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Family › Re: Man Batters His Wife And Demands For An Apology by Kimoni: 12:29pm On May 28, 2016

EfemenaXY:
Yes, I've just read it.

And the story also says she was dissuaded by family members from divorcing him 2 years ago. So yes, another "righteous" but dead Mrs.

Mindfulness:
Thanks to statements such as:

'God hates divorce.'

'Nobody will want you anymore.'

'Your children will suffer if you divorce their father.'

'A woman without a husband cannot be fulfilled and will cry herself to sleep at night.'

Nonsense!

Lol...but God hates divorce naa, His wish is for us all to have a happy union but...

External parties need to stop forcing couples to stay in relationships because we didn't force them together. If a woman says she needs to leave because of what she has endured in the marriage, then let her leave and if she says she isn't tired of the marriage cuz she still loves the man and believes he will change, then by all means, stay.

Nobody should be forced to stay beyond their breaking point. The story says she didn't even scream when the violence was going on, she had probably lost it and was just waiting for the man to do his worst. And he did just that. Sad!

Family › Re: Man Batters His Wife And Demands For An Apology by Kimoni: 12:13pm On May 28, 2016

EfemenaXY:
Again, several Likes for this.
You totally get my angle.
Infact, I agree with your post.
And yes, I intend to push Ed's buttons today. It's been a looooooong while coming.

Your love for Edwife no be today naa, I know that already

@edwife, lucky you. I wish I had someone who loves me this much

Science/Technology › Re: Why Do Cockroaches Die With Their Belly Facing Up? by Kimoni: 12:08pm On May 28, 2016

see queshion, but would be nice to know the answer though

Family › Re: Man Batters His Wife And Demands For An Apology by Kimoni: 12:02pm On May 28, 2016

https://www.nairaland.com/3131757/corpse-roseline-sougie-killed-husband

Efemenaxy, have you seen this story on front page?

She was the breadwinner o yet she allowed herself to be subjected to abuse over and over again till she met her death cry

A a lot women don't have that mental strength to get up and act.

1 Like

Family › Re: Man Batters His Wife And Demands For An Apology by Kimoni: 11:39am On May 28, 2016

Efemenaxy, why are you pushing edwife's buttons naa angry

lol

Back to the story, I think the problem has to do more with this woman's character and less of the fact that she is a stay at home mum although being a SAHM may have contributed to her inherent weakness. Like the husband rightly said, she was the type that never talked back, or took any decisions in the home, so why is she starting now? Hence, he would rather nip things in the bud than allow matters to get out of hand. And I am sure there are several working women out there who also run their marriage like this. They have no input on how the home is run. The husband dictates everything in the home, including how her income is spent; her income does nothing to empower her, it empowers the husband more instead. It's a slave-master type of relationship.

So my advice to women is not to start what they can't finish. Don't be a dummy wife in the beginning and hope to be independent later. It will most likely not work. I know a lot of SAHMs whose husbands will not sleep at home for months if they dare to impregnate the maid. For the OP's friend, the husband has already sent her packing, so she might as well dust her certificate and horn her skills. It's never too late to take back control of one's life. But if she wants to continue being the dummy wife, she should apologize and bring home a more beautiful maid for the husband. I guess the old maid has run her course in the house.

Lastly, like mindfulness said, it's always better that a woman works and earns her own money, at least on the long term. Or have some sort of fall-back plan such as savings, insurance etc The question we should all ask ourselves as women is - if anything happens to my husband's income today, can I single-handedly maintain the living standards we are presently enjoying for a period of time or do I resort to begging almost immediately? Women should always think about tomorrow when making some of these decisions/sacrifices in the home.

5 Likes

Family › Re: Man Batters His Wife And Demands For An Apology by Kimoni: 10:49am On May 28, 2016

quivah:
This cute hector is just too dumb for my liking, and even worse he tries to act smart and that makes him more dumb!

