₦airaland Forum

I ordered from AliExpress and had my shipments for our P.O. Box.
I went for the claim and the woman over the counter demanded 500bucks per parcel (2pc)...says "small packet" (cos it's a parcel, not letter) which I declined and opened one of the parcels for her to see the content (a cycling glove) and stressed the fact that the item itself is not worth 500bucks, she then witheld the other one and I received the glove. She says when I have 500 I can come for the claim.
I tried to negotiate 200bucks with her as I wasn't sure but for where...she stood her ground.
I stepped aside to make a call to my pops and played the scenario like it was a NIPOST superior at the other end. At the end of the call, the madam notified me a new package (which I also expected) of mine was available.
I yanked my claim slip back (with a straight expressionless face) and told her I'll be back! and left the post office...
(I'll indeed be back - Information is power)

Phder: When I was in SS1, I mistakenly drank an acid during quantitative analysis experiment, before that day, I used to believe acid is really sour in taste.

--------------------------------
Don't ask me the taste, because my sense of taste wasn't functioning during the incident.

"Base" you meant perhaps...Remember the base is what one draws with mouth through the pipette, acid is measured in the burette.
Else your procedure was unorthodox.

Dear fellas, how about using a P.O. box for China shipping.
At least one would'nt teleport post offices about, looking for where it's actually held up. (Apologies @IseOluwa777)
I did my first buy on Aliexpress a few days back, free shipping with China Post. I'll simply bank on NIPOST for the safe delivery in the Box.
Can someone enlighten upon the Customs saga. Will they really seek to collect excise on all delivered goodies, how do they do this? Stationed at the post office or what?

eeeeew!!

Gas!!
gaz to go gas mehn...
Perhaps it's the initial cost that puts of poor (reasoning) individuals. But this really shouldn't be cos the energy cost ratio of gas to kerosene suggests kero is wayy higher, the cylinders even typically would almost last a lifetime.
My Experience
I was probably four yrs. old when we used to have a particular "gas lamp". Fastforward to uni. period. I got a burner fixed on it's cylinder and jettisoned the mantle thingy. My elder sis. used this and passed onto me, myself passed it to my cousin, who then passed it to another cousin. I don't wanna bother tracking the cylinder again.
.
Last year, having relocated to Ekiti for NYSC circa October, I got me a 8-kg cylinder, burner and gas fill @8k Naira, It lasted me till one week to passing out in June. Although I "patched" up with electricity.
.
A good practice is to always regulate the valve and avoid hearing the hissing sounds while using, this is a sign of excess flow and the gas is burning with less oxygen mix aka wastage.
.
Bottomline
Gas refill is cheaper than kerosene in terms of energy output per Naira.
It's wayy decent in cooking as it doesn't "black" pot.
And no need for struggling to get "that blue flame" tuning the hot kerosene burner endlessly.
And people stop raising the point of *danger* I sincerely believe it's not, considering that kerosene too if adulterated is perhaps more calamitous.

- - d o u b l e p o s t - -

#LessonsLearnt
People stop paying bribes.
When it's too good to be true, don't indulge. It's magga fee!
The "Official scam" by Immigration service is ongoing @ 1,000bucks for application.
#GodForbid! I apply for that crap...
We hardly understand that it's not meant to be paid for...
A kind of "Health & Drugs Cadet" or so scam made rounds last couple years, folks fell big time...30grande worth per individual.
Job search had better not veil our eyes and intelligence. #We.Need.Jobs, not scam though!

Peeps google "Criminal Pricedure Act", "Police Act" & " Criminal Code Act".
Laws of the Federation of Nigeria and pls be informed.
Police require "Arrest Warrant" before or immediately after arresting you when you demand.
Subsequently a "Charge Sheet".
"Inventory Sheet" is attested by such suspect before police holds any of their properties.
"Statement sheet" is where the suspect details the situation.
Implicating the bada§s cop here in your graphic detail would make them chill.
Now understand, bragging and insults / shouts won't help (don't raise their ego). They could manipulate a lot of things.
Control your emotions and erase the slightest fright don't call mummy! and weep..NO!
Hence they wan to thread carefully too...(they still like their job though cos it pays).
Calmness, firm keynote statements with mind control would make them wonder who they have or who you're connected with.
Make a note of their names and / or service no.s, just might need it for concrete evidence.
Ask to see Div. Police Officer, or perhaps Div. Crime Officer..
Firmness, not aggressiveness pls.
__
....They ride on disinformation of large populace, if peeps show them road and land them gbege dem go couple...

^^
...Well it really is gonna be a worst case scenario.
That said...This should be aired somehow on discovery.
#SurvivalTechnique.

The papa must be some really bored retired Administrator.
You go fear protocol...chai.
Soon when they marry the papa go dey ask weekly Situation Report, "Sit.Rep".

Yeah that's not far fetched...ma'm @Kofsy
Devices have been invented as you described since Renaissance to as recently as 1995 in effect.
See Safety Coffin [Click Link] from wikipedia.

^^
I like that..the inquisitiveness.
People like you are mostly intelligent and hardly commit errors.
Because you care to know..you of course know..

