₦airaland Forum

Kayberg:
✓ Thrash as usual.
You claim to follow the GOD of the Bible, but you still find NO single verse from the Bible to support your claims and you want me to believe or accept your lies based on your false knowledge?

LOL... Again,.the God of the Bible says He is God of Israel alone. Are you an Israelite that you would think to weaponize His Law over the bloodline of Israel against those individuals who are not of Israel and have no dealings with that old nation that no longer exists? 🥱🥱🥱

Na the same question I been they ask since the beginning be this oh!. 🥱🥱

dollyjoy:
lol but Divorce happens every single day in Nigeria as well. More than people even know. Sometimes you wonder where the love that made them marry in the first place even went especially the kind of evidence and things they say about themselves in court. I am certain that more women in Nigeria would leave their husbands if they were economically independent.

That na why financial abuse of women in marriage is basically a core part of the marriage system in Nigeria. Even in the Nigerian courts too.

EmperorIsaac:
I can absolutely guarantee that he has made his wife an "independent" woman. Only dependence keep them in marriage, unfortunately!

Endurance formulae of marriage only works on women with devastatingly low levels of self esteem -- mental illness ---- than on women who women who know and see themselves as the same species as their husband.

Wealthyonos:
The laws in the UK makes it very easy to leave a marriage.

The laws in Nigeria also do the same. No be general tradition in Nigeria say if a man gets tired of a woman, all he needs to do is send her packing? The problem is that religion and society make it harder for women to walk out of marriages in Nigeria.

Kayberg:
✓ In reality, you're the ignorant one here.
So, I shouldn't even be replying to you considering your level of low understanding of the metaphysical.
..., I'm still waiting for you.

You no answer my questions up until now but demand I answer the stewpid assertions you, a non-israelite continue to make against other non-israelites? 🥱🥱

Even Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon--- a nation which had some direct connection to the people of Israel (judea was captured by Babylon) did not pretend the same audacity that you religious nutjobs do in claiming the God of joy Israelites as your own (declaring YHWH a liar by so doing). Nonsense! 🥱🥱

Negroid001:
✓ Brainwashing of the highest order. White man has deceived you. They loot your treasures here and promise you a fake one in the afterlife. The fact you're still wallowing in it is what amazes me. Same white white man that brought guns to conquer your ancestors, gave the same guns to bandits to oppress you, it's a pity the only thing you have to defend yourself is the bible. Even Israel your so called God nation defends itself with heavy artillery.

White man did not such thing here their many pastors and imams are Africans; even the babalawos and dibias in Nigeria are Nigerians. Those scammers are all Africans-- political scammers--- scamming their own gullible people as the means by which to build up their kingdoms here on earth.

Mee346:
Being on indefinite loan recovery suspension is NOT the same as outright termination.
In almost all Nigerian banks, this means:
You remain an employee
You continue to earn salary (or partial salary)
Your HR file is marked as pending resolution of an outstanding credit exposure
.

Why would a bank place an employee on such in such a state, though? 🫤

Mrschiago:
✓ I presently work in BANK A (a tier 1 leading commercial bank in Nigeria. I’ve been placed on indefinite loan recovery suspension since a month ago, and still yet to recover the loan as the customer (debtor) is at large. Prior to now, I’ve been applying for next grade in other banks, and doing interviews, I just recently got a mail to come for documentation and medicals with BANK B (also a top tier 1 bank).
BANK B will most likely run background checks on me. I don’t know if these checks will be before offer letter or before confirmation.
Now my question is, should I go ahead to accept the offer from BANK B, while I’m still following up on the loan recovery for BANK A, or should I just decline the offer.
Please experienced people should assist advice, thank you

Why are you being placed on indefinite loan recovery suspension? Did you co-sign the loan for the customer who is nowhere to be found? Na both of una take the loan together abi wetin? 🫤

If your salary has been impacted, I would recommend you go for the second job. What have you got to loose? 🫤

Revealer3:
➜You shouldn't expect a woman you just met to ditch all her friends because of you. This is what you should know instead of asking her this disrespectful question.
➜ You have to prove that you are trustworthy and reliable, There's no girl that has not done hook up, know this and have peace

1. If your intention is for her to ditch her friends later on, you shouldn't even be dating her.

2. If you're proving that you are trustworthy and reliable so that she can dumb the support she already had for you, then you should not even be considering her as a potential partner or dating her.

