₦airaland Forum

TheRedpillguy:
➜ Most men have no idea what value they actually bring that’s why they crash the moment a woman cheats. Instead of leveling up and going for younger, more beautiful women, they drown in emotions. The truth is, it’s always about wealthy men. Women don’t care what regular men think or do. a broke man could catch fire and burn, and not a single woman would piss on him to save him.
➜ The game has never been about love or fairness it’s about the redistribution of resources. Women are wired to look out for what benefits them, it’s not even there fault. Nature designed it that way survival first, emotions second.
➜ That’s why when I speak, I’m always referring to the top 5% of men , men with options. If a man sits in that category, then yes, he can walk away or crash out when his woman cheats, because every woman he chooses should understand the exchange , his protection, his status, his resources, and in return, loyalty and his offspring. If any woman can’t get with that program, she’s replaceable.
➜ As for me , I’m above average. I’ve built something real. I’m a millionaire, focused on running my business and maintaining my health. I’m not delusional enough to believe a woman will love me for who I am. I know what the world runs on , power, value, and results. And even though millions in Naira may not be global wealth, it’s a start. The point is, I’m growing , n I’m not stopping.

1. It is so very convenient of you to conclude that because these men's behaviors are not tailored to your particular delusion, therefore, they are the problem in expressing what are simple human emotions. 🥱🥱🥱

Again, I am not interested in the details of your particular delusions but in understanding what exactly you hope to gain by offering these contradictory ideas in this situation. 🥱🥱🥱

2. Nature instead has it that all human beings — men, women, and animals — seek that which benefits them. The concept of survival of the fittest suggests that each member of each species seeks out benefits to help them live and thrive, sometimes at the expense of others. So, why in the world are you continually trying to project your delusions above common sense? 🥱🥱🥱

3. You are just a typical Nigerian from all you have spewed so far. 🥱🥱🥱

Ruke1991:
➜I like your statement of facts. I don't like fat or overweight male or female especially when it appears to tend towards obesity. It goes with many health challenges from what I have seen
Contraceptives contribute to most African women excessive fatness after marriage. But many are unaware of the plenty negative issues that goes along with contraceptives. Also, unhealthy diets play a role and lack of exercises.
➜Personally, I made my wife understand the issues with obesity / fat. The risk factors to avoid as well. I also didn't bother to go near fat girls or anyone I thought to have such recessive genes

. There is no direct link between the use of contraceptives and weight gain. The myth that such exists has been around from the beginning, yet not a single study has provided proof or backing to such claims. It is 2025; let's stop spreading misinformation.

2. Also, fat does not happen to women alone. There are so many overweight men out there who are delusionally convinced that their thickness makes them more manly when all it is is kgs of fat that they carry around with them, a ticking time bomb in many cases, given the high risk of heart issues among black/African men.

TheRedpillguy:
➜ Truth is if Women could give that excuse, they will so kick the Man out of the house, but you see , women value commitment and that is a little difficult when you are getting old with children as a Woman, but Men don't care about commitment they just want to have sex with young ladies with standing breast and good skin. Women cheat when they get the opportunity, Everytime.
➜ Now as a man not just any man,a wealthy Man. A woman will prefer to stay with him even if he cheats and yes it's his world if he chooses discipline to be faithful because they have been a lot together then so be it, but if she is just some girl who married a rich man then if the man chooses can have younger version of her as much as he can. Sorry I don't make the rules.

1. Men don't care about commitment, yet these same men have near-zero tolerance for women cheating on them, not committing to them? There are literally thousands of videos of men crashing out after discovering their girlfriend/sidechick — not even wife—had been cheating on them. Yet you are here trying to fiddle us with tales of men not wanting commitment from women? And there are numerous crime stories online of men who murdered their wives for cheating on them. 😏😏

Do you know you are literally talking out of both sides of your mouth at this point in the discussion? And I wonder to what end. 🥱🥱

2. We are not here discussing wealthy men, which I am sure you are not and have never been one of. We are on an issue that concerns the general populace, so let's stop with the ridiculous attempts to deviate from the facts. 🥱🥱🥱

TheRedpillguy:
➜That absolutely makes no sense. Could have said the wife at home got a little older, giving birth and having sex for a long time makes it too Familiar.
➜ So the man is just looking for some excitement and Validation from her now younger side chick.

