₦airaland Forum

Emvicprints1:
Omo how are people copping? You can't go to farm cause of insecurity, no jobs , you can't even go to your business place cause of high transportation. Who we offend God!!!!!!

Which God? Nigerians no wan fight their oppressors, even the ones right there in their backyards, but they are quick to claim na some God of a far away place dey torment them? Abegi!

Chram:
➜Guy, you're really disturbing me. Please kobojunkie, leave me alone. How many times will u comment and quote me on this thread? Haba na! Its becoming annoying now pls

Why do my questions upset you? That is what I would like to know. I didn't realize that there were only so many times a person was meant to comment on this particular thread.

Brenbentondiaz:
✓ Are you dyslexic, or just generally obtuse? Or you just find some joy in being pedantic? Who said Jesus Christ was coming to Nigeria?

This one just wan argue for the sake of arguing! 😞😞😞

Chram:
✓ Try to also consider how her children feel at this point in time

You said you are currently in charge of providing for your mother and siblings, right? Don't you see that once your mother gets married, it would mean you would have more money for your siblings instead. And your mother may be able to finally chip in every now as then?

EverydayTipsfor:
✓ But that's not fair. If mothers are to be given up like that, what will happen to the child/children?

It is both sexes that do it but usually men of course. As for the children, suffering pro max for most all of them after the separation.

Tufialwa!😀😩😩😩😩😩

EverydayTipsfor:
➜Why do so many African fathers neglect their children, especially after a divorce or separation? Does divorcing the mother also mean divorcing the children?
How can you be at peace knowing your children are not feeding well? Just because they’re with their mother, you think it's no longer your concern? How do you sleep well, eat well, and laugh with friends, knowing that a part of you — your own flesh and blood — is out there suffering?

Spousal abandonment/divorce also implies abandonment of the children from the marriage... at least that seems to be the cultural understanding in much of Africa, including Nigeria. I saw quite a lot of that growing up in Nigeria.

Chram:
➜Pls help me beg her not to leave us pls 😭😭😭
➜My dad's spirit will never be pleased whenever he is now

Sounds more like it is your tradition that is forcing you all to have to leave her if she remarries. 🙄🙄🙄

2. Your Dad's spirit? The same spirit that has not been paying your bills and providing food for you all this time? 😐😐😐😐

Chram:
Sir, u won't understand. U won't understand at all. There are things I cannot say here publicly

. Answer the question.

Chram:
➜Its painful. I can't accept any form of assistance from her husband as a male child. Even if there's a misunderstanding between them, I am not expected to come in and settle them

And rather than cut ties with the silly traditions, na your mama you see to attack? No be cowardice dem dey call that one?

janetbassey:
➜Hmm okay. If you say so. I hope you find a nice well mannered girl to keep you happy. Take care. 😊

You will not send yourself but someone else's daughter in with that immature being? How cruel can you be?

Ibehchizzy:
Quick to anger like my dad
And stubborn like my mom

Most of these people posting are learned traits, many of them bad habits, that can be unlearned by those disciplined enough to want to do so. 🥱🥱🥱🥱

ExAngel007:
"The monies that my husband kept for Nigeria vanished. People are not talking about that" Former First Lady Maryam Sani Abacha, speaks on 27th anniversary of Abacha's passing (video) l

Family of Barawos/Oles/Thieves/Ndi ohins😩😩😩😩😩

Chram:
✓ I'm the one

Your mother, by marrying, may finally be able to contribute something to her own children oe at least stop depending on you. Can you not see that?

In Africa, a widow who has nothing to do and does not earn any money or her own will likely remain a burden to her family or children until she remarries, finding herself a man to care for her. By doing that, she may also finally have some way of providing, even if a pittance towards the raising of her own children. Have you ever considered that?

You listen to your paternal relatives who don't provide for you and your siblings, but condemn your mother for trying to find a way forward. Why?

MikeofKd:
✓ I'm more emotional intelligent than you tho.
✓ I'm also quite logical than you ,
✓ you seem not to understand the difference between logic and emotions ,
✓ your emotional that's why you are spitting all these curse words in the first place ✓ I'm logical that's why ✓ I'm giving u a reply without any curse words.

Your claims vehemently deny this claim of yours.

