Nnamdipapakanu:
Warning to all guys, ladies are taking advantage of the trend now.. Accusing innocent guys on rape, you guys broke up bcox things cudnt work, trust me, she might pay you pack with rape allegations...

My first gf who has tasted like 2 dicks b4 me stoll accusing me of rape but it's not public....

The truth is I don't know if she will join the trend but it's been over 9 years (2012). She told me her previous Exs too raped her.. She told her bfs to that I raped her.....
2nd gf to said her first bf raped her but my Bros, na lie.... Nobody raped nobody... Ladies mention raped to gain sympathy.. They know that once they ain't virgin, they are like used product, so to gain more value, they lie that their dignity was taken from them via rape but na lie, no one raped no one...



Guys, be careful... Prepare ur evidence, some innocent guys may land to prison for these... You can call ur ex to hy to her.. Chat with her and be sure that she is happy....

U can even try talk abt ur sex life together when u guys were dating, let her comment abt that.. It may be a strong evidence..




Guys, be prepared... Even a virgin guy might be accused of rape.... Be prepared....


Cc: imhotep lzaa SeanWilliam davash222 Badboibipo Tajbol4splend donbachi delectablegyal missimelda01

Lol @ op ,the bolder got me laughing

HumilityCitizen:

What do you mean ¿

You just wetted Mother Earth with your tears ryt?
It always happen as predicated

Brace up ,you aren’t the first neither will you be the last

As always it always end in tears
No surprises

The above statement keeps going places

icetrimz:
continuing from my previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/5867186/accessed-gilfriends-phone-now-cant


I was somnolent when she pushed the rest room door open at about 5 am. I could say she was a bit startled when saw me in there, she stood awkwardly still for a moment, then she walked nervously closer to me
"baby why are you not on bed? what are you doing here? what is wrong?" she asked me;
"nothing" i mumbled, almost inaudibly.

she became ambivalent as soon as she catch a glimpse of her mobile phone on me. I discerned she was beginning to feel rapidly unsettled. Nuzzling her hair and starring at me she then suddenly blurted out,
"baby i'm sorry"
"for?"
" I didn't know my period was coming today, is when i came down from the bike i noticed my period was coming, i'm sorry. Have you eaten? Are you angry? "
I stood up, tossed her phone across to her and staggered pass her out of the toilet straight to bed.

now mata don change, make i use pigdin complete the tori cuz i no wan leave the street behind. So as i lie down for bed, she waka come jam me dey yarn rubbish gimme, say if i accessed her phone, she can explain..lol, i no tok... she begin cry still dey ask me weda i enter her phone... i still lock up, she begin beg say make i talk to her. As i see say she wan disturb me, i tell am make she sleep, later we go tok.
If you see the way dis babe dey sob ehnnn...... you go assume say she never see penis for her life! walai Nigeria girls go still curse confusion for heaven las las.... make una write am down, i believe the first set of people wey dem go depot from Heaven go Hell go be Nigerian girls.

na this babe make me forcibly break up with my Ex wey dey Dubai now, wey bin dey plan buy me motor when she come back to Nigeria and help my life. Shey una see as dis girl turn me to egungun come push me enter express abi ??
Another painful part be say, before i no dey sabi kill chicken, but now, because of her i no fit count how many souls of innocent chickens i have killed { may God forgive me} she almost turned me to a marlian but Oluwa took control. This girl don burn all my chargers, burn fan, burn food!! burn everything she can burn.... i dunno if her grandfather was a firefighter... i have gone through stuffs because of her, e still dey shock me say she could be hoeing about. i cant take it, we must go to court!

I have been avoiding her since the incident happened and refusing to tell her anything yet. Right now, i'm in my friend's apartment
The thing is,... This girl wont succumb to a break up no matter how hard i push it. so i need a lawyer to tear her apart from me TO AVOID STORIES THAT TOUCH and also sue her for damages.

Do you think i should go ahead my people?




nb. i get friend wey be lawyer and he is on Nairaland, but since i sold him a blackberry bold 3 which has a battery problem about 8 years ago, him no dey gree answer my greetings till today.. i dunno why

Oga, na sequel be this
This your script don dey get as e be ooo
I see nothing but k-leg

Las las it will all end in tears

Op,how you dey take swallow that thing
Capsule wey big like wetin man no know

Casper21:
Hmmm. MouthAction is much more better than penetrative sex

You mean mouth cancer is more better

tiptoe1:


Lol, this fo.ol is even telling her sorry. Why type of sissy are you? Your name should be in the simphood hall of fame

I thought that list is full

Space still dey there ?

pDudd:




Notice that as she gets older, the body counts are getting lesser. Cos of the law of diminishing returns and force of gravity upon her assets.