Did you by any chance detest/hate your mother for getting older, giving birth, or even having sex with your father for a long time, or on grounds of too much familiarity while you were growing up with her? Did you, at some point, start to hate your friends/roommate for any of the same reasons? What makes you think that watching someone you love grow older or becoming familiar with such a one makes you begin hating or not liking them much? 🥱🥱

2. Looking for excitement and validation by abusing his wife, whom he supposedly loves? Hahaha!! (Cheating is a form of abuse where a partner denies the right to consent to the other partner while literally putting them in harm's way— emotional harm and STDS come to mind.) And in many cases, follows the abuse up with gaslighting to make the woman believe she is the reason why he chose to abuse, and she ought to bear shame for his cheating on her. What part of all of that screams, "I love you?"🥱🥱

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The telling part of all of this is that if a woman were to offer up the same reasons to explain her cheating on her husband, you would not hesitate to have her kicked out of that house. Yet you want women to believe the same bullsheet reasoning that men would not even accept or entertain? Isn't that the most absurd delulu nonsense ever? 🥱🥱🥱🥱

lailo:
➜Koboko abi wetin be your name gan men dont marry with the intention to bring the woman to surfer or punish her. They marry her bcs they love her and ab initio have good plans for her. Where problem starts is when she begins to disrespect him and look down on his effort to care for her. Women often do these when their expectations in the marriage are not met.
➜ And men too are humans, they can react. Let women treat their husbands as they want to be treated and u will see most of the problems in the marriage will vanish.

We are talking facts, not private delusions here.

Men who marry women only to financially, physically, mentally, or emotionally abuse them have no love but detest for such women. Men who cheat on their wives — a form of abuse because the woman is denied the right to consent to an act that could lead to her physical and emotional harm— do not do so out of love but hate. Yes, humans only abuse that which they detest/hate. And men who do these things do not love but hate their wives. (Here, I use the words hate/detest as the opposite of love, or in a milder tone, indifference.)

2. If a woman first needs to treat a man a certain way before the man can be expected to show her love, then that man is abusive since he manipulates her by providing her love only when she does as he wants. That is not love but hate(or, in milder language, a form of indifference to the emotions and well-being of that individual) as well. If you don't love a woman, leave her and go find yourself a woman you can love without all the abuse and manipulation tactics.

Fekumzi123:
➜Okay... So, someone cannot run for his or her life again?

Separation is not abandonment. When a spouse separates from another spouse in hopes of bringing to an end the union through official means, it is not abandonment. However, when a spouse literally ghosts his other partner and children without even officially ending the relationship, it is abandonment and a criminal offense.

zoer:
✓ Since u like statistics show me the statistic where you got "10s of thousands of other Nigeria women out there who played the same roles only to end up regretting it and some ended up dead"
U go just open mouth the talk .....na only u know everything

According to reports, almost 50% of married women. Are breadwinners in their marriages in Nigeria -- we are talking of millions of women literally paying the bills in their marriages while husband's don't even do the bare minimum expected. Hope this helps your brain wrap itself around the information presentation in my previous comment.

EvilMerodack:
. He don turn woman, why you still dey call am man
No be you dey always preach 'live and let live'?
Wetin change?

I am not aware that he don turn woman.🥱🥱

I see we have still not caught on to the fact that the major reason for fatness in Africa is stress---high cortisol levels---, and women tend to deal with a whole load of this both from society and in marriage.

EvilMerodack:
✓ But the baddie set o. Is it impossible for a lady to be a baddie and still be responsible? Cant you be freaky and kinky for your your husband?
✓ Why be say those baddies dey always dey super shinny pass those loyal women?
Life sef! Women sef!

It is possible only for men who have the money to buy their loyalty and responsibility. And there are not many such men. That is why the closest most men can get to them is to engage them as semi+sidechicks(only when money dey). 🥱🥱🥱

2. Keeping her super shiny glossy rims costs money which most men looking for wife material can't afford. That is why their wives cannot look like the baddies. 🥱🥱🥱

MrGerald:
✓ You're using a social decadence to equate, promote and support social immorality, isn't it?

