₦airaland Forum

harjay1986:
✓ Do you even read the story at all abi, just because you are not in any relationship make you bitter... read again there is no where Toxic or unfulfilled is mentioned ... the poster was not even saying anything about people that choose wrongly .... the poster was just creating awareness on some people that have it all but due to a little issue in the family they quickly find solace in outsider ...
✓ In short the poster explain how it is easy for me and you to buy Data from our favorite Network like 20gb to 1Tb which is easy to do like an outsider but can the outsider own the Network provider

Report after report have confirmed that the major reason women seek divorce is because they are unhappy in a toxic and/unfulfilling marriage. Also, the vast majority of women who seek divorce do not regret it of ever which to go back to the men they abandoned.

Simply our, OP is a liar and a rage bater! 🥱🥱

2. Again, this brain -dead analogy does not mirror reality of divorce making women as reported by numerous of research at this point in time. So, what exactly are you arguing, abeg! 🥱🥱😘

kelechi50:
✓ Based on your statement, will you remain or allow your sister to become a side chick to a married man for life

Look, genius, most women don't give a fork what others really think or seek permission from anyone in order to become a sidechick.

Came4amod:
➜Leave your own too .. and when it's time. For school fees and Oga and spent money on drinks don't come here for advice

Are you certain you are doing OK there?

➜OP, don't let "jealous" people spoil your joy. Stop listening to people that cannot maintain a relationship, not to talk of a marriage to tell you that your man is not special.
➜ Continue to cherish your home, your man and your family as you have been doing. God will continue to bless your home. If it's easy, they should run am.

Just wanted to add or should I say, correct a couple of misconceptions here.

➜ A relationship is maintained by two individuals working together to keep the union going. An individual alone cannot maintain a relationship — for instance, a romantic relationship —as it takes two to tangle. In the case that an individual alone carries the responsibility of maintaining the relationship, that individual is said to be in a relationship with himself/herself... this is typically the case with many married single women out there.
➜ There is no God in human relationships. There are, instead, human beings steering the wheel when it comes to human relationships. No amount of prayer, fasting, or religiosity can mend or make a relationship happen if the humans involved do not desire that result.

AndroBlaze:
➜There is a very entertaining ( old ) HBO series called "Big Love" which is about how some splinter Mormon groups in the USA still practice polygamy.
It'll help you understand a bit how their polygamy isn't always pushed by the males....but yeah this one is a bit different sha since the woman is already partnering with 2 men simultaneously.

It seems you didn't bother reading the post before responding at all. What aspect of the story about a woman who claims she has two men in her life — a husband and a baby daddy— wanting a sister wife makes you think this is something about Big Love & polygamy?

SeaTrade:
➜Met this girl a while ago , Really pretty and all,great home too. You know nau,as it's still new,plenty callings and communication,couple of outings and what seem like dating ensued almost with little to no effort.
My suspicions started coming up when I had to send money to her and got her full name.
So I bomb instagram, Na em I come see say na insta baddie with 30k followers I dey with and top boys dey follow the chick wella. I told my guy ,e say e no mean anything, but still I had my eyes on her and didn't take her serious. She no dey bill me,total I've spent on this girl in cash giving is like 100k+ and outings. Anyways one day babe come crib come dey tell me say she dey go club,I gats sit am down ask am what she wants from all this we're doing because e no make sense say we dey want date and you want go club alone, She complied and all and responded well,set off to the club and even told me to wait up for her ,no show. So I bone the chick for a while,wasn't talking to her no more and all and omo ,that was my greatest mistake. Na so so champagne dinners I dey see,notes flaunting (all currencies oo), high end trips and private jets mehn Them dan carry my babe ooo We still talk and all but no more skin diving again,na to rubber up henceforth . She likes me no doubt,but the world has got her for now,so na just play things henceforth. Share yours

I am sorry, what? From your own story there, she was never your babe, as you were merely some sort of situationship for her. So, why are you insisting that she is your babe and likes you? You mean she liked you for quick cash and sex, and that is it, abi?

Erfolg:
➜ My guy, stop generalising, I dey with my beautiful oyinbo and can’t trade her for anything. Dey there, carry all your local man, dirty Nigerian mentality and expect white woman to accept every rubbish like Nigerian women do. Become civilised, educated and emotionally intelligent and see how the chemistry with oyinbo babe make sense. I also forgot, don’t look for hoes, hoes are not interested in relationship. Go for European whites who still have values.

Indeed! Nigerian women too dey accept rubbish from Nigerian men in the name of relationship and marriage. 🥱🥱🥱

Host78:
➜actually this is why most women file for divorce.
➜ They feel they can do better based on the attention they are getting from outside.
➜ And it's sad/funny because once they are out they start going after other married men.