Again, you need to find and date only those who meet all you need in a lover— as-is.

64kent:
so i stared talking with this babe i liked and we seem to be doing well ......but i noticed that she gets different calls from different guys and the tone in which they speak often gets me worried and i had to ask this question ??
but no she is angry and not wanting to talk to me help what do i do ?

Isn't that like her asking you if you have been plowed by men before, with you of course on the bottom and the other on top?

koladata:
✓ such marriage can only work if the husband is naturally a low ambitious man, those kind of relax men that just want to Gym, womanize and enjoy life.
✓ But if you talk about the usual common African man, Oga the marriage will not last, if you ever see anyone that has lasted, the man is just enduring the marriage, and if you ever have the opportunity to sit with him one on one , you will cry for what he probably most have gone through.
✓ I hate it when people on this forum become so opinionated without wanting to check the available statistics and other peoples point.
✓ You could have used Alakija as an example of marriages that works in this scenario if the husband hadn't divorced her. But the man left her even at old age!!!!!, that is to tell you how much the man has endured, it's hard to find a man divorcing his spouse at old age, but this man did. If i check it now, you are probably not married.

1. That seems to be your particular opinion but there are many examples of such relationships with men who are nothing like what you described there. Also, most African men are that low ambitious type you describe, so may what you are describing is the typical African man whose marriage won't even work even when he makes more than his wife.

2. Well, since most African women in marriages with African men who are the providers are also just enduring, Those marriages that last are built primarily on the endurance effort's of the wives in those marriage. So, I really can't fault you for thinking that an African man in a relationship where he ain't the provider would also just be enduring. 🥱🥱

3. I can't use her as an example because the much we have of her relationship is not well documented for me to claim to know for a fact that the relationship failed because she made more money than the man. I am of the mind that the man may have left before she came to money and they may have tried rekindling afterward the money came only for that to fail too.

That is why I chose to present an international case which we can both find detailed information on.

koladata:
✓ I don't understand you , but any marriage where the wife is richer than the husband doesn't usually last or the man will just keep enduring, look at alakija, that man couldn't take it any longer even at his old age

That some of them don't last does not mean all of them don't last. I don't know who alakija is but I am sure you and I know Oprah Winfrey and her beau of over 35 years at this point in time. . So, you should be asking how can a marriage where the women makes more money be made to last despite the man not being the one on charge of decision making and controlling the money in the relationship.

koladata:
Waaa gba yi .... this is what i've always been saying , once you notice your wife earn more than you , use the opportunity to elevate yourself, investment , business , borrow money from her, i don't want to hear that your wife built a house after you lost your job. How did it even happen , oga borrow me the land money or block money let me use it to do investment first, the return on the investment we can use it to build house then it will be tagged our house not your own house.
Once your wife gets richer than you for too long , you are already a slave in that marriage.

The traditional configuration of marriage basically has the woman as the slave in the marriage. But somehow you balk at the man occupying the same position he formerly meant for his wife. Why?

By Chuck Derry

For many years, Chuck Derry facilitated court-mandated groups for men who batter.
One night, he started the group by asking the men what they thought the benefits were of their violence. At first, they all looked at each other (notably) and said, “There are no benefits.” This did not surprise him, as men who batter routinely deny their actions—as they deny their intents as well. So he said, “Well, there must be some benefits from the violence; otherwise, why would you do it?” They looked at each other again, and then one guy started admitting there were benefits, and then they all chimed in.

Now, right before we get into the list, let me tell you why this is so important. Victims of abuse typically think he(the abuser) couldn't possibly be abusing them on purpose, right, or that it must be childhood trauma, or that he may just have problems controlling his emotions like a toddler throwing tantrums, etc. The fact, however, is far from all of that. It is merely about the calculated need for power and control in the relationship.

