₦airaland Forum

XXCASH:
➜Marriage is about endurance, patience, understanding etc.
➜ If you dont have these then you shouldn't marry.
➜Reason most young couples can stay in marriage.
➜ Are yoy married

1. I knew it! You are literally one of those who believes marriage is all about endurance, the very reason for many people, particularly women, choosing to live in unhappy/toxic situations as opposed to living freely without those self-imposed shackles.

2. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but endurance is not a formula for a happy marriage, the same way it cannot be a formula for a happy parent-child relationship or anything fulfilling in life. Endurance only works when one has chosen to suffer through a situation that has a set expiration date. One could, for example, endure a bad job to raise a certain amount of money, after which one dumps that job completely. One can endure living in a shanty until one is later able to afford better, after which one completely abandons the shanty for that which is better and more reasonable. People endure hard times, believing they are temporary and not for life. Any situation that is expected to end in death is not worth enduring.

Another faulty belief many have out there is that sacrifice is the formula for happiness, either in life or in marriage.

That you used those tools to manipulate your way into having your relationship last as long as it has does not make it the formula for marriage. Rather, both remain tools of deceit that it has always been.

3. Wrong! The reason why most young couples don't stay in marriage is that they start off believing the fable that endurance and sacrifice are indeed all that is needed. However, as they gain more exposure in this information age we all now live in, they quickly realize that that old formula is akin to taking poison while expecting it to kill someone else. There is no valid reason to choose an unfulfilled life and existence in an unhappy/toxic relationship, all to see a marriage last many, many years. It does not make any logical sense, no matter how you try to configure it.

4. I suggest you go out and read the thousands of reports from research done on 10s of millions of marriages out there that claim different formulae for survival to learn a lot more of the facts from the delusions you spew.

Adonisty:
Nigeria currently has one of the lowest life expectancies in the world, with an average of around 53.6 to 54.6 years, according to recent reports. Factors contributing to this low life expectancy include poverty, lack of access to healthcare, widespread infectious diseases like malaria and HIV/AIDS, and regional political instability.

Yet, people continue to born pikin like pigs with all of that.

maberry:
Nigerian women typically marry for security... period!!!

This assumption is wrong in the Nigerian sense, given that almost 50% of married women in Nigeria are the breadwinners in their marriages. So, as far as financial security, that cannot be the case. When it comes to protection from crime, that is also not the case, as most Nigerian women(and their children) are at a higher risk of being criminally abused by their husbands/boyfriends than by strangers.

Smartguyboy:
➜Not only Nigeria women It’s a world wide problem

He is wrong! And no, women worldwide do not typically marry for security, either in the literal sense or otherwise.

bobolaga:
➜You are real men, you know how to make your choice, some men do not know that, women are like flowers that some time fade away, but the natural beauty never fade even if she give birth to 10 children.

See nonsense African reasoning in 2025! 😏

If the woman was naturally beautiful, and pregnancy did not steal it from her— not saying pregnancy did not inflict any damage to her body in such a case— how can the man be to take glory for any of that? 🥱🥱🥱

bixton:
➜Nope, not everyone has to go for botched bodys'. There are women who not good looking physically but when they marry the right husband who takes care and loves them, you'll be amazed at how her physical looks will change for the best. I have seen such.

I can't believe some folks would rather trade sanity for delusions. Where did you see these inhuman beings?

Fryx:
➜She is not broken. She was brought up with love and has loving parents and siblings.
➜ She isn’t scared of me. I made sure she isn’t scared of me. We play a lot. A lot, beyond your imagination.
➜ And I encourage her to speak her mind.
➜ If my relationship is built on whatever I suspect to be false, I won’t consider it a relationship. I will not take it seriously.

1. Brought up with love as interpreted by you or by her own emotional conditioning? 😏😏

2. I said nothing of her being scared of you.😏😏

3. A lot of people claim to speak their minds but are not even emotionally self-aware, nor have self-love. 😏😏

By the way, mentally healthy loners who are mentally know not to commit to relationships with others; how can someone not even aware of the meaning behind what he claims believe himself capable of assessing others?

4. Storyland! If it were that easy, the official divorce rate in southern Nigeria would today rival that of Northern Nigeria. Sadly, most Nigerians — men and women alike — would rather sit tight in unhealthy relationships than take their chances elsewhere. That fear and anxiety of loneliness is real for the majority.

Fryx:
➜Well, she knows who I am. She understands what’s at stake.

Understanding is not what she has. Rather, acceptance imposed on her by her fears and anxieties is what she holds on to. Any woman who has self-love and self-awareness would never do that to herself. A broken woman, however, would accept even the worst and also go as far as to proclaim that it is what she needs or deserves. Look around at all the religious women around you to see this for yourself.

Fryx:
➜Well, she knows who I am. She understands what’s at stake.

Desperation, fear, and anxiety about the unknown are the only reasons why such women do this to themselves. The Nigerian society is to thank for all of that mental anguish that many Nigerian women walk around with. Remove those mental problems, and they will have the dignity to walk away from that which obviously demeans their very existence.

Fryx:
➜In my opinion. It’s better for a woman to be in love with a man than for the man to be more invested. When it comes to relationships, women have more advantage.
I am not much of a feeler. But once I see a woman is very much into me. First, I stress her to see how she can endure. If I am satisfied, I will try my best to make her happy. I may not have deep feelings, but I will show much care, knowing fully well her love towards me is what is keeping the relationship. I am a loner by default.

Yes, you stress her because you are fully aware that no matter what, endurance is what she would need to remain by your side. Awon, "my wife is an endurance wife" men. 🙄🙄🙄

Tohsynetita1:
➜Imagine you need something to eat because you are really hungry, if you don’t eat anything soon , you might die, what would you do when your favorite food isn’t coming?

This analogy fails, given that a woman can survive without a man in her life. There is no sensible explanation for why a woman should want to marry a man who does not fit with her standards, except that she is driven by irrational fears and anxieties courtesy of society.

The same goes for men who settle in marriage for women who are not their type, simply because they are not able to get the women they really want.

GenFunction:
Presently they marry who is ready. Then learn to love him along the line i.e if the nigga na more of provider than lover.

Contrary to the fables fed you by your ancestors and elders, love cannot be manufactured if it was never there, to begin with. What you mean is instead that she learns to endure... something that is more common and confused by many as love in Nigerian society, something OP pointed out.(Endurance is not and can never replace love.)

SultanOfPuna:
Hmmmmmmmmmmm. She told me I was too stubborn. And I out smarted her when she wants to manipulate me. It all make sense. She was looking for a Simp to settle down with

. Clearly, you are not the type she is looking for, so why is she to blame for choosing to leave?

Hespee93:
➜Once a girl noticed that you’re smart and intelligent, she will see you as a red flag especially those forming feminism. They need a man that can’t say no to their demands.

Stop deceiving yourself!

The reason the girl said no to you is likely because she does not see you as smart and intelligent as you think yourself to be. Learn to become more self-aware and emotionally intelligent so you do not end up needing to settle! 🙄🙄🙄

Hemanwel:
➜My own point is that, you will hardly see a marriage in which there is a mutual feeling. It's either the man loves the woman and the woman doesn't love him or vice versa.

This here is Nigeria, as far as most Nigerian marriages; as a matter of fact, I have never met any married Nigerian couple who share mutual feelings.

Adakintroy:
➜Women don't call for marriage so they can't marry who they love..if they do it's rare. Greater percentage of women don't get to marry their first choice..it's not in their hands most time.

Is the first choice usually the best choice, or just a result of an infatuation? If a woman does not end up with her first choice, doesn't that invariably mean the first choice did not necessarily love her?

Sirhush:
➜Alot of them want to eat what dey don't work for so once dey come across a guy that guide small la san, na to born for him go dey there mind

If a woman needs to settle for you, then you at least need to have something for her in the way of a benefit. These men who marry these women are not forced into these unions, as many of them also settle for these women out of pressure as well.

AKWATGOLD1:
[color=#000099]➜You acted like a prodigal son and also believed in God that anything you lay your hand in Nigeria will be successful. You shall be great in Life [/size]

. You should also not forget to inform him of the many other prodigal sons who returned and are to this day roaming the streets of Nigeria, homeless and destitute.

XXCASH:
➜I'm going 20yrs in marriage and 50 yrs next year. Many people dont understand and still wont be able to understand what marriage is about. I also didnt too. Marriage should be seen as strategic partnership and not lust that most people confuse for love. Marry for the right reasons and you are good
Finally, men also need to understand and accommodate a couple of concerns from women. The society has made them feel naturally inferior (though DEI is trying to change things) . We need to support them. There's just alot to put together for a topic like this

. Sounds like you have been in one of the endurance marriages described by the OP.

CorperKola:
➜The reason nigerian men cheat is the history of polygamy in Nigeria and Africa not that your useless reason...