2. Again, your very own confessions clearly reveal you are far from logical in your dealings.

3. My understanding of the difference between emotions and logic isn't the problem here but your lack.

4. Stating a fact DOES NOT suggest that one is being emotional. But you wouldn't realize this because you probably think emotions are dirty things that you should consider beneath you--- even though you are clearly ruled by them from your earlier claims of being cold --, right? 🥱🥱🥱

5. Again, there is absolutely nothing logical about the way you approach your emotions or the way you confess you treat others. 🥱🥱🥱🥱

IBenardoo:
Bro you need urgent prayers
Damn!!
That's cold blood 🥶🥶

Prayers are useless for people without social and emotional intelligence like that poster abeg. He needs mental rehabilitation instead. 😒

IBenardoo:
✓ In other words you are a dangerous person in disguise

He is instead an insecure person wearing a mask to cover up his insecurities.

Reminderz:
Coldness from my dad... No matter what, I rarely show how I really feel inside... I might care a lot about you, but you will have a hard time knowing my true intentions...

Fear of your own emotional vulnerability is weakness on your part. Everybody is made of emotions and it is OK to be vulnerable too. Fearing this natural phenomenon is a possible sign of past trauma and may lead to loneliness even when surrounded by many.

MikeofKd:
✓ Yeah from my Dad actually, he is a cold hearted bastard , I do not have a soft heart but I'm a good person and I'm very logical too but I hate it so much.
My heart is cold as Russia , I can't fall in love like a proper human being, all the girls that truly loved me I broke their hearts to pieces , my heart is too cold for stuffs like love. It makes me feel weak. But I honestly wish Im not like that.

Nonsense claim! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Being an arsehole to others is not logical but pure arseholery that stems from having terrible social and emotional intelligence. Stop going around lying that you possess the gift of logic when you don't. 🥱🥱🥱🥱

IBenardoo:
I am too reserved, and i dey mind my business. This one is definitely my dad's

None! 🥱🥱🥱

Chram:
✓ I believe u have a mother, so try to show some respect to other people's mother's if u actually have respect for yours

Who currently provides for you and your siblings? Your mother or your father's family?

Exceed15:
✓ I don't like Tinubu o..

Well, it ain't about whether one likes him or not but the fact that he is the president. And that in turn means a hellish existence for 10s of millions including the rich who will likely become targets of the poor and hungry.

HisWife4eva:
➜I am going through the small documents I have at home and I can see that my birth certificate was issued by National population commission in 2006 but it says I was born in 1997. But my mom can not accurately remember when I was born and if the date of birth stated on the certificate is correct I would be 9years in 2006 does this mean I have been going to school for years without a birth certificate? My mom said I started kg at 2years old but I don’t have those certificates ..I think my age isn’t accurate. How do I make sure? Is it possible to be born in 1997 and not have a birth certificate till 2006?

If your mother does not remember when you were born, na this National population Commission wey never do census since 2006 go come know?🙄🙄🙄

Focus instead on doing a DNA test to confirm your mother did not steal/kidnap you from someone else, and maybe visit a doctor to do a check-up to confirm you are at least over 20—bone history— at this point, abeg! 😎😎

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bwq8z4MC98?si=5mt8IHBX1-uQ47SI

Nigeria's socio-economic challenges are pushing many young, able-bodied men to sell their kidneys without minding the long-term repercussions. One million naira is the 'official' price for a kidney in Abuja's black market of organ trade.

In this documentary, Trust TV provides insights into the shadow economy of illegal kidney trade that may have thrived for many years out of public sight.

Chram:
➜... I describe as Selfish, inconsiderate and egoistical the decision of my mum to remarry.
➜... My current challenge now is my mum is in her mid forties and wants to remarry to a man in the village. She hasn't told me yet. But my paternal aunt called to inform me. I'm really worried because if she gets remarried, she will abandon my younger siblings who are there with her because she won't be allowed to take my siblings to her new husband's house as it is an abomination based on the customs and traditions of our place. If my siblings must live with her in that place, then they will have to start bearing the new husband's name as his children. Why ?
➜Also, as a male child, I'm not allowed to go visit here and eat or sleep over in her new house. If I do this, I might die. Why is this?
➜ Based on reports, my grandfather(mum's dad) is the one mounting pressure on my mum to get married. I'm really worried about the whole situation because the ties between my mum and my siblings are about to be severed. Since my dad died, my mum has been living in her father's house instead of my dad's place. Though both places aren't far from each other. Its trekkable. I feel really hurt and betrayed, I can't even imagine my mum in the arms of another man. If I was stable in monetary and economic terms, I would have taken her out of that dungeon to come live with me, and also bring siblings along. I'm really pained as I type. Tears.. my dad died at age 47.
➜I wish u guys can beg my mum not to remarry please. What's the difference between me and someone from a Broken background? Life is not fair to me and my siblings. Not fair at all. I know how I'm feeling right now. Let me make it clear at this point that if her plans of remarrying goes through, I will dis-mother her. I'll cut all ties and destroy every bond that ever existed between herself and us the children.

