₦airaland Forum

uuzba:
➜I know the man will be prepared to manage. It is the woman that brings the problem. If she goes to office, or church meeting, she will see other women, hear how rich those ones are then come back home and stop managing with her husband.

A man not ready to provide a woman with a life better than she had before marriage does not deserve marriage to her. And any man who thinks his woman should come in to live as he used to is a man who literally hates women in general.

And any man who thinks his children do not deserve a life far better than the one he was given by his own parents and the kids around him while growing up is a man who also hates his children.

It is OK for you not to love yourself. But for you to inflict the same suffering that is your life on others is a clear sign of wickedness!

Tailorcaesar:
➜Remember you said marriage not breeding kids. And I don't fold my hands all tru the month, am a man I do hustle, hold evening classes and so on. But wait oooo....why will I be dreaming of a car with 40k salary ? If I try that in my dreams make EFCC come arrest me cos na tif dey enter my eye

You shouldn't be dreaming of a car, but you should be dreaming of adding another human being to the equation? You people literally hate women and children since you consider them cheaper to get than a car.

Tailorcaesar:
➜Bro I trek to school my house is 5minutes to school and 10minutes to my church

. Stop lying! Misery loves company is the true definition of many of you who come on here to boast of your obviously stagnant lives as though the way others should strive for. 🥱🥱🥱

You know very well that a man on 40k can barely save anything, and the gods forbid such a man falls sick or has a medical problem....his life might as well be close to the end. Yet you dangle it as the life that a sane individual should not only strive for but take on more mouths to feed? Wicked! 🥱🥱🥱

Lexusgs430:
✓ Why is it a union, if only the man is expected to lift financially....... 🙄

Traditional marriage is instead defined as a master/slave contract...that is how that so-called union is defined. 🥱🥱🥱

BodyCount:
✓ I'm sure it's her mother that's raising her and no father figure at all. I'm sure if there was a responsible man in her life, you won't have the effrontery to even be dating her as an underage... Now tell me, will you want a guy like you to be in your daughter of underage life like yourself? In fact, will you want to have a daughter like her?

Exactly! 🤔

22o62021:
✓ And wheelbarrow pushers are married with 4 children, feeding well.
Many of you want to show off, if your kids don't attend private schools, you will see it as a failure
My salary per month is unstable. Some months I may see 100k. Others 300k Not a salary earner sha

Again, poor people are very wicked, no be small. 🤔🤔🤔

ROK123:
You purposely said that, and it's an insult, what do you mean by grow and BE wise?? You no know sey nah underage you dey friend before?? Person wey just turn 18 abi nah because the mama know about the relationship
How about her telling you to " have sense and become rich/start making money" at your own birthday?? I know sey you no go sleep that day
Accept your mistake abeg, don't be that " I'm always right" kind of man jare. Be praying for her on your own, not shaming her

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

RollinTNDA:
✓ ✓ As someone born in early 90's I have always kept my distance from gen z people.
Here is why
I noticed that the moment you try to reason with them. They immediately think you are there mate. Respect flies out the window During my time, I related with my seniors abd never felt like I was in their level.
✓ But these gen z ppl the moment you try to hang out or chit chat the next thing they begin to treat you like you are age mates.Both girls and guys.
Am I the only one who noticed this?

Well duh! Thankfully, this generation are much less traumatized than the generations before them, which is why they can better relate like humans with people of even older generations, unlike past generations that immediately switched into some gods vs slaves mode when older individuals were involved— due to abuse inflicted on them under the guise of instilling discipline in them. 🤔 🤔

2. Why else would you want to hang around and chat with them? No be so they treat you like one of their own? Or are one of dem old men out there looking for kids to worship them since they failed to get their peers to do the same?