A very good Premise, endeavor to consider this when conjuring your series ,AP or GP

pDudd:
Next tip: Akata women have an extremely high body count.

If you are the kind of guy that gets offended when you find out that one or two guys before you were screwing your present chick, then forget about following Akata. Whatever number you are in Sequence will be dependent on her age.

If she is in her 20s, then you may be guy number 25.

If she is in her 30s you may be guy number 38.

If she is in her 40s (yes 40s body nor be plywood) then you may be guy number 42.

And so and and so forth......

So are you ready to take the plunge yet?

Can any mathematician in the house construct a sequence for the above

I will go first ,let x be the girl’s age

.

Partial anal ,una no go kill person
Rub Aboniki

Ardar:


When did having sex become a sin?

Did you really type this or your fingers mistakenly went to your keyboard

McClinton:
Recently, I met one of my colleague in a devastated condition. I saw him drinking to stupor. I couldn't help it, so in our discussion to the reason for drinking. He made me understand that his fiancee had parked all her belongings in the house, leaving the room empty without informing him. The only way to comfort himself when he remembers it, is to drink. How do one cope with an heartbreak?

Why do I have a feeling that this colleague is you,Mr Clinton
Man up ,highest thing the red pillites call you the trademark name

Sususy:
I'm feeling that he is deeply inlove with me but he hasn't asked me out!

Have known him for five years,(...Just as friends).
We chat frequently on Facebook, virtually everyday.
He smiles alot to my silly jokes.He likes staring at me alot.
Always in the habit of giving me compliment about my dressess.
Always playing soft and funny towards me, so kind and caring towards me.
But he hasn't told me he loves me,
Or are those not the signs that a guy is Inlove? Cuz I'm sure those are the signs.
Why didn't he ask me out? He is 24! and I'm 20!
I'm very sure is a single virgin guy (churchy guy),cuz he told me.
But why hasn't he confess to me that he loves me?
Is just so annoying! I love him so much,but I just want him to confess his feelings first to me before I confess mine.
I need the reason why he's doing that to me.What could possibly be the reason? Please help. I'm loving to know the reason.

Oga wants to deflower ,you might not offer him that
That’s why he’s stalling

Manpoly:


U can't even give d nigga word of encouragement.... Must u b direct.. .lol...must u brake his heart...

Am just looking at for my fellow bro

That’s just the truth

Aunty wey sabi

Beverlyjean:


Keep comparing till u find what u are looking for... Men are validated by money, women are validated by body count... Once it's much , u loose value... I'll rather use a Love Machine than hv my future husband disrespect me cos of my body count...

I'm sure u were sure of ur exes as husbands but they are all gone and this one might tow the line as well...

Close ur legs to earn respect...trust me, it will pay in the end

luckygeee:
Nairaland please i need suggestions. A big bird seems to be nesting inside my ceiling. It flies up and down at night in my ceiling making it difficult for i and my wife to sleep. As i am typing now at 12:10 am, the bird is still trying up and down inside my ceiling. I live upstairs in a one storey building.
Any suggestions on the best way to get rid of it? Please!

Mdified. The attached photo is not that of the bird but just a description

Which babalawo shrine you mistakenly enter

Lies from the pit of hell
The Linus families has successfully taken over this thread
Make una kukuma say pornstars own Dey learn work for una side

Samrocker:
I met her in my 100L days... But she said she got a boyfriend in Lag . But she made it known to me how Really bad her boyfriend is treating her .
She is very loyal type of girl that she told me she can't cheat on his boy despite all my try and effort to win her heart to me!


Fast forward to 100L second semester .. she call me on phone and ask if I was around that she have something to tell me.... She came to me sobbing really bad and crying ... She explained to me her boyfriend called her on phone and ask for a breakup...


I felt sorry for her because that she narrate how she was dis-virgin by the guy ..


So she slept over that night ... And eventually we started dating......


It's been over a year we have been dating now... She is so sweet and loyal ...

Not until she called me last month her ex came with his new car to see her at home ....

I was very surprised about this... But she said nothing attached he just came to apologise...

But after few days... Her ex began to chat her up on insta... And promising her heaven and Earth that she should give her another chance....

She screenshoted everything to me herself.....


Plz I deeply need advice... What should i do to keep this girl from going back to her ex... Cuz her ex is financially okay than me....�...


Am afraid... Plz what should I do guys.

