₦airaland Forum

ThothHermes:
Why not educate me?

you should know since you seem to know that all men in your port harcourt are co-caretakers

ThothHermes:
Do you want to "domesticate" the man or do you want him to be a co-caretaker?

The theme of your thread was that men who share financial duties with their wives should also share caretaker duties no?

Have you forgotten your OP all of a sudden

do you know what being a caretaker entails?

ThothHermes:
Don't see the relevance but I'll bite.
Port Harcourt, Nigeria.

so in your port harcourt ,all the men are domesticated in their homes?

ThothHermes:
No need to get testy.

[s]
You mean his wife also contributes to the financial upkeep of the house but he refuses to do anything except watch TV or gist with his friends?
Please who is he?
How did you get to know him[/s]?

where do you live ? So i can know where to begin with you.

ThothHermes:
Lol.

You don't.
Think carefully.

You are just assuming that there are such men.
Be honest. Do you any such man personally?

yes, any other stupid question?

ThothHermes:
I am very sure you don't know any man who wants his wife to be a coprovider but does not want to be a co-caretaker.

you must likely live under a rock or something to say that. Lol

CHoccolaTE:

Future has always been female, men just contribute mayhem and subjugation of females

unfortunately many women have been conditioned by these men to believe they have nothing to offer ,they have nothing to contribute to the world , hence women dont know they basically have the key to the thought process of society in their hands starting with how they raise their kids .

CHoccolaTE:


I really enjoyed your last paragraph

That's the thing I like reminding women of for them to realise male superiority is just absolute nonsense.

Look at that one telling me men fight wars to protect women as if they were not also protecting their own male interests on the process of fighting wars, as if the soldiers were not protecting their fellow men as well as if the men themselves were not the cause of the wars.
Who else will fight wars that men started if not men themselves? Idiots
Go around causing trouble and mayhem then want to be patted on the back for doing barest minimum

lol, if you look at it critically these men are more threat to humanity than women they will gladly accuse of being the greatest evil known to man kind,lol.


Anyway ,i hope women correct the abnormalities starting with how they raise their sons, its time to do create now individual with new norms different form that of our mysogynistic forefathers.

CHoccolaTE:
I know, when they run out of sensible things to say they start writing irrational bullshit all in a bid to avoid agreeing with females because they want to protect online reputation of being rolemodel redpillers

Many men are so stupid

especially the ones from here , sadly , i am sure most of them are apprentices of uwamaikpe and the other toxic baby daddy ancestor.

Duggedised12:
well said, we as women must mould our kids into better humans and not add to the rot created by our parents due to archaic beliefs .

Like you rightly said, the results my not be visible soon ,but if every woman makes it her duty to mould her kids and erode norms that are of no value to the modern day life created by our ancestors ,sooner or later ,it will be passed down and a new generation with new norm will gradually emerge.

very well said, the future is in the hands of the woman, its up to her to instil the traits and norm she wants to retain in her offspring to break the circle of archaic thought processes that does not fit in with the present day. The future is female. Raise your sons better!

@ CHoccolaTE

CHoccolaTE:
On a side note and unrelated to the topic, one thing that's making me laugh is how entitled the average man feels and they have the nerve to call women entitled
Can you believe some people think traditional roles were fair to women.

Traditionally the man had to provide for the wife even if the provision he is providing cannot satisfy her needs properly and in exchange for his shitty provisions the wife in return had to:

1. Submit to his authority whether she is happy or miserable aka strip away her freewill and freedom.
2. Cook two/three times every single day for household for all the decades they stay married.
3. Clean up after everyone on the house including mr shitty provider
4. Endure stress and sickness of pregnancy while keeping house in one piece
5. Cater for children for all the years it takes then to be able to look after themselves
6. All her children belong to the mans lineage and family and bear his name
7. Even in the past, married women had farms they worked on to grow crops for sale or for feeding family so they were always co providers, it didn't start with modern feminism.

Basically men have done one thing and one thing only in the family structure since the beginning of time which is to provide. Remove their ability to provide and see how useless many of them become.
Lousy useless group of people.
It wouldn't even be so bad if they didn't go around causing all sorts of violent mayhem and wars and criminality, they create majority of problems in the world and at the same time endlessly gripe and whine about how women are very evil and bad and entitled,.

well said, they become vindictive and bitter when their ability to provide is taken away, before you know any small thing "na because i nor get work" , even when they are supposed to use their heads and atleast help out since they are useless to their pockets.lol.

