₦airaland Forum

Hellisreal70:
The woman can not be called a wife, she is just a neighbor to the man. But this time a bad neighbor.

...

Bullet4thiefnub:
She is not in the marriage and am out

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Lamasta:
The two shall become one after marriage, I see no reason why the wife will go ahead and buy a property without first seeking the advice and consent of the husband

...

Mitsurugi:
➜I don't blame the guy. She'll use the ownership as a weapon in every fight and worse, tomorrow she fit vex tell the guy to move out.

What you all are saying is that if the wife had simply pocketed the money — maybe stored it away in her bank account —and not purchased any property with it, you all would have been fine, right?

SmartyPants:
✓ The Courts of Law.

The courts of what laws?

NothingDoMe:
American and UK courts. Definitely not Nigeria. 🤣

What the ..😂😂😂😂😂😂

SmartyPants:
✓ You know fully well that there's no such thing as a property bought in a man's name. The Courts will split it in half without thinking twice

Which courts?

Expanse2020:
Ask Google that one

You don't have answer for the earlier absurd claim you made?

Spectrix:
➜ To be honest thanks for calling it out I didn’t see it as that as first but now it has become clear that I need to get myself together i thought I did. I thought I had kept my esteem and confidence but I guess some were in between trying to be respectful and humble. It’s hard. I perceive you’re a guy and I want your perspective. Something more has happened recently and I feel uncomfortable sharing here I know you don’t want to be bothered but would you please consider. I really need advice from your perspective.

Lowering oneself to accommodate a bully is not the same as being respectful or being humble. Such behavior is only found among those who are being subdued or repressed in a relationship.
The moment you ceased to be a child and a slave, and began dealing with other adults and peers, those words should have taken on other meanings other than the one you seem to continue to live under. Your life partner is not your father or your mother, so you would choose to use the word humble to regard your behavior toward him or her.

Sure, feel free to post, ask whatever you want, and I should be able to post, not a gender-specific perspective since I don't base anything on my gender or that of any other, but on the reality of life and living as it should be for all humans regardless of their gender classification. We are currently in the year 2025 (or 12025 according to others), and humans have come far enough to understand that what works for the goose should equally work for the gander, or it should be tossed in an incinerator somewhere.

Below is a checklist to help you get started in probably understanding whether you are really OK or not. Do check it out if you have time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61jbsio1vhM?si=I8crgnUBjJvWvz99

Expanse2020:
✓ Ogbeni oni igbe lohun go see down somewhere and stop asking jamb questions...
You too can use Jesus third grant pregnant to the females in your village

I asked a clear question.How do you determine which content is 100% true and which is not?

Jiblocrestive:
➜Thanks for advice Am not sure she feel any remorseful about what she done.. she kept denying
It's been happening since last year she pleading asking me to forgive her whenever it's happen But now am beginning to get fed up and have told her parents I will send her packing when next I hear that she steal whether guilty or guilty I will3-3zwill3-3z3 divorce her.3z3

Well, since you already reported her and threatened her with divorce, there isn't much left to say to you then. Anyways, do let the woman know that she can get mental health therapy for what ails her if she really wishes to drill down to the reason for the problem, and maybe gain understanding of it for herself. Kleptomania can happen to both kids and adults alike.

Expanse2020:
➜Why should I argue with content that that not 100% true...

How do you determine which content is 100% true and which is not?

Jiblocrestive:
➜She has been doing it before. This is her third time I always thought they have been lying against her until today. Am beginning to feel embarrassed that's why I have to tell her parents maybe she will stop if they caution her

Is your wife a child that you feel you need to tell her parents about? You are embarrassed by her behavior, and the first thought is to report her to her parents as though you are dealing with a child. why?

Other than these incidents, how is the general health of your marriage?

Jiblocrestive:
➜Thanks for the advice.

Do not call her parents into this in an attempt to shame your wife. If things were turned around, would you accept her reporting you to your parents in that situation?

Expanse2020:
So you believe that Jesus use the third leg of pa oyedepo
to give pregnancy 😁😁🤣🤣🤣🤣

What makes you think your deity is not categorized as an idol by others?

Again, Japanese gods Izunami and Izunagi produced sons and daughters merely by sneezing, farting,etc.. So argue that.

Expanse2020:
✓ Wetin concerned me with the idols God Abi you self know say na the same category you de

What makes you think your deity is not categorized as an idol to others?

Again,Japanese gods Izunami and Izunagi produced sons and daughters merely by sneezing, farting,etc.. So argue that.