William Folorunsho Kumuyi remarried about a year after his first wife's demise. So, why do you describe your mother's plan to remarry, 6 years after your father had been lost, as selfish and egotistical?

2. Is your mother responsible for this tradition that keeps her from taking your siblings to her new husband's house or something? Is switching the last names of your siblings more evil than abandoning them because of your tradition?

3. Shouldn't you be heading straight to your traditional chief with these questions to ask why, and maybe even ask for a way out of the pact— assuming simply disavowing such silly traditions is not enough— altogether so you can be with your mother wherever she goes?

4. Your dad is dead, but you want your mum caged with the dead man for life, why?

5. Ah, I see! So, rather than disavow the silly traditional ideas which seem to be behind your many anxieties, you would rather cut ties with your own mother. Na wa oh! 🙄🙄🙄

NSPPD seems to be where many of these politicians dey go now. 😂😂😂😂😂

Exceed15:
Poverty na bad thing

Really? Your president came to reduce the purchasing power of the masses plunging 10s of millions below the poverty line though. And the country is only in the second year of his scheme with no end in sight still.

SeeWahala:
Hm, those westerners are wasting their money too much haven't they heard of the Nigerian South West?

You think the entire ritual/kidnapping craze in Nigeria is not about the same illegal harvesting of organs for sale? Your very own President , along with Minister of Health celebrated the success of 13 Kidney transplants in Nigeria for Western clients not too long ago, and I can bet you those Nigerians--- whether in the North, South West, South South or South East ---who sold off their kidneys off are not wallowing in luxury.

If care is not taken, heart transplants from live sellers will not be far off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcTGRjVLo9w?si=FzMzvQfe1O_7ATf3

It's an industry that preys on Africa's poor: a trade that turns human organs into commodities. So-called transplant tourism sees wealthy foreigners who are in dire need of a new kidney travel from across the world to western Kenya - where local men are persuaded to sell theirs for less than two thousand pounds.

Our Africa Correspondent Jamal Osman has been to the city of Eldoret, now a global hub for the organ trade to see its impact first-hand, and challenge those responsible.

mrvitalis:
90% of religious leaders in Nigeria have mental problem... It's to easy to observe

. They don't have mental problems. They are instead scammers who exploit the mentally vulnerable for their own benefit.

A hard-luck story that ended well
After a life burdened by misfortune, author finds encouraging words of comfort, Wang Ru reports.
By Wang Ru | China Daily | Updated: 2022-05-07 00:00

Bad luck always seemed to shadow Yang Benfen. Until that is, when she suddenly, and deservedly, became popular as a writer at 80. This was a turn of events she just could not believe.

The second of six children from a poor family in Hunan province, she was born in 1940, and did menial jobs in childhood. When she finally managed to get a chance to go to school as a teenager, the school closed down just several months before her graduation. If she had been recruited by an automobile transportation company in Tonggu county, Jiangxi province, a few days earlier, she could have become a regular employee, but she ended up doing casual work until retirement.

The change happened more than two decades ago, when Yang resigned. She went to Nanjing, Jiangsu province, where her daughter Zhang Hong lived, to help take care of her young granddaughter.

One day, she read an article written by Zheng Shiping, in which he emotionally recalled his late mother. Yang was deeply moved. Her mother Liang Qiufang had passed away several years before, and she missed her very much. It occurred to Yang to write something about Liang.

"I realized if no one puts my mother's stories down, traces of her will eventually disappear from the world," says Yang.

The calling to write was so strong that she decided to act on it straight away. Between doing household chores, she wrote diligently in the 4-square-meter kitchen.

"When I was waiting for the soup to boil, I sat down and quickly wrote something on a piece of paper with just the booming noise of the smoke exhaust ventilator to keep me company," said Yang in the preface of her first book Qiuyuan, which tells the story of Liang.

Born into a doctor's family in Henan province in 1914, Liang saw her family fortune decline after the death of her two sisters-in-law and father at 12. At 18, she was married to an army officer surnamed Yang, who is Yang Benfen's father, and went to his hometown in rural Hunan province.

Due to turbulence of the times, her father lost his position, was cheated by his relatives, lost properties, and also made a series of wrong decisions. As a result, the family of eight people struggled to live. Since he suffered from bad health, and died in the middle age, the heavy load was put on the shoulder of Liang, who had a pair of "lotus feet", due to the former custom of foot-binding.