Here is a list of the benefits of violence that abusive men cited:
➜She’s scared and won’t go out and spend money
➜Get your way: go out
➜Respect
➜She won’t argue
➜Feeling superior: she’s accountable to me in terms of being somewhere on time: I decide
➜Keeps the relationship going—she’s too scared to leave
➜Get the money
➜Get sex
➜Total control in decision making
➜Use money for drugs
➜Don’t have to change for her
➜Power
➜Decide where to go (as a couple)
➜Who to see
➜What to wear
➜Control the children
➜If she’s late, she won’t be again
➜Intimidation
➜She’s scared & can’t confront me
➜Can convince her she’s screwin’ up
➜She feels less worthy, so she defers to my needs and wants
➜She will look up to me and accept my decisions without argument
➜Decide her social life—what she wears, so you can keep your image by how she acts
➜She’s to blame for the battering
➜She’s an object
➜(I get) a robot babysitter, maid, sex, food
➜Ego booster
➜She tells me I’m great
➜Bragging rights
➜If she works—get her money
➜Get her to quit her job so she can take care of the house
➜Isolate her so friends can’t confront me
➜Decide how money is spent
➜“I’m the breadwinner.”
➜Buy the toys I want
➜Take time for myself
➜She has to depend on me if I break her stuff
➜Get to know everything
➜She’s a nurse-maid
➜She comforts me
➜Supper on the table
➜Invite friends over w/o her knowing = more work for her
➜No compromise = more freedom
➜Don’t have to listen to her complaints about not letting her know stuff
➜She works for me
➜I don’t have to help out
➜I don’t have to hang out with her or the kids
➜Don’t have to get up, take out garbage, watch kids, do dishes, get up at night with kids, do laundry, change diapers, clean house, bring kids to appointments or activities, mop floors, clean refrigerator, etc.
➜Answer to nobody
➜Do what you want, when you want to
➜Get to ignore/deny your history of violence and other irresponsible behavior
➜Get to write history
➜Get to determine the future
➜Determine what values kids have—who they play with, what school they go to, or getting to ignore the process—dictating what they “need” food, clothes, recreation, etc.
➜Dictate reality, etc.
➜Kids on my side against her
➜Kids do what I say
➜Mold kids/her so that they will help do what I should do
➜Keeps kids quiet about abuse
➜Choose battles & what it will cost her
➜Proves your superiority
➜Win all the arguments
➜Don’t have to listen to her wishes, complaints, anger, fears, etc.
➜Make the rules, then break them when you want
➜So she won’t get help against you for past beatings because she has no friends to support her, and she is confused by my lies
➜Convince her she’s nuts
➜Convince her she’s unattractive
➜Convince her she’s to blame
➜Convince her she’s the problem
➜I can dump on her
➜Can use kids to “spy” on mom
➜Kids won’t tell mom what I did
➜Kids won’t disagree with me
➜Don’t have to talk to her
➜I’m king of the castle
➜Can make yourself scarce
➜Have someone to unload on
➜Have someone to bitch at
➜She won’t call the police
➜Tell kids they don’t have to listen to mom
➜Get her to drop charges
➜Get her to support me to her family, my family, cops, judge, child welfare, prosecutors, etc.
➜Get her to admit it’s her fault

Chuck Derry then asked, “Why would they give up using violence?”
➜The men then responded with things like:
➜“get arrested,”
➜“divorce,”
➜“get protection orders taken out against you,”
➜“adult kids don’t invite you to their weddings,”
➜“Have to go to groups like this.”

Chuck Derry writes:
“This was the first time I fully comprehended the necessity of a consistent coordinated community response through the criminal, civil, and family court systems, which can mete out safe and effective interventions that hold men who batter accountable while preserving the safety of the women, girls, and boys they abuse.”

