Oh please! Stop this your holier than thou abegi!

You are even one of them but pretend to be holy. Look, I have known you long time and have even been on nairaland before you. Abegi stop pretending joorh! I know how u ladies roll. You will go about bashing men and supporting everything women do, even if she commits adultery. Abegi, stop this your pretense and roll with your cabal joorh!m

chaircover:

Thank you!!!! This was all cleared up during John Doe and Uncle Richy's days . . .only for them to bring it up again

It annoyed me then and it annoys me now. They complain that people are being chased away and intimidated by the cabal, but its not true. Chili and yellowpawpaw are relatively new posters on this section. Has anyone ganged up against them and cabalised them?.

A week doesn't go by without many of us ladies disagreeing over something, but the "MEN" who know how us ladies are dont get involved and they let us be, because they know that one minute we are tearing out our weaves and the next minute we are all lovey dovey. You wont hear someone like coogar say anything about cabal.

Its usually the other breed of "men" who come along inciting strife, going on about fictitious cabals just to cause trouble while they sit back and enjoy the fracas that occurs

There is no cabal and if you want something to amuse you while you eat your popcorn that will choke you one day, then go watch BBA

@ OP! Why did he drop out from school? That is the first thing that I need to know.

Why am so interested in his dropping out from school is: when I was in school back in the days, I used to have friends who were all big boys and cultist, they refused to heed to advises been given to them till they ran out og school. They abandoned school because, they had to, just to safe their lives after all this cultist shit.
Fastforward now, I saw 1 in surulere working in a phonecall/computer centre. He was working for a young boy, I was so shocked he was calling that young boy sir! This is a guy that would have been a graduate ooo, earning big money.
No long story, why did your 30years old friend drop out from school?

Awwwwwww! So cute!

I hope in the next thread that a woman will come and complain about her husband siblings you will also bless them with taiwo and kehinde!

@ OP! I wish you the best of luck and success. Take care of your siblings oooooo, for you are now their mother!

babyosisi:

Great!!
I hope the young ones are in school after the Summer break.
That is a full house

You
Hubby
22 yr old brother
17 yr old
12 yr old
4 yr old

What a patient hubby you have
God bless him
Taiwo and Kehinde go soon land

kulyie: ill be right back to answer the question

lol! You wan go google the answer ni?

@ kuylie! Answer the question efe asked you. If it was your mother and your husband does these same thing op did to her mother-in-law, what would you do? Be happy abi?

Please stop dodging that question, many of are curious to know if it was your mum......?

Efemena_xy:

Efe nor get time to quarrel with you on such a nonsensical matter.

Anyway, keep on observing women's hypocrisy. Do nothing to understand why it happens in the first place or the events that lead up to it.

Nothing do you.

hahahahahahahahahahah!

I get better things to do than to come they observe. Nairaland is my recreation ground were I come to read and have fun with ma spare times.

As idey open any thread, I read coments too. So opening another thread and reading different comments from some people on similar issues is just one of the things I stumble on when on my recreational time on nairaland.

Like I earlier said. Take it easy, we no dey quarrel.

The double posting is due to network in this town I am now.

Madam we no dey quarrel ooo. Simply my observations on the hypocrisy on some women.

Efemena_xy: ^^ Why the double posting? Once was enough.

If you see nothing wrong with your siblings being rude and disrespectful to your wife because "na my brother's house", then carry go. Don't complain if your wife kicks a fuss about it and makes the atmosphere in your home non-conducive.

Besides, I don't give a monkey's how you chose to run your home na! If you like get the entire family under your roof to live with you, including both sets of parents.

So, after you have finished typing this your bigger picture breakdown on and on again saying am short-sighted in this your explanations, the conclusion to your bigger picture explanations is that; the wife's family should be accepted in the matrimonial home while the huband's family should stay away.

Oya, type another breakdown of why the wife's family are more acceptable than the husbamd's family, am short-sighted like your insinuating so that I can understand wella.

Efemena_xy:

I'm getting tired of schooling you and helping you to understand the gist. I'll break it down for you. Maybe that'll be easier...

1. You started off by accusing the women on the family section of being hypocrites and that they only see fit their side of the family living in their matrimonial homes.