Jiblocrestive:
✓ Dear reasonable people on Nairaland, please I need your adviseMy wife keep disgracing and embarrassing me every time even though I gave her 5k daily to cook and take care of our little baby
Sometimes, she took money from wallet and denied whenever I ask her but I always let go.
This morning, after she came back buying foodstuff to cook she went outside to buy some stuffs outside only too hear that she stole biscuits and sweets without paying.
Someone that I gave 10k for foodstuff stealing biscuits I was so shocked and speechless but this not the first time cos I always thought she would change after pleading and begging. But now I no choice to call her parents and tell them cos am fed up.
Am always an easy going person in the neighborhood now I can't walk freely without pointing finger at me
Pls I need your advice

You always thought she would change but even when you saw that not happening, you conveniently continued to hold on to that delusion instead of seeking ways to help her overcome the problem.🤔

Your wife is probably struggling with kleptomania, and yes, it is a real problem even if you don't want to believe that mental illness is a real thing. You should probably both talk of getting professional mental health counseling for the condition and putting her on prescribed treatment immediately.

lawani:
✓ But where are the millions of spiritualities?. In Yoruba land here containing over 70 million people in Nigeria of the over 8 billion on Earth, we have only one traditional spirituality which is our isese, outside that, it remains the religions.
✓ I indeed support all traditional spiritualities because they don't proselytize. I am surprised you are debating that since it should be obvious from my posts. I am against religion ie Christianity and Islam.

Earlier your scope was the whole Earth but now you shift to Yoruba land. ,😂😂😂😂😂

You may have one ritual you call isese but that one ritual is applied so many different ways like you have with denominations in the other major religions out there. Yes, on the outside we are told it is all to the same deity but when you drill down to the details, you realize it may just be the same name but different entities. 🤔

Storyland!🥱

njelrapheal:
✓ but you didnt attempt to focus on the main event which is that of jude 9

What main event?

There is no Jude 9. There is only one chapter in the book of Jude and to understand what the man intended in that text, one first needs grasp the events referenced. The questions I asked in my previous post where to clear the air ok the claims made by the OP and those contained in the texts he referenced without carefully reading himself.

lawani:
✓ There are over seven thousand traditional spiritualities on Earth corresponding to languages.
✓ I support all of them. I don't want any to be extinguished and I want them to be open to scrutiny. You are wrong to say I support only my spirituality. I support all but I am against religion. I am against Christianity and Islam. Get me right

You lied! There are not just over 7000 thousand spiritualities on the planet. The number for those is probably in the millions. Concluding that because that there are just over 7000 languages implies there should also exist the same number of Spiritualities is your ignorant mind deluding you into thinking everyone is as gullible as those in your immediate surroundings.

2. Yet another lie from you. You only support that which conveniently aligns with your particular delusion, same as other religionists are notorious for.

Expanse2020:
...

Japanese gods Izunami and Izunagi produced sons and daughters merely by sneezing, farting,etc.. So argue that.

Spectrix:
➜Thanks for your feedback. I have actually tried to read the book 3years back. Cutting weight hasn’t been easy I was able to loose during my first 73kg I’m 5’7 so it was slim for my structure then but now I’m almost 80 and it’s been yo-yoing. On the outside I think people would think me sexy and very sexually active(because of the way I’ve always dressed) if they only knew.
➜I might check YouTube again but I don’t know how to keep my emotions in check

One major reason people struggle to lose weight is that they are mentally troubled. Yes, if you are struggling with low self-esteem or are self-conscious, research has shown that you will struggle to lose weight. Your mind is where it should all begin.

2. It is very important to work on your emotional intelligence, i.e., controlling your own emotions, as well as your social intelligence, i.e., intelligently handling your interactions and reactions to outside stimuli(people included). I believe when you begin working on this, you will find the reason you need to discipline yourself to lose whatever weight you truly need to lose, when the motivation you need comes from a healthy mind, it is sustainable.

CrownedPhoenix:
➜By all means, allow people their opinions.
➜ At the very least, you can ask them to explain their perspectives to understand better before you counter.
➜ You exclaimed 'nonsense!', went ahead to give an opinion that is way off the intended initially made.
➜Tell me, you expect that nonsense you wrote up there as an opinion is right? I allow you have yours. But don't t quote me again. I no get energy.

1. Your opinion was not based on facts, giving me no choice but to reveal this.

2. Explain why a false statement is not a false statement?

3. I gave an opinion that is instead backed with evidence. It is not the person or man but the experience that mostly lingers beyond the experience. And this we are talking the feelings attached to the experience. https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/05/27/a-psychologist-explains-the-long-term-effects-of-your-first-sexual-experience/

4. **Yawn**

CrownedPhoenix:
➜ The man with whom a woman has her first experience matters.