The ancient Chinese say the three biggest misfortunes in one's life are losing your father at a young age, a spouse at a middle age, and children at an old age. Liang, unfortunately, experienced all of them. Although she worked hard to support the family by teaching and sewing clothes for others, the family just managed to survive. Ill fortune seemed to follow her and she had to endure the heartbreak of the deaths of her three children, one after another.

Yang Benfen used the name Qiuyuan in the book to refer to Liang, and told her story in the namesake novel. After finishing the first draft, her handwritten manuscripts weighed about four kilograms.

"My mother used to tell her stories to us often, and I was very curious about them. Every time she told me her stories, I formed clear pictures in my mind. When I started writing, I was trying to interpret the pictures into words," says Yang.

"It's very strange that with my age increasing, my memory is getting bad and I often forget what happened a few days ago. But the early memories are still so clear that they seem like being engraved into my heart. I will never forget them," she adds.

Zhang found her mother's writing touching, and pasted it on the online forum Tianya in 2009. To Yang's surprise, many people admired her writing, sympathized with her, and encouraged her. Moved by the goodwill of strangers, she bought a computer, and learned to type so that she could reply the comments.

In 2019, Yang's writing was recommended to Tu Zhigang, editor-in-chief of publisher Pan Press. He was surprised by the "vitality" in the book and decided to publish it.

"The book offers the perspective of an ordinary Chinese woman reflecting on history. Yang has her own style in telling stories, which makes them very vivid," says Xin Ningning, the book editor.

Qiuyuan was published in 2020. In the preface of the book, Yang emotionally wrote "Qiuyuan has come to the world. She once struggled, and experienced both desperation as well as great joy. Today, her 80-year-old daughter tells the story of this ordinary woman to the world".

After its publication, Yang sent three copies to her hometown in Hunan, and entrusted her relatives there to burn them in front of the tombs of her parents and elder brother as an act of commemoration.

Writing, for Yang, is a painful process as she reexamines the lives of her family members, especially the hardships they have gone through. That made her further realize and appreciate how great her mother was.

"As I described in Qiuyuan, after my father's death, my family was very poor. I was a teenager and could have helped my mother a lot to earn money and take care of my younger brothers, but my mother insisted on making me go to school and shouldered all the responsibilities herself," says Yang.

"I didn't realize how incredible this decision was until writing this book. I feel so regretful that I didn't ask her why she was so resolute," she sighs.

But Yang never completed her education, and regrets it to this day. Since the secondary vocational school she was admitted to closed down before her graduation, she then migrated to Yichun, Jiangxi province, to work, where she met her future husband. She got married and the husband promised to fund her return to education, but after the births of her three children, she never had a chance to realize her dream.

As a result, Yang highlighted the importance of education to her children. They were all admitted to universities, which was rare in the 1980s.

She continues to write. In 2021 her second book Fumu (Floating Wood), about stories of other villagers Yang met in childhood was published and in February the third one, Wobenfenfang (I was fragrant) about Yang's own unhappy marriage, was also published. The three books have achieved 8.9, 8.4 and 8.1 points out of 10 on China's popular review site Douban. Their circulation, in total, has reached 250,000 copies, according to Xin.

"I wrote about my mother, about how our family struggled to live just like a floating piece of wood, and the lives and deaths of villagers who once lived in Central China. If the stories of ordinary people are not put down, they will surely be buried forever," says Yang.

"Many people say the books strike a chord for them, making them think of their own family members. As a matter of fact, we didn't expect them to have such an influence before publishing," says Xin.

Qiuyuan and Wobenfenfang are set to be published in Korean.

"In the first 60 years of her life, my mother was an ideal example of being a good wife and mother who always gave priority to the family," said Zhang to Shenzhen Special Zone Daily. "But since she started writing after 60, she suddenly became a popular writer. We marveled at that."

Yang writes on an iPad now. But due to a failed surgery several years ago, she suffers from frequent knee pain and doesn't often sit in front of a desk. Sometimes she just writes lying on the bed.

"It's my luck to live long enough to see my books come out. But it would be better if I was 10 years younger," she says.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK5ncx8oW3c?si=LNJF6Tz7k5EGI3Nv

Amwitty:
➜The only way by which we can be completely free from sin is by considering ourselves dead to sin that is how we have victory over sin. Remember you can't help yourself its the spirit of God in you that keeps you from falling not by your own strength.

No be the same spirit of gods wey dey inside of of una same pastors, priests, popes, bishops, apostles, and members who have thus far been caught in either one sexually explicit position or another? 😂😂😂😂😂