₦airaland Forum

EmptyGarden:
✓Imagine the ones that have died believing this. People should learn to know God and hear from Him for themselves.

That there is a big point against these fraudsters/gods of men. Imagine all the lies this man has told over the years, and all those who believed them until their end, many even going to their death because of those lies. It is hard to fathom why there still exist those who, after all of those lies, still believe there is anything truthful about these scammers.

Chilipepper:
✓ We all face tough moments in life times when we feel overwhelmed, confused, or just need someone to talk to. Among this list, who is that one person you feel safe confiding in when things get really hard?

Nobody: I find that talking to absolute strangers --- or a mental health therapists ---is one of the best ways to get issues off my chest and also get a perspectives different from mine where possible.

Exgee:
✓Sometimes I wish I could switch off my phone or change my line or even block them from reaching me.
I'm getting increasingly frustrated with the whole thing. I'm under intense pressure.
I'm not yet a father to anyone, yet I'm being overwhelmed with responsibilities. Its not like I have. I'm just struggling to survive but no one seems to understand.
I've tried to explain to my mum but it seems she's not getting it. Whenever they call, demands must be made. I hate to hear the unending complaints all the time.
There was a time I decided not to pick their calls for two months and I was reported to other family members, I was severely scolded and I had to repent.
I sincerely don't know if being a first born is a crime. I don't. Probably a curse. At age 26, I'm already now having grey hair, I've gone bald too, due to lofty and enormous responsibilities. Its not I have a good job. My salary can barely sustain me in terms of feeding.
Whenever I see their calls coming in, my heart jumps. God knows I wouldn't have any issues helping my own blood but in a situation where they know I'm still struggling and they seem not to understand simply because I don't complain is what is annoying me.
Anxiety is killing me.
My blood pressure is now higher than it should be.
I'm always having one-corner headache due to overthinking.

What exactly would you want the see happen in your situation and why are you now not actively pursuing that?

illicit:
✓No The Bible people were Israelites
✓ Israelis from everywhere Europe, Ameticas, Asia and Africa now live in Palestine

Huh? Where Israelites not so by virtue of being blood descendants of the man called Jacob?

2. Judaeh, formerly a part of the original nation of Israel that was constituted by YHWH via Moses, was renamed Palestine Syria in the second century AD. This was after majority of the then Jewish population was exiled from the land, many of them sold off into slavery by the Romans. There are likely blood descendants of Jacob in every nation and maybe even tribe in the world today as a result of the exiles(both the previous Assyrian-led and the more recent Roman-led). 🤔

Over 1900 years later, that same piece of land of reconstituted into different nation called Israel, with some of those who are possible descendants of the original bloodline populating it today. So, what is the meaning of the statement you have in gold there of them living in Palestine instead?

being:
✓ What do u know about parenting? U want them to keep raising the child in an environment where u can discipline the child and then u have teenage gangs and he was already having "an unhealthy interest in knives" .. ✓ the parents should make sure that boy stays in Ghana under a disciplinarian uncle and go to a day School not boarding school..
✓ what sort of useless system is England running for a court to be considering giving a child independence ?

1. By this, you assume then that all children raised in ghettos turn out knife-wielders and gangsters, whereas all children raised elsewhere turn out the opposite? Cut the bull, abeg! 🙄🙄🙄

2. Thankfully, the courts have ruled otherwise, meaning either the parents themselves move back to Ghana with their son to live, or facilitate his move back to the UK to be with them. 🤔

3. Is a system that upholds the rights of a child useless? Why am I not surprised this is coming from a Nigerian? 🙄🙄🙄

RandomFellow:
✓ This is another perspective... But i think the 14year old is already going rogue

Dumping a child in another country because you assume the child to have gone rogue is a solution to what exactly? Aren't there child rogues in that country where you sent the child to? Do all children raised in the host country all turn out great citizens and non-criminal elements? So, of what measurable gain is this act of clear child abandonment, abeg?

RandomFellow:
✓ I believe the parents have their own reasons. I also believe he's old enough to understand that the parents want a better life for him. If he feels he's being maltreated, and wants to return to the UK, make him understand the risks. If he goes back to be with those friends (that I'm trying to separate him from), whatever happens to him is on him. Wherever he ends up in life, would be his own life's decision. I'll only do what I can do as a parent, and not do any extra; as he made his bed, so should he lie on it.

The parents are not good, simple and short. The boy understood this fact and went to the courts to force them to do better. We are talking about a 14-year-old boy abandoned in Ghana — third world— by his folks, fighting in the UK courts for his right.

Afonja007:
✓ I said is rampant with black women I did not say they should not go for treatment ,here is Austria they don't even know what is AA or AS because they don't suffer from sickle cell

But your original statement was something alohg the lines of black women forgoing pursuit of financial freedom and independence before childbearing because their chances at child would be obstructed by fibroids? Why are you now denying this?

This is good News! No be everyone supposed become parents. 🤔

Chilipepper:
Lady makes a vow to herself and her future children

Storyland! as long as you don't chart a path out of poverty for yourself and your future before having them, you will probably end up begging to find a Yahoo boy at some point to feed you and your kids. 🙄🙄🙄

MrPresident1:
Alaye, na you be Muttleylaff-chicken aka NNTR, no dey deceive yourself

Toor! This one na confirmed....

MrPresident1:
✓ Give us Muttleylaff-chicken and NNTR

Are you sure you are doing OK?🤔

I mean what connection do you imagine I have with the user behind the moniker muttley/NNTR whom I have never really known or met except for maybe exchanging a few arguments with in the past on this forum? I mean what would give you the impression, from my chat history and his-- I have not even noticed his posts in years -- that i am close to him or share similar views -- I mean he is a Christian while i believe all religions are scams? 🤔

kkkp:
➜ A friend of mine is preparing for divorce. He has 2 children. What are the challenges he is going to encounter after the divorce?
Note: All processes to reconcile differences between them seems impossible. The only option available is divorce.

Your friend needs a good lawyer, and an appointment, as soon as necessary, with professional mental health counselors/therapists for himself and possibly his children as well.

Nukilia:
➜He should prepare to start another family ASAP...

Without even taking time out to learn lessons from his previous experience, understand how he went wrong and what he would need to do — areas of needed emotional and social development —before diving in again?

Kimikazi2:
➜ Calm down grammar Nazi, it's not just about finance. If one isn't doing what a father ought to do generally, that's being a deadbeat.
➜ The question is how can one be a good father and a role model in absentia?

What do most Nigerian fathers typically pride themselves for doing as fathers, is it not basically providing financially for the raising of their children? (Of course, we all know and are aware that fathers ought to do more, but since we are on the issue of Nigerian fathers, let's at least tackle the basics here.) A good Nigerian father starts off by being a good provider to his children. This is the traditional arrangement that many a Nigerian man has argued for to this day. A deadbeat Nigerian father is one whose mouth is full of numerous excuses for why he should not be expected to meet at least his financial obligations towards his children.

2. How can he be a good father or role model when he can't even measure up as a good provider in absentia? Good father wey no fit send money for school, feeding, and needs... who him audio goodness help?🙄🙄🙄

Kimikazi2:
➜Why is it so hard for you to advise your fellow gender to allow access to the kids? Guys, it's a silly mind game. If the man is denied access to the kids, the mother will brainwash the said kids that the dad is a deadbeat. So it's still a vicious cycle.

At least make effort to learn the meaning and application of words before using them. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

A "deadbeat" is a slang term used to describe someone who habitually fails to pay debts or fulfill financial obligations. It can also refer to a lazy or irresponsible person who is not willing to work or contribute. The term is often used in a derogatory way to criticize someone's lack of responsibility.

For instance, you are a deadbeat dad if you fail to pay regular — typically monthly —child support for your children. You are financially obligated to provide for the well-being and nurture of your child from the moment of birth until that child becomes an independent adult. There are no valid excuses against fulfilling this obligation(not granted one by law, sickness or death). And no, it does not matter the opinion of your children when it comes to your fulfillment of this obligation.

raddyworld:
➜U are not married. Bcus the truth is if u love the children without the woman. U won't got far as family. If you love the wife NEGLECTING the children,they will both suffer it. The parent are like roof/umbrella for the children. Once it is damaged it will affect the home(most especially the children) so both parent must work on themselves. Marriage is sacrifice. Even if it will take the husband and wife to sacrifice their ego.. What if the man continues to pay till those children needed him during wedding, so u expect the father who is not forgiving to let slide? Or cant u see what happened as a result of mobhad parenting issue?