Ten06:
This is what you see when you date teenagers. They are not mature enough to comprehend a simple encouragement phrase. And you are not also mature enough to handle it personally without coming here

A grown man dating a teenager is already a man who is inadequate among his peers needing to find validation among kids without much experience. That is not a wise person to begin with. That child is much mature since she still has her mother, a supposed adult in her life to help her navigate her relationship with someone much older than her. 🥱🥱🥱

Munashak:
U just needed to have added "r" to the "wise".
Na u get fault sir

That would have been just as bad. OP is a middle aged man dating a child. Is he any wiser than that kid who at least knows to keep her mother in her life still?

harjay1986:
✓ Lol I don't need consult any Google for any thing I will still say having a family is base on your decision I have someone earning 30k with 3 kids and also have someone earning 800k but afraid to have a family... Marriage or Children are not needs or want... Needs are something you can't do without as human while wants are something that if you don't have it you can still move on... And Marriage or Children have nothing to do with those two words... You will be the one to Decide if or not... I decide that once I get to 30 years I will get Marry... That's my decision despite earning low as at then

This one brain don reach cracking point. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Cromagnon:
And just struggle alone is better?
what lies?
Growing old alone ain't funny
Neither is population collapse

If you cannot struggle alone and make it on your own, what will adding more mouths(burdens) to your already stressed life do? Make una dey use una head abeg! 🥱🥱

2. Which population collapse? The world reached overpopulation levels back in 1970 when the population of the world crossed the 5 billion people mark. Since then, the only people that have benefited from the boom were corporations that need cheap slaves to make more money than they need. 🥱🥱

The last thing the world needs is more people.

udemzyudex:
✓He is talking about his girlfriend mum being able to view his status.

Is OP his girlfriend? Boundaries are not weapons to be used in policing the lives of others but in checking your own.

Whois:
➜Yes avoid indecent dressed people for marriage. FYI I don marry sha n my due diligence is paying off

Well, glad that Nigeria and their churches/mosques are filled with women for your kind of sense.

Whois:
➜Someone that doesn't want complicated relationships would have avoided any relationship with an indecent dressing loving person to begin with. Inner peace is bae

I am glad you avoid indecent dressing people so they can instead find their peace with others who are not as shallow enough to consider human character associated with fashion sense.

Tailorcaesar:
➜It all boils down to location, for Lagos 100k is nothing but for my place Onitsha, Anambra state Omo I earn 40k as a teacher and I feed like a king cos food, accommodation is cheap.
3-rooms and parlour here is 400k ....so tell me why I can't marry with the salary of 10pk with my woman

Stop lying to people!

You earn 40K a month, and after transportation and other bills, how much of that is left over for food, let alone savings? E yin oniro oshi... stop deceiving others into poverty with you.

GUNITGuy:
➜But a society that dictates marriage solely on financial standings should be ready to loose more than half of it's population in the next 100yrs it's already happening in the white population globally...they might go extinct by their current birth rate in the next 200yrs ...this standards are good but they come with their own effects could be both negative and positive..
Why don't people want to grow together and build wealth ...the truth is there actually nothing really scarce in the world but just what is scarce is the idea and mind to recognize and exploit opportunities at a particular point in time .. .
➜Just this nairaland alone it's a multi billion dollar opportunity for some people only if the idea to try and try and try until it succeeds... The problem we have is most women don't want to go through that with men ...And some men are waiting for the perfect time... Usually if you want to really appreciate your wive it's not when you land a mouth watering job then you develop the courage to get married but when you hear her encouraging words during difficult times .... Most men tend to get bored with wives they met when things get rosy ..this I can tell you for free and behaviors of my friends and brothers doing well.... It now seems she's a burden to their liberty after awhile ...
➜I Notice something they stop posting their love pics and wives pics after 3 yrs it gradually declines ... This was my observation....
Reason most men tend to cheat after hitting it big

1. Marriage has always been about financial stability for at least one party. In old Europe, it was typically men who gained financially through marriage to women from much wealthier backgrounds. During the time of our ancestors, women were traded as property, a tradition that continues to this day, with the price system getting steadily more expensive for suitors due to the economy.

As for population, the world population, which is currently at above 8 billion, can do with losing a lot of weight.

. Since 1970, humanity has been using more resources than the Earth can replenish each year. This is equivalent to needing more than one planet to support the current level of consumption ...Some estimates suggest a sustainable global population is between 2 to 3 billion, though this figure varies depending on consumption patterns.