Promote and support? The way many of you dey like to dey process unsavory truths you like to pretend are not out there ehn... Whoever did this to you do you bad thing.

gtassure:
✓ The problem here is, you don't have the data, you don't have the fact neither the record of it! Tell me one single poll emanating from Nigeria people to substantiate your claim!
By the way, your opinions on matters relating to Nigerian people are full of falsehood!

. Um...I am not the one who made the claim that 80% of divorced women date married men in Nigeria without evidence of data to back up such a claim. So, how could you confuse me of falsehood? Are you certain you are OK up there? 🥱🥱🥱

SpencerForbes:
✓ Financial independence vs. partnership expectations - women handling their own bills in serious relationships. Is it a matter of choice, necessity, or societal pressure? What do you think?

He has a point. And I am impressed that even a man who now lives as a woman, he has at least figured this much out by herself. 🥱🥱

They say time na money. Yet,the average Nigerian woman in marriage invest much of her time an efforts in to marriage only to relieve not even a pittance in return. Near no married Nigerian women gets anything remotely close to real world value of all the services she provides in her marriage each year. So for such a woman to have to then turn around and lay her own bills while in the same marriage mean say na struggle culture she just dey live.

xtianchris:
Lemme add to your Write up.
Men be extra Extremely careful

No point for men to engage women at all. These days a man can pretty much work to pay for and raise his own family without a woman in the picture. That should be encouraged.

A man can, in this day and age pay for a surrogate, a nanny, cleaner, tutor, housekeeper, sex provider, cook, mental counselor, personal assistant, laundry service, etc,. All he needs do is work on himself and pay for the peace of mind he needs without a woman needing to be in the picture. So why not encoi that instead? 🥱🥱🥱

Fekumzi123:
After marriage, I realized if a woman tells you her husband abandon her and the children, don't be too quick to judge the man. Wait until you hear his own side of the story.

Abandonment is a criminal offense even in Nigeria. A man who abandons his side and children is by definition a deadbeat and offender. Same as a woman who abandons her child and husband..🥱🥱🥱

lagostrendboy:
https://eyesoflagos.com/lady-shares-shocking-messages-from-ex-husband-after-leaving-marriage/

Women need to stop dating and marrying their bullies/enemies. 🥱🥱🥱

DMCA:
e pain this one

Huh? Who in the world did this to your brains, abeg?

DMCA:
✓ no be ur fellow women do the analysis?

Fellow women wey no get name? Even the reports from your own Government sufficiently counter the claim, so how can such a claim be considered of substance without even names or data to back up the claim?

gtassure:
✓ If you live in Nigeria, may be you will have better understanding! One person can be wrong, but 5 to 10 people can not be wrong at the same time! What posters are saying are fact in Nogerian society!

Living in Nigeria does not give one superior knowledge of life and happening in Nigeria. Rather, consuming educated knowledge of happenings in Nigeria does. Even if 200 million Nigerian claim that a thing is so, it would not be enough to counter educated facts collected and collated from polls independently researching all those same Nigerians. 200 million Nigerians claiming a thing to be a certain way would not be enough to counter all that has been previously realized of human behavior to this point in time.

GUNITGuy:
➜Men tend to fall for an easier prey for them who it's easier..Find out most handsome celebrities married average looking women ....Some men believe the drama of very beautiful women are just beyond them except she's willing to dance to their times ...that's another study for another day ..
Major reason why beautiful women or women or drive cars tend to be single it's because most men are not bold enough to approach them or think they too could be easy to deal with ...It's common with high cooperate women ....
➜In conclusion most men would marry a woman he could easily deal with or even sleep with a woman easier for him than a difficult one ...
That's why after a divorce their previous wive could be even more prettier than the new one ...He found the one easier to control not necessarily beauty ....this is fact The

1. Falling for an easier prey does not mean the easier prey is, in fact, the desired one. If a man goes out to catch a bass but ends up only catching a tilapia or something else, that doesn't mean his desire has been fulfilled, does it?

Also, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, what I term beautiful may not be what the next person considers beautiful.