2. You've looked at it only from a short-sighted point of view. I've been gracious enough to give you the full picture, and to help you gain an insight into the minds of many women in the situation you painted. I've given you the reasons behind the perceived actions which your determined to hold against them.

3. You've turned things around, throwing tantrums and bringing in the mother-in-law into the picture. Who mentioned MILs here? The issue is about siblings, but no, you just love family feuds. Why stop at MIL? You should also bring in FILs too na.

4. Whether you care to admit it or not, fact is: Most times, it's the man's siblings who feel they have the upper hand against the wife as she's the new entrant into the picture, determined to do nothing but rock the boat.

5. You find it hard to believe that the liberty the man's family take without a care in the world, the woman's family wouldn't dream of doing. How many threads do we have opened up here where the woman's family complain about the man? It's usually the other way round, isn't it?

So, that's the bottom line gist here. It about attitudes, and NOT about which side of the family gets to stay or not stay in the matrimonial home.

.

@ OP am very sorry for the derailment of this your wonderfull and inspiring thread. I just had to make references to some earlier threads because of their similarities and contradictory post of some posters that have posted in these threads. So sorry for the derailment once more.

However, I have just learnt that the wife's family are always subservient and should be allowed in a matrimonial home while the husband's family are always rude and arrogant and shouldn't be allowed into the matrimonial home.

Back to the topic! @ OP, please I undersatand your predicament you and with your siblings. Being orphans is very hard to cope with and you are like their mother. I will give you only one advise here. I plead with you, make it a point of duty that you make sure your brother that is 22 years goes to school. Sacrifice whatever you have to make sure he goes to the university. This will be the greatest legacy you can lay for your late parents. I know it is not easy, but at the end of it all you will not regret. Even if he wants to venture into business, he really needs to go to school atleast part-time. Please make sure he goes to school.

Efemena_xy:



ARE YOU SERIOUS??!!

Frustration get levels o! Or...hang on...is that elder brother none other than Mr Kzokul himself??

kai! Seriously efe! So you doubting me bah? Don't worry like I said earlier on, I will pop out atleast 3 threads of this issue whenever am out of mobile and all this 3 threads babyosisi carry them for head advising all this women to throw out their husband's siblings. I will gain nothing lying against her. They are some other women in those threads with her but why I can remember her vividly is cos she carry the protest against husband's siblings for head.

As for me being any person efe! Am too big to go and stay in anyone's house. Sorry to disappoint you abt that.

@ efe! You know why I have been finding it hard to type long, cos am on mobile.

I have been on a business trip to one town like that in ekiti, meaning I hjave been on mobile for the past two days. Sorry I don't even have the time for this to and fro now, I will resurrect this thread when am back to lagos with facts. So sorry for that.

@ osisi aka babymama, you have forgotten when you and your co-travellers were advising a lady to throw out her husband's brother from the house that their marriage needs to be enjoyed and not endured. You went as far as telling the lady how your husband was being intimate with you in the sitting room, kitchen, store, toilet corridor because no one was staying with you and you hubby. I thought you will give this lady the same advise to also enjoy her marriage by also throwing out her own siblings. Abi, intimate inside kitchen, parlour, store don finish ni?

Mehn see y'all later, typing on a moblie fone with limited network na big stress ooooooooo.

So going to stay with your son for a while is a village mentality!

So there is now a difference between mother and siblings in a family?

Am through with this thread efe! You are the emotional and sentimental one here! Have a nice day!

Efemena_xy:

Did I state that explicitly? Prove me wrong and quote where I said that.



Your inferences, your conclusion.



Quote me pls to prove this point of yours.

It's funny, come to think of it. I've given you the complete picture of how it is and you don't like it. So what do you do next? You go all sentimental and emotional on me?

yeah! You have given me the complete picture of how it is. So, with the complete picture you gave me, the husband's family will always suppress and oppress the wife while the wife's family will always be subjective and coperative to the woman and husband.

Then, the solution to this problem for you is; the woman should always bring her family members while the man shold not bring his own family members because his own will disrespect the wife and her(wife) own will alway respect the husband.