@Loretta...shouldn't be
"Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best"...Forgotten whose words those were anyway.
The post seems like humour though but quite "healthy" as it involves survival...'tis why I decided to share..
More comments people...and pls vote for FP.
ps. My first topic!

How to Survive Being Buried Alive in a Coffin
DAVEN HISKEY JANUARY 27, 2010

Today I foundout how to survive beingburied alive in a coffin. Yesterday, I posted an article on taphophobia and I got an email from a reader wondering if I could write-up an article on the best ways to actually get out of a coffin, if you happen to find yourself buried alive in one. So here goes.
.
First, DON’T PANIC!
Seriously, panicking will drastically reduce the time you have to work yourself out of this jam. You’ll use up all your oxygen quite quickly in this state and you likely don’t have a lot of time to start with. Typically you could survive for one or two hours before using up your oxygen, as long as you don’t panic. If you happen to be good at meditating, you could last quite a bit longer, such as the case of this man who survived nearly two hours on the air trapped in his helmet. But of course in his case, he had people digging him out. If you don’t think anyone is coming to dig you out, then putting yourself in a deep meditative state probably wouldn’t help you be able to extradite yourself from the situation; this would only prolong the inevitable. Now try to relax yourself as much as possible. The more relaxed you are, the longer you have to get yourself out and the clearer you will think.
.
Now, from here there are a few things you might do depending on your apparent situation. First, check to see what you have on you. Increasingly these days, people are burying other people with their cell phones for some so that they can call them, at least while the battery lasts. Personally, I think this is a little more depressing than anything, calling and never having them answer. But this is good if your relatives did this. If you’ve got this, flip it on and hope you have a signal and good battery life. Once you get a hold of someone and you know they are coming, practice meditating and relaxing as much as possible to conserve oxygen. Talking to them at length is not a good idea. This will use up a lot of oxygen. Make sure they know this is not a hoax and they are coming with everything from a shovel to the National Guard, then hang up and relax. One simple meditation anyone can master is to simply repeat some word over and over again in your head slowly; might I suggest “Vacca Foeda”.
.
Don’t have a cell phone?
If your relatives were cheap, they buried you in a nice flimsy coffin.
This is nearly the best case scenario. If you get out of this, you’ll be forever thankful for the
cheap construction of your presumed final resting place. Given the weight of the 6 feet or
so of earth above you, your coffin might have already caved in one place or another. This is a good thing. If this has happened, you are literally almost home free (unless you are really short, then you have a bit more work to do).
Odds are, considering you are still alive in your coffin with limited air supply, you weren’t buried that long ago. So the earth should be quite loose.
.
Now, take off your shirt most of the way by pulling it up over your head so it comes off inside out, but doesn’t come all the way off (think hockey fight); so that your shirt is basically now just inside out over your head. Now tie off the shirt at the top so it is sealed.
At this point, you’ve basically made a “bag” out of your shirt that your head is now in. This is to help protect you from breathing in dirt.
If your coffin hasn’t already been breached by the weight of the earth above, use your legs to kick an opening somewhere in the coffin. Generally, the best place will be around the middle of the coffin which is usually the weakest point in terms of being able to hold weight. Best to keep your head and torso close to the opening to make sure you don’t accidentally get stuck in the coffin where you can’t move around because of all the dirt.
.
If you are buried in a typical cheap coffin, it shouldn’t actually be that hard to breach as
the weight of the earth above will already be bowing the top board quite a bit; it is even somewhat likely that the earth has already
breached the cheap coffin somewhere, without need of your help; if you feel dirt in the coffin,
thank your lucky stars because the hardest part is accomplished already. If not, you’ll want to kick has hard as you can to try to get the board flexing. You won’t be able to move the board much because of the weight of the earth, but that’s fine. You mainly just want to make that weight of the earth work for you by kicking the board and hopefully having the weight of the earth flex the board down more every time until it breaches.
.
Once you have successfully breached the coffin, use your legs and hands to push the earth coming in towards the edges of the coffin. Fill the coffin as much as possible with dirt, packing it in, without losing the ability to be able to get your head and torso out of the hole, head first.
Once you’ve packed in as much dirt as you can, simply get your head near the breach and use all your strength to stand up with your arms straight up; you may need to make the breach bigger as you do so, but this shouldn’t be too hard with a cheap coffin. As you are doing this, try to get one leg up out of the coffin so you can further push yourself up by standing on the outside parameter edge of the coffin lid.
If you are buried around 6 feet deep and are anywhere from 5 feet tall or above, you should be able to not only have your arms break the surface at this point, but also have your head break the surface due to the fact that you pushed a foot or two of earth into your coffin.
.
Now getting yourself completely out may take a little time without help, but considering the earth should be fairly lose, should be one of the easier things you just had to do.
Once your head has broken the surface and you can freely breathe, feel free to let yourself