Always have this at the back of your mind

Once there ,always there
If you know ,you know ;

landmark86:
Dear brother,
As per government lockdown directive to contain the spread of cov-19 in our society, the following are my experience so far with ladies:

1. 55% of my female friends on facebook that hardly reply my message whenever I say hi to them and now send me account number.
Abeg I be Federal government?
Hunger na bad thing oooooooooo

2. 70% of ladies have met before, exchange contact with, try to call but will never pick or try to chat on whatsapp but we never reply now calling me on whatsapp as a result of boredom.

3. Some of my crush that have make advance to but forming before cov-19 are now crushing on me just to get some financial assistant. They are fvcking broke .
They think I be Akpan and Oduma

4. We all no as some gals dey form. There are dis two pretty ladies have been chasing up & down my neighbourhood but they keep turning me down. Right now, both of them are in my house. One is cooking while the other one is washing my cloths. Am very sure of twosome this afternoon after they are done. before I can give them any dime. Their fada

5. Three of my ex are now disturbing me with calls since last two weeks. one of them is asking if we can continue our relationship, while the remaining are requesting a visit to my place all because will stay in the same town.
Hey!!!! In this lockdown
Am very sure hunger don dey resist their brain back to normal.

Can't you now see cov-19 is a blessing in disguise in some area ?
But I still pray it leaves my fatherland (Nigeria) soonest.


Yours sincerely,
Landmark86.

What do you mean by the bolded ?
You mean you will watch them while they just engage in the act�

Arinola247:
I created a post earlier that it has been boring as Bleep here and I need a guy to have fun with virtually. Alot of guys have been coming to my DM for hookups...hookup where everywhere is on Lockdown? Are you for real?I just need someone to have fun with virtually...Feel free to contact me on 09047873040.

Uncle in Aunty form ,abeg pity the owner of this line

Erediauwa:
Phone rings....

James; Hello Arinola

Arinola; *With a cracked yourba tone* Taáni?

James; You don't speak English?

Arinola; Sorry,

James; Where do you reside?

Arinola; Abeokuta, what of you?

James; Lagos, got your number from Nairaland Forum.

Arinola; Baddo app?

James; Excuse me?

Arinola; Send me a text message with this number you called so I can text you my Facebook name.

*End of the conversation*



[b]I think one of the hornnny môrons in the Ashewo Beer Parlour Thread created this account with the number of a runs girl he had somethings with recently, because she doesn't sound sure of what to say next and her tone made me believe she's not as brilliant to create this thread.[\b]

Only God knows Arinola’s body count

Triple figures

Garrieveryday:


What makes you guys think that a girl cannot come out and ask for a guy to spend time with? Have you seen millions of videos where girls are indulging on self satisfaction because they don't have a guy? What makes you think such girls cannot come out and I ask to be with a guy? You guys should kill this mentality please l. Mind you, I'm not saying your suspicion is totally wrong.

There are many ways for a lady to reach out to a guy not on a platform like this
You want to tell me that OP has no male friends on her contact ? ie if na woman be that

Pm at your own risk

Some thirsty idiots will still proceed

TheZed:
Location: Lagos Embassy
Date: 9 July 2019
Status: Approved
PhD Full funding
Everything was barely 3mins

V.O: Good morning
Me: Good morning ma’am

V.O: Pass me your passport
Me: (Passed my Passport, I20 and sevis receipt)

V.O: How did you get this assistantship?
Me: It was recommended by....cuts in

V.O: I mean what made you qualified for this assistantship?
Me: Oh, My GPA and my GRE score.

V.O: What’s your GPA and GRE score?
Me: 4.66 and 304

V.O: Did you apply to other schools?
Me: I applied to just two schools.

V.O: What’s the other school?
Me: Tamuk

V.O: So why Ncat?
Me: Because it’s a fully funded PhD program and........Cuts in

V.O: Didn’t you get scholarship from Tamuk?
Me: I only got an instate tuition waiver.

V.O: How much did you have to pay after the waiver?
Me: $21,000

V.O: Do you have a masters degree?
Me: No

V.O: Oh, It’s directly from Bsc
Me: Yes

V.O: When did you graduate?
Me: 2017

V.O: What have you been doing since then?
Me: I went for my compulsory National Youth service program from April 2018 to April 2019. After which I returned back home to prepare for my graduate school travels.

V.O: What do you want to do after your program?
Me: I want to be an industrial consultant and a lecturer.

V.O: Pick your passport at this location after 3 working days.
Me: Thank you (I was already in a trance at this point)

Congratulations G

Rossycee:

Since no votes were casted, that was a way to determine who leaves or stays.