O ni ro oshi le le yi! Which women out there file for divorce, hoping the world would then come take care of them? Nonsense!🙄🙄🙄🙄

2. I can almost tell from your posts that you are one of the men women need to do everything to avoid. 🙄🙄🙄

3. You don't have to be a genius to know that a Nigerian woman is better off as a side chick than as a wife, given that Nigerian men treat their side chicks like princesses while their wives are treated no better than glorified baby mamas. So, choosing divorce to go out there to date married men instead is technically a promotion, not a demotion, for many of these former wives.

Host78:
➜Most married women are in this boat currently. I did not say divorced women o. But women who are currently married. And they are considering divorcing their husbands. Most women think because they are getting attention when married, they will easily replace their husbands.
For some the attention is from their ex. For others it's single men. They forget that the garden is beautiful to people passing by because they don't know how much dirt they owner has to become to make it that way. When a man is not paying your bills but getting your attention and sex on a platter, he'll definitely give you every attention. Wait until you become his responsibility and see if he'll still be the same man. Wait until he bear that responsibility for 1-5 years and see.

Na these useless stories dem use deceive your great-grandmothers, grandmothers, and mothers into engaging endurance mode in marriage instead of escaping for their lives from toxic/unfulfilling and unhappy marriages to embrace instead peace and contentment of being on their own. This is 2025, stop thinking that spewing the same ridiculous tales from delulu-land. Women are finally realizing that their lives are worth more than toxic, unfulfilling, and/or unhappy marriages.

RevenuesBoost:
➜True, but if you check, only 5 out of 100 homes in Nigeria you'll see the man helping his wife with house chores, or baby sitting the kids.
➜ Every man that doesn't act like a normal Nigerian man deserves to be praised.

Well, that still ain't no reason to try to shift the indicator to make it seem as though aiming for the bare minimum — what shoud amount to a C grade in real terms — should now get men an exceptional score when women who have been doing the same for the longest barely get any recognition still.

2. Wrong! Women who do the same typically get a mere C for doing that. Men who do no more than the average woman out there should equally get a C grade, nothing more. There is absolutely no reason why the standard should be different for a man than it is for a woman.

The same way you had to be in the same class with the boys and got graded on the same curve as they were, you should also do that with those same boys, some now men, in the school of Life. Stop thinking that by shifting goal posts for one gender, you make yourself a better person or seem better in the grand scheme of things. That is all an illusion and nothing more.

Nnamdipapa:
➜What lady are you talking about Kobo?

The one from your OP.

AndroBlaze:
➜I wonder what makes you think she is not being serious.

Na woman dey marry wife for man? If yes, which of the two men is she trying to marry the sister wife for or to?

Nnamdipapa:
I see new things everyday on FB and hands down, this is some crazy shit. This lady is searching for a sister wifer for her husband and baby daddy.
'I’m currently looking for a sister wife, I come with 2 men which is my handsome husband and my kids father. I can do all the cooking. I don’t put my mouth in private places. I need you to handle that for me and I will make sure my men are gentle.
Send in vid of your skills. I’m willing to give two days off ONLY!"

She is obviously not being serious. What else do you know about the lady whose Facebook page you got this from? 😏😏😏

We4all:
Any man that leaves all the responsibility of taking care of a baby for the mother alone is not ready to be a dad. Those chores you mentioned are normal things that every dad should do. Unfortunately, most Nigerian men shy away from doing them because of the shallow mentality exhibited by Africans which put men on a pedestal whilst women are made to endure suffering. So, if your husband is taking care of the baby both of you are parenting, he is not doing you any favor, but doing what he is supposed to do as a dad.

I was about to point out to the OP. OP, please take note!

A man should not be considered exceptional for doing the bare minimum that any man and father of his own child should be expected to do. Same way, a woman should not be considered exceptional for doing the bare minimum that any woman or mother should be expected to do. 🥱🥱🥱

MsJackson:
➜ I agree. I've made up my mind. By illegally filing, I mean that we were separated for only two to three months before he brought divorce papers of dissolution of the marriage without me being served any court summons, everything happened without my knowledge. But regardless, I'm gone from there.

Just to be safe, I suggest you legally file for divorce from him so you are completely cut off from him, since you said your marriage was registered. The last thing you want is for this man to be able to come back, in the future, to claim your property as his, because being married to someone means that everything you have, particularly for the woman, technically belongs to the man, too.

MsJackson:
➜no i haven't filed. He did the filing, though illegally. It's my story. His dad insists he still wants the union and reconciliation but his son is saying no. And I want to move on.
➜I was just wondering what reasons could make the father reject the bride price. Anyways, I won't allow that deter me from moving on.

1. Could you please explain what you mean when you say he illegally filed for divorce?

2. Marriage is a contract between a man and a woman. It does not matter the opinion of other parties in this, so long as the man and/or woman is no longer interested in the union.