2. I am glad more and more women are rejecting the struggle-love. It rarely pays women. With over 170 million Nigerians living in poverty, it is insane for any woman out there to take a chance on the same failed strategy that robbed their mothers and grandmothers of their dreams and lives.

3. Well, people are finally realizing the old lies that have typically been used to prop up the majority of marriages in the old days no longer work in this new social media reality we live in. And that is a good thing.

GUNITGuy:
➜But they're allowed to carry olosho and do hookup .... Very reason we are seeing a gradual rise in Social vices ... Standards created by no one becoming acceptable to everyone ....
➜If I may ask how did people before the last two generation were able to have not just one wive but multiple yet had no office they were going to ...they lived on the proceeds of their farm and marriage was done to increase labour for work too...
Both husband and wive went to farm together and had kids that were raised comfortably

1. Do the married ones among them not carry olosho and do hookups?

2. Many of those who were in polygamous settings had wives who hustled for their own kids. Yes, I had a friend whose father had two wives, and several kids from both. Each of the wives literally had to hustle to feed and cater to their own kids, while the man had property that he collected rent from and was able to give them money from time to time. Life was not easy for women and children in those marriages even then.

Our neighbor back those days had no farm, and for a while no wife...his wife left him with the kids cause she was tired of suffering. The children literally survived on crumbs most of the time. It was terrible. And all of this was back in the 80s.

NewLife14:
Now the man (From a supportive family) earns 100K and decides to Marry. That is #1,200,000 per annum (1.2M).
His expected expenditure should look like this:
➡️Cost of wedding =Free (Family Sponsors).
➡️ House rent =Free (Has 2 rooms in his family house).
➡️ Electricity Bill (2K a month X 1 year) = #24,000.
➡️Feeding with wife and kid/s (At least 2K a day X 1 year)= #730,000.
➡️Clothing =Nil (He doesn't change clothes ).
➡️Wife Expenditure = Nil (Her parents supports her and fends for her in his house )
➡️Baby Diapers = Nil (Baby wears Napkin).
➡️ Water (Sachet water and others) =Free.
➡️Baby Food and Groceries (Milk, etc, 5K per month X 1 year) =#60,000.
➡️Transportation to work (500 Naira per day X at least 270 days a year) =#135,000.
➡️Recharge card and Data (#200 a day x 1 year) = #73,000.

TOTAL SO FAR =#1,022,000 (1M, 22K)
Our man will be left with #178,000 (178K) at the end of the year in review.

That list above is how you can immediately tell those who are severely disconnected from reality.

When we say poor people are very wicked, this is what we mean.

bende7t:
➜You really very bitter about men.
➜ Even the grandpas. Omo!!! I rest my case. Kontinu!!!

Telling you that men are not entitled to the energy of women for free means I am bitter about men? Sigh!!

2. Ah! Look, I don't give a flying f-ck whether they are your great grandparents. Let's tell the truth, is what I say.

bende7t:
➜I thought there is an oath of "in riches and in lack....and for better for worse till death do us apart" by the pastor or imam during the marriage ceremony
➜Am telling my fellow brothers that marriage is a scam. We don taste. We still dey inside the matter. Make everybody dey their own make we check something. Good night Ma.

You mean the meaningless words that many Nigerian men make only to declare it their right to cheat on their wives in marriage? No woman owes a man her life the same way most men would leave their wives for the side chick.

2. Marriage is not a scam! It works for those who are ready to see their partners are human beings with the same rights that they too have. There are many people enjoying marriage out there. What we have out there is simply a vast majority of cases of men married to women they literally hate — if you do not see your wife as your equal and deserving of the same rights as you do, then you see her as less than human/a slave for your benefit. It never ends well for men in such situations. And they are the ones who cry the loudest about marriage being some sort of scam.

bende7t:
➜*my own grandpa was and many of his contemporaries were hard working men.
Not farmers with farmland and multiple wives
➜ A man determines the sex of a child because of his XY chromosome while the woman carries an XX chromosome.
➜ Let poor people marry in peace. Biko!!!!Stop discouraging their future partners.
➜ Have seen many couples starting small and are very much large today eg my good friend Doc Obiekwe, Mrs Osunlola to mention a few. Both are female and CEOs of large establishment
Peace

1. Everyone says all these kinds of things about their grandfathers. No one comes out to admit their grandpa was a deadbeat slave driver who used his wives and children for free labor, yet we all know that many men did exactly that. No one comes forward to admit their grandfather was a murderer or a robber, yet we all know that there were quite a few men back there who were just that. And no one comes out to admit that their grandfather was a poor man or a deadbeat, even though we all know many were just that back in the 70s and 80s. So spare me.

