₦airaland Forum

PattyMike:
➜ Don’t judge! I gave them the best life, best school, drive to school in the morning n pick ‘em up at noon. I live in a 3 bed duplex, they sleep in aircon rooms. She is with her parents, they moved from ajah to Epe and I don’t know the new address. Yes I have the option to send money to the moms acct without communication as she hasn’t picked my call in 3 months.
➜ She petitioned me to human rights and didn’t bother showing up, I drove 4 hours and all ended in futility. How can I seek the help of the court if there’s no address to serve them a notice. This same woman brags around her brothers are rich and she is capable enough to take care of the kids. Just one month of handling bills she run go human rights, I provided steadily for 2 years plus. Before I remember buy boxers for myself I spend all I earn on my family, 60% of my boxers are torn. I hadn’t bought clothes in over a year yet I am working and earning 7 figures. She knows those kids are my life, the best way to punish me is to take them away.
➜ Do u know I attempted suicide the second week they left, I cried everyday the first week without my children. I would’ve died if not for timely intervention of my bestfriend. Don’t be quick to judge my dear friend.
➜ Do u know I have been battling depression n suicidal thoughts for the past 3 months, randomly burst into tears when I see other toddlers with thier dad going to school. The shame n stigma of a broken marriage especially when everyone knows I’m the cause. She made sure everyone knew this, both family n friends home & abroad. I lost friends n business associates and almost lost my sanity, I go waka for road dey talk to myself lol.
➜ Unfortunately I don’t blame her, she has become a monster of my own creation. Leave the marriage if that’s your decision but don’t punish those kids for my mistake. My biggest weakness na my children, she knows and her family knows. Unfortunately my innocent kids have become a pawn in this dangerous game they’re playing. Attached is my first n second from 5 months ago.

1. You gave them the best life until you decided not to give them the best life anymore? Do you know how a child would interpret what you just said there? 😏😏😏

2. The kids are your life, yet you felt they ought to be denied this former best life you claim you once gave them because you had a falling out with the woman? 😏😏😏

3. I have attempted suicide myself, many times, but it was never over a kid or anyone else. So, yeah! 😏😏😏

4. Sounds to me like your depression is over the loss of what you used to have and not really over concern for your kids. If you really felt bad about the kids, wouldn't the first thing to do be to ensure they are eating well and living well wherever they may be? I am just asking out loud cause it sure seems to me like your depression and all is for some personal pity party — directed inwards — and not really out of real concern for the kids themselves. 😏😏😏😏

5. You don't blame her, but the kids are currently paying for it? I mean, the fact that you cut off funding of their formerly best life is proof that the ones suffering are the kids in this case.😏😏😏😏

These stories you are telling me here now, can you actually look your daughter or son in the eye today and repeat all of this as a reason for why they should no longer expect to get the best life from you? For real, the way many of you dey process issues concerning your flesh and blood na.... very terrible heart indeed. 😏😏

Kimikazi2:
➜You're just deliberately being malicious, perhaps to make yourself look good or something. Why should the dad take up responsibilities and be denied access to his kids? You're not talking about that denial at all!
➜Most of these ladies are vindictive, they'll brainwash the kids and say the dad is deadbeat to begin with. If the guy isn't present in their lives, only paying bills, it's like fetching water with basket.

1. Imagine me as a child asking you why my dad should withhold his responsibilities towards me, his child, in the case that he is not allowed to see me? Do I stop needing to be fed, catered for, nurtured, etc., because, for some reason, he is not allowed to see me? Why should the child have to suffer because two adults are not mature enough to set aside their issues?

2. My concern has never been about the ladies or the men's, but about the responsibility of parents to their children. So, stop bringing up meaningless issues between two equally immature, vindictive adults— withholding support from your child because the mother is not cooperating with you is a vindictive move against the child— and focus more on the fact that the abandoned child is caused to suffer needlessly, all because of what?

Nnamdipapa:
➜Based on my lived experience, low libido can be tied to painful intercourse. When pain is associated with intercourse, it can make a lady less interested

Painful intercourse is not the same as reduced libido. Many of these women have very strong libidos, even with the pain. And there are treatments for many of the signs associated with FGM.