panic a bit if you need to and scream your head off, perhaps cackling madly; I mean, you are about 95% there at managing to escape being buried alive. I think a good healthy manic mad cackle is in order. Go ahead; I’ll wait… Now that that’s done, if no one has come to your rescue, go ahead and worm yourself out as best you can using your arms to pull yourself out, wriggling your body as you go to further loosen the earth holding you in.
.
Now you might be saying to yourself, “My relatives aren’t cheap, they’ll bury me in a fancy stainless steel coffin”. Well, I’m sorry to say, you are probably screwed then. They wasted a lot of money on an expensive coffin for what they thought was just a carcass and now not only was it a waste of resources, it will spell your ultimate demise. The best you can do in this case is to try to tap loudly on the metal with some piece of medal such as a belt buckle or the like. Then hope someone is still hanging around your grave site. This isn’t totally unlikely considering you couldn’t have been there long considering you still have air to breathe. Still probably best not to yell at this point as it would quickly diminish your oxygen supply and probably cause you to start panicking. Best to tap as loud as you can in some pattern, so someone on the surface knows you are still alive. If you have nothing to tap with, feel free to panic and yell now.
You are probably going to die anyways, might as well go out losing your mind (really, better than going out sane as asphyxiation is not pleasant from all accounts).
.
If your family was really nice and wealthy, they’ll have buried you in a “safety coffin”.
These coffins are equipped with means of letting yourself out safely or means of notifying the outside world you are in fact still alive. In either case, these tend to always come with some sort of lighting device that doesn’t consume oxygen, like a flashlight. Use it and you’ll likely find whatever is needed to allow you to alert the outside world that your death was greatly exaggerated. Note, it is generally not a good idea to light a match or a lighter if you have one. Not only might you catch yourself on fire, but you’ll use all the oxygen in the coffin extremely quickly this way.
Now, if you’ve gotten to this point and still haven’t gotten out, you should continue trying the above until you start to feel yourself asphyxiate. At this point, you have two choices.
.
First, continue on as before and eventuality succumb to the lack of oxygen. This is pretty much universally thought of as a pretty horrible way to die as you’ve got plenty of air you’ll be breathing in filling your lungs, but little to no oxygen. It’s a very slow way to die and quite unpleasant from all accounts.
Second, you could always try to end it a little quicker. If you’ve got a pen or something handy, feel free to stab yourself in the throat.
One quick thrust to your carotid artery (either on the left or right of your neck, pick one!) and you’ll be dead in no time. No pen or any other device to bleed yourself with? Well, you’ve probably got teeth at least… As this article has turned a bit morbid *ha morbid*,
I’ll just say, “use your imagination”. Don’t have a good imagination? Think wrists.
.
There is of course also always the chance of divine intervention. Even if you aren’t normally a “praying man”, might I suggest that in this case, you’ve got absolutely nothing to lose in becoming one, and who knows maybe even something to gain even if things don’t work out. I’d recommend avoiding offering God anything if he’ll get you out though. People do this all the time and it makes no sense. I mean really, if there is a God, what could you possibly offer him that he doesn’t already have or couldn’t get himself? It would be like trying to come up with gift ideas for Bill Gates, but times a bagillion. Better to just ask out of mercy or grace for help and possibly forgiveness of any wrongs you might have done in your lifetime (just in case). He might feel sorry for you and help it end quicker than normal asphyxiation or help you get out; either is win/win
.
Bottom line, what you want to try to do is some how some way make an opening in the coffin large enough for you to fit through. You do that and you have a good shot at making it out of this alive. Once you have an opening, unless you are a midget, getting out or at least getting your head above the surface, will literally be as easy as standing up. If it is raining hard around the time of your burial, things could be more difficult of course. But by trapping as much earth as possible in the coffin, you should still be able to stand up and break your head free of the surface at the least; from this point, if it’s sufficiently muddy, you may require someone’s aid to extradite yourself the rest of the way. But at least if you die this way, it won’t be of asphyxiation.
So you’ve improved your situation at the least. Good luck!
.
Now may I echo the sentiment that Lord Chesterfield made to his daughter-in-law in a letter on March 16, 1769:
“All I desire for my own burial is not to be buried alive”.

Source www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/01/how-to-survive-being-buried-alive-in-a-coffin

The default design of the automatic transmission infact presumes using right leg ALONE for throttling and braking. It is basically unorthodox doing acceleration and deceleration at the same time.
In manual transmission the left foot is usually only applied on the clutch.
Any such other moves is extra-ordinary diabolical.
...
...
Try using both foot on each pedals, your brain activity escalates and more than necessary concentration and coordination will be required. With that, pick up your phone and dial "honey" while negotiating a roundabout...Chaos..

If the bride-to be is pregnant, the couple can't be solemnized in Holy matrimony but could as well get "marital blessing" instead.
Otherwise what would the pastor suggest to undo the deed?
We all sin anyway and get forgiven. (Lord's prayer Matt. 6:9-13)
I'd say some things are not well understood by the said pastor and he's judging without competent authority. There is no greater sin or lesser sin, God's grace abounds and He's merciful!
In the "Pastor's" ideological church, non-virgins can't be Solemnised...Crap of the year!
Premarital sex is not a death blow for anybody's marriage.