Family › Re: My Marriage, My Future,any Hope..... by Kimoni: 1:18pm On May 26, 2016

zaynie:
Sorry.
Enkaydewdrop, I was banned in the Health Section by ASB while trying to reply Joysa .
I sent you a pm already.
Keep calm.

you don chop ban as you no gree remit money tongue

1 Like

Family › Re: My Marriage, My Future,any Hope..... by Kimoni: 10:29am On May 26, 2016*

raumdeuter:
I wish someone would explain this part in bold

It's contradictory when you look at the statement in isolation but when you consider the whole story, I guess you can make some sense out of it.

Her father was rich but didn't care for his plenty family so naturally, she developed some sort of phobia for rich blokes thinking she'll end up as wife Nos 1 amongst many others and he wouldn't even take care of his family just like her father didn't.

So she preferred to marry a struggling guy, pull resources togther with him and be jointly responsible in caring for their small nuclear family. Hence she married early, as a struggling individual cum student and also married another struggling individual. But still, things didn't work as planned. If wishes were horses...

7 Likes

Family › Re: My Marriage, My Future,any Hope..... by Kimoni: 10:15am On May 26, 2016

Luccicouture - You don't mind a trial seperation but at this stage, you don't want a divorce or a permanent seperation so you are hesitant to go to your mum because he will tell you never to come back since he is not in good terms with her - Is this your main fear? Is this the fear of the future you are talking about? That a trial seperation will turn into something permanent, and you would lose your marriage forever?

So do you have any other place in mind where you can stay and be equally comfortable? Do you have any other support system? Especially someone who is comfortable enough to support you till you get back to your feet since your mum is struggling?

If you have, pls make your exit plans and go to that person who can accommodate you. From there, try to get back to your feet see if there will be any positive change from him.

But if you don't have anyone else and I suspect you don't, pls move to your mum's place. Even if she is struggling, as long as there is shelter, you will always find a way to survive together. Cast that fear that your husband will tell you off aside. Right now, it is your safety and that of your child that matters more. One of the problem in your relationship is that you are too much of a considerate person. It's a strength to be considerate but yours is way too much and unfortunately, your husband took advantage of it. So understand that your happiness also matters in life. You shouldnt forgo yourself because you are trying to please others, your husband inclusive.

So move to your mum's place, and start thinking of how to make you happy. Get a job, practise your business, take care of your child and forget your husband for now. Hopefully, he will come round and seek to make amends and you can take your decisions at that point but for now, live for yourself and your child. You mum will be a great support system.

Tell yourself you are not the first person to go through this type of issue, and because others have survived it, you will also survive. The choice is yours.

5 Likes

Agriculture › Re: Tomato Ebola Hits Six States – FG by Kimoni: 7:58am On May 25, 2016

Ofodirinwa:
Tomato ebola hahahaha

insecurity in the middle belt is making transporting of tomatoes too dangerous to attempt. Middle belters are wise now plus herdsmen are killing everything moving. the Tinubu media wants you to believe otherwise but the fact that displacement camps are swelling in the country tells me the security situation is getting worst in the north. It's now no longer safe to far. crops are destroyed and people are killed. All of these farmers that buhari's brothers are butchering, is it not their produces that's being feed to these cows?

It's ndigbo that benefit for tomato imports so let them continue killing themselves.

Faulty logic else why is it also expensive in the North where it is grown?
Tinubu gives you guys nightmares, sorry!

Food › Re: Paste Pics Of Your Healthy Meal Here. by Kimoni: 7:03pm On May 22, 2016

Efe!!!! You are a true writer. See the kain bad eye naijababe dey take look Chillisauce lipsrsealed

[size=2pt]The mods will soon move this thread to jokes section[/size]

Family › Re: SOS: 23 Years Old Lady In Distress. Hear Her Story. by Kimoni: 12:34pm On May 22, 2016

Silvofitz:
While we appreciate those who have contributed one way or the other to alleviating the suffering of this young woman, I also want to appeal to the woman who's holding the rent fee in Ibadan to please follow this lady to the agent in charge of the proposed room and pay on time before another takes the apartment. I called Ibadan yesterday, and I'm surprised Tope could still not access the money. In fact, the first room she got had been taken, because the woman with the money claimed she was too busy to follow her to pay for the rented apartment. As we speak, Tope still sleeps in the cold. She said she's got another apartment, I appeal the woman in charge of the money do the needful urgently, and let her move into the apartment today.
Also, since #36k has been raised to augment her business capital, let the people in charge make sure this money actually get to her on time.
Whatever I hear from her, I will keep you updated.
Thank you all.

