₦airaland Forum

Martinez39s:
✓ I would ask her who the father is. Regardless of the answer, I would tell her to get her baby and go camp with the guy who impregnated her. As father, you must warn your daughters early on to avoid unwanted pregnancy or at aleast make sure they get pregnant for a guy who is capable and willing to house and take care of them and their kids.
If you get pregnant for a guy, you are leaving my house to go stay with him and I won't be responsible for you and your child. If the guy happens to be a bum or one irresponsible bad boy who wants nothing to do with you and your child, tough luck and go fend for yourself.

Like this formula has ever worked out, the many millions of times it has been rebooted before now. All you do by foisting your daughter on the same person who didn't think before impregnating her is increase the chances of her ruin and that of your grandchildren, too.

We need to start thinking with that brain we claim to have. 🥱🥱

bigpicture001:
✓ HV u thought about the limited resources u hv to train ur remaining 3 children will now b used on 5 children....
Dnt u think it will breed poverty..?

Your 22-year-old needs to go out and hustle to raise that child. The father of that child also needs to hustle to raise that child too, assuming he is a jobless boy somewhere. If he is not, then he should either be paying child support or having to take care of the child at least 2 weeks out of each month. The first should be the better option both for your daughter's sake and the baby's. This agreement should be formalized to ensure the man is unable to drop the child off with relatives when it is his turn to care for it. .

bigpicture001:
✓ What about her child

The baby is your grandchild and your blood. You should do all you can to protect it by ensuring, if possible, that both the father and mother raise it properly and with love. I am not suggesting you force them into marriage. Rather, you can help them work out a court-sanctioned schedule that includes the child in both their lives—not just your daughter's life.

Again, if both your daughter and the boy who impregnated her have court-approved shared/joint custody, then they will both need to spare time to take care of the child. Instead of having just the one person --- your daughter, most likely -- having to sacrifice all of her life and dreams to raise the child.

bigpicture001:
.✓ you have a young adult family of four children.. your daughter of about 22years got pregnant and brings it home...As a father of the house what is your next line of action..?

⚉ Is the gal working? If yes, let her know that she would need to begin paying rent or at least handling some bills to remain in the house(make sure it is not too cheap for her), in addition to providing for her child. Let her start seriously earning her keep in the household.
⚉ If she is not working, inform her that since she has decided to take on adult burdens of her own, she must also begin earning her keep while staying under your roof.
⚉ As for the father of the child, locate him immediately and ensure your daughter files in the courts to have him pay his share of the child's upkeep.
⚉ Better yet, demand that your child share custody of the baby with the father of the baby instead, so that she, too, can work on her own life while caring part-time for her child. If she can get two weeks on and two weeks off, that might work out for her, too. The father of the child should not go Scott free.

saintopus:
Till tomorrow no one can answer this question. You see relationships are complex things.

This is the way an ignorant mind will always to think of that which has long been apparent.

LoneSoldier:
This is a question thrown to all, why do women cheat on good men?
You see them saying they want God fearing, gentle and hardworking men, but the slightest given chance they cheat on the said God fearing man which they once asked for?
So, why do women cheat on good men?

It is the exact same reasons why some men equally cheat on good women. As a matter of fact,but is the very same reason why people cheat on even those they consider bad people. 🥱🥱🥱

Next ridiculous question! 🥱🥱🥱

Kaido:
Instead of marrying a Black American settle with an Asian woman. Most Black American women wahala no be here

Are you, a a black Nigerian, without your own brand of wahala, abi? Nonsense dey talk! 🥱🥱🥱

Bigchris01:
Onlyfans babes eyes nor clear normally na mainly OS full there

And so? The almost 300 . million mostly men paying them are not complaining that they are being defrauded so which one is your own?

MrSly:
Entrepreneur, built a brand. What is the name of her brand? .

It is right there in the OP for you to check out for yourself if you really want to.

jeff1993:
What did she do to work so hard t 16 to get a car and rent a new apartment?
WOMEN WOMEN WOMEN!!!!

Why are you against women being able to work hard and make a life for themselves at that age?

ajalawole:
✓ Those female tiktocer don't give a f***kd. I know a lady who leave her 2month marriage because she starts seeing money from tiktok. Marrying a tiktockers hmmmm

What is wrong with ending a two-month unfulfilling marriage to work on her career,abeg? Must she sit right in a situation that she sees leading her nowhere she wishes to go?

kiddaz:
✓ I hope it's not onlyfans. But then a girl at 17 shouldn't be living alone. She's going to get hit by lots of shiii she won't be able to fully grasp. The mother was wrong too no matter what, you don't speak negatively into your kids lives. Wish her well no matter what

If it is Only fans, na crime? .

A girl was kicked out at 17, but here you are looking for reasons for why she should not be allowed to thrive, why? 🥱🥱

saphiere:
God bless the girl.
Mama is just feeling she's too young to stay alone.

Feeling after kicking the gal out of the house? Nonsense! That is a mother that is unhappy the gal will not come groveling back or something. 🥱🥱🥱

themanderon:
Foolish gen z. She will be running back home by the time the realities of life sets in.

African and ignorance.. you are told in the OP that she wws kicked out at 16 by her parents. But here you still dey yarn dust for the sake of yarning dust. To wat end?

koning:
✓ At 17 ?!.
I hope it's not through Only Fans. Selling her azz. Only in the West.(Saner Climes).

