₦airaland Forum

ModestManager:
➜IF YOU COMMIT SUICIDE, YOU WILL IMMEDIATELY LAND IN HELL FIRE FOREVER-NO ESCAPE!!!
Jesus Christ wants to help you, but you think you can help yourself...see now! GIVE YOUR LIFE TO HIM NOW! Read the Holy Bible DAILY!
DOn't listen to demons telling you to 'end it all',,,they lie everytime, rather they should say 'start it all'. Start what 'punishment in hell fire'....I like your resilience, and 1 great thing you've done is YOU CAME ONLINE TO LOOK FOR HELP......Go to God and He will help you out!
Attend a BIBLE church like Deeper Life Church, Foursquare, assemblies of God, and few similar ones....Churches where they worship images and idols can NEVER help you...I won't mention names, but you know them, white garment churches can never help you, ONLY JESUS CAN HELP.........Ask Him today. Those your neighbours will disappear suddenly and start minding their business, your husband will suddenly realize how badly he's been treating you, etc!
God bless you for reaching out! Remember what I said first. Somebody loves you here. Cheers sister!

Stop lying to hell! She is a Nigerian, not an Israelite and she would land in a Hell prescribed only for Israelites. Nonsense!

MASTAkiLLAh:
➜quietly go to the nearest police station and lodge a report against your neighbors and they'll handle everything from there. As for your husband, he will never suddenly become hardworking or responsible. You either drag him to welfare office in your local government for them to settle the matter or convert him to a house husband with monthly salary of 50k or go your separate ways. He should remember, time is also going for him and he has to plan for retirement and if he won't at least, he shouldn't drag you back.
That's if your story isn't made up sha because most Nairaland stories are fictional

How do you convert a man who has, after many years of marriage, not realized he needs to contribute, to a househusband? You wan make them end up like the policeman and his wife story wey we read yesterday for crime section?

ADAMUdaCOWBOY:
➜So people will look at you and complain that you have lost weight since you got married? Which kind of zero emotional intelligence people are those?

Have you never been around Nigerians before? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

nnamdi640:
➜It may not make sense to you now because no one knows what the future holds, but in a few years, you will realize that speaking English alone won’t secure high-paying jobs. It’s time we take action.
Currently, China and India are dominating the global economy. In the UK, the number of wealthy Indians now surpasses that of the native population. The reason is simple—many Indians are tech-oriented. Soon, they will dominate our economy, and while we focus on speaking good English, they will be the ones in control.

Yet the very same China and India are profusely training their children in schools where English is taught as a second language even as we speak?

Yet you wonder why I think you are not making any sense?

GUNITGuy:
➜Find a way of staying it will pay off .... Don't divorce you would reap it .....
➜Your children would be blessed with... As long as it's not affecting your children...
➜ Don't listen to feminist theory....So many women are facing worse than you think but will make you feel they are better than you after divorce or without a husband...
➜It's not rosy out there, live social media hype of a happy life ...it's not always as smooth as we think

What is the guarantee of this claim of yours?

2. Children living with a father who uses incompetence as a weapon against their own mother would not be affected. Yikes!

3. Telling OP to think of herself first in the relationship is feminist but advising a woman to continue to carry the burden that is a husband who does not seem to appreciate her is a better option. WOW!

4. It is not rosy out there hence OP should continue to suffer depression and anxiety inside of marriage rather than seek help outside of marriage. WOW!!

dominique:
➜I pray God preserves her health to enjoy the rewards of her hard work. So many women in her shoes but very few live long enough to enjoy the proceeds of their sacrifice

Define enjoy in this case? Maybe compare the enjoyment of, say, a woman who never put herself in such a terrible situation — none of the useless sacrificing— to the enjoyment you pretend those of them who live long enough — after all of their supposed sacrificing?

I keep reading that there is some sort of enjoyment for women after all that torturous existence but I find it hard to see it as such.

WantsandMore:
➜I honestly don’t know; maybe it’s pragmatism.
➜In practice, we act as if we have free will because it’s what makes sense in our daily lives, even if the theoretical debate remains unresolved. 🤷🏾‍♂️

1. What has pragmatism to do with any of this?

2. I don't follow! What unresolved theoretical debate? Are you not able to mentally realize that your behavior is driven by your thoughts or what?

TechBaron:
You're talking about juju and at the same time making references to the Bible. Quite confusing!

The fact that he claimed it was possible to be predestined — preprogrammed — while at the same time being capable of operating freely as one without a programming — unprogrammed—, an obvious contradiction, did not hint you at the level of his confusion?

Ruke1989:
➜I know men and women who are useless physically and mentally like the men you guys are describing. I am beginning to think it's aental health issue and the society needs to segregate irresponsible people so that they don't keep sleeping with responsible people and spreading the gene of irresponsibility

It is not a mental illness at all. Rather it is instead referred to as weaponized incompetence. There are literally people out there whose goal in life is to leech/take advantage of those around them as much as they can. They choose a partner whom they are not necessarily attracted to but have computed they live with putting in the least amount of effort.

Ojemedad:
➜I don’t support weak and lazy men, a man is supposed to take care of responsibilities. My elder sister got married to a lazy man like this also. Until your sister is in such a situation you will not see anything wrong in it. My sister takes care of 95% of the house responsibilities, she recently completed her house this shameful man still moved in with her even though there are many work to be done in the house also . Men should be men.

WOW... the man is probably waiting to claim it all for himself.

tctrills:
➜Yes I would. I don't make hasty decisions. And I know many who divorced and became more depressed. I wouldn't want that for my daughter.

OP is not divorced yet she is lonely and depressed in marriage. So, what the f0--ck is with the inane attempt to link depression to divorce? Nonsense!

essyiyk:
➜My dear sister you don try, please take care of yourself. i have similar experience i don't even have up to your resources but i quickly advised myself and Oga read the handwriting on the wall clearly, the only thing you hear him say is but this is not the person I married but i no send no quarrel no fight but unnecessary wastage na lie. Part of the decision i took is any contract i handle the finances myself. one of my experiences was that i got a loan of 600k plus interest total of 750k budgeted for mini bus in 2020 but he never bring the bus nor the money but i cannot explain such to bank so I have to pay

WOW...This is like being married to your own personal scammer abeg! 😩😩😩😩

essyiyk:
➜But the man in question is set back personified abeg,

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

tctrills:
➜Do you think things will get better when you leave him? I honestly don't know.

Oh yes! Having a grown-arsed man as a dependent simply for the purpose of his dick is the only way for her to have a good life... WOW. If she were your daughter, would you ask her the same inane question? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

oweniwe:
➜Women are funny. Men do all these for years upon years happily without compliants Woman try am once, see as complain full ground

Men carry the financial burden as well as the house issues — cooking, cleaning, the raising of kids? Some of you are just born liars!

SouthAmericalif:
➜we have mid year for our rent to expire, i told him the money we have at hand that by weekend he should split it and give me part so we can fend for each other separately i will get a room self contained and start living there if he is willing to reconcile na that small we go stay until he wakes up,
➜i feel it’s a loveless marriage

Reconcile what? According to you, the man has been a waste of your youth and your hard-earned money up until now— He does not bring anything to the table. So what would he be reconciling then?

2. A loveless marriage but you are willing to reconcile what exactly?

deavicky:
introduce him to ur business and monitor him.

After clearly confirming his incompetence, your advice is for her to, this time, risk her business by placing it in his hands.

WantsandMore:
➜what do you mean?

Are you insinuating that you are unaware that a thing cannot be simultaneously pre-programmed—pre-destined— and unprogrammed—operating on its own will?

uuzba:
➜Nigeria has 500 languages. How many books do you want us to write?

Excellent question!

nnamdi640:
Lol, waste of time, even the country that owned that language are facing economic crisis tackless of third world trying to force their selves in speaking such language. Technology is now the key because with technology nobody want to know how bad your English is, beside, I know many that can speak good English yet can't feed themselves properly.

This makes no sense!

nnamdi640:
Technology is what they should embrace because that is the future. Speaking English like the owners won't put food on your table.

You get money to buy them this technology then? Great/Eff active communication skills are assets that even technology cannot give anyone for free.

Samakus:
Guys, make sure your woman is not a social media freak.
A hypothesis but one that is very interesting...
The rarier she posts online, the bigger chances she's wifely

Make sure she is not a social media freak so she does not reveal the foolishness of your marriage to others?

francisbarrack:
Get engaged with work n be more closer to your God but dont go n b seeing one pastor. Take it as ur challenges. May God see you through.

Why? For what purpose? Which God ?

correctyourself:
✓ The whole story is sad and things are not supposed to go this way, however, i have a strong feeling that, if the husband narrate his own side of this issue the whole narrative would change, becuase no woman that coorperate with her husband, the family would experience what both of them is going through.
✓ For your in-law to asked her to leave, its a sign of so many cases involving her (frequently reporting matters to inlaws) in other words they are tired of her reporting matters always. I am not judging her, but its just my thought.

Nonsense! 😒

2. You aren't judging yet that's exactly what you blindly did? Make up your mind before you comment next time. 🙄🙄🙄

yaseer111:
hhh okayyy, well if na me I wont leave,I will continue

Tufiakwa!

Greatechng:
➜Okay you use your anus why should these young ones here speak with British accent?

Are you suffering from a lack of comprehension skills or something?

It is by English since many of them will need to later JAPA to other countries to find themselves a decent life.

Please, engage that noggin! It is not meant for decoration.

yaseer111:
✓ I am talking about this particular op's story, I am talking about the lady that quoted with similar story said she married her husband because he's handsome 6 feet tall with six pack

That's the same poster I was referring to. She has obviously realized that the sex was not worth her life being the pile of trash it was while married to the man. That is why she complained and chose to count her teeth. 🫤

yaseer111:
nothing like throw life in the trash pile. At least she's doing well what's wrong here if she continue to shoulder the responsibility since she's enjoying his sexx

Are you mentally disconnected or what? Did you read any of what the poster typed?

delpee:
1. Not so easy for the illiterate and semi literate people.
2. You're right. I remember that we had something fairly similar in my younger years (as I modified above in my post), but it didn't impact so heavily on the student's accents.

1. Do the opinions of people who made such choices matter in most things in Nigeria?

2. Learning to speak in an accent that is more easily understandable is a step in the right direction for students in Nigeria; once they JAPA, they will mostly be forced to consider doing that anyway. After hearing your peers go, "huh," several times when you speak, nobody go tell you say you need to switch up your accent.

Honeydenz:
➜Same thing is happening to me already My man come like women join, he doesn't have money to pay rent, but he has money to give to side chicks. No money to pay an only child school fees (where some people have 5kids) but there's money for constant beer 🍺, no money to cook, but there's money to play betting. An early grave is what such women will experience if they don't wise up, in my case I was captivated by his handsomeness and six pack, a guy that's over six feet tall but so lazy. Nobody should overlook reg flags when dating o, it was same when we were dating, I was the one spending on him while still competing with other chicks for his attention. He would dress up in suits so neighbours would think he has a good job only to leave to play bet from morning till when normal people are returning home in d evening from thier various work. he claims he graduated with an upper degree from the University but he's actually a school dropout, probably used his school fees to play bet. And it was exactly like this when I was dating him. He now claim it's the side women that are spending on him, while he wastes away in betnaija shops and beer parlour, imagine the shamelessness!!!! Good riddance! I took over the role of both man and woman in the marriage until last year when I decided to use my tongue 👅 to count my teeths, if u understand what I mean. Worst is, he thinks he did me a great favour by marrying me, all the time he would say there are enough boyfriends out there but no husband, as if he married me properly, someone that couldn't afford an ordinary introduction. Well, I can't kill myself for a man that will mourn my death for barely two days in his side chick's house.

I hope you finally got your life back from that period of .... you put yourself through in the name of marriage. Marriage is a decent arrangement when both people in it are in as partners. But when one partner decides to carry it all while the other sits loose and free, then what you have isn't marriage but living in bondage

yaseer111:
don't pretend that u didn't miss his sexk

So because of sex you will essentially throw the rest of your life in the trash pile? This is 2025!

Celestialsword:
you can't change what has been predestined, It's has been programmed spiritually and it must manifest physically.

Help me explain the contradiction abeg! Religion is a weapon fashioned against the minds of the masses. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