₦airaland Forum

amicableSavage:
we're dating, i feel she's not taking it serious. i'm a corper, while she's working, in a bank. i really want us to work but it seems she's unsure about me.
just yesterday she said this "If only I could be settled with one person and just start working up to commitment and know what I'm doing once and for all"
she's right. i want the same too, but her saying this just isn't favorable for me.
should i move on? or stilll keep loving her even if the love she has for me is unrequited.

pls advice, fam.

wonlasewonimi:
Now, shut down your pc and pick up your Ababio

Liftedhands:
No probs I dey kampe.

Liftedhands:
Ma'am Kimoni you really abandone us no be small thread cutties is still on every Thursday but you can post any day you feel like
Welcome back though.

goldmine:
Good evening sweet mamas. It's been ages since I visited nairaland. So much water has passed under the bridge but the storm is over. The thought of reading the numerous pages I missed is tiring but I go try. Missed this lively family so much.

All mamas wey don born,congrats. May God enrich you with wisdom,finances,strength and all other resources you will require to bring up the babies he has given you d opportunity to nuture. Waddling mamas,waddle with swagger. Safe and easy delivery to you all. My sisters whose babies didn't complete the 9mths journey,God knows best and in his own time he'll so bless you that you wont remember your past sorrow.

@ soonest , i didn't succeed at opening your message but God bless u. Thanks for remembering me. Liftedhands too ,thank you. Trust Ekene is bubbling. Same goes for other mamas who might have asked too,I've not gotten around to going through all my mentions. My moniker is frequently used in other threads on issues that don't concern me at all.

Zaynie and all other active mamas who remain on this thread to continue helping other mamas with their experience and knowledge,may your fountain of knowledge never run dry. Thanks for keeping d thread alive.

@ tatacherie how's my wife,baby Akela?(hope i got it right?)

Olubankemi, iyabetajos, mitchy, sayoberry, beedam, modath, my ever amiable and kind ahnie, kaffy4bill (did u eventually get a maid?), hajarabadmus, ozycy, kimoni, sugah, blessedtwins, stadora, proudmum38 ati prouddad, too many names to mention. I dey hail o. Your LOs must be so grown now.

Make I stop here abeg. I don taya to type. It's good to be back.

pickabeau1:
Good discussion all

Surprisingly kimoni is still on this her crusade

Carry go ooooo

EfemenaXY:
Green?

That's bold but healthy.

I'm having such a lazy Saturday, just waiting for our chicken and [color=#ffff00]chips[/color] delivery.

cc: Kimoni

damiso:
You are not serious thank God you know you are looking for my trouble

Don't mind me jare, my laziness no get part 2


How are you and the family? How are you 'enjoying' the long school break? Have a lovely day

blank:
This topic makes me sad that's why i have not commented on the topic.

I wonder why women have to give up their careers or make compromises so that they can balance the two. I look back at the driven young lady that i was and wonder how i ended up here. I remember how i made my husband wait for more than 2 years before i married him just because i wanted a career. What's the point? Could have even married at 18 years and gotten it over and done with.

I look at my colleagues that we started together and when i see them in high posts and compare with myself and where i am, i feel so down. Don't get me wrong, i am blessed with how far i have come but i feel (i know) i could have done more.

My dad taught me that i was more than anyone's equal. I was intelligent, i was diligent and i was hungry for success. I was his carbon copy. But when he called me to his room to tell me to slow down and "make a home", it was the beginning of the end. I am a manger in an international company, earning good pay but feeling very disappointed because i know i could have been a whole lot more. Time out for maternity leave and it means you won't get considered for promotion regardless of how hard you've worked. Left a "stressful" job with prospects for an easier job with barely any, just comfortable pay. Didn't take up better offers because we felt that it would be too stressful on my growing family.

Rant over.

damiso:
Hi Bukatyne, happy new month

My brain cannot even reboot t to give you a comprehensive answer to this question. I don't have energy for long long posts on NL anymore . However I think like most things there is no One size fits all answer.

The OP does raise alot of valid issues but like alot of people have said seem to relate more to women in the west.

TV01:
Ineficiencies, tension and conflict. See an example. The point in this post is not the construct that the indivdual desires,but the opportuity cost for others who are in dir eneed of medical services in a "cash-strapped" healthcare system.

The story at the end. A 17 year old wants to transition from female to male, and have her eggs stored, so her "girlfriend" can be a surrogate mother at some point.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3716301/March-Male-Mums-Women-having-sex-changes-NHS-receiving-free-IVF-three-men-born-female-brink-having-babies.html

TV

^{Timbuktou, abeg, you neva finish work 0.}

hungryboy:
All this rich people schools dey funny me oh,
For secondary school were she finish, na him dem wear am gown like say she finish University?,
See as parents even full ground to celebrate am,
For We were go community secondary school,
This kind think dey always shock us,
Cos, the only time our parents dey visit school na when dem come to beg Principal make e no drive us for school fees.

Timbuktou:
That your punch wey be like feathers running on the skin? I'm not bothered..

Timbuktou:
On a more serious note, looking at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Theory, these are the needs of humans in order of importance.

1. Physiological
2. Safety
3. Love/belonging
4. Esteem
5. Self actualisation

Going by this, I would consider it vain to sacrifice family for work out of ego satisfaction. In my very informed opinion, working on building a strong family is far more beneficial to everybody(lineage and society) than working at a job at which you're super-disposable. What would be the point really?