Nnamdipapa:
Genital circumcision and painful intercourse leading to no-existent libido. As a Christian brother, it was not sex before marriage. Hehehehhe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsxPD5-VIb4?si=9BAi5q9fzFUlTeiY

Nnamdipapa:
➜Genital circumcision and painful intercourse leading to no-existent libido.
As a Christian brother, it was not sex before marriage. Hehehehhe

Storyland! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Where una come get this notion say libido is directly tied to organs and muscle tissues? Africans and the spreading of myths ehn! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06lMe2pT-eI?si=OTWMV1xL9Tp7PM-O

Expanse2020:
the thread toss you to the corner of religion you can't riun your mouth as usual.. you come de give unnecessary comments

Are you sure you are OK in the head?

I don't have a religion. And your religion is not better than all the other religions since ALL RELIGIONS are massive scams... businesses, aka corporate-level fraud.

PattyMike:
➜In my case, I am not allowed access to my children. Infact I haven’t set eyes on them in 4 months. The wife blocked me everywhere, even Snapchat where I saved a video of my kids she got the notification cleared all chats n pics then blocked me. Tarnished my image to friend n family, yes I have a big part in the issue but it hurts me I am not allowed to see my kids. Infact she is planning on traveling out of the country with the kids. To make sure I never see them again.
➜I refused to send any more money until I am allowed at least a weekend per month with my kids and a week stay with me during school holiday.
➜It hurts me every day when I think of i,t but what can I do? I currently don’t know their whereabouts.

The courts denied you access to your children, why?

2. The children should suffer until the woman you are angry at decides she has had them suffer enough?

3. You contribute nothing to their upbringing and welfare for the last 4 months, you have not bothered to ensure you at least know their whereabouts, yet you want us to believe it hurts you every day?

Na all this una African stories dey make me understand well well why the same excuses here automagically earns one the label of a deadbeat father/mother.

stuffs2002:
➜There is no way you would understand how normal people thin[/b]k since you deliberately called him my friend when he is not. Just like you, I was only responding to comments on this thread and at no time [b]did I claim the individual concerned was my friend.
➜Secondly, why did you deliberately avoided the aspect where the fellow drove all the way from Ibadan to Lagos only for the ex-partner to deny him access to the child.
➜I agree that two wrongs does not make a right but why you chose to deliberately ignored the person that started the fire in the first instance.

That you think the way you think is normal.. is mind-boggling. If you were not talking of someone you knew— at least a neighbor or friend—, how the f-ck are you so certain he did not abandon his children as you pretend?

2. I did not avoid it. Such things are a given when it comes to divorce and breakups. Using that as an excuse or reason to altogether abandon another human being— a child from your own loins — is what is monstrous.

3. **rolls eyes***

boom99:
➜It's a long story. No worry.

Long story that ended with the man abandoning his children and then turning around to blame the woman for seems to be negligence on his part?

boom99:
➜ Hmmm...sometimes it's not the guys fault ooo. A scenario where the guy asked for account to no of the school to pay school fees the lady got angry and refused to pick calls saying the guy isn't ready yet( she wants the money in her account

The man no know where the lady dey live or where her mama and papa dey live or where the court dey wey him go go report her for not paying attention to his children who are registered under his name too— assuming they were formally a married couple?

stuffs2002:
This is a big fat lie. Most fathers want to be in children's lives but the bitter ex-wife will do everything within their power to keep the children away from the father as a way to punish the father.
Most ex-wives will even poison and brainwash the kids into hating their dads

. Do these fathers in turn abandon the children?

stuffs2002:
➜your inability to comprehend a simple scenario is totally your fault because you failed to see where the fellow drove all the way from Ibadan to Lagos and was still denied access to the child.

I really don't understand how you people think at all. Your friend drove from Ibadan to Lagos to see the kid, only to be denied visitation; should he completely abandon the child? Is that really how your brain works?

DarkJeddi:
➜You mean the same Mothers that makes a Man's life a living h£ll ,because he wants to be in his children's lives until he gives up for his mental health?

Does the man really desire to be with the children or does he use the woman as an excuse to shirk his responsibilities towards the children?

damoladeji:
➜I have a contrary opinion to yours. What about in situations some men evict their kids from home to their mothers just because their wives hurt them. Should children be made to pay for the sins of their mothers

In Nigeria, the average man sees the woman and her sins tied with the children, though. So, when a woman has a falling out with her man, traditionally, the man is allowed to chase the woman and her children back to her parents.