2. Wrong! A man does not have the wherewithal to determine the sex of the child. He simply releases his semen and hopes for the best. There are only two possible outcomes, and the chances of each is 50/50 each time he does that.

3. I am against women marrying poor men. Simple! 🥱🥱🥱

4. I don't dey here that kain story since back in the 80s— during the time of SAP—, and since that time, the population of the poor in Nigeria has steadily climbed from just about 30 million in the 80s to over 170 million in 2025. 🥱🥱

In 1985, Nigeria had an estimated 34.7 million poor people, which represented 46.3% of the total population. The number of poor people had increased significantly since 1980, when the figure was 17.1 million, and the poverty rate was 27.2%.

....In 2025, approximately 139 million people in Nigeria were living below the poverty line, according to the World Bank. This represents a significant increase from 81 million in 2019 and reflects a poverty rate of about 61%. Number of poor: The World Bank estimates**

. We need to stop lying to each other at this point.🥱🥱

In Nigeria, for every one person that supposedly rises out of poverty, about 100 fall deeper into poverty. This is because the number of the poor continues to rise, even with fantastic stories such as that you tell of your friend. 🥱🥱

** This estimate does not include the number of poor who are still a bit above the poverty line, of which their estimates are around 30 million

bende7t:
➜ Am also raising children in this economy. No where e touch. If you like carry the whole bills for head. She won't still appreciate your effort. She go leave you or change attitude once the freebies stops. Experience is always the best teacher. Last last all man eye go clear

Do you remain if your employer is no longer able to pay your salary? I wouldn't recommend anyone do that to themselves.

You want her to appreciate you while you fulfill your end of the bargain when she does not demand the same from you as she continues to fulfill hers? That you consider you are keeping your end of the marriage contract, as you are offering her freebies, is all the more reason why she should not bat an eyelid or think to remain once you are no longer able to meet your end of the bargain.

bende7t:
➜I agree with you on the part of women bringing emotional, mental and physical labor upon a man!! Una can stress man to 6feet. We also saw our grandfathers die prematurely..most of them in active service before the age of 70. Only just hustling and toiling for the home while the women consider the very idea of giving birth in that union a privilege to the man. Na wetin God assign una to do be dat!
➜Can a woman impregnate herself? No Can a woman determine the sex of a child? No
➜ Keep underrating Men. Sis, Men eye don dey open. Make una dey, make we self dey. Time won't stop ticking

1. None of that is true! Most of your grandfathers had their children and wives as free laborers in the fields and at home with them. So, whatever toil killed them had nothing to do with that which they did not, of their own hands, impose on themselves. Those wives were not forced on them, and those children were not raped from their loins by those women. That stress did not come out of nowhere at them... they took on those responsibilities/burdens of their own volition. Your grandfathers suffered their own bad decisions. 🥱🥱🥱

Children typically bear the name of their fathers. If a woman is sent back to their father's home by a husband who no longer desires her, those children are most times divorced too. With no means to feed or clothe them, they become unwanted burdens to the women, who then find they have to struggle by all means to raise them or try to sell them as househelps to anyone they can. So, yes, a lot of times children are had for the man and not for the woman.