According to them women are the greatest evil ever known to the world o. Meanwhile 99% of the people that have soiled the name of this country are all men, even here in Nigeria ,from boko haram, to bandits, to rutialist to serial killers to cultists to yahoo, to pedeophiles even sodomising young boys, they now even have occupational rapists , lol

CHoccolaTE:
I see that the dumbass redpill morons on this thread have succeeded in provoking op even though she started on a very civil and peaceful note.
OP kpele o
I dont know if you are new to nairaland but the average small boy on nairaland will spend hours and hours browsing foreign sites like reddit and then come to a Nigerian site thinking they can apply foreign ideologies in Nigeria that's why many of them will start wondering idiotic wonders like how are women still being oppressed,
Are women not given equal opportunities like men?
Are they not already empowered?
And all other crap they would have known about of they actually left their foriegn websites and went into Nigerian society to see how things work.

You have made very good points op, too bad some small boys are too dumb to comprehend.

honestly, that was why i kept reiterating that it was my personal opinion, but these dickheads just have a way to be usual dolts they are known for ,very insufferable beings

liberalchick:
“Domestic chores is for women”

In our house, there’s no boy or girl chore, all chores are a life skill that a human being should know/learn. We’re raising a boy and a girl and they both do all kinds of chores equally. Now that they’re old enough to make breakfast, they have a rotation, one makes the breakfast and the other washes the dishes.

When they’re old enough for “the talk” the boy would be told he’s not entitled to any girl’s body; no means no; playing with the emotions of another is a no no; etc.

I agree with you, we can complain all we want but how are we raising our sons. Our parents dropped the ball. Even as woke as my parents were, this was our routine, the girls woke up earlier to do chores, the girls did chores after school, while my brother only ‘washed’ the car on Saturdays. My Yoruba demon ex’s mother was encouraging his cheating ass by welcoming all his side chicks into her house and calling all of them “our wife”.

I am glad you know better and is putting in effort to be better and erode the way society has been programmed by not raising your children that way.

More women need to be aware of this power they wield and stop putting out damaged adults into the society, i know some might say where are the fathers in this equation, like we have heard time and time again, their only duty is to bring money to the table so the duty falls on every woman out there to raise better sons and daughters to society. The woman has the power to shapen the next adult male not to be rhe headache of another women ,she also has the power to teach the next lady how to be self sufficient and know her worth and never to settle for less.

As for the mother of your ex, sadly this is what we see today, many baldy raised men. They leave their sons to find their compass in life and hover round their daughters forgetting that the life of a well brought up girl can be ruined by a badly raised boy. She gave him a pass to be irresponsible probably because "na man" ,that phrase is very common in Nigerian homes i must say. Since a female figure in his life already gave him a pass, it will take divine intervention for him to change his ways of philandering. Smh


The results might no be imediate, it might be long tiring process, we might no even be alive to reap the benefits but we will be leaving a better world than the one our mothers lived in even better than ours ,as we will have more adults well conditioned to treating each other with respect irrespective of gender. Change begins with us as women!.

"Women have nothing to offer but sex"
"Women bring nothing to the table"

I am sure these phrases sounds familiar. I have noticed there is a psychological conditioning going on ,when you are told you are not good enough you dont strive to be better.You are made as a woman to accept what is thrown at you and maintain the status quo after all ,this generation of women have it better than those of old , you should be grateful the patriarchy society even allowed you some privileges like education since girl education was one time a taboo, you should be grateful, You might even be told, the only good thing you are for as a woman is popping out babies.

Many women do not know a woman is the backbone of any nation,the nurturer, extinction of a population depends on women. If your lineage will survive it depends on the woman which is why women and children are the main target of war.


Do you also know that as a woman you can change the future? Yes, you can by how you raise your children today, how you nurture them and shape their though process. What is it about society treatment towards women you want to change ? start by shaping the thought process of your children towards that direction,do not neglect your sons to be another woman's headache , teach your daughters self esteem and self respect, you are the nurturer, the key to the next adult to be released into the society is in your hands, this is the time to be parentally alert to how your children respond and see issues, change begins with you.

emmaodet:
Martinez sorry for replying late, have been busy lately.
About Men making and enacting divorce laws that are detrimental to us (Men), Martinez i think we have a very big problem coming to hit us men sooner or later.
We cant see it but it is there. Where we are looking at is not where the problem will come from.
Over the years, men have been pumping and dumping ladies with kids and these kids will grow up without any fatherly figure and one way or the other will enact laws to get at us.
Pls look at the big picture. No man in his senses will make those ridiculous laws, they were made by disgruntled bastards among us that have all been brainwashed by there toxic mothers about we men.
That is one draw back about giving the woman the custody of the child because she will transfer the venoms to the child.
Martinez i think we are in trouble because sooner or later, these bastards will find there way to the senate and change laws. Believe me

Pansophist
Ubunja
Franchasng

lol , you mentioned the bastard producers the seed planters.

kazyhm:
Are talking from a personal experience ?


"Women who have filled the gap" which country are you ?