Slivovitz, I can feel a sense of urgency with the way you have dished instructions to anonymous people in this post, emphasis on the bolded. If this is the case, then it's not enough for you to keep saying you are not on ground to resolve anything, but available to come online to whine about the efforts others are making.

If you really want things done "today" and "on time", you should leave whatever you are doing, wherever you are, get to Ibadan immediately and resolve Tope's issues once and for all.

But honestly, you have no moral ground to be dishing out instructions you are unable to carry out, your excuses notwithstanding.

9 Likes

Politics › Re: PDP Sacks Sheriff, Appoints Makarfi Interim Chairman by Kimoni: 10:28pm On May 21, 2016

This party is dead and has lost all goodwill. A new party needs to be formed for there to be a formidable opposition.

Foreign Affairs › Re: Ghanaian Who Slept With 42 Women Used Juju To Catch His Victims by Kimoni: 10:26pm On May 21, 2016

Ghana no dey carry last for this kain matter naa...

Food › Re: Paste Pics Of Your Healthy Meal Here. by Kimoni: 10:21pm On May 21, 2016

cococandy:
Those shorts

Did you tear them while twerking?

You try o Coco. How did you know they are shorts? Cuz I personally couldn't tell if they were shorts or skirt or scarf. I just confuse...

Efemenaxy, which part of Peckham did you take this pix?? grin

Warri no dey carry last

Meanwhile, who took Chillisauce pix on that day naa? With her natural hair and a bottle of sepe wink

we all know Chilli can drink for Africa tongue

I'm sure you don't miss Oktoberfest wink

pls post your drinking cup make I see

Family › Re: A Step Mother Allegedly Did This To Her Two Year Old Step Son. Graphic Pix by Kimoni: 10:12pm On May 21, 2016

cococandy:
lol but I thought they confirmed it.

Cc kimoni

Yeah, that sorry in the link is confirmed.

But the story up here, I find it hard to believe that any sane person will do this. Is it not easier to just kill the innocent baby? What would have been the baby's offence? Then again, I thought northerners are more receptive of polygamy and it's peculiarities.

Food › Re: Paste Pics Of Your Healthy Meal Here. by Kimoni: 4:27pm On May 21, 2016

EfemenaXY:
Now ladies, you know I've missed you all loads even though (in Kimoni's voice: I only drop by mostly on weekends), but I've got a pic for you all. Pls don't shoot the messenger. If anything, better grab the photographer, not Efe.

1st lady - in blue: That's just gotta be Edwife. Very tall, and never shys from taking the bull by the horn. Proper showgirl. :-

2nd lady - in green: Damiso. Always happy, never lets life get her down. Check out her smile sef.

3rd lady - in purple: Definitely Kimoni. Without a shadow of doubt. The serious bookworm. Even now you can almost see her mentally calculating and grinding numbers in her brain.

4th lady - in white: [color=#ffffff]Cococandy[/color]. The model and fashion chick. Check out her shoes. But shoes wise, it's a stiff competition between her and Damiso - not sure who comes out trumps.

Photographer: Armyofone - she passed this information to me.

Notice how the men are kept at bay? That's Chillisauce's handwork...

Question though: Why the rope, ladies??

Lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Efe grin

but looking at it again, I don't look too bad naa, Chillisauce is very correct, I killed it jor. See ma burriful legs kiss

But Cococandy ehnnn, choi!!! Big head, big bone, flat yansh, thin legs lipsrsealed

But Damiso can pose for Africa sha; Efe, are you sure that's Dammy? that Ijebu woman sabi pose like this so tongue

And of course the blue lady, see her face like oyoyo wink

she go stand for front like say na food dem wan share angry

But ladies, you know we are all prettier than this in real life, if not for that outdated Kodak camera and fujifilm armyofone was using, we would not have turned out like this. So pls cheer up.