2. Yes, a woman cannot impregnate herself or determine the sex of a child(a man can't determine the sex of a child himself, since it is a game of chance). However, a woman can live a full life without having a child or a man in her life. So, why do you feel the need to define the life of a woman as only being of value when in proximity with a man, when studies show that women actually thrive a lot better without men? 🥱🥱🥱

3. This isn't about underrating men or whatever you mean by that. This is about pointing out the fact that women can thrive even without men and children in their lives. All the more reason why any woman looking to enter into a relationship with a man ought to ensure that she will equally benefit from the union, same as the man, or maybe consider that she is better off looking elsewhere or going it alone in life. Whichever decision she chooses, the key is to ensure that she goes with the path that benefits her the most, not fall for the old lies that saw to it that our grandmothers and mothers ended up with nothing to their names and dreams in the end.🥱🥱🥱

Time ticks for every man and woman out there, and death comes for all. So, it is left for each to decide what value their particular life will have as they see fit.

bende7t:
➜Really Sis But a rich man can settle for a poor woman in this same naija with little or no viable income of her own?
➜ In this present feminist dispensation where women assume they are equally endowed with the same authority like the man!!!
➜ That your scale is rigged Sis. Time keeps ticking

1. Women bring emotional, mental and physical labor— invisible labor that they are never really ever fully compensated for— to their relationships, and so, yes, when a rich man marries himself a woman, he knows he betters his life by doing so, even when she brings no kobo to the marriage.

2. Many feminists are married, so that one way you dey talk no even mean anything at all. I am against women continuing to give their labor away for free to men who don't value, benefit them, and their dreams, in relationships, whether she is a feminist or not. We all saw how our grandmothers and mothers carried struggle-love for head, only to end up with none of their dreams realized, financially abused, in many cases, also physically abused, and most of them abandoned in marriage at the end of the day. The one's among them who turned breadwinners worked themselves to the bone, propping up a man who literally did not value them. Many were hated by the very man they regarded as their husband— all to maintain the Mrs. badge. No sane human being would want to support seeing the same continue on to even our children and grandchildren out there.

This ain't about any bullsheet authority but about women getting compensated for their efforts in marriage, which is meant to work out also in their good, not just for the man.

bende7t:
➜Unfortunately, it's the poor men that are more in naija now pass rich men because of tpain.
Since poor man should and will not get married because of their financial status and women don't want to marry poor men. Eye go clear last last! Time will always keep ticking!!!

There are literally 10s of millions of reasons in Nigeria today why no woman in Nigeria should ever again consider settling for a poor man in that same Nigeria or anywhere else.

Uzobejeme:
➜Marry someone that genuinely loves and cares for you. Together you can weather the storm.
➜ Most people started at the bottom but are doing great today.

This will pay bills and put food on the table, how? Don't people who genuinely love and care for each other also end up homeless and miserable in marriage?

2. The vast majority of those who started at the bottom remain at the bottom for the rest of their lives. Let's start telling the truth on that.

Solseal007:
➜Poisoned opinions! Marriage does not follow economic indices, it follows the 2 players commitment and determination to succeed in life.
➜ People who are not supposed to be advising are suddenly picking up the role merely because they are unfortunate themselves. Get married to grow in it, you will understand that things improve for couples.

You mean like the determination of the over 50 million married Nigerian couples who have been stuck in poverty over the last 10 decades?

2. Because marriage magically changes the reality of things, abi?

1144AK:
➜Some women, not alot of women.... Data doesn't support your assertion...

Some women are still a lot more than 1.

1144AK:
➜It's mostly higher SES women who give their babies formulas rather than breast milk for the purpose of convenience and because they can afford to do so.

Wrong! It is not always about convenience, as, again, if you googled it, you would see that a lot of women struggle to make enough milk to feed their babies, and so having that extra help available goes a long way. Babies need to be fed more frequently than grown children, and having that backup goes a long way.

Again, try to pay attention to what is being said since STOPPING milk production completely IS NOT the same as not making enough milk.

1144AK:
➜This is not true at all, except in extreme cases...

As I said, visit Google for the many other reasons why many mothers find they are unable to produce enough milk for their babies.

Kobojunkie:
We are talking about a balanced meal— not eating a mound of eba and a tiny piece of meat or drinking pap with a small piece of moimoi— at least 3 times a day, each day to get that moving in a way that can adequately nourish the baby, provided there are no other problems.

Anyway, you can check out Google to find out reasons why mothers from poverty backgrounds tend not to produce enough milk for their babies and end up needing to resort to using canned options.

The information you posted was about stopping milk production, which is different from what I have been saying.