Kai!.... Nigerians... who do una this evil, abeg? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

raddyworld:
➜Can you abandoned ur children when your wife decides to divorce you. As the matter of fact the law says the man should still take care of the children. And what does the woman derived from keeping those children from their father.. It's either u are a female disguising as male. U never emphasize on the woman errors even if its not enough for the father to neglect the children. You don't have the experience... I have seen mother begging the Father for fatherly blessing on the daughters that was was away from him since teenager during the daughters wedding. Bcus the first wedding was arranged without the father and lead to breakup between the couple. If I am doubting you marital status it starts with ur response on such marital issues. If you have not been there stop castigating or condemning those who have experience it

Kai! ... Many Nigerians really don't like their children at all....love of children is definitely far from them! 🙄🙄🙄

raddyworld:
➜Ohoh. Can u have that finance request if the so called man is dead, abnormal, out of peace, joy and crazy. As the children wellbeing is concerned, so also the parents who will provide all they needed physical and spiritual until they can man up themselves. Can u put the care of a child in the hand of a mad parent? U can have a marriage neither children if the couple didn't have the peace to agree initially. It takes wisdom for a woman to allow the father access so as to get the best for the children. It takes the effort of both parent the give those children the best. So coming together is the best solution here.
However, if they choose not, they should both save the children of those drama of fatherly or motherly love. Even if the man doesn't have a job to sustain the family. The couple need to create the right environment for the children, not all theses division. I have not read where any said that they intentionally not catered for the children. What I have read is the mother keeping them off to access those children.
Secondly, don't forget that the major reason for this topic is a responsible father not an irresponsible father that won't even check not to talk of money to the children. In short, try to understand that the level of our anger, tolerant, patience and reaction to things are of different levels.
After all, unity and good parenting environment is primary to the financial issues u talking about.

Storyland! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

The long and short of all this remains that you choose to abandon your children the moment the woman you were formerly in a relationship with decides to go her way. All these long epistles to nowhere are unnecessary, given that no amount of word salad you continue to cook up can hide that fact.

Pharaoh4rin:
Some ladies misbehaves, disrespects and are so rude to their parents that lay curses on when they'll get married. Some mothers will tell their daughters that that the sorrow you caused me today, you will witness it 10 times over when you marry.
Karma is Bae. Some horrible experiences by this gender is an inherited curse. Men are not this demonic.
I'm just saying.

Sharrrraaaaaap! Nonsense and eegridient! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

raddyworld:
➜The fact still remains you don't have the experience. I doubt if u are married and if so you are not living with ur family. Marriage itself is sacrifice. So telling me suffer or not suffer. They called it for better for worst. As a reader I don't expect u selecting words as toddler. I told u up there that I DONT SUPPORT FATHERS NEGLECTING THEIR CHILDREN. But ur one way argument has never make senses to people who felt the impact. Don't u read where those people are willing to spend on there children. So u comprehension is that a reasonable father will forsake the child care because of issue with the mother. This can at times happens if the man has other wife's and children around. Do u think they won't value their children. I have questions for u. ARE YOU MARRIED?
IF SO , HAVE U EVER BEEN DIVORCED? IF SO, HOW ARE YOU MANAGING THE SITUATION? Thirdly HOW OLD ARE U IN MARRIAGE?
LASTLY, your ideas of them staying separately will still suffer the children. So the best way is the couple to come together so as to continuing building the family. Honestly you can't love children than most of those guys. Someone even said he nearly commit suicide and hear u are justifying balderdash.

Just look at all of the ramblings... none of them actually related to the child in question. Yet, we are told that these children are somehow loved, even with all of this that has nothing to do with it? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

raddyworld:
➜Ogaaa ooo.KOBOJUNKIE....HABA I have been reading your comment since. I just discovered you can hardly settle mattered between couples. It got to a stage I was thinking you may be single with you responds.
➜ The question is that have you ever put urself in the position or experience such? It takes two to proper parenting. And the roles of the father and mother can not be ruled out. Be CLEAR I DONT SUPPORT FATHER ABANDONING THE CHILDREN, WHATSOEVER...
1. But Should a wife that cared about the children keep the children out of the reach of their father?
2. Should a wife that is forgiving and not self ago blocked the husband from accessing?
3. Did both understand marriage before they go into it?
4. Can we all be of the same character or grace to reaction to situations?
➜ Those people are telling u what they felt, how they are in pains and disappointment despite sacrifices, which I think u have not experienced . Yet u come hear to give your one way advice..
➜ I don't believe anyone is the master when it comes to marriage. Bcus we still have elderly people and Clergy still battling with marriage issues in their home. See PRACTICAL MARRIAGE WILL HUMBLE anyone.
Because it is two imperfect being. Let me shine more light to this for u. Some of those people u quoted wrong may not find the happiness in wife but children due to something best known to them presently.
➜Now imagine taking your joy from you despite the sacrifice.. Both spouse should work on no room for divorce and if it happens, let those couples try to be at peace bcus of the children. LETS PUT OURSELVES IN PEOPLE'S SHOES BEFORE COMMENTING.

