₦airaland Forum

lendahand:
➜I love her a lot guy. She sef knows. I have intentions of taking the relationship further. My point is why stress me a lot. At this age, she should just allow me do trad and load her first, then we conclude the rest later.

If she wants a court marriage, it means you two are not heading in the right direction. She wants a different kind of marriage than what you want. Can't you see that the differences are already massive between the two of you?

Harddiskng:
➜What is this one saying. I had a university mate, that born and brought up in england. So utterly useless and lacked any motivation to succeed whatsoever. Till his father made the call that he was going back to Nigeria to attend University. You need to see what 4 years of attending private Christian in Nigeria did to this young man’s destiny.
➜ I assure you that he hated every moment of the 4 years, he experienced malaria, he knew firsthand the spiritual principality called “sapa” but years after he says it, it was the best decision his father ever made for him.

Here are a couple of simple questions for you to answer.

➜ Did all the other students who attended the same private Christian University in Nigeria also turn out just as good or even better than this boy, whose story you want us to swallow?
➜ Did everyone who had the same or similar experience as this boy back in that Nigerian University come out proclaiming that the experience was the best for them?

bigcasava1:
➜Nigeria women never marry for love they marry for security

Do Nigerian men marry for love, or are women merely NPCs for their manipulation and use?

goodmuscopi:
➜You don't like her. You like what she carries. Meanwhile, at 34, a lady should tell when she who want to just play from a real deal

No mind am! Make him free the woman o'jare! or else, months from now, he go come back come open thread complain of how the same lady na the root of all his problems. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

ufotunang:
➜..but why should a woman have the right to kick her husband out of the house in UK and abroad..
➜ the house the husband that is the owner of the house been kicked out by the wife and make him homeless ..
➜ does the UK law gives women such rights and power?
➜ ...why is the UK law not against that and protect men from being kick out by their wives and make them homeless

Where in the Law is it stated that a woman has the right to kick her husband out of the house in the UK and abroad?

2. Where in the Law is it stated that an owner can be kicked out of his home and made homeless by someone who does not own the house?

3. Neither the UK Law nor the laws in the U.S. have given women or anyone the right and power to do any of what you claim. So, I should be rightly asking you where you get these ideas that the Laws do what they do not state is possible.

4. Where in the UK Law is it stated that women have the right to kick men out of their own homes? You have yet to provide us with this detail, even as you continue to claim it a fact. How come?

goodmuscopi:
➜Let it slide or you two should just meet at eagle square do boxing

Huh? All because I don't share the same point of view as someone? No thanks!

lendahand:
➜imagine 34 year old lady I want to marry is insisting on court wedding, trad and white wedding before she will allow me have sex with her, can you imagine? Me I like her and she is a virgin but her conditions can't be met by me.

It's OK if a court wedding is a red flag for you. It is not her fault that it is, though, since your fears regarding court marriage are simply that, yours. 🤔

Free her immediately so she can find herself a man who respects what she brings to the table enough to legally tie the knot with her in the courts.

JuanDeDios:
➜Maybe try to understand things you read? Ok, I'll try again. I'm NOT talking about the sacrifices of raising kids.
➜ I'm talking about the sacrifices of marriage itself (which should have been clear to you since that's what we're talking about). Some people believe they need to be married to have kids, so they "endure" the "sacrifices" of marriage to reap that benefit (that is, kids).

1. Then what are we talking about?

2. What you just spewed there makes no sense to me. That endurance nonsense people claim they do is not of marriage, but a form of brain damage that has nothing to do with marriage. It is sort of like the same way folks "endure" bad bosses, bad parents, or bad landlords. Sadly, it is usually damaged people who think of these endurance exercises as some form of sacrifice.

efficiencie:
➜..we don't have to bicker...we can just chat...and disagree and be cool with it. You still haven't answered my question oh. Are you married?

