₦airaland Forum

Thundafireseun:
Some one should please explain to me what happened

The battered woman's lawyer seems to have gone behind her back to make a deal with her husband, her batterer.

Bullfallo:
What can flush sugar out from the body within 2 days.

Vigorous exercising will burn all that extra energy. Consider running a marathon over the 2 days.

ggood:
ok because I was living in lafia I have not heard it before

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

UjuJoan2:
■ Marriage matter is tricky shaaa, especially in Nigeria. If this woman really wants to leave, she wont be here making this post. How do you explain her still sleeping with him? After he abandoned her in her mother's house? How does even make sense? Some women will take that as an excuse to leave the marriage, I know I would! So in a way I agree with Lily, she doesn't want her marriage to end. But is it out of love? I sincerely doubt that!!!

I don't try to explain why people choose to remain in deplorable or abusive marriages because I see no reason why anyone should choose such a situation for themselves or worse, their children. Looking at the state of the Nation as a whole, it is no surprise why many women would choose to remain in such marriages thinking they better themselves by doing so when the statistics continue to prove otherwise.

I used to struggle greatly with perfectionism myself only the definition I lean towards is different from the one you have above, @OP. 🙂

Perfectionism, in psychology, is a broad personality trait characterized by a person's concern with striving for flawlessness and perfection and is accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations. It is best conceptualized as a multidimensional and multilayered personality characteristic, and initially, some psychologists thought that there were many positive and negative aspects.

Maladaptive perfectionism drives people to be concerned with achieving unattainable ideals or unrealistic goals that often lead to many forms of adjustment problems such as depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, OCPD, and low self-esteem. These adjustment problems often lead to suicidal thoughts and tendencies and influence or invite other psychological, physical, social, and further achievement problems in children, adolescents, and adults. Although perfectionist sights can reduce stress, anxiety, and panic, recent data, compiled by British psychologists Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill, show that perfectionistic tendencies are on the rise among recent generations of young people

Perfectionists strain compulsively and unceasingly toward unattainable goals. They measure their self-worth by productivity and accomplishments to the point that some tendencies even lead to distraction from other areas of life. Perfectionists pressure themselves to achieve unrealistic goals that inevitably lead to disappointment. Perfectionists tend to be harsh critics of themselves, their work, and their failure to meet their own expectations.

In my case, there was no nagging or the sort though I struggled to adapt to reality beginning with the reality of things and life in Nigeria for the longest. 😁

Anyways, because of this, I would not use the term so loosely to describe your grandmother given she instead seems, from your description, to bully or attack others but not living by her standards. She is a nitpicker and even a bully; probably needs to have someone put her in her place every time. 😁

When I saw a house was not forthcoming, I decided to take it upon myself to get a place for us and saved up. I carried his mom and sister along and finally got one once the money was complete.
Hubby refused moving in. This was our seventh year of marriage. We had been living apart all these while.
He insulted me and called me a manipulator. He came and stayed over once a week though and during this time I took in.
When the rent expired, I wanted to renew. I reached out to my uncle cos he had been helping me in this issue. He asked me not to pay without asking my hubby if he would move in this time

MommaD, this question has been nagging at me for a while now so I feel I should ask anyway. Since your current arrangement has you not living with your husband — that's the digest I got from your post—, how do you know the man, I mean your husband, does not equally have a similar arrangement with another woman/baby mama the area as he has with you? Have you investigated this at least?

lilyheaven:
■ Leave me alone this woman.
■ This woman , you are asking to leave her husband, loves her husband. That’s why she has stayed this long, If her husband comes this night and beg her, they will still go back to normal.
■ It’s not me that will ask a married woman to leave her husband. My own is to add sugar not fire. It’s her personal decision.

I don tell you to stop playing ridiculous mind games already! No one asked her to leave her husband as that decision she already made herself!

2. Stop trying so hard to reason like tambolo about these things! That she has stayed this long does not mean she can or should never leave. That idea that she can't is only born of tambolo logic. OP is not begging you to let her leave or something that you would then convince yourself that you get to decide whether she stays or leaves the marriage.

3. When a married person decides to leave, it is not because someone asked but because the person chose of his/her own volition to leave. Again, stop with the tambolo logic! Married people who decide to leave their marriages are not imbeciles but humans with mature ability to make just that kind of decision for even themselves.

lilyheaven:
■ There’s still room for reconciliation.