This is obviously irrational bullsheet given that Nigeria is not the only country in the world with a history of polygamy. To add to that, the Northern states do not boast of the same levels of adultery as is found amongst those in Southern Nigeria, where the culture of adultery has become commonplace in marriage. 😏😏😏

Can we please start critically analyzing the reality of things beginning in 2025? 🥱🥱🥱

buJu234:
➜Nigerian women dont marry for love oo its for money. thats why immediately they have money, they will tell you they dont need men or husband again

How many Nigerian men marry for love — men who don't believe adultery is their benefit for having a dick in life? Why fault women for at least ensuring their is some benefit to be hard in marriage with Nigerian men?

adamkkk:
Why do some men see women as Commodities. How can u gamble or predict a woman's turn up ?

Many boys are raised into men who are convinced in their own minds that women are toys they are born with the ability to manipulate and use as they see fit.

judewrites:
➜Women are like flowers 🌷....they have the need to be protected, cherished and nurtured. That's why they often go for the 'highest bidders' even though they may not really love such. It still beats me why some women settle for a man with looks of a gorilla 🦍 just because he's rich. Not all woman though.

The vast majority of crimes committed against women are carried out by the men in their lives — husbands/boyfriends, past fliings, fathers, etc. If a woman wants protection, the last thing she needs is a man in her life.

cutecommend:
Marry who God wants and who loves you ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

Marrying someone who loves you and you don't necessarily love the same is the same thing as settling. Nigerian men do this a lot, as this explains why the vast majority of Nigerian men now conceive adultery as their birthright. Stop marrying women you clearly don't consider your type. Level up, so your type can want and desire you, too.

Softmirror:
It's simply because women are realist who think deeper beyond superfacialities, unlike men.

There is nothing realistic about that behavior, which is typically fueled by societal and peer pressure to get married.

By the way, it is pretty obvious that the same applies to Nigerian men, as the high rates of adultery in marriage among Nigerian men speak volumes of the same situation being common among men.

Dpsychologist:
➜This raises tough questions: Is marriage in today’s world really about love, or just about timing and convenience?
➜ Can attraction and passion be “manufactured” after marriage?
➜ Is society’s pressure forcing too many people into unions built on endurance rather than happiness?
➜ And for men: are you sure the woman you married actually desired you — or just settled because you were available?

1. It is no secret that Nigerian women typically date and go on to marry men they do not love, mainly because of societal conditioning.

2. Passion and attraction are rarely manufactured after marriage. That is why, right after the supposed honeymoon phase, regret usually sets in for the women involved.

3. The simple answer is yes!

4. Most men settle for the women they find available in marriage, too. This explains the high levels of cheating amongst Nigerian married men. The woman they have at home is the one they settled for, while the sidechicks are the women they long to or cannot really have all to themselves.

5. 🥱🥱🥱

TouchNfollow:
Men without beards, what will your babe play with??

Are women cats to you that you feel they need these beards to play with? 🥱🥱🥱

Passionate888:
Which kind talk be this? When her look was bad, na seasonal something?

OMGosh! You caught the nonsense right there in that phrase! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

iwaeda:
JUST IN: Fifth Female Local Government Official Dies in Lagos Within Two Months

Which kain story be this? How can 5 LG officials die in just 2 months? What is going on, and I hope no one is about to come here spouting superstitious bullsheet in some attempt to cover this supposed abnormality. 🥱🥱🥱

Dannydrums889:
➜Would you choose your dad to be your dad in your next life? Would you? Be honest. Well,I will still choose him as my dad in my next life.

Never again!

Sonnobax15:
. At least,his peace of mind was restored, Kobo . And that's what matters to every man on earth,and not beauty that will someday fade away..

The crippled woman deserves none of that, too, I see! Since he has dashed her a Mrs badge, she should live gratefully as the woman he settled for because the beautiful ones he wants don't want him, abi?

favour32:
➜Such story is very common. A woman can be very good today but in 20 years or 30 years later you will start wondering if she was the one you married. They charge decades later to become very bad. A man is stable emotionally over a very long time but a woman. Take the advice of one of the greatest psychoanalysts in the world,Sigmund Freud. He said,in all his career,he never knew what a woman wanted. Investing in a wife is a very risky venture. A woman can change offensively when money start rolling in.
Your story is very correct.

You mean a common stewpid story, you mean? How can a woman and wife change the corporate documents of her business and accounts of a company co-owned with her husband without the consent of the partners in the business?