But true true ehnn I no just understand Cococandy for this picture at all...the rate of overworwor just too much tongue

[size=2pt]I haff looked for trouble o, time to hide behind Chillisauce[/size]

Family › Re: My Husband Is/was Cheating And I Am At Point Of Cheating On Him by Kimoni: 3:40pm On May 18, 2016

jollymolly:
Thanks, your words really brought tears to eyes.

Don't worry love, you'll come out of this stronger

1 Like

Family › Re: UPDATES: I Need Help , My Head Is Full. tnk u all for ur contribution. by Kimoni: 11:53am On May 18, 2016

Alcatraz001:
I dont mean to sound bitter but u cant be blamed because our leaders have finished us with bad leadership in this country. Ant foreigner reading this post will feel Nigeria is a fourth world shit hole.

This attitude displayed by the Op is common with Nigerians in the diaspora who feed off the negative reportage by the media about the state of affairs in this country. I have siblings who grew up in Nigeria but now feel pompous and look down on we in Nigeria even though we dont beg them for money. I state here and now that Nigeria may have its issues but its not as bad as being portrayed vide this thread, we still have basic infrastructure up and running and we have people living well here too.

I hope all gets well soon sha because it seems we in Nigeria dont know how bad thinga have become.

Don't worry, very very soon, Naija will be soo good that we'll be screening diasporans (even with their Naija passports) at the airport before they come in to our country so they won't come and lick the milk and honey that would be flowing in our land wink

3 Likes

Family › Re: UPDATES: I Need Help , My Head Is Full. tnk u all for ur contribution. by Kimoni: 11:47am On May 18, 2016

bebe2:
Sorry for me naa
I no fit scratch pikin body and pack shiit at the same time.

Definitely, I would take the same precautions; infact, I did the same thing when I was bringing my LO over for the first time but he coped much more than I thought.

But I'm sure it will be fine. Pls don't worry too much

now you are reminding me of babyosisi angry

1 Like

Family › Re: My Husband Is/was Cheating And I Am At Point Of Cheating On Him by Kimoni: 11:37am On May 18, 2016

jollymolly:
It is not do me , I do you, if not I would have done that over a year ago. He pushed me to a point where I decided to talk to my ex since he has that listening ear and cos we remain mutual friends after I got married. He is somehow separated with the wife cos the lady doesn't want to live in Nigeria and he doesn't want to leave his work and join them.My husband is so insensitive after I caught him that I feel he is even angry with me for catching him.When I bring up a discussion, he just talk like am forcing him to and face his laptop or phone. From a far you will think that I am the one that cheated and am trying to make things right with him.Does he deserve to be cheated on? Absolutely. My emotions is so messed up that at times I wake up and I am willing to cheat on him in a heartbeat, just that my conscience keep questioning me.

And this is exactly why I would advise you not to cheat on him - your conscience. Not because your husband doesn't deserve it, he deserves it and much more but this is not about your husband. This is about you, your child and the future.

There is a reason why your conscience is questioning you, because it is not right and will not end well for you. Your friend is doing it and getting away with it presently does not automatically mean you will also do it and get away with it. "Anything that does not proceed from faith is sin". Don't let the actions of someone else, even your husband change your value system. I reckon you were trained with certain values, stick to those values and train your child with the same values. The end result will brings true joy to you.

Find other legitimate ways to make you happy. There are so many things in life that can make us happy, find yours and focus on them; stop the fixation on your husband and his attitude, he is not worth it. I reckon it won't be easy but at the end of the day, you would have your intergrity intact.

3 Likes

Family › Re: UPDATES: I Need Help , My Head Is Full. tnk u all for ur contribution. by Kimoni: 9:46am On May 18, 2016

Bebe2, why are you making us feel baddest? cry

6 Likes

Family › Re: Uncooperative Wife by Kimoni: 9:30pm On May 17, 2016

raumdeuter:
Kimoni na your people be this

I bet you no woman, I repeat no woman will be unwilling to help a responsible husband out financially, especially in OP's case where he claims to have been shouldering the responsibilities all alone before now and even set her up in the said business. That alone should tell you we ain't hearing the whole story. The wife alone can tell us what exactly is happening in their home.