Nonsense! 🙄🙄🙄

Many women out there— same as many men by the way — don't even remember, or care, who their first was, and they have healthier self-esteem than most women who are married to the one they had their first experience with.

Spectrix:
➜ Lols all the things I knew, trust me I thought I knew but reality knocked me. He doesn’t believe in seeing anyone outside the marriage and I can’t force him to I wouldn’t be able to complain to any other person so he doesn’t feel disrespected.
➜ Our communication is for sheets because we just go in cycles. He sees me trying to gain his empathy and understand my pov as me being manipulative and I feel attacked whenever he tries to explain his pov. So I just resort to apologizing and the cycle just repeats again.
➜ I’ve tried suggesting texting when we are in the heat of it but when we are in the heat of it he’s like Bleep everything.
I’m starting to accept he doesn’t like me as much as I thought he did or maybe he’s bored given that we dated for almost a decade.

This is all the more reason why you need to focus your attention more on loving and accepting yourself despite all that negativity coming from your marriage partner. I mean, this sounds a lot like you are being gaslighted by your spouse.

Watching porn is not the answer here. You need to work on yourself — your self-esteem and confidence levels. You need to prepare yourself at this point. You sound like your self-esteem is in the gutters, and that is not a place for anyone to be, not even a wife.

3. If he does not want to seek professional marriage counseling, that should not stop you from getting yourself the mental health therapy that you need.

You have two kids. They ought to be more than enough reason why you, their mother, should work to heal your mental and self-esteem soonest.

Spectrix:
➜Having a husband has a way of making one self conscious especially when you’re dedicated to trying to make it work.
➜ I could browse on the books that I would some how fetch self esteem or confidence but pardon my skepticism. I appreciate you taking out your time to help though and even if I might feel defensive about some of it there’s truth. I’ll try harder.
➜ I don’t remember what I posted earlier but if I’m being honest my husband told me plainly. [b]I’ve only ever had sex with him and it doesn’t help that I stayed in Abuja and he was down south. I’ve been a little frigid but I’ve always enjoyed the idea of sex and looked forward to lots of it when I got married
➜ but now I’m always initiating it I’ve never rejected him before and even though he has health reasons as excuse I also think it’s because I’m not great at it. So I told him that and he told me plainly that instead of complaining I should learn and I was trying to use the sex worker argument and he just went cold like I was being defensive.
➜ So coming here is my other attempt knowing how self conscious and emotional I am it’s a lot. Sorry I’m pouring on you now lols but I’ll just stop here.

1. Maybe it is time to switch your focus entirely from trying to make it work to healing you and making turning you into the best of you that you can be. Someone once said, "Love thy neighbor as you love yourself." Well, you can't love your neighbor or your husband for that matter if you don't first love yourself. Another person also said, "No one can love you if you don't first love yourself." This is a good reason why you must deal with that self-consciousness issue that is eating away at you there if you intend to eventually regain your ability to love and be loved. You start by honestly admitting to yourself that there is a problem and a solution is required.

2. You don't get rid of the issue of self-consciousness by reading a book. Rather, you get rid of it by honestly absorbing whatever intelligence you can find, carefully and consistently applying it to your life and thinking until you obtain the results you desire. You need to work on yourself, and these exercises take time. Since you work remotely, what better way than to work on your self-esteem while working on your 9-to-5?

I mean, I could suggest you go set up an appointment with a professional mental health counselor and have you sit through weeks of therapy sessions to help get you to where you are attempting to get to. That is also a good approach to dealing with the issue. But I figure that since you work remotely, meaning you are online, you could probably get yourself the therapy you need by leveling up online content to help you through the process on your own — a self-guided therapy that you could work on without leaving your seat.

3. That's unfortunate! You should know that there are lots of women in your shoes, OK. So don't you think you are the problem? Women who didn't date much before marriage tend to struggle with feeling adequate in the bedroom, particularly if they are married to husbands who have more bedroom mileage than they do. If your husband were just as inexperienced as you, he would probably think you were the best thing in the bedroom. But the way forward, as I said before, is to work a lot harder on your self-confidence. The more confident you are with your body and sexuality, the less frigid you become with the one your heart loves.

4. Sounds like some of that self-consciousness comes from some of what your husband may have been saying to you. Do you think you may be struggling with depression? Yes, depression is a real thing, and one of its symptoms, among many others, is low self-esteem. If you feel you may be struggling with depression, you should probably see your doctor to be on the safe side.