Anyway, I live in Nigeria and I'm very much part of my society.....I have seen divorced women struggling to meet up with responsibilities harnessing other relationships with willing men


All survival still boiled down to relationship with all shades of being.....most women ends one and goan stay strong in another.........getting paid to supply whatever needs that is required.......contractors and business women that divorced scum men.

change your circle then, its seem where you stay is somehow . lol

LilMissFavvy:
Are you surprised? Most of the black men are like that, the good ones are few, so ladies gotta be wise and enlightened. Today's women should groom their daughters properly. It's pathetic how some men still wish women should remain in the dark ages of oppression and torments, sad.

You saw how one of them took time to explain such oppressions as it was done to our mothers of old. Although the black woman is still far from freedom, we can only wait to see what the future holds concerning divorce laws, child support, etc.

The only thing I disagree with the post, Is you claiming that feminism is women shooting themselves in the foot. There is nothing bad about a woman contributing for the upkeep of her home, especially if such financial inputs are directed towards child care, after all it's her child, and children often times reward their mothers in future, so no loss. Also, in many families of today, men help out, we can only wish they can get better. Why not take a rest? You have explained everything that needs to be explained......... don't be surprised if same topic surfaces tomorrow and these fellows troop In to ask same questions. They are simply bitter that women should gain freedom, or that women of today are wiser, too bad!

ofcourse no woman should ever abandon her child,dead beat father or not . And as for the rest, you know these boys very well . lol

LilMissFavvy:
.......you girls have said it all! Interesting and educative thread.

i just discovered their almighty mentor na old ancestors wey give girl belle. That is all they are good at ,ubi Franklin people ,lol

Martinez39:
You have said it all. Your last paragraph is gold. As ubunja once told me, expecting logic and honest reasoning from a woman in issues like this is like expecting the sun to rise in the west. These toxic and irresponsible women are not the main problem instead it is the weak and simping men who yield and tolerate every irrational and dangerous demands and caprices of these women.

come you self conceited incel before you call people toxic you need to look in the mirror ,lol mr "everything i say is sound" lol.

Any man who doesn't take your crackhead pills is a simping Lol, so all men must follow your baby daddy ancestor mentor who has a child out of wedluck but refused to wed her because she is from a tribe he doesn't like even tho he claims she is decent?

Lol, your mentor is a baby daddy ancestor who cant even hold a relationship but knows alot about women ,how cool. And this is the same person you want men who want to have a healthy relationship to imitate? Ofcourse he will give them names for choosing to live a life other than that of a toxic baby daddy lifestyle.lol

kazyhm:
Life happens and no one is innocent......thats one fact.

If a woman's husband suddenly change in attitude, there must be a cause ( there is no smoke without fire) what women fail to admit is that men have expectations too......thing will definitely go sour if a woman fall short of her husband expectations while he meets hers.

But rather for women to woman up, they often times start to rant men are scum........

so kicking her out with the children to the streets is the right thing to do since his expectations are not met if i get what you are saying.


You saying women have not woman up you need to get out more and see women who have filled in the gap and taken care of their children themselves. But it doesn't excuse the dead beat behavior Nigerian men are known for amongst other things .

kazyhm:
If you can anticipate this. Why get married in the first place ?

Why don't you just go get that job and make all the money in the world to acquire all those things men are depriving you of in other to drive your point home

So you're sure you'll get divorced is the reason you need an equally paying job as your husband to enable you acquire properties secretly while spending the man's hard earn money frivolously and then be capable to alone to mock him when the chips a down rather than support your family while you earn the money

No one ever anticipates the worse for themselves ,except they have self hatred .

Every human has one thing,hope , no one will reject a "happily ever after",well that person will have to be demonic. But then things happen, i have seen loyal women get burnt but if there was a system in place to seek redress women will rest easy and not have to worry of being thrown out ,and be as loyal as they come.

eni4real:
Don't believe everything you see on Nairaland...
The naughtiest ones here are very caring to their babes and loved ones..

They just want to bash!!

i hope so.

eni4real:
That was Sarcasm.. You knew that I was joking..

I don't expect that from you!

honestly ,its getting annoying to me , call your brothers to order

Deja93:
The next time you come online be positive

You don’t know it but your next breakthrough might be just that man you open your filthy broke ass mouth to curse



Have a beautiful weekend

next time you come online dont be quick to insult people when you have sisters and a mother who might even be worse at home.

A beautiful weekend to you too

Deja93:
Write me on WhatsApp I’ll confirm every word I’ve spoken and I’ll call you a hoe in the end

oh well but one thing is certain i will never defeat your mum in the hoeing business,that mother of yours was one hell of an undisputed champion when it comes to being a hoe,twale for your mama, heavy weight champion of all hoes. Lol

Deja93:
Naija hoe

FYI turned millionaire at age 25 I’m co owner of moskeljoe enterprises founder of kalyfroshart blog and a well to do accountant I own two cars by his grace and infact I should be in Dubai later this month for a seminar heck I’ve got graduates working for me

Who the hell are you

She supported me when I was down not that she feeds me

Plus I’d literally feed you for the next 25years

See what we’re saying about Nigerian women instead of this one to Goