ignorance.

You can believe that every human being is a product of a Sperm (A kind of liquid lasan lasan) but you can't believe in the Mysteries surrounding the birth of Jesus.

Ogbeni, there's nothing mysterious there. Man sleeps with woman, sperm fertilises egg, woman gets pregnant. Simple as ABC! And no, sperm is not lasan lasan!

Ayanfeoluwaoba:
To your second point Sir, If Jesus was sexually conceived please can you let me in on who His father is?

I am inches away from sending you back to school to go and learn basic reproduction process in biology. His father could be a Roman soldier, a young sharp Nazarene or even Mr. Joseph the carpenter himself. Not all bastards know the name of their biological father but all bastards are a product of sperm, produced by a man, which fertilizes the mother's egg. Jon snow is/was a bastard who knows his real father chew on that!

Ayanfeoluwaoba:
It doesn't change the fact that the name of Jesus is universally known despite the big big achievement attached to your Jon Snow.

Jon snow is universally known too and has his fans.

Ayanfeoluwaoba:
Your Jon Snow was conceived through sexual intercourse but you can never explain the conception of Jesus with your own intellect. Kolewerk

Jesus was also sexually conceived same as Jon snow. If you believed that crap that Mary got pregnant without f**!n* someone, then be ready to accept it when your daughter (or any other young girl) fornicates, gets pregnant and tells you it was Yahweh that impregnated her

Ayanfeoluwaoba:
Finally bro. Jonbellion Jesus had a purpose (John 10:10), what is the purpose of Bro. Jon Snow?

This has been answered already.

Ermacc:
I know this is for laughs, and you believe the religion of the goat herders is all myth, but pls try and show respect to those who hold it dear.

The same way they respect traditionalists by composing songs that insult them and going to their shrine uninvited to burn them abi?

You are broke yet you have four constant bedmates that I am sure you are servicing financially. Where is the money for servicing these babes coming from?. My advice dump the extra baggage of sleeping around and focus more on your money hustle. You are not setting your priorities right, keep searching for forgiveness from imaginary beings.

hatchy:
This is the reason some people are of the opinion that Catholic Reverend Fathers should be allowed to get married.They should do away with the old and outdated rule.
Except this is done they will continue to witness this kind of sexual assault like rape and homosexuality in the church.

Konji sef na baaaad!

This does not hold water. Pentecostal Pastors have wives yet many still chase and sleep with women. Coza pastor and Apostle Suleiman come to mind and the numerous cases of Pastors and adultery/paedophilia that is rampart on Nairaland frontpage. Maybe they should do away with Pastors getting married rule too.

TheAlchemist:
.

someone had earlier in his post mentioned that Juju works on energy fields, perhaps for some unknown reasons, there is something in the energy fields of the black man that makes Juju permeable, while for the white man there is a sort of invisible energy/force field that render it impregnable.

Maybe the white man stopped taking juju/voodoo serious and invested more of his time in practical Scientific endeavors which made his energy/force impregnable!

Nogen:
I never mentioned gift cards please. Read my response to him.

I have read your response. It does not address how a Nigerian Turker using Nigerian I.P can withdraw his money straight into his bank account which is what he was asking. I am a registered Nigerian Turker and I know this, you only get paid with gift cards. If you can withdraw your money directly to your account as a Nigerian, registered as a Nigerian with location qualification as NG and using a Nigerian I.P, I will not mind to get the details of how you managed to do this. I am sincerely interested. Thank you!