5. Sex is all about self-confidence. It is not about being "great at it" as you may like to think, instead. As I tried to explain in my previous post, the only people who are probably great at sex are sex workers, or sex slaves — people who have received formal training on how to please clients and earn lots of money doing it. Otherwise, every other person out there is just so-so in bed. Yes, even those who train the sex workers on how to please customers are themselves not so great at it either. I suggest you trash that notion that you are not great at sex. That is just your mind playing tricks on you due to your self-consciousness.

Also, as someone already suggested, you and your husband may want to consider some couples therapy. When one spouse continually rejects the other in the bedroom, it does take a toll on that other's self-esteem. And sometimes the problem may not be entirely a bedroom issue at all, but problems in other areas of the marriage flowing over to the bedroom.

Domainer1999:
➜I believe those that had been oppressed in the world should get compensated while those that had transgressed on others should get punished.

⚉Where does this guarantee of an afterlife for humans come from? Do animals and plants have an afterlife too?
⚉Why a reward/punishment in another life and not in this life? What is the purpose of this supposed compensation/punishment after life, and not in the life in which their suffering/transgression took place?

I guess what is the benefit or value of this afterlife reward system to the dead and gone?

okoIYAyin:
➜Absolutely right! It’s so refreshing to finally meet someone who shares my perspective on this topic. Would love to be friends!

Exactly, how does the existence of an afterlife...

Domainer1999:
➜The only excuse I give for its reality is ‘afterlife’ I believe if someone truly creates this world then, there should be afterlife to balance the injustices and oppression of this world.

... provide this balance for injustices and oppression of this world?

riceqey:
➜pls u didn't understand me very well I see

How so?

riceqey:
➜do not too underrate de country u live in, I have seen okada man, after a heavy rain fall, fell into a deep constructing gutter by okezie ikpeazu, people helped to rescue him, even brought ladder, called submarine people who came and tried to rescue him alive,
➜but unfortunately, he had died , also, I have seen a man who went to collect his last property in a four story building that was gradually sinking, when he was under de stairs , de house sank remaining de roof outside, de man sank with de house, he was safe there making calls for help because he was dying of heat, there was a lot of help from morning till evening, even de next day, bulldozer bulldozing it, but couldn't reach that ground level till when he had stopped picking his calls

Was this not your post?

seyi360:
IFAISM Remains A DIVINE ORDINANCE
Predicated On TRUTH, KARMA and REINCARNATION Hence, A Way To Life Dynamics Of IFAISM Transcends The Imaginary Rhetorics of The 3 Abrahamic Faiths Our Forefathers Acknowledged EDUMARE , Referenced As YAHWEH Our Lands Once Flourished ORUNMILA , EDUMARE'S Emissary Modelled Transparency , Truth and Hardwork CHRISTIANITY , EUROPE'S Version Of IFAISM Imposed The Jewish YESHUA As YAHWEH'S ONLY Begotten SON A FALLACY Furthermore, Proponents Of CHRISTIANITY Berate Other Faiths

List just 3 of those such universal truths make we read sef.

Let me guess, you are not able to list even 3 universal truths?> 😩😩😩😩

Expanse2020:
➜Yahweh and Jesus. Which one is the real God
➜ Abi, which one baba use his third leg perform miracle 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

According to the Israelite books of the Bible, both of them are God, with YHWH being a greater God— the God of gods— than Jesus Christ of Israel. Zeus of the Grecians, along with his many sons and daughters, is equally considered a god, but I don't see you arguing that one. How come?

2. Your baba's miracle where probably granted by the same one that granted miracles to Mohammed.

Expanse2020:
➜Abeg which one is the real God among the two... The former or the later....
➜I want to know which oyedepo use his miracle through the third legs🤣🤣

Among which two?

2. Probably the same source of Mohammed's claims.

seyi360:
➜Universal Truths Viz a Viz DIVINE Doctrines Depicts IFAISM

List just 3 of those such universal truths make we read sef.

Expanse2020:
No be th little little remenance of Jesus miracle baba de perform🤣🤣🤣 with his leg

You mean like the miracles attributed to Mohammed too? No, Oyedeopo, like Mohammed, is not an Israelite and hence unqualified to have any direct connections or indirect ones to the man called Jesus Christ of Israel or YHWH, God of Israel.

seyi360:
➜Psychiatric Ward befits Doctrinal Midgets Is ... one?

The same doctrinal bullsheet spewed by the adherents of the religion of Christianity, which you abhor, right? You people are never able to see what is eating at you all. 😂😂😂😂