₦airaland Forum

Drivers and passengers are telling you not to retaliate Pls what will you have done when you're very wrong and a trouble maker?

What are you saying self, you want make she shift for you from the window side or what bcs you're a man? You would have politely beg for it, she came first and sat where she want now, or did you pay more than her! Why did people always try to make trouble out of nothing. If you didn't like the position and don't want to beg you would have wait for next loading turn, you get wahalaooooh

Hmm a bad husband looking for a good wife, not even ashamed you don't cook.

You're not careful with your words too, what is about avoid women that is raise by single mothers, is it one that is raise by single father or father and mother that is perfect many of them are nuisance to the society .most things are all about grace

The truth is that marriage doesn't even bring happiness as well as singleness, 98percent are lonely and not happy in marriages but re covering up, so dear the choice is yours you know what you want.

Frankly speaking that no 5 is a no, money is power in every human nature both male and female once one is self sufficient most times attitude changes.

May be she is not comfortable with the relocation issues and not ready for marriage now. Just find out the issue.

Aboki

Yes so far there will be hot tea before service and ,jellof rice,salad and chicken with chilled drink after service.

Let her find something doing first, divorce the man and keep going because she will never be happy in that marriage,work hard for herself and remarry a good man if she wishes.

Abeg go sit down face ur life and make better things out of it and stop looking for who don't need u, bcs u might even loss ur life in the process,I believe he must have live on,if they are from different ethnic group and love u he must HV look for u earlier, stop disturbing ur mother.

Non

[quote author=Rubbiish post=104670985]Single life favour women more than men in Africa?? U don't know what u are saying!
Who go through hell to provide for family?
Do u think as a woman, if u don't provide for family the society will blame u? Even the bible is against a man that can't provide for his family. Then when the children are of age, they tend to give mothers more attention than fathers. How is marriage now favouring men more than women? Look nobody will respect u if u don't have money, not even your kids & wife, they will get tired at some point. How many married men of his age are respected like Don jazzy who is single? People only respect your age if at all money is not involved, not because u are married! People will respect a single elderly man of 70 years more than a married guy of 30 yrs. Age is what people respect, not marital status! :


How many men will be like don't jazzy just be realistic and how many men provide all for their family,many women are Ceos now,a least u will have a family if ure not don jazzy and be respected bcs of ur family, Anyway try and be single don't marryooo if u have not!

My own opinion is that you shouldn't fear women/marriage after all marriage mostly favours men in African except you are abroad. Just man up and do the needful and get ur own children bcs this baby mama thing they are advising you is not awesome you will not even get those children if don't pay her bride price esp in my area,you will just be baby making machine for the woman esp if she wish to be single too,after which you will be pushed away,just man up and marry make your own babies a t worst you will divorce because singles life doesn't favour men here in African it favor women though. When a man marry it give him more edge than a woman self,you will be regarded more
So don't be deceived.[color=#006600][/color]

Thank God,you will born my baby and give me,I no go marry uooooo

Bitter lemon

Juju dey speak for this man pocket,this man don tire people daughters and destroy their future. nawaoo

There is different thing b/w marriage and having children,most time is when marriage is blessed with children that people see it as achievement which anybody can have children without marriage, Most tym in Nigeria any marriage that don't have children will not work well,bitter truth is that people that have children outside wedlock and be able to train them well are even considered more successful to their counterparts, therefore marriage is not achievement in Nigeria,but giving birth to children and training them well is considered achievement Hera.[color=#000000][/color]

Na women go make adjustment naw not a man,is a favour marrying her self.wetin concern man and adjustment.

Contact me at udok43@yahoo.com for more details

They want to marry again, the previous person is old cargo, fresh food is good.

Why are you kneeling down for you husband is he God! That means you're just lying bcs people like you will be fire in their homes and always pretend outside. Mtcheeeeew

You're funnyoooo, you give u mum alone 10k, and 4 people including you 20k later 25k and you're here talking,infact you are very wicked,and you're saving 20k, e. g if you give them Wat you give your mom is 10 × 5(you + wife+ triplet) ,it will be 50k least manageable for a month,how do you expect your wife wit 3plets to be managing 25k a month in this hard time and also feed you from it, guy you're very funnyoooo,!

If you share your property to your sons make the documents with your daughter in-laws name to make their marriage stronger.

My house

Marriage is nothing, is not even awesome or good as thought, the most important things is to have children xo that you see who will help you when you're old.