When two elephants fight, it is the grass — the children in this case— that suffer. The elephants are not in need of pity, especially mine.

2. That is a dumb question to ask me or anything on this matter.

3. Telling me of their personal disappointments, sorrows, etc., all excuses for why they should subject their children to a life of serious hardship, emotional and mental damage, right?

4. Two people are broken up and moved on, yet you are still rambling about marriage. Nonsense! 🙄🙄🙄

The question is, why do you no longer feel you have to go all out for your children when your marriage/relationship with their mother/father is over? Stop flailing all over the place and answer the question.

5. What a wicked response! Your joy exists only when the children and woman live with you. Otherwise, the children might as well no longer exist to you? Ugh! 🙄🙄

Halastershang:
➜You could be right, but think about it this way, how could he tell his child is being cared for properly and not that the money he is sending is being mismanaged by the mother if he doesn't get the chance to see the child? We shouldn't jump into conclusions when we don't have all the facts

1. Complete withholding of support in this case is the best course of action when one is not certain whether one's child is being cared for. If a child you abandoned in such a way walked up to you one day to ask you why you have refused to send money for his upkeep all these many years before, can you look him or her in the eye and spit this out as a reason?

Kimikazi2:
➜When the mum blocks access to the kids, it means she's capable of taking care of them without input from the man.
➜How can I be sure that the money is being well spent when I can't even see the kids?
➜ Ladies love to use children as pawns when they know that their ex-partners have soft spot for their kids. That's what I'm hammering on. I saw this firsthand.
➜My aunt broke up with her husband while we were growing up and frustrated every move by the man to see his kids. She's always trying to get sympathy saying the man is terrible but I know how wicked she truly is....

1. What a convenient excuse to shirk one's obligations towards one's own kids.

2. So, not being sure, is reason enough to WITHHOLD resources meant to go towards supporting the child until adulthood?

3. Ladies love to do what you claim, so the men take it on themselves to use the ladies as a convenient excuse to, altogether, abandon their children, right?

4. The husband then took the opportunity to abandon the children — flesh and blood— in response?

phorget:
Nah una sabi where una dey see rubbish to marry.

Like those are scarce or something? Abegi! 🫤

PattyMike:
➜ Don’t judge! I gave them the best life, best school, drive to school in the morning n pick ‘em up at noon. I live in a 3 bed duplex, they sleep in aircon rooms. She is with her parents, they moved from ajah to Epe and I don’t know the new address. Yes I have the option to send money to the moms acct without communication as she hasn’t picked my call in 3 months.
➜ She petitioned me to human rights and didn’t bother showing up, I drove 4 hours and all ended in futility. How can I seek the help of the court if there’s no address to serve them a notice. This same woman brags around her brothers are rich and she is capable enough to take care of the kids. Just one month of handling bills she run go human rights, I provided steadily for 2 years plus. Before I remember buy boxers for myself I spend all I earn on my family, 60% of my boxers are torn. I hadn’t bought clothes in over a year yet I am working and earning 7 figures. She knows those kids are my life, the best way to punish me is to take them away.
➜ Do u know I attempted suicide the second week they left, I cried everyday the first week without my children. I would’ve died if not for timely intervention of my bestfriend. Don’t be quick to judge my dear friend.
➜ Do u know I have been battling depression n suicidal thoughts for the past 3 months, randomly burst into tears when I see other toddlers with thier dad going to school. The shame n stigma of a broken marriage especially when everyone knows I’m the cause. She made sure everyone knew this, both family n friends home & abroad. I lost friends n business associates and almost lost my sanity, I go waka for road dey talk to myself lol.
➜ Unfortunately I don’t blame her, she has become a monster of my own creation. Leave the marriage if that’s your decision but don’t punish those kids for my mistake. My biggest weakness na my children, she knows and her family knows. Unfortunately my innocent kids have become a pawn in this dangerous game they’re playing. Attached is my first n second from 5 months ago.