2. I don't buy into these assertions of yours at all.

GUNITGuy:
2: The men at are level or above as they've always want at this point are married or single ones would have the same attention of many ladies around him it's a no-brainer that's always the situation ...
A made man is a price for most ladies whether rich or poor, Single, divorcee or even at times married women ..
The choice of options narrows for most women as they gets older while for most Rich or successful men it widens as they gets older too whether they're married or not ...
On campus the cute guys gets all the girls in my days if he now has a car common he's top notch...Despite they are other guys available but all of them wants the same man to prove a point to their friends and get them jealous ...
Suddenly they gets into the real society some of the guys they turned down are now looking cute and doing well for themselves all of a sudden they begin to desire such men again while those guys have more prettier younger ladies as options ...
Then the cycle of Dating married men continues ...
Many ladies now would wish they took most guys seriously when they were young and free ..
The streets have taught them lesson ...

You keep forgetting that we are speaking of Nigeria, where over 140 million Nigerians do not earn anywhere close to Naira 70,000 a month; They live below the poverty line.

GUNITGuy:
➜Men don't approach women the same way women do .. infact men don't know exactly what kind of woman they want until one who entices them or gives them a new thrill comes around particularly philandering males....it could be any woman of any class, tribe, size, shape, race, or even complexion it's about the thrill it doesn't necessarily mean she's the woman of his dream it gets better if he knows she would be willing...
➜Most women have a usual prototype of a man and any who doesn't fit in she's not 'in' emotionally but could be there physically

I used to think that way until I really did some digging and found out instead that most men have a type of women they desire the most, even if they are open to having any woman out there to meet their more immediate needs. That is similar to the way women also reason the issue of dating, except that women are more vocal about their preferences.

2. I believe, and this is from reading up many studies and polls, that the same applies to men, only that, since they realize, either from experience or their peers, that they are likely not to end up with their type, so they don't focus much on that.

Take a look, for instance, at some of the women that particular celebrity males have dated over the years, and you immediately realize there is a pattern to their choices and behaviors. They are humans after all.

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Also, regarding the claim that 80% of divorced women date married men, don't you see that that implies that a significant portion of married men have divorced women as sidechicks ? If the latter part of that statement does not make sense to you, then how can the first part make any sense? 🥱🥱🥱

GUNITGuy:
➜ She's trying to deflate an obvious pattern we've seen over and over again.....From university campuses till Cooperate office till even Market place and even Religious sites this is a pattern noticeable

. No mind dem! Most Nigerians love to put on blinders as they believe that by doing so, the problems automagically go away and everything suddenly begins to work according to their particular delusion.

GUNITGuy:
➜ You making some valid observation notorious in a typical family setting particularly in Nigeria....
"Married men" I have heard from ladies prefer them than single in Nigeria... A mother of a working class lady complain to me to talk to her daughter concerning Married men she barely got approach by Single but it's not true most single men aren't are taste and she complained of the the one whose salary was 70k as at 2021 but should be better by now she was 32 then....
➜Married man is a sign you are up to the task it's alone to entice most single women, divorcee, especially Single mother's this is not always the case but it's usually the norm in 80 percent of cases in Nigeria .....

1. Given what has happened to the Nigerian economy since 2021, I seriously doubt that those same single men who were not up to her level then are anywhere closer to it at this point.

2. I don't believe the draw is that married men are perceived as being up to the task; a formerly married woman probably sees all married men as no different from her ex in terms of what to expect. Except that she knows such men are all too willing to pay up when in relationships with women who are not their wives. After all, these married men are out there looking for women who are their preferred type. (Their wives at home are merely women they had to settle for to build a family, mine free labor from, and not much else.) The moment a married man finds the woman of his type outside of his marriage, he is willing to pay up to keep the woman of his dreams around him, regardless of whether she was formerly married or not. This demand exists, hence the reason why there are enough women out there willing to put up with them.

Chilipepper:
➜I bought him his first duvet" – Woman shares her family's success story after dating her man from a humble beginning.

Storyland! 🙄🙄🙄

Contrast that with the stories of 10s of thousands of other Nigerian women out there who played the same card only to end up regretting it, some even losing their lives at the hands of the same men they supposedly had humble beginnings with, and you begin to realize the meaninglessness of these stories people like to tell. 🥱🥱🥱

TheRedpillguy:
Let's go with that Logic for the Man too, why keep a wife when you can have freedom and side chicks

For many men, the wife is the woman they settled for— to mine free labor and other benefits of having a wife at home from— whereas the sidechick is the woman that is more their type but either cannot afford or cannot fully measure up.