- Does the husband hide his salary from her? Some men believe it's a taboo for the wife to know their earnings. Such men are OYO when they get broke
- Like people have suggested, maybe she's actually making a loss from the business but the husband thinks otherwise
- Does he keep girlfriends - if you claim to be broke but still have spare money to throw around, then you are not really broke.
- Maybe, just maybe he was really not as nice when he had a good job.

Honestly, I can only insinuate, the wife would explain her actions better but it's rare to find a woman who would not be willing to fend for her family when she knows the husband is truly incapable. Women are loyal like that tongue

Family › Re: What Is The Right Punishment For A Hubby Who Refuses To Assist In House Chores? by Kimoni: 9:15pm On May 17, 2016

raumdeuter:
Asking some women for money is the easiest way to know your family and life history

Family › Re: What Is The Right Punishment For A Hubby Who Refuses To Assist In House Chores? by Kimoni: 3:53pm On May 17, 2016

talk2alabama:
mr man... a woman is a person who has breast and kitty.. and I believe u are aware a girlfrnd and a wife has got that.. so why ask me silly question?

*In Saga's voice* "another product of a failed educational system" angry

Family › Re: An Informal Letter To Nigerian Women. by Kimoni: 3:47pm On May 17, 2016

Stillfire:
Absolutely not!

Hahaha
strongly worded!

Food › Re: Paste Pics Of Your Healthy Meal Here. by Kimoni: 3:45pm On May 17, 2016

damiso:
Its not that bad try it joor.

Maybe because I am now so used to it I cant even see the difference with black tea anymore.

Hmnnnnnnnn you know I'm not a veteran like you tongue

My mum has also been encouraging me to try it, I will try it sha

Family › Re: What Is The Right Punishment For A Hubby Who Refuses To Assist In House Chores? by Kimoni: 10:33am On May 17, 2016

talk2alabama:
madam if u need help with chores den u should employ a maid. He is ur husband for Christ sake and u gv him some sense of respect! All these end time wives.

I saw your signature...do you mean girlfriend or wife?

Raumdeteur - pls check out this gentleman's signature. I remembered the stories you shared on boys thread when I saw it. grin

Family › Re: What Is The Right Punishment For A Hubby Who Refuses To Assist In House Chores? by Kimoni: 10:28am On May 17, 2016

taryour:
GBAM!!! End Of Discussion.
Kimoni I see you o. cococandy ekale o. how you doing and all yours?

Maami, I see you too o Trust all is well

**hugz**

Celebrities › Re: Burna Boy Mocks Uju Stella, Says He Slept With Her Only Once (video) by Kimoni: 8:43am On May 17, 2016

Ignoramus!!! No wonder he can't win any award.

Family › Re: Man at 38 Not Married, Wat Could B Wrong & Should I Continue wit D Relationship? by Kimoni: 8:40am On May 17, 2016

cococandy:
He's a married man. OP don't be fooled.
He won't take calls in your presence, goes MIA unexpectedly and cancels appointments without warning at the last minute.
If that guy is not married, I'll add x to my username.
Good thing you dumped him.

Those are what we call destiny blockers. He won't get serious with you and he won't leave you so that a better person can have a chance with you.
Until you're 35, then he'll find an excuse to break up with you after wasting 8yrs of your life and in the process making you say no to others who might have been better for you.
Then you start looking for how to start a new relationship when that's not what you planned for yourself at that stage.

Yes he is!

Food › Re: Paste Pics Of Your Healthy Meal Here. by Kimoni: 7:54pm On May 16, 2016

EfemenaXY:
Thanks Damiso.

@ Edwife & Damiso, I tried that una green tea today at a meeting. It was absolutely bleerrghh!!!

How can you two drink that stuff? Anyway, I had a double blueberry muffin to rid the taste from my tongue

but why Efe sad

just when I was thinking of trying it too
Now I don't dare

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