Meaning, you have no right to go to your son's matrimonial home for you will oppress your son's wife, but, your son's mother-in-law should always be there for she would be good to them.

Am typing on mobile and can't actually quote you words for words but please go and re-read your post.

As for being emotinal and sentimental, please, how am I emotional and sentimental?

@ efemeneya.

With what you just typed now, then it is advisable for the woman to bring in her own siblings to her matrimonial home, but, it is wrong for the man to bring in his own siblings to the same matrimonial home.

With the reasons you gave, then, I can safely conclude that, you as a mother, when your son marries, it is right for your son to bring in his mother-in-law to his matrimonial home and it is wrong fo your son to bring you(the mother) into the matrimonial home.

So, the mother-in-law will be more good and understanding of their marriage while yourself will always be hell to the wife. With what you just typed, that means when a man marries, his family should have no say but when a woman marries her family should have every say in the same marriage.

..

yellowpawpaw:
I understand u very well but quite a number of women were against it so pls don't generalise.

Hey! I am not generalizing ooo. I know in those threads few women were against throwing away their husband siblings but they were shut down! Hapi weekend madam yellowpawpaw!

OP! You need to help your siblings now that they really need you ooooo, as long as your husband have no problem with that. Wish you and your siblings all the best.

On the flipside, the women in the family section are all hypocrites ooooo. I can remember so many threads in this family section being opened by women that their husband siblings stay with them and what should they do? Many of this women who posted before me especially babyosisi have all advised such women to tell their husbands to throw those siblings away that it is their early marriage and they need to enjoy it. But on this thread this same hypocrites have started saying no problem with that.

When it is the husband siblings, they should be thrown away of the matrimonial home, but when it is the wife's siblings they should stay! Am on mobile now I would have posted such threads were all this women above me advised their fellow women to throw away their husband's siblings from their matrimonial homes.

D best advice 4 u is 2 get married so weneva d urge comes u can always av it wit ur husband at any given tym and any given place of ur choice.....

Eko Atlantic:
-Yorubas from other states in SW were reunited in 2011 You ibos hailed Fashola.
-Northerners were reunited, you ibos laughed at them.
-Ibos were reunited, you ibos ran to aso rock, cried like babies and shouted genocide.
-Yorubas(Osun) again were reunited, you ibos termed the action as one to justify the earlier ibos deportation.

Tribalism and timidity at its peak.

Where is he 4rm and wat is he saying

malc619: Instead of telling bare-faced lies and exhibiting crass ethnic bigotry, Peter Adaobi should have acted in the same way as Rauf.

Fashola should not relent in reuniting the destitutes in Lagos state with their families wherever they are.

Lagos must not Baje!! Never!!!

Not until I buy my land in Eko Atlantic, build my mansion and dwell in it for at least 35 years...

Dem go deport u go borno state.......

Royal Roy: ^^^^^^^

Of course to each his/her own!!!
A rich man's daughter is not excused at all. I only want to reason with you & see what conditions could make u wanna keep ur father's name!!!

And u think its fun making "our" money with ur husband, & some village peeps who didn't know much of how "our" property came about, will tell you "you were never married to their son" even if they eat Isi-Ewu & drank Vodka on ur wedding day!!!

If it works for u, enjoy it.........but when it backfires, be brave enough to holla when u "need advice ".

hahahahahaha!

I never said they should be obama or any other person I simply said they can be the obamas of this world. They can also be th bill gates, buffet, jayz etc in their own fields meaning reaching the peak of their careers.

So they should bear their father's name while they have it in their consciousness that you are their mum just because you have refused to bear your husband's name and be one family. So in reality your not their mother and in their conscious state your their mother just because you have refused to shield your pride and answer your husband's name.
Look, there is a limit to the fight for struggle. In war you learn when to retreat and not cross your boundaries so that you don't be crushed and annihilated totally. This is what africans don't get. How to retreat, that is why they are always loosers. The west started this feminism thing but they know their limit, but my beautifull african women are taking this too far.
We all know how a feminist beyonce is, she even sang a song 'who run the world? Girls' , but her baby girl's name is ivy-blue carter. Her name too. So they know their limits. Anyway my african women have left the war for equality and are now fighting for superiority and like I earlier said this will be their greatest undoing. In this world and in the next to come women can never win war against men. It is nature but the men are ready for equality and not this superiorirty thingy.

deols: ^^you are talking as if what I do is your problem.