“It was on that day that I realized if I had to choose between providing batterer groups for men who batter or a consistently effective criminal and civil/family court response to domestic violence, I would choose the criminal and civil/family court response every time. There are just too many benefits gained from this behavior.”

To read the full article, please visit https://www.bwss.org/abusive-men-describe-the-benefits-of-violence/.

Love800:
I did not force her. Just letting her to see things and how it ought to be solve. She will naturally involve herself if she feels like.

Lectures are given to people you have rational authority over. You have no rational authority over a woman you are in relationship with that you would think to lecture her on what she should or should not do. She is perfectly fine sticking to the details of the contract that holds you both together. If you feel that she needs to do more then approach her with a reworked contract that sees to it that you give up privileges you formerly had if she would chose to agree to the new. Also be ready for her to present you with a prenuptial agreement in the case of such. 🥱🥱🥱

blesskewe:
After a period of time of being single, I decided to join the dating pool again,for this guy, we had been talking for about and month and few days. I asked basic questions and honestly and honestly he didn't have to lie .....

No adult really lies because they have. We all choose to lie because we have decided the person we lie to deserves to be lied to. 🥱🥱

Thank goodness that he at least confessed to you that he lied. The universe may have been looking out for you or something. Most people who lie don't admit to it, and that same person may even now be lying to several other women out there still. If you don't at least understand the level of depravity that is possible with every human being, even your own parents, then I suggest you get off the dating market and only come back when you are ready the deal with reality as it is.

Common sense is that you only pursue and date those with whom you are aligned. It isn't smart for a man or woman who considers the keeping of contact with an ex a red flag to go after and date individuals who do not hold th same ideas as red flags. It is also not a man's or woman's place to force his/her issues on their partner. If you find yourself in a relationship where you notice red flags, what you need to do at that point is to leave the relationship. Never try to cajole or talk your partner into going from doing things the way they are most comfortable doing to doing it the way you want just because. You are meant to set boundaries for yourself alone and date only those partners who fit with those boundaries you have for yourself.

Kayberg:
➜And you can see you're not making sense here. Talking about the commandments of GOD, you're talking of Zeus, Ragnarok, who is Ragnarok? You watch too much TV. I am telling you about reality you cannot dispute here and you know it, but because you have been cornered, you flip into movie casts! 😂
Let me now draw you back again into the Bible. Because I can see you have not even been able to defend anything you've been saying from the Word of GOD. And that is a sore red flag. 🤣
➜The commandments of GOD on moral standards is not for only the Israelites, it's for the whole world. Do you even know most of the global laws and Constitution are taken from the Bible? Now switch again to your Hollywood again… because I know you still won't ever be able to produce a realistic counter to these facts. 😎

You can tell the delulu/mumu seems to be extra strong with this one. This thing a simple thing, though. A Cameroonian living in Cameroon cannot invoke the Burkina Faso Constitution against a Ghanian or even a Cameroonian living in Cameroon, naw! It is impossicant and not rocket science!

---

Again, for the umpteenth time, are you an Israelite — of the bloodline of Jacob — living in the land of Canaan, where the Law of Moses meant specifically for the Israelites(the people) that was sanctioned as the one and only National Constitution for the nation populated by the Israelites? Are all homosexuals Israelites — of the bloodline of Jacob — that you would think to invoke those laws against them? 🤣🤣🤣

What you are attempting here amounts to invoking the words of Zeus, God of the Greeks, against non-Greeks. It can never make sense, no matter how hard to try! The same way I cannot go out invoking Ragnarok against Americans is the same way, you cannot go around invoking the God of Israel against non-Israelites. E no go ever make sense! 🤣🤣🤣

Let me remind you, in all of this, the problem here is not the God of Israel, who made it abundantly clear that the only humans He interacts directly with by way of His law of Moses are the children of Israel. 😁😁😁

Kayberg:
➜And if GOD will judge, your darkened heart think He's going to be judging only the Israelites? Oh! Shocker: So, did He mention here He's coming for the Israelites alone? You and I know I am not in the category of those your demon can mislead. 😁

The mumu seems to be extra strong with this one. This thing a simple thing, though. A Cameroonian living in Cameroon cannot invoke the Burkina Faso Constitution against a Ghanian or even a Cameroonian living in Cameroon, naw! It is impossicant and not rocket science!