The topic is nothing about me or my private life, and so, I see no reason why you should concern yourself with that.

efficiencie:
➜I refuse to waka pass you today...I must disturb you

. Look, I made my point already. Any emotional/private issue you have with what I said has nothing to do with me. I am not in the mood to bicker on such things.

Firstcitizen:
➜Oh is that the reason for making crude childish comments and asking unintelligent questions? To win? Omg! I would have educated you with more contextual facts of the case but it is pointless.

Oh! Gang problems in Ghana is outside of the context of this argument? I see! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

tonychristopher:
➜You guys argue a lot...what happened to P Diddy, R Kelly. Their offences were years ago

Try to educate yourself on how the law works so you don't go around making ridiculous statements such as these. Statute of limitations on crimes vary.

tonychristopher:
Japa...the greatest mistake married folks make

The simple reason is that submission-type marriage only works well in a system like the chaos you have in Nigeria. In saner climes, it breaks down quite easily.

efficiencie:
➜First you assumed I was comparing, I wasn't. I just wanted to know. your view . Two you said "your submissive marriage" and I didn't claim to have a submissive marriage in the question. Clearly you are the on that is incensed here. Rushing into unfounded assumptions and not really communicating. You are almost always antagonistic for no reason. You need to chill.

Abeg, waka pass me.... I no get time for all this whining today! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

emmyN:
➜My intention was to offer broad advice, not to refer to the couple.

Alright! Just wanted to point this out because a lot of people might pretend the woman owes her presence in the UK to the man.

efficiencie:
➜You don dey assume like mumu now. I talk sey your partnership marriage bad? Na simple question I ask you con dey assume anyhow.

Are you certain you are OK at all? I said a partnership marriage is nothing like a submission-type marriage. Why are you incensed by that?

emmyN:
➜If you are not absolutely sure of what the woman you're married to is capable of, it's not advisable to emigrate together with you being the dependent. Having kicked him out, she needs write just one email to the home office and he will be deported. This, regardless of whatever investment he put into their relocation!

They did not emigrate together. The man came in as a dependent after the woman had emigrated.

ufotunang:
➜..why don't the law in UK and abroad protect men from their wife maltreatment and
➜ rude behavior towards their husbands
➜ and making men homeless

The law equally protects men from physical and mental assaults in marriage.

2. Rudeness is not against the law.

3. Are the women to blame or the men? The Law decides in each case.

OlawaleBammie:
According to ... and saphiere, he offended the wife 27years ago...I knew about the story sef. Good for him

So, na lie lie levels you dey now? I no blame you... na internet wey dey allow you knuckleheads tell these ridiculous tales I go blame.

efficiencie:
➜Are you married? If yes, is this how you relate with your spouse?

Partnership marriage is nothing like your submission marriage.

Firstcitizen:
➜Lol, is it cheap data or the very the poor education system in Nigeria I should blame for this?

Sure, sure! It seems a tad convenient to completely ignore the fact that Ghana is also battling its own criminal gangs because you wish to magnify the gang problems in the UK, all in some weird bid to win this one, abi?

Firstcitizen:
➜Like seriously are you just commenting due to cheap data or plain clueless. Knife crime here is an epidemic with empirical data freely available to see with cheap data . Mention just one place where Ghana has the same problem with evidence. People just come online and leave their brains under the mat.

Oh wow.... life in Ghana is very safe, right? No gangsters, no terrorist groups, no cartels to be found in that country, abi? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

drehdinho:
➜Why would the pastor not allow her tell her own side of the story? Does that suggest the woman is guilty?

Control.... Pastors/Imams/Husbands.... competing for control over the Nigerian woman.

efficiencie:
➜Well many are now embracing singleness after their divorce. The days of remarriage is drawing to a close. More and more men and women who went into marriage thinking it was all bliss are now finding out that they should have remained single.

I disagree! Remarriage is probably going to become the new norm with so many divorced individuals out there. My hope is, rather, that many of the divorced now would seek healing for their emotional burdens before heading back onto the dating scene.

Firstcitizen:
➜Seems you have no clue about the case. He is placed in a boarding school far away from the nutrients that nuture his inclination to knife wielding culture here in the UK. Please get facts about a case before running to comment next time.

You are not serious at all. So, there are no knife-wielding cultures in Ghana where the boarding school is located? 😂😂😂😂😂

Firstcitizen:
➜Do not be too quick to judge. Follow the story. That boy in Ghana may have saved one of your distant relative's son in London from being stabbed to death in a few years time.

While we conveniently ignore all of the people in Ghana who have maybe fallen victim to child gangsters during that same time, abi?

KillahPriest:
➜even when they're forced to take such decisions after seeing signs of gang influence in their child ?
➜ Prevention is better than cure or being a future statistics in our culture

. Forced to abandon the child alone in a third-world country? Come on, now!

2. Which aspect of what they did is considered prevention?

AerialMapper:
➜The UK system empowers nonsense. A subservient woman while in Nigeria will travel with her husband to UK, mingle with other Nigerian women who will teach her nonsense and next thing she goes home realizing she has rights she never had in Nigeria. She can call the authorities and have the man leave the house even with false claims of abuse.
I know of a silly woman who a man brought to the UK. He has worked for years, paying his mortgage and all. She comes and has him thrown out and she takes possession of the house..just like that. Children are not left out. They are taught in school that you cannot be beaten so they develop sharp tongues.
➜ Parents book holidays to Nigeria just to give their kids correct beating from accumulated misbehaviour. Men...use your head when relocating!

IF we ask you for the case number on this particular story you dey tell now, you no go fit provide am make we do our own investigation, abi?

2. Which parents? Make una stop all of this ridiculous storytelling... e don too much!

AngelahFlo:
➜Yeah Yeah You see it takes repentant heart to merit forgiveness otherwise that person is just playing on your emotions.

Wetin concern merit with any of this? Forgiveness is entirely for the sake of my own mental health as I said.

Belurved1:
➜For him at that tender age hired a lawyer to challenge his parent's decision means the boy is well connected both home and abroad. At this junction the Parent have to beg him, he can't be stopped. Omo oran le bi o.

The boy is smart, not small ooo! Imagine, at the age of 14, he already knows his way around the courts and his rights... I don't understand at all. Having many more kids who are that smart is what I call meaningful empowerment.

nedekid:
➜Bros, sometimes when you see a child is going rouge due to his environment a change of environs may be necessary. I will give you two examples. My late kid sister (God bless her soul) back then in naija just after secondary school was going rouge, there was this boy trying to derail her, she will drive out to go meet him, he will hang around the street looking for her. Her studies was failing etc. Next thing we expected to hear was "belle" etc. Dad (bless his soul) flew her out to the UK, put her in school, omo, she made a 2.1, did her masters and went on to build a good career, before relocating to naija.
Another was when my boy got into the babcock secondary school, boarding. There was this naija British boy similar to the story in question, his family deceived him and sent him to naija, took him to the school and kept him there, infact there were other kids like him from all over the world. Story was that the boy had gone heywire in the Uk and would end up a nuisance to society. Ofcourse the parents could not discipline him over there in uk. Holidays when kids will go home the boy and others like him will remain in the school or stay with relatives.
Guess what, today that boy finished from the primary school, entered the university and in his final year studying engineering. A proper young man. He will return to the UK likely advance his studies, leaving behind socially all those his peers in the run down community he grew up in the UK.
Sometimes parents abroad have to take drastic decisions to streighten up their kids to make them proper people.

If a child needs to be relocated, then the entire family should have to for the sake of the child. Abandoning a child in a remote location in a third-world country, away from the rest of the family, is not an answer. If it were, it would not only be popularly recommended but also considered by the courts, something it isn't.

kangminhyuksho:
➜I have tried to respond 2 different times but nairaland keeps deleting it oh well me I don't know what to do again o

IT happens to be several times each day too. I simply keep trying to repost, making bits of changes here and there to my post, in hopes of appeasing the bots in the end.