So what if it is only fans? So long as she ain't committing a crime, she is allowed to do better than you, or isn't she?

lagostrendboy:
https://eyesoflagos.com/17-year-old-girl-shares-message-from-mother-after-moving-into-her-own-apartment/

Sounds like one of those controlling and conniving mothers out there.

The gal of grave and industrious. Kicked out at age 16 and already have a semblance of an organized life at 17. So long as she ain't committing a crime, I hope for the best for her.

Cromagnon:
➜Society din say Jack. Just some loud mouths forming overly righteous

Those loudmouths happen to be the voice of society, even to this day, hence the decay that persists; more than 60 years on, and the decay can be smelt everywhere you find Nigerians. Something for all to think about.

kiddaz:
✓ But women say and use that all the time. Only treat him like a king if and when he treats you right, ✓ only do such and such when he puts a ring on it.
✓ A woman's love to a man is always transactional. I'm glad even women are starting to agree they're the greatest manipulators and can never truly love. Thank you very much 😊

It does not matter what gender initiates or inflicts abuse on the other; abuse is abuse. 🥱🥱🥱

2. I assume I am talking to a sane human being here. Why would a person treat another person right if that individual treats them bad? How is the victim in this case to be considered an abuser? 🥱🥱🥱

3. If you don't want to put a ring or whatever the legit contract may be, what happened to moving on? Why does telling you that abuse is wrong a reason for you to think that women then ought to open their legs to you just because? Again, I am responding here cause I expect I am conversing with a sane individual.

4.. Marriage/relationship is transactional, but that in no way provides justification for that which is instead abuse/manipulation which always takes an emotional/physical/mental/financial toll in the partner that is the victim.

jojothaiv:
➜Human beings particularly women are predictive and typical, there's a thread in which murdered her husband by dousing him with fuel and fire as usual, most logically and emotionally women of Nairaland didn't bother hopping on that but on cases like this you'd see them jumping upon and down, quoting this quoting that.
Surprised, hell no, in the words of Nosa 'na your way'

I am just curious, is all! What is there to argue or debate about an apparent crime? Are the opinions of Nairalane females required to prosecute and sentence the woman in that case?

Kavarat:
➜I have but you know I don't want to lose my job as it is a major. Also finances is also a factor as I am not buoyant at all at the moment

I am afraid there is not much I can do for you in this area.

Kavarat:
➜Have you seen the pics on my profile sir

Yes, I am afraid I am not in Nigeria and unable to help in any way.

I was concerned about your depression, as that is a problem that can lead to major setbacks in the lives of those impacted. Yes, having depression is like having blinders on, if one is not careful, as one loses part of one's ability to confidently process data and opportunities that may be right in front of one's own eyes. Hence the reason why the urgent need to tackle the underlying issue to lift the cloud asap.

You say you are a banker; have you considered taking a vacation and maybe getting treatment for a week or two to refocus your mind?

Kavarat:
➜Okay sir. I am tempted to type my request but I am scared of been banned. Nairaland.com is not the same

. Now I see it.

Kavarat:
➜Youcan open one. It is really a land of opportunities

I am not crazy about such things at this point in time.

Kavarat:
➜Check the picture on my profile sir.
If I post my request. I will be banned. I have done over five times

i don't have a LinkedIn account, though. I just tried to view it and was redirected to the login page.

Kavarat:
➜Find attached my linkedin page.
Though for privacy I will take it down sir
https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmanuel-okomilo-6022b7352?trk=contact-info

I don't have a LinkedIn account, so I am not able to view that page at all.

Kavarat:
➜Ok sir. Thank you for the time especially to wait to hear me out

I don't see what you say is in your signature. This is an anonymous forum, so why not simply post the problem here since you are now able to post?

Kavarat:
➜I have tagged you with a picture on my signature. My alternate was banned. It is kavara that made the depressed post.

I am aware that you created this thread.

Kavara/Kavarat, send mail to Nairaland moderators to clear the issue with your inability to post responses to me first.

Kavara:
➜Please they keep banning me. If I trued to quote you

. Then simply stop quoting and just add a reference to my moniker to get my attention.

Kavara:
➜Please they keep banning me. If I trued to quote you

You would need to talk to Nairaland moderators about that since that happens to me from time to time, too. And to date, I have never received any tips or information on how to avoid being banned by the bots on here.

Kavara:
➜Good evening sir. Please can I pm you sir. Can we talk via mail sir

I am not available on PM or email. I don't really have a social media presence that is worth investigating, so Nairaland is where I do much of my conversing.

JuanDeDios:
➜But you don't know, do you? Anyway, you miss the point of the story, probably in your hurry to respond. The point is that suggestions that men treat their side chicks better are based on a very narrow viewpoint because this wife came to a conclusion based on a single fact she found out. He took someone to a nice hotel. He has not taken me there. Proved: He's treating her better than me.
➜ The fact, however, is that in the grand scheme of things, no man treats his side chick better than the wife. It's always the wife first, so whatever he does for the side chick, the wife already got far more. All the story proves is that men treat their side chicks DIFFERENTLY from their wives. Differently does not mean better, miss.
➜ I'm not commenting on the morality of cheating, so let's the keep the lecture about "abusing her" for another time.

1. There is no point if you failed at providing evidence of it, though. 🥱🥱

2. The opposite remains the case in a majority of the cases. The wife receives abuse while the sidechick receives attention and gifts for doing nothing near what the wife has to do or put up with. 🥱🥱🥱

3. I have said nothing of the morality of anything as well. I simply pointed out a fact of what cheating literally is: an intentional form of emotional and sexual abuse, an act born of cruelty, deception, and manipulation.🥱🥱