---

Again, for the umpteenth time, are you an Israelite — of the bloodline of Jacob — living in the land of Canaan, where the Law of Moses meant specifically for the Israelites(the people) that was sanctioned as the one and only National Constitution for the nation populated by the Israelites? Are all homosexuals Israelites — of the bloodline of Jacob — that you would think to invoke those laws against them? 🤣🤣🤣

What you are attempting here amounts to invoking the words of Zeus, God of the Greeks, against non-Greeks. It can never make sense, no matter how hard to try! The same way I cannot go out invoking Ragnarok against Americans is the same way, you cannot go around invoking the God of Israel against non-Israelites. E no go ever make sense! 🤣🤣🤣

Kayberg:
➜You're still avoiding the question because it will expose you. As a believer in the GOD of the Bible, this is what the Bible says: This is from the Bible.

For the umpteenth time, are you an Israelite — of the bloodline of Jacob — living in the land of Canaan, where the Law of Moses was sanctioned as the one and only National Constitution? Are all homosexuals Israelites — of the bloodline of Jacob — that you would think to invoke those laws against them? 🤣🤣🤣

What you are attempting here amounts to invoking the words of Zeus, God of the Greeks, against non-Greeks. It can never make sense, no matter how hard to try! The same way I cannot go out invoking Ragnarok against Americans is the same way, you cannot go around invoking the God of Israel against non-Israelites. E no go ever make sense! 🤣🤣🤣

Coly2012:
using the word mule is just an irritating language to use for somebody's partner and help mate.

What you described is a mule, not a helpmate. It irritates you to use the actual word but not the description? That one is on you.

Negroid001:
➜Your God wey no fit do anything for Christians in the north being raided and kidnapped.

The gods of the Christians—all at least 46000 of them— can't protect those of them in the south either. If these bandits were to show up during their Passover night vigils anywhere in the south, we are likely to see a repeat of the very same acts we have seen in churches in the Northern parts over the last weeks. The same goes for the many gods of Islam and of all other religions.

Kayberg:
Does the GOD of the Bible support homosexuality? Does the GOD of the Bible judge them Canaanites? When the GOD of the Bible is going to judge every man, will He separate the anyone from another that He is only for the Israelites and not the whole world? Oya answer these with your usual hypocrisy.

Again, are you an Israelite — of the bloodline of Jacob — living in the land of Canaan, where the Law of Moses was sanctioned as the one and only National Constitution? Are all homosexuals Israelites — of the bloodline of Jacob — that you would think to invoke those laws against them? 🤣🤣🤣

What you are attempting here amounts to invoking the words of Zeus, God of the Greeks, against non-Greeks. It can never make sense, no matter how hard to try! The same way I cannot go out invoking Ragnarok against Americans is the same way, you cannot go around invoking the God of Israel against non-Israelites. E no go ever make sense! 🤣🤣🤣

Kayberg:
➜Does the GOD of the Bible support homosexuality? Let's see whose side you're on… because I can see all the lies in your words glaring. 😂

Again, are you an Israelite — of the bloodline of Jacob — living in the land of Canaan, where the Law of Moses was sanctioned as the one and only National Constitution? Are all homosexuals Israelites — of the bloodline of Jacob — that you would think to invoke those Laws against them? 🤣🤣🤣

What you are attempting here amounts to invoking the words of Zeus, God of the Greeks, against non-Greeks. It can never make sense, no matter how hard to try! 🤣🤣🤣

Loserlose:
✓ Hello, I have been in a relationship for a bit over a year and a lot of hurdles and hardships are happening and I need some serious advice but from a seasoned woman. I say woman because my partner would prefer a woman as she thinks the advice wont be biased.
I could make it worth your time. Everything will be through WhatsApp. Yes I am a African American foreigner. +1 3147126344

Tell the woman that she is best seeking help from a mental health counselor/Psychiatrist, or a Doctor, depending on the nature of the issue.