What is it about when my children become like Obama? No. my children will become individuals and wont be trained to be like any body and yes, they would bear their father's name while they have it in their consciousness at every moment that I am their mother.

If that makes me a feminist, deal with it.

So, after keeping your surname and your husband keeping his, if you start having children whose name should the children use?

Are you using your father's surname or your mother's surname?

How did you get your surname? Your family surname that you want to keep, did your mother keep her own when she was married and decided to become one with your father?

Keep my surname! Keep my surname! The genesis of every surname that women fight to keep is the name of the father and their children will still keep the name of their husbands. If all this women keeping surname don't want to take part in their husband's name then when the children turns out to be the obasanjos and obama of this world using their husband's surname, I hope they still continu to answer their father's surname oooo.

I don't see why a man should be answering a surname and the wife another surname as if the wife answered the mother and father's surnames differently.
Oh! I get! It is all about feminism, women are now fighting for the men and her children will answer her father's surname. Lol! This feminism crap of a thing will reach to the extent were women will be totally stripped of the equality right ish and be sent to the kitchen.

Feminism will soon reach were women will be demanding to be superiors and not equals anylonger. Continue to fight for superiority till you are totally relegated to the background like in the old. I hope this extreme feminism thing will not be women's undoing.

deols: It boils down to perception then.

I dont think what I bear would affect my relationship with the man I marry. I dont think it would make me less submissive more than I can.

I know people doing well in marriage and husbands who are ok with their wives not changing their names and they are happy.


Me o, I love my family name and not even a Dangote would make me change it. In fact, many of my friends call my name with the surname when in our joking sessions. i dont wanna lose that!

I believe a man should not feel threatened by the wife's need to keep her maiden name if he is not having an authoritarian attitude.That attitude should be a keep off to many, I guess.

This niger deltans r so barbaric and heartless.....wishing u a quick recovery corper and a quick catch up on d cultists.....

Omavik: Mtcheew......I ws actualy hopin 2 c a braless pix cos dats wat i feel defines ur topic wel, dere is ntin criously wrng wt ha dressin...

Exactly.....

She has no excuse 4 committing suicide.....its not even a physical bully, a social networking media bully....SMH dis oyibo pple and dier way of life keeps makin me tink if they av d kind of brains and mentallity dt we africans possess.....they r so different in every ramification of lyf......na wa o........honestly am proud 2 b an African man coz we gat d strength,dt agility,dt drive 2 withstand any form of intimidation or bully in any kind of weda or environment......b it physical or common social netwrk bully......Honestly we r blessed in africa....if na african pikin wey dem dey bully like dis hm response go b thunder faya u.....anyway may her gen2 soul rest in peace and and give d family d fortitude 2 bear d loss.......

Embarrased!!!! But Once bitten twice shy..

Akinsete19: Please if you don't know what to it is better for you to shout up your mouth, did you think that oau is just like advanced secondary school called university that most of you criticism the school attend, nothing founded in any university,polytechnic in africa that is not found in oau-ife,get the fact right, and am very sure that most of you criticism the school don't even where the school is located talkless you knowing the school gate, the fact that you don't have the privilege or you wrote post utme five times in the school without being admitted does not mean you to criticise the school, i am not a student of the school.

What is he saying ooooo.......any interpreter in d ous plsssssss.....chaiiiiii

No b by $1million or $30million skul oooo......na by wetin u fit offer @ d end oooo.....most cultists in schools r product of such skuls and most intelligent and brilliant students r products of lowkey schools......pple wey dey go all these skul na pple wey their papa don kip multi million naira or dollar investment 4 dem......wat am tryin 2 pinpoint is dt d skul u attend does not necessarily mata it all depends on indiviual effort and drive 2 attaining ur goal or desire......

Am so addicted 2 cigar.....I smoke like 2 packets every in a day.....I pray dt God release me 4rm dis addiction........so help me God. AMEN....

All of u r saying lovely family,cute family and so on......2moro dem go fall apart.....