1. You gave them the best life until you decided not to give them the best life anymore? Do you know how a child would interpret what you just said there? 😏😏😏

2. The kids are your life, yet you felt they ought to be denied this former best life you claim you once gave them because you had a falling out with the woman? 😏😏😏

3. I have attempted suicide myself, many times, but it was never over a kid or anyone else. So, yeah! 😏😏😏

4. Sounds to me like your depression is over the loss of what you used to have and not really over concern for your kids. If you really felt bad about the kids, wouldn't the first thing to do be to ensure they are eating well and living well wherever they may be? I am just asking out loud cause it sure seems to me like your depression and all is for some personal pity party — directed inwards — and not really out of real concern for the kids themselves. 😏😏😏😏

5. You don't blame her, but the kids are currently paying for it? I mean, the fact that you cut off funding of their formerly best life is proof that the ones suffering are the kids in this case.😏😏😏😏

These stories you are telling me here now, can you actually look your daughter or son in the eye today and repeat all of this as a reason for why they should no longer expect to get the best life from you? For real, the way many of you dey process issues concerning your flesh and blood na.... very terrible heart indeed. 😏😏

Kimikazi2:
➜You're just deliberately being malicious, perhaps to make yourself look good or something. Why should the dad take up responsibilities and be denied access to his kids? You're not talking about that denial at all!
➜Most of these ladies are vindictive, they'll brainwash the kids and say the dad is deadbeat to begin with. If the guy isn't present in their lives, only paying bills, it's like fetching water with basket.

1. Imagine me as a child asking you why my dad should withhold his responsibilities towards me, his child, in the case that he is not allowed to see me? Do I stop needing to be fed, catered for, nurtured, etc., because, for some reason, he is not allowed to see me? Why should the child have to suffer because two adults are not mature enough to set aside their issues?

2. My concern has never been about the ladies or the men's, but about the responsibility of parents to their children. So, stop bringing up meaningless issues between two equally immature, vindictive adults— withholding support from your child because the mother is not cooperating with you is a vindictive move against the child— and focus more on the fact that the abandoned child is caused to suffer needlessly, all because of what?

Nnamdipapa:
➜Based on my lived experience, low libido can be tied to painful intercourse. When pain is associated with intercourse, it can make a lady less interested

Painful intercourse is not the same as reduced libido. Many of these women have very strong libidos, even with the pain. And there are treatments for many of the signs associated with FGM.

Nnamdipapa:
Genital circumcision and painful intercourse leading to no-existent libido. As a Christian brother, it was not sex before marriage. Hehehehhe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsxPD5-VIb4?si=9BAi5q9fzFUlTeiY

Nnamdipapa:
➜Genital circumcision and painful intercourse leading to no-existent libido.
As a Christian brother, it was not sex before marriage. Hehehehhe

Storyland! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Where una come get this notion say libido is directly tied to organs and muscle tissues? Africans and the spreading of myths ehn! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06lMe2pT-eI?si=OTWMV1xL9Tp7PM-O

Expanse2020:
the thread toss you to the corner of religion you can't riun your mouth as usual.. you come de give unnecessary comments

Are you sure you are OK in the head?

I don't have a religion. And your religion is not better than all the other religions since ALL RELIGIONS are massive scams... businesses, aka corporate-level fraud.

PattyMike:
➜In my case, I am not allowed access to my children. Infact I haven’t set eyes on them in 4 months. The wife blocked me everywhere, even Snapchat where I saved a video of my kids she got the notification cleared all chats n pics then blocked me. Tarnished my image to friend n family, yes I have a big part in the issue but it hurts me I am not allowed to see my kids. Infact she is planning on traveling out of the country with the kids. To make sure I never see them again.
➜I refused to send any more money until I am allowed at least a weekend per month with my kids and a week stay with me during school holiday.
➜It hurts me every day when I think of i,t but what can I do? I currently don’t know their whereabouts.

The courts denied you access to your children, why?

2. The children should suffer until the woman you are angry at decides she has had them suffer enough?

3. You contribute nothing to their upbringing and welfare for the last 4 months, you have not bothered to ensure you at least know their whereabouts, yet you want us to believe it hurts you every day?

Na all this una African stories dey make me understand well well why the same excuses here automagically earns one the label of a deadbeat father/mother.