Alright,tanchu

Eeghe:


This is a long gist but the summary is that all week, the housemates had to acquire as much bet9ja coins as they could, through any means bar violence (borrowing, stealing, groveling, earning in a legit manner they tasks, all)
This started from day 1 I think
Then on Wednesday BB made us and the head of house (and a day later the rest of the housemates) know that the housemates with the least amount are to leave the game today
So after the attendant crazy drama that went into acquiring coins, today came
Those 4 had 80 bet9ja coins each, and were as risk of eviction
And the bit that you know
Cheers

Wow,what a Summary
Succinct!! Almost called for Biggie's head
Thanks

I get Avala and Isi were evicted cos they scored the lowest
Why did only 4 out of the 21 HM participate in this game and not all the HMs?

Patriotician:
Sometime ago, i created a trend about my girlfriend acting all strange and how i later discovered she was cheating on me and in love with another guy. She later made a fool of me.
https://www.nairaland.com/5238413/love-girl-she-doing-me

I also wrote about how she was a good luck charm to me. Yes, she has a wealth magnetic personality and i told her about it. When she left, she told me she would want to see how i will make money.

.......................

After months of frustration, i finally decided to work things out. Although she apologized, she is now dating me and the other dude. My friends were all advising me to play along in as much as things get better, so am on .

When we reconciled, i notice things started working out for me. She calls and acts to care about me, although she keeps contact with the other dude even when am around.

So, today we were together at her work place talking when she told me she would be coming over to my place that evening. In the past, that would have been a good news but currently, i don't want to share a bed with her ever again. Mere looking at her bleeds my heart as i pretend to be smiling to her. I tried telling her i had plans for the evening but she insisted and wanted to be malicious about it so i finally concurred.

The truth is that, i love that girl but i don't want to pretend. I want to be able to express myself and have my girl all by myself. She is my good charm if not, I would have looked somewhere else for true love. I already made up my mind that no matter how things get fabulous, i will never marry her, even if she repents. God forbid!

So, she is coming and i don't want to strafe her. I can't strafe a girl that is shameless to that extent as to be strafing someone else and expecting me to always strafe her without contraceptive. Several pastors already told me i should work things out that she is connected to my destiny and without her things would get stuffy for me.

Right now, am confused and angry. Have been so tired with life that i have decided to commit suicide on Sunday(mind made up) not because of her but because of what am experiencing in general. I can't even tell her about anything, so of what use is she to me ?

I want to make the best of my two days on earth. Please advise a confused brother

Not again pastors
Follow your heart,dont let mortals decide for you
Let God guide you

Imuno:
Hello everyone. Am somehow confused with How I should go about this. Around 2018 I fell in love with a girl who also likes me but says she's not ready to go into a relationship with anyone but people think we are dating. Things did not work out just because of the issue of dating. So we didn't talk for almost a year but something led
To the other and we started talking back now. Now she feel so happy being in touch with me in which I like also. Now she says she misses me and want to see me but our distance is somehow far. She's pleading that we should see each other that we would talk about things. Now, I am confused on maybe I should go see her or just better still just stay where I am and forget about everything that happened. Help a brother. Please push this to fp abeg

If the lady in question is your so called bestie,bro forget it "talk about wetin ,how to change Nigeria "

I repeat Abort!!
Once a lady turns down ur Ist two moves ,ur next move is to Japa,i mean forever
Learn how to leave when the ovation is high.

Victorisoni3:
Good mornin Nairalanders please I need helped advice

There's this girl I met when I was attending a class around february last year and it was that she lives in the street next to my street; so twas easy to get along with her on the fact that we walk back home together. Initially we don't talk when we walk back home base on the fact that we were both shy to talk to each other, gradually we got to know ourselves, but we became intimate on september, one of the days I was bold enough and tried touching her she behaved somehow
Twas later she texted me one of the days that I can kiss, hug or romance her but no sex . Though myself I've not been involved in the act before but atleast I won't behave like a too novice. by Gods grace I've been meeting to her demands anytime she ask for it. But I noticed that since became intimate its as if problems were thrown to her, today she will say she lost like dis, tomorrow she will the same, almost every day.it came to a point that anytime I see any romantic text i'll ask myself what she want this time around.
She dont even come to my house, but be giving me excuses since she's living with sombody


I started ignoring her cos I was just fed up, and since I've stop calling her she has been disturbing me saying I don't love her again, telling my friends and sending me emotional messages.

Please at this point I don't know what to do
I'm A student
Should I just tell her I don't want to continue in the relationship again?
Remember we've not sexed together before.

Is it that I cant read again or what

If you are no longer interested,japa

It takes two to tangle!
Peace.