JuanDeDios:
➜Bolded is NOT true.

You are telling me that there are sidechicks out there who would accept being treated worse than the wife? Please explain!

Amarachieze:
➜Not actually trying to impress you but to answer your questions?
➜ Any reaction to harm or perceived harm that aims to safeguard oneself from further harm cannot in any sense or logic be refered to as retaliation but a precaution

1. Logic has little to do with impressing, but sticking to that which is acceptable beyond the ruminations in one's mind.

2. You keep trying to redefine it, but the fact is retaliation comes in different forms, as you stated, and even divorce can be used to that end.

komek:
This Fidelia is heartless. You dont want the man and you put out his face to the internet so that others wouldn't go for him abi? E go shock you

The man already has her best friend, what more does he need?

Amarachieze:
➜I earlier admitted a harm was done but I have insisted that relatively it is no harm because the person who was injured believe that what had happened saves her from greater harm hence calling off the marriage.
➜Definition of retaliation is not subject to individual perceptions or interpretations. It a payback in kind and not all forms of reactions to harm. Going by your definition of retaliation it means that by calling off the wedding she has retaliated. But her reaction is not a payback or retaliation against the fiance but a safety measure to secure her personal happiness.

1. Your conclusion makes no logical sense, though!

2.

Amarachieze:
➜ Retaliation is more than just any negative response to harm done but rather a payback in kind or exact form. Avoiding someone that hurts you or severing relationships with unfriendly friends cannot be refered to as retaliation. Even divorcing a cheating is no retaliation but cheating on her as a payback is retaliation

Amarachieze:
➜ Your response is very interesting but the answer to to the issue at hand is neither here or there. Why? Because every coin has 2 faces A harm that prevents a greater harm is relatively no harm. In fact is a good omen
➜ Retaliation is more than just any negative response to harm done but rather a payback in kind or exact form. Avoiding someone that hurts you or severing relationships with unfriendly friends cannot be refered to as retaliation.
➜Even divorcing a cheating is no retaliation but cheating on her as a payback is retaliation

1. But this statement of yours is the reason why I keep pointing out the fact that this incident isn't just a red flag, but rather a harm that is also a red flag. Additionally, we can't state for a fact that this harm prevented a greater harm (for all we know, this man and woman may have died right on the way back from their wedding, something completely beyond both their individual control), and it is for this reason that we refer to it as a red flag, rather than as well.

2. Any negative action that is a response to an equally negative action is considered a form of retaliation— a payback in kind for form. Cutting off someone who hurts you in a way that renders them unable to receive the same benefits they previously enjoyed from you, in response to a betrayal, is a form of retaliation. Cutting off business connections to someone with whom you were formerly in business in response to a betrayal is a form of retaliation.

3. Divorce is not a form of retaliation? Let me guess, you think all those Nigerian men crying all over the internet because their wives out of nowhere— as if —filed for divorce against them, don't think it as a form of retaliation against them and their mostly dumb egos? You should probably talk to people who have been hurt by divorce about this before commenting any further. 🥱🥱🥱

louken:
➜So her purpose of resigning from wifehood is not particularly because she detests philandering but because she wants to take from the juicier end.
➜ She would rather be a side chick than be the wife of a man that has a side chick. Interesting.

1. That is a silly conclusion to reach from my comment there, don't you think? 🙄🙄

The question it was in response to is why some divorced women end up side chicks, making clear that this only applies to women after they have been divorced, not before. So, it could not then be reasonably suggested that said women left their marriages solely with the intention of becoming sidechicks. They each had valid reasons for needing to resign from their marriages, reasons that may not have anything to do with their later decisions to become sidechicks afterwards. 🥱🥱🥱

2. A woman whose ex-husband was a douchebag with sidechicks whom he treated better than she ever was—leaving her possibly financially, physically, and emotionally abused in the end with nothing to show for all of her years of diligence as a wife —, can, in fact, consider being a sidechick than a wife in her other relationship. 🥱🥱