DarkJeddi:
➜Why should a man's life be turned into a living hell because he wants to be in his children's lives?
➜ At which point does he say enough! and prioritise his mental health?
➜ Abi his own wellbeing doesn't matter?

What worries me more is the fact that you pretend it is well within bounds to procreate while at the same time live as though those children don't even exist.

2. Prioritize a man's mental health and well-being over that of the children he has with the woman he now seems at loggerheads with?

3. Prioritize a man's well-being over that of his child?

ugodson:
✓ Would you advice your brother to pay the school fees to his ex or directly to the school?

Either, depending on the situation. As along as I know the children live with her and are catered for by her, why not? The courts are there for me to fight whatever issue I may have with her but there is absolutely no reason why I should abandon my children's needs for or because of any human.

ugodson:
✓ Why trying to twist things. Can't i know the school i will be paying for? When i say vacation i mean holidays am not out if the country

Read your very own words, abeg!

ugodson:
Samantha 125 is very correct. Am experiencing this currently she took my kids along with her , i called and called if i could be paying school fees no responses, she called years later asking for school which i told her i dont have a problem with it i will pay school fees but Firstly i need to know the school they attend a d secondly the kids will be spending long vacation with me. Please Nairaland is that too much to ask? Ever since then no reply.
Why will i be paying for school i dont know about later she can be telling the kids she is the one paying

No be you write am?

If the woman refuses, for instance to allow you this long vacation or holiday, or whatever it is, with the kids, will you still pay for their school fees? Your ending question there to us suggests it won't happen. 🤔

Ofekongsk:
Well some men neglect the kids so that the mother go feel am

It is, for them, a chance to get back at the mothers without even an ounce of consideration as to how to children would feel, right?

ugodson:
✓ Samantha 125 is very correct. Am experiencing this currently she took my kids along with her , i called and called if i could be paying school fees no responses, she called years later asking for school which i told her i dont have a problem with it i will pay school fees but Firstly i need to know the school they attend a d secondly the kids will be spending long vacation with me. Please Nairaland is that too much to ask? Ever since then no reply.
✓ Why will i be paying for school i dont know about later she can be telling the kids she is the one paying

So, the kids only exist to you if she will allow them spend long vacation with you, otherwise they might not exist to you?

2. Ah, there is it! Another directly admission!

Factcheck0001:
so for your mind u think I get strength to argue with someone like u?

I stated a plain fact, you dey talk argue...to what end?

[quote author= post=135702666]Apart from Catholic and Anglican, others are business centers.[/quote]Those ones are global business centers that is why their footprints seem small to you. Most of the corporate models used in the running if businesses and franchises even today come from models used by the Catholic and then the Anglican organizations. 🙄🙄🙄

[quote author=Expanse2020 post=135708001✓ Keep deceiving yourself when you know down there it's a business center you are running[/quote]That you have yet to realize that even your Islamic regimes are nothing but political business centers is what floors me at this point You keep running from thread to thread trying to laugh at the other religion not realizing that your own is exactly the same ...in that it is just a different side of the same religious coin. That is the shame of your comments. 😩😩😩

APCheat:
Satan will give you money, but with short life.

So, na your God give IBB, and all the other criminal politicians in Nigeria, many of whom have been draining the Nigerian economy dry since the 60s/70s? Una formulae no dey ever work when put up against reality. You know why? It has to do with the fact that your delusions are built in nothing but pure unadulterated lies! 😩😩😩

AngelahFlo:
✓ I've shared a post on forgiveness on this forum but I'm being led to share it again with more insight.
I'll start with a question. What is forgiveness or more directly what does it mean to forgive? This is one question that seems easy to answer until you experience it. That's when you're hit with the raw truth. I've heard a lot of people say "I can forgive but I'll never forget." They fail to realize that it's impossible to forgive without forgetting. The two are like a snail and it's shell; where one goes, the other follows. As long as you still keep the hurt in your memory, you've not really forgiven the offender.
✓ To forgive is to blot out of your mind and consciousness every record of wrong incurred by an offender to you and my dear this ain't an easy thing to do.