3. It is likely a selfish reason, so I would suggest you not concern yourself too much with such things. Humans are notorious for doing anything to protect their interests, no matter who is involved. What matters is that this man does not want to be with you and probably dislikes you at this point in time. Your priority should be to distance yourself from him as soon as you can so you can begin focusing your energy on yourself and developing yourself.

So long as the union was registered in the court, nothing stops you, as the woman, from initiating the process towards gaining your freedom from the union. Do not make yourself some sort of kickball between a father and son whose disagreements should have nothing to do with you.

MsJackson:
➜oh the marriage was actually registered in court, but he brought fake divorce papers exactly 3 months after the separation, without any summons to the estranged wife.
➜ Now his family are refusing to collect the bride price. He said return the bride price, but his father said no. Hope the woman can move on without any consequences?

If the marriage is registered in the courts, then all she needs to concern herself with is filling out official divorce papers in the courts.

2. Has the woman officially filed for divorce? If yes, was she denied the divorce for some reason? I am trying to understand why it should matter whether his family accepts the returned bride price or not.

BRATISLAVA:
➜Well, did your parents take you there?
➜And if they didn't, why?

1. Are you implying that I am somehow meant to repeat the mistakes my own parents made, or something?

2. My parents were not the best, and they are aware of that at this point. They recognize that they made numerous mistakes in many of their decisions. Why should I parent my own children the same way my parents did, knowing they now regret not doing better for us when they could?

BRATISLAVA:
➜Parent is not age mate friend.

Where is it written that only agemate friends can introduce one to the club or alcohol though?

adex4real90:
Hello Nairaland people, please i need your advise, my girfriend has a app lock to all our phone application (including phone setting) and she is not always convenient and okay anytime i pick up her phone. She only disclose the password to unlock the phone and every other apps is locked with a different password not known to me. I'm a type of person that cherish transparency in relationship alot. The action is hitting me up and I'm worried and started to distrust her. What should I do?

Communicate your issues and concerns with her while realizing that your insecurities are yours and not hers. You are a boyfriend and not a husband to her; there is no obligation that she let you pick up her phone or even have access to anything on it. 😏😏

BRATISLAVA:
Your child is your child, not your friend. Taking them to the club isn't your duty.

Duty? Whose duty is it then? Strangers?

MsJackson:
✓ What could make a man's family reject return of bride after their son ended the marriage? Even the ex husband asked for it to be returned but his father said he will never collect it and even refused after repeated attempts by the bride's family to return it?

No need returning bride price to a man who turned out to be a deadbeat husband and/or father to his own children.

Anyways, I don't see the point in the bride's family worrying themselves much in this day and age of such things. So, long as the marriage of was never registered in the courts, the two might as well have been living as baby-mama & baby-daddy all the while. If the man's family no wan collect back their bride price, it shouldn't stop her from moving on to legally marrying someone else out there. 🥱🥱🥱

Zidoh:
Hmmm 🤔 it’s well o
I don’t even know what to call this o

It is actually a form of responsible parenting.

iamoyindamola:
She isn't gen z, she's just stupid by default
Tomorrow if something happens she will come online again

What is ridiculous about a parent taking her 17 year old to the club rather than waiting for boys to do it for her instead?

Bigchris01:
I keep seeing it daily that there are some people who aren’t fit to be a parents because they don’t have morals, you Brag about taking your daughter to a club? Na wa oo

Nonsense!🥱🥱😄

Your ancestors organize and introduce their younger sons -- some as young as age 13-- to alcohol and even sex via prostitutes back in the day? Where they model parents by that?

Anyways, this woman introduced her already adult daughter-- age of consent and likely drinking in Nigeria is 16 -- to clubbing and the drinking of alcohol. What is so bad about that?

swift123:
DISGRACEFUL MADAM

Nonsense retort!

AfDapone:
As her own body no longer fit cash out like before, she is now using what she has to get want. Her family her problem.

Nonsense! 🥱🥱

lagostrendboy:
https://eyesoflagos.com/im-the-first-person-to-bring-my-daughter-to-a-club-actress-laide-bakare-stirs-controversy/

Oh, a 17-year-old? I would do same except for the alcohol part. I prefer they wait until after 21 years of age. 🥱🥱🥱

CryptoJagaban:
I don't think the couples really expect the partner with ex's to be faithful.

So, na only people who no get exes dey dey faithful?

Dickson178:
How will you know if a lady has low body count this man

I am sorry, what? Is it your reasoning that only these low-body-count women sleep with other men right before their weddings?

Pupanchie:
If we keep telling them not to marry single mothers they won't hear, see what I came across today again

Stop with te stewpid rage baits! Try to get yourself a life this winter!