They are real,I have been there.

Maybe they don't require u for sacrifice, abeg take money pursue easyoooo

07038674873

Thank God for the ivf was successful, congrats to her.

Hmmm this court would have freed her ooo! So that the innocent man can look for another love bcs his life is now in danger,you can for her now where many women are looking for such oportunity.

.Why Does Every Nigerian Woman Want to Get Married & Be A Mrs.?


In the face of increased reports of spousal abuse, exploitation, domestic violence and related mortality the question ‘why do women want to get married’ has taken on a heightened urgency.

Why despite the many risks and the lack of protection from abuse do women, most frequently the victims, continue to make finding and keeping a husband such a lifetime priority over and above dignity, happiness, health and frequently even over and above their life. I don’t know why. And I really can’t speak for anybody but myself.

Why would I want to be married and answer a Mrs. Somebody. Okay I really don’t want to be married. Primarily because the institution is stacked so heavily to benefit one party, the man but if I did want to be married why would I?

What are the advantages of being married in Nigeria?

1. Access to capital through your own personal work horse. Chinweizu has already said it so eloquently. It can be a cushy role sometimes being a Mrs. Somebody. You get to play with children all day or pursue ill advised pet projects while someone else (the Man) hustles for your bread and butter.

Of course this is not every woman’s reality. A lot of women have to hustle for their own and their children’s bread and butter too. Increasingly in my family law practice I see women doing all the hustling while their abusive husbands pretend to lead the leisurely life of a kept bum with expensive taste.

There are as many men out there looking for ‘made women’ to marry and exploit as there are women looking for ‘made men’ to marry and exploit. Why am I surprised? I remember growing up hearing my male peers declare they will marry working women for their extra income. Why didn’t we see it coming?

In the rural areas access to farming land rights, the difference between life and death in an agrarian subsistence economy, is given through men. Certain cash crops are also monopolised by men. So if you want to survive you must have a man, get a husband. Wives are conditioned to be territorial and can make it hell for any sister in law to depend on her male relatives.

Women with access to capital are less likely to stay in unhealthy abusive relationships. Its cliche. Daughters of the rich and powerful are quicker to step when a relationship goes bad. (Advise to men if you marry a rich man’s daughter forget bending her to your will to make her ‘submit’. She’s daddys spoilt princess. Treat her like one.)

Would I marry a really super duper rich man for his money? Only if we had a prior contractual agreement! I’m too self absorbed. I’m not sure I could maintain a fawning adulation indefinitely. Self made rich men are powerful men. Frequently driven controlling alpha males.

As Jane Fonda found out its cool getting a ranch, million dollar stock options and flawless diamonds for birthday presents but her life wasn’t her own any longer. She walked away happy anyway. Who wouldn’t? If you get real desperate it might be worth investing a few years or your life.

Marrying the super duper rich scion of a self made rich man on the other hand could work. He has a trust fund, probably never had to work and hustle a day in his life. Saw his mother brow beaten by an over bearing father. Over compensates by spending his fortune indulging his working class wife who he was attracted to because she was so unlike his mother. Just saying.

He could also be a junkie, a spoilt brat, a sadist or a sociopath. You never know where the apple is going to fall. Still there have been a couple successful models. Cindy Crawford comes to mind. And the senior Mrs. Hilton mother to Paris and Nikky. I can think of no African model. The male scions of the African elite class are usually bastards with an overwhelming sense of entitlement and their own privilege.

So the choice is Dangote or his son. Now imagine the sort of Machiavellian project meeting, seducing and keeping either of them would be. A life sentence. Surely getting a loan from the bank and making my own fortune is easier. And more satisfying fun. For me.

.
2. Access to richer, high social status networks.
Women are stereotyped for using marriage to scale the social class ladder. You can go from working class to middle class or even aristocracy literally with the stroke of a pen on that certificate. Sign on the dotted line Kate. Thank you Duchess. Neat trick. Everyone else has to work real hard for it and sometimes for many generations. Ask Fayad.

Of course women aren’t the only ones that use marriage to fast track up the social ladder. Men do it too. Again ask Fayad. If his son Dodi had been successful the family could have cut short what will be a few more generations of social climbing. Imagine that, they could have been related by blood to the English monarch.

I wouldn’t mind marrying a prince. It may not be a guarantee for happiness but marriage never was anyway. Since there are so few princes available and the really important ones rarely marry outside their race we’ll scratch that as never going to happen. And I really don’t want some small village prince. Or even a big village prince. He would have to be at least a prince of a recognized nation. (What can I say? I have big eye!)

Even after a divorce women retain their acquired social status especially when the marriage was long term . Ask Ivana Trump. Or Kimora Lee Simmons. Or Jennifer Oyakhilome. They flourished post divorce. Riding the wave of their ex husbands social capital mostly. Not to say they didn’t do a lot of hard work themselves but seriously the contacts and networks built up during the marriage helped.

3. Access to shelter.

In both urban and rural settings accommodation and housing is inadequate. In urban centers like Abuja its also bloody expensive. A few years ago I heard of the ‘Abuja Marriage’. Basically a woman moved in with a man that had a house whether rented or owned and they proceeded to play ‘house’ , have children and answer Mr. & Mrs for all intents and purposes.

Except neither party knew the others family or ever been to the village homestead, a key criteria of a stable marriage in Nigeria. Sometimes the lacuna was deliberate and malicious. Some men treated the woman as a glorified sex slave and housekeeper and abandoned her and their children for a family approved ‘wife’ when the time came. Which is when the women finally came to see us lawyer people.

Of course the female victims of the ‘Abuja Marriage’ were no less bleeped than the runs babes that pick up a different guy every night because they need a place to crash. What’s the alternative? Sleep under the bridge? Surely virginity, if some paedophile didn’t take that years ago, isn’t that important. Or very safe under the bridge anyway.

Would I want to give up my autonomy and independence through a marriage for a roof over my head? Let’s look at it differently. Would I give up the insecurity and trauma of being homeless in exchange for being a wife? Go figure. I’m glad I can earn an income and rent or buy my own house.

Of course I know a lot of financially independent women who have been socialized to believe its ‘wrong’ and ‘bad’ for a young single woman to own or rent a decent home and who choose to stay in bedsits or B.Qs instead. Or squat with relatives. Till they’re married. And Mister will get them a home.

Now these advantages to be married sum up to ‘security’. A lot of women are looking for security when getting married. Security from the storms of life. In a world that still gives the majority of its women too little opportunity to find financial security outside marriage. Ironically many women don’t find it in marriage either. Especially Nigerian women where a man can divorce and impoverish his wife and the mother of his children with legal and social support and connivance.

Other possible advantages of marriage could be companionship and love. Why do I mention these last when most writers would cite them as most important advantages of marriage? Well because I’m an Igbo-Nigerian woman who has lived her entire adult life in Nigeria. Love and companionship always come up later in a conversation about marriage

If I were to tell my Igbo-Nigerian grand mother I wanted to marry someone her first question would be what does he do for a living? Come to think of it that would be my Russian grandmothers first question too. My Nne-ukwu would go on to ask about his family pedigree. She would never ask me about love. Babushka would. Eventually. And love would win the day in her case.

Nne-ukwu would dismiss me if I based my decision on ‘ifunanya’ which is Igbo for ‘love’ but really means ‘attraction’. Literally it means ‘I see you eye’. You don’t marry for love she would say (though it sure does lead to a lot of quicky marriages.) Marriage is a practical choice, not an emotional one she would insist. Its the rest of your life. How can you plan the rest of your life on a fleeting ‘attraction’. She would say.

She would also call me irresponsible if I said I didn’t want to marry unless I had a plan to be responsible which to her means nurturing a family. Luckily in Igbo-Nigeria women had those options. We could marry and be a ‘female husbands’. Except the Same Sex Marriage Prohibition Bill criminalised it. Maybe I can sue for violation of my constitutionally protected cultural rights?

Only after verifying whether my choice was capable of sustaining a family in a decent if not opulent manner and came from an acceptable pedigree would she enquire if he was considerate, responsible and attentive. Those would be her top 3 criteria for a suitable life long companion. Love will come later she would say, after a life time building a family side by side like it did with her and grandfather.

I’m not going to even consider the frequently quoted cliches and subjective arguments about the ‘social status’ of a married woman in Nigeria. Its hog-wash. All I can say is being a ‘Mrs’ won’t protect you from poverty, sickness, death, disrespect, dismissal, sexual exploitation, victimisation, harassment or violence. So what ‘social status’ does it confer?

So have I convinced myself that I want to be married? No. I can get all of the above without being married. Might be harder to do but hey I’m the mountain goat, remember? And I can be married and still have none of the above. That might make me a sucker.
Copied.
Google search.