Love800:
✓ You can lecture her about helping in less rigorous roles. Put it in detail so that she see reasons in dem. It will prompt her to assist.
Its all about planing, even if you earn more.

Lecture someone you claim to love after you have signed a marriage agreement that clearly spells out how things ought to go? Na women wey dey endure people with this mindset I dey pity the most. 🥱🥱🥱

MarketDispatch:
✓ A wise man once said: in some marriages, the husband will be planning for the whole family, whilst the wife will be planning for herself alone inside the marriage

Some husbands also plan for themselves alone in some marriages, too.

Coly2012:
✓ Funny enough my wife is a nurse and work in 2 different facilities, I trained her and paid all the bills while she was schooling without support from her family or mine and now she is working and financially doing ok more than me, so you are expecting me to still plan my family with only my income by the idea of this your post? ... The truth is that every family is unique and no family are the same, so what works for you might not work for me. To me this your post is a beautiful nonsense as far as my family is structured.

You trained her therefore she is a mule for you? Yikes! The way you put it, ehn...🥱🥱

Diamond098454:
✓ If I earn more than my husband and we lived in a rented house. I won't send our kids to public school no no no
I will take care of every thing concerning our kids education, I will take full responsibility of myself and contribute 30 percent of our feeding but my husband should be ready to pay rent and take full responsibility of other basic things

---

Good for you! But I wouldn't recommend this as the way to go for all women out there. 🥱🥱

Diamond098454:
✓ running a family is not just for one person . It may bring the person down, it takes two to build a home and it two to tangle
✓ If a wife can't help her husband who will she help?

Not when your marriage contract is traditional in the sense that the man is the provider while the woman is the submissive partner.

2. The woman can always help herself make her children at that. For instance, she can hire a maid to do her chores, a nanny to handle the kids and maybe even take them out regularly while she invests her time and energy into keeping herself looking good and on her business or job. 🥱🥱🥱

There are literally so many women out there doing exactly this, even female billionaires who live this way. 🥱🥱🥱

JIGGERNAPPY:
✓ Cho Cho Cho, the question is simple; are you married?

There are married people out there existing as op described even here in saner climes and they are doing well that way too. So, what problem do you have with his idea?

Unless you are ready to have your marriage contract redone and maybe even have your wife throw in a prenuptial for her sake, I suggest you stick to whatever original agreement you both has when you first got married. You don't expect her to add her money to the pot without expecting you to give up on many of privileges you once claimed in the marriage, do you?

HacheNoire:
✓ Is when you don’t have money you will think women need money. Have the money and you will start knowing time is more expensive than money.
✓ Have both and she will say you don’t flaunt her on social media and events. Do so, and she will say you demand too much sex. Regulate your sex drive and she says you avoiding her and have a woman outside.
✓ Those creatures are insatiable. You will just die young if you react to everything they spew.

1. Na poor man dey always think say all he needs to bring to the table na money.

2. Na rich robots dey pretend say money, time, and regulating of sex is all it takes. Intelligent humans instead know that they need to also be able to match the woman's energy in the relationship. No woman or man, for that matter, likes to be married to a man who does not value emotional and spiritual(not religious nonsense but social) connections in addition to the basics -- time, money, and or physical labor.

Ask any man out there if his wife, who shows no emotional or social connections to him he thinks she loves him, and the answer you are likely to get is a No. Relationships thrive on emotional and social(spiritual) connection. Not just money, time, physical labor, and sex; those are just icing on the cake.

Same way a man yearns for emotional and social connections with his wife is the same way the woman also yearns for the same. And this entails the need for emotional and social intelligence on the part of the man. If you have to wait for the woman to tell you or teach you what she wants, that is a clear sign of a lack of the emotional and social intelligence needed to make a relationship work in the first place. And that ain't a woman problem. It is not a woman's job to teach any man these basic things every human ought to learn.