I was at my son's graduation ceremony yesterday(he graduated to Basic 1 ) and he was, by far, the best pupil in his class. I was a proud father, I just dey stand l'emewa(continually) dey snap like say I be pro photographer. . He's a very intelligent boy but I'm under no illusions as to why he performed that well in class; solid parental support with school work. I help with his homework every chamce I get, but his mum deserves all the accolades. Her middle name na "Hands-On". And she is so because she can afford it. When they announced the prize for the Best-Behaved Student, I nearly laughed out loud, I told his mum he could never win that one and he didn't.

I was woeful at his age because I was left to my devices, I don't begrudge my parents that one single bit. They couldn't afford it. Any other arrangement would have meant extreme poverty. It was difficult for them, but they made it work. My mum would typically return from work at 9pm, there were 10pm and 8pm days, but those were rare. And forget saturdays, she had overtime to do plus ICAN classes and a part-time degree at LASU . The woman na winch. Yet, there are women who don't need that money that do that. Why? Just to feel good. I don't understand it. They return late and then spends their overtime allowance sending their kids to the best and most expensive schools, but it is usually hardly enough; they support that with evening lessons with private teachers. Upon all the evening lesson wey I go, my common entrance score was 491 . My popsy was hysterical. .

Nothing beats family bonding time. It is cheaper and way more effective than throwing money at your child's development.

Sorry, me I don't know how to summarise o.

Timbuktou:
Abeg, don't come and traumatise me with you grandma panties. I'm a baby.

Timbuktou:
Kimoni:

Swedish women are that way because that's how safe women behave. By safe, I mean, provided for, protected and a guarantee of a future for their offspring.

Also, I see you're taking the piss with your fantasising. Wetin you wan use outliers do? . I'm a little sleepy now, so I'll just leave you with my response on the concept of work to some comment on another thread.

Well, it also hinders and slows men's careers too, though, it could be a catalyst for career advancement as he'll work harder. Furthermore, the difference between husbands and wives in the work force is needs versus wants. Most men because they need to, most women work because they want to. Yes, there are women who work out of need but only because their husbands cannot afford them a decent lifestyle or that lifestyle they desire.

If a woman works not because of need but desire, it would make sense to take a less-demanding job. It is the height of vanity for a woman to work a job that deprives her quality home time just because she "went to school". Did you go to school to slave at a job brainlessly or to increase your opportunity for better living?
There's a reason why married men are the most dependable employees. Most men work jobs they hate because the alternative is a drop in living standards and even hunger.

That women have to sacrifice their dreams to run their homes is not oppression, or discrimination or man's-worldism. It is common sense and pragmatism. The dreams of billions of men died the day they had families. It cuts both ways. Unless a man is unhappy in his home and marriage, I doubt he would choose having a job that takes him away from home and one that affords him quality time with family.

The difference in how men handle their roles in life and how women handle theirs is acceptance of fate. We have resigned ourselves to our provisioning role. That is what we do. You, women need to accept yours. As my posts on Page1 illustrate, women in Sweden do the barest minimum when the basics are covered. Na so life be.[/]
https://www.nairaland.com/3222060/women-arent-getting-promotion-because/2#47544566

TV: "If you mean that as a woman you should have the chance to join the elite marine corps by passing the exact same requirements as laid down for men. Or a man must not be sneered at if he pursues a career as a nanny, why not? I think there are potential balance and harmony problems even with this type of "equality", but I'm happy for equal opportunity".

TV: "And, if, over time, most settle into the natural norms of the vast majority as I detailed above, no problem".

thorpido:
Serious thesis.How do I go about this research?

thorpido:
There are actually anatomical and chemical differences between the male brain and the female brain.Also there are differences in hormones in the male and female which obviously affects response to information and the environment.
For instance,it's been found that the female brain has much more interconnectivity in its electrical wiring in comparison to the male which might explain why women are better in multi-tasking than men.There's no doubt that culture plays a role in perception and orientation but even then some of the cultures were developed by observation of lifestyle.
In the home,there should be flexibility and either sex can take up roles especially when there is a need for it but no doubt,a particular sex generally speaking will do a task better than the other.

daveP:
uhm..... I need to get across to you in urgency. Good pm

How do I reach you off from here?

EfemenaXY:
Lol! Kimoni free me jare

I don read that expression tire, scratch head in awe tire, na im I say, make I just ask the bladdy question. Afterall, the good book says: "Ask, and ye shall find...something chapter something, verse something"

byvan03:
Lol,every tribe get their own, no too worry yourself.

byvan03:
.

t means " help", mimicking the Yoruba accent where "H" is always silent. E.G House /haus/ = /aus/ .

EfemenaXY:
Lord have mercy.

Bia, on a lighter note, what does "epp" mean?

I've read countless expressions about it...

EfemenaXY:
Morning sis.

I wish I could but unfortunately I can't as I don't know what financial products the Nigerian retail banks trade in. It's a shame the staff there don't know much but their branch managers should do, otherwise what and how do they market their services to targeted customers?

cc: Kimoni.

modath:
This is for the benefit of the ill bred and disrespectful louts who have a problem understanding culture, protocol and tradition.... Who have no respect for constituted authority and therefore go about cyberspace calling people with superior standard slaves and such..... See how it's done.... Or maybe Yoruba culture has traveled far & rubbed off on oyinbo..

Respect!!!!!

jaybee3:
You have mail