1. I am sorry... What the heck is the meaning of this? First of all, where do you get this ridiculous notion that to forgive is to forget? Do you will your mind to forget the crime that was committed by the offending person against you? Do humans even have the ability to consciously erase the memory of an event that not only left you with some possible trauma attached? What makes you think that letting go of the trauma associated with the event means letting go of the memory entirely --- forgetting? 😩😩

2. Make una dey try deeply reason these ideas una dey hold so. How person go experience a possibly traumatic event only to then erase that memory --- by magic --- in the name of forgiving the perpetrator? Doesn't that leave that victim open to being assaulted in exactly the same way in the future? What do they say...fool me once shame on me..fool me twice, I be ogbonge Mumu be that. 🤔

fredoooooo:
✓ This one loud abeg
The problemtodat is that many people attach religion and faith to to succes. They wait for miracle to happen insead of doing rhe right thing to be successful in life .

43 years from now, he would be ready to try Islam or Buddhism next.😁

Ikukuudo:
Na mumu dey worry this one

Mumu dey worry am because he finally realized that he has been worshipping the Christian god(s) in vain?🤔

22jumpstreet:
✓ So in my analysis he scored about 38/100.
That does not sound like somebody who came to fulfill the scripture or somebody who is perfect.
What did he get in your own scoring .?

In following the Word of YHWH, God of Israel, though, His Law was absolute, implying that it was not possible for a man to partially uphold or partially violate any of His laws — it's all or nothing. But I see here that in your scorings, you take the liberty to partially process the carrying out of each law based on your ideas certifying that your judgement has little or nothing to do with a concern for the Law of YHWH —clearly, YHWH is a joke to you—, but more to do with a deep-seated issue you have with the person of Jesus Christ of Israel. To what end, though?

22jumpstreet:
✓ In so many places, he did say God sent him to come and give his life for many. Which is a blatant lie as God hates human sacrifice.
✓ He is bearing false witness against God. God already gave a solution to the problem of sin and it did not involve human sacrifice. For that he scores 2/10.

You claim that in so many places, Jesus Christ of Israel claimed that the YHWH of Israel sent Him to give His life for many. Can you please provide us with at least two or three of these places so we can try to understand the evidence that you, here, convict Him with? 🤔

2. Interesting claim since it is hard to argue against anyone whose ideas regarding YHWH of Israel begin and end with the 10 commandments. So, I won't even bother, but wait for the referencing for the first part. 🤔

22jumpstreet:
✓ It is only in this one he scores maximum points. There is no evidence in any of the gospel that he coveted anything that belongs to his neighbors. He was a wanderer...so he gets 10/10.

Even though the story instead has him sending them to get the donkey, with a message if asked why they were taking it, your biased conclusion is instead that he stole it all this in order to condemn him for a crime he is never in fact reported to have committed, not by the one who owned the donkey or those around? ,,🙄😩😩

22jumpstreet:
✓ There is a story that is found only In the gospel of John. It concerns a woman he meat at the well and promised to give living water. You can agree or disagree with me, living water is an euphemism for "male sperm/or seed". That is the only plausible deduction given the woman has been with 5 different men (probably looking for a child) and the passage continues that he spent some days in the town most likely in the woman's house. He scores 2/10
well, he did send his disciples to take somebody's donkey. That is stealing . He scores 2/10.
In so many places, he did say God sent him to come and give his life for many. Which is a blatant lie as God hates human sacrifice. He is bearing false witness against God. God already gave a solution to the problem of sin and it did not involve human sacrifice. For that he scores 2/10.

This is the height of all desperation, abeg! No be brain fart dem dey call this? 😩😩😩

The law you quoted clearly states one is forbidden from committing adultery -- sexual acts with a married individual one is not currently married to. What evidence do you have that Jesus Christ of Israel literally had sex with a married woman? 🙄🙄🙄

22jumpstreet:
✓ He did not kill anyone persay, but telling people God sent you on a suicide mission is taking it too far. He gets 7/10

According to the same you, Jesus Christ of Israel did not murder anyone, meaning He can't then be judged by that very law. Yet, you took it upon yourself to judge him as guilty anyways? This here is another one of the many reasons why I avoid directly interacting with you religious bots. You are neither here nor there, almost all of the times. It is so infuriating. 😩😩😩

22jumpstreet:
✓ His mother and brothers came to see him when they heard he was becoming a bit of a Looney, he totally blew them away. Not a good behavior from somebody who claimed he came to fulfill the law.
I will score him 0/10

Wait a second ...honoring of one's parent involves not blowing them off? Are you joking?😳😳😳

Where does this explaination of yours for the law come from? Provide reference, please.