That is up to you to decide!

lilyheaven:
■ She has never stayed in her marriage.
■ But kobo, when she said yes to this man, he was actually living in his parents house, fast forward to when he was reminded the need for apartment.
■ Don’t you think her father in law is angry that the woman he followed his son to marry has refused to come home.
■ I met a lady with this same issue, though hers is her mother in law always insulting her. In her case, she has given birth to 5 children. Without job or business to hold, she is talking about divorce 😳

She has never stayed in her marriage yet she is seeking legal divorce from this man. 😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

2. So what? She has had a change of mind and decided it is no longer worth it for her to remain tied to such a situation. Why are you having a problem with that or feeling that she should be reminded of her original decision? 🤔

3. Nonsense! Na the father-in-law she marry abi na the man wey she talk say she no wan follow do marriage with she dey married to? 🤔

4. If the lady's husband agreed to marry her without a job or business to her name, wetin be your own business or complaint naw? The man agreed and married her that way so why pretend she is somehow to blame for that now? Why una dey like reason like this for Pete's sake?🤔

UjuJoan2:
■ That’s what I would have done too. I would have moved into the family house and if they do anyhow I give them anyhow. Na them go use their hand return my bride price.
But the poster is not strong enough for that fight, and has indirectly shown them weakness, and they are taking full advantage of that!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Which family house? OP talk say na only one room her husband get for the place, you dey talk family house. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

quinox947:
I guess you are right. My neighbour bought his for 170k in Keffi in the same Nasarawa state

Interesting counter!

zickyclef:
■ Toor u think everywhere has street name, go and give it street name

Every wey dey on map/on the ground can be reached even today by way of streets and roads abeg! Make una stop dey make things up for Pete's sake! 🤔

lilyheaven:
■ With all the badmouths in nairaland, no one ran away. I’m using nairaland as an example ,because, the kind of badmouthing that I read eeh, sometimes it gives goosebumps.
If she lives an upright lifestyle, she doesn’t have to worry about anything any one says about her. We can’t always be in everyone good book.
■ Why are you people encouraging her to leave her marriage? Has marriage become a joke? Do you people know that children are involved,
Do you know what happens with children from broken homes? You don’t have any right to marry a man that you don’t accept his family. The only sin her husband committed, according to what she wrote, is oga going back to his fathers house.

LOL.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣... Would you equally live your very own life or have your son live under such a situation?

2. No need for mental games here! Go back to the OP's post to realize she herself understands her right to leave whenever she wants from any marriage pact/contract. She is not a slave nor does she deserve to have anything less than she desires. She didn't ask you for advice on why she should stay or remain married. She said she is ready to leave so advice that does not respect this decision she has in fact made after 9 years of sitting in what is her own shit comes from a point of disregard for her experience as a human in the marriage!

illicit:
She no like sex ni

Grand pa syndrome!

descarado:
■ Everybody living in abujabor nassarawa knows where the market is located.
As an outsider, ask as soon as you enter abuja or nassarawa and you will see a bus that will take you there

So, no place at all for an outsider simply trying to drive directly there in the year 2024, abi? 🙄

Killerofpigs:
Hmmm....google is your friend..

And here I thought you already have his information and verified this yourself. So, let's get this straight! You claimed Ginger Onwusibe gave farmers in his constituency a Naira 200,000 grant. But pages later, you have yet to provide verifiable evidence of the claim and you don't even have his phone number so we at least pretend you actually called on him and he gave you this information himself. So, you are no different from the other political touts that Nairaland is riddled with, are you?

Killerofpigs:
Can't you call the Lawmaker to verify?

How do I do that? His phone number? Does he have a website or something where we can view all of what in fact transpired? You give me all you have and I can do my best to confirm the claims you made.

Killerofpigs:
Why will I show you... So you will show your law maker to do it also as copycats? As you decided to use the post for Propaganda, just believe that the N200,000 is Propaganda also

I take it you lied then when you claimed Naira 200,000 was given as a grant to the farmers by Ginger Onwusibe? How does that make you any different from the other political touts you pretend you are against?

ufotunang:
...I am coming l...I am busy in the other room for now 🙄

You people are the reason why your politicians take you lot for fools.

abobote:
Between Maraba and one man village

No streets or intersections? At least show us by way of map naw! Abi you wan make person go lost!

Joagbaje:
■ You’re wrong sir. In context jesus was not talking about the church but about the nation of Israel during the tribulation .
■ When they start searching for the true messiah ,many false prophets will rise and say they are the messiah .
■ Where did he say so?

1. Where did you get Jesus Christ telling you that He was speaking instead of the nation of Israel only during the time of the tribulation? I am asking you for actual references from any of the 4 Gospels for this claim that you have made here.

2. Many false prophets already came proclaiming themselves to be the messiah even before Jesus Christ showed up on the scenes. So why in the world do you then conclude that it only applied as far as the tribulation period which began after Jesus Christ's death and came truly into view by 70 AD?

3. Jesus Christ made clear that John, the Baptist, was the last of the Old Covenant prophets sent by the God of Israel. Meaning He, Jesus Christ was not sent by God to teach the Old way but a New way. Then He, Jesus Christ announced that He is the ultimate Prophet, Shepherd, etc. sent by His Father; Jesus Christ lives forever and as such makes a need for another of no meaning - John 10 vs 1 - 18 & Matthew 21 vs 33 - 46. Note the Son was the last one sent by the Father even in the parable.

zickyclef:
Mararaba border between Abuja and nasarawa state

This is vague! No actual street names or something of the sort?

ggood:
Where in nasarawa state do we have orange market

Excellent question! Where is this orange market in fact located?

ufotunang:
This is good... during the harvest season they will harvest a lot of yams, Cassava, maize , tomatoes and other foodstuffs in which they can sell and make a lot of money and income for themselves and also they will also have foodstuffs on their houses which solves the issue of hunger

They will harvest a lot of yams from just 2 yam seeds? are you individuals high or something? Even if we are to imagine the stems and seeds are drought and disease-resistant, what you posit still doesn't make sense at all. Why are you individuals this comatose in your way of reasoning these things?

Khallicopyro:
They are hybrid cassava stems. That 10 stem can you like 10 basins of garri. 1 basin now is 30k

10 stems can equal 10 basins of garri? Are you people for real?

Killerofpigs:
I have already answered your brother.. As regards giving the support grants, it will be based on a 50million grant package.. for lower cader farmers under the senatorial zone. It's better than OKADA sef.. let alone worthless Rice that is a useless palliative.

You claim Ginger Onwusibe gave a support grant of Naira 200,000 to farmers. Where is this information? How can we verify this claim of yours?

bassdow:
Another good honest contribution BUT I doubt Noiler is GMO

Regardless what OP is attempting to do is pretty much create a GMO of his own, isn't he?

adetoyeshe:
This project am embarking on it about developing our local chicken in Nigeria ,the Fulani ecotype by improving its breed with the exotic breeds of broiler and noiler.. cross breeding method.. I will be updating you as I proceed.

You are attempting to create a hybrid chicken aka GMO, no be so?

Killerofpigs:
The cassava stems are the high breed variety, and why aren't you talking about the SME finance package that accompanied each farmer. Is #200k for support child's play? Anyway , The bags of Rice being shared to millions of people in EKITI State by the Governor will be rationed equally as 1citizen/bag of rice abi? After the rice finishes, will he share another one? But The cassava will increase in yield and the farmer can increase his output. You guys love foolish Propaganda and grandstanding instead of telling yourselves the truth.

So, what you are saying is this senator gave all farmers in his constituency Naira 200,000 each, 10 cassava stems, maize seeds, and 2 seed yams? Where is your source?

Inosky:
■ It's a constituency project, brother. These guys don't have shame and human heart. They collect millions and share peanuts to the power and call that empowerment.

if so, then the fools in this case are the constituents who let this nonsense slide as a constituency project. They ought to make sure that not one do these senators pay back all they owe but they and their family members never see office again after such nonsense.

Putindbutt:
This is the height of embarrassment. and after this show of shame, they'd come online to start chestbeating like say dem dey chop belleful.

If this is a personal project of his in celebration of his first year in office, then this is not bad. However, if a constituency project then you are definitely right.

EbinPawaGovt:
Foools in power all over the country.

They are not fools. The fools are those who elected them and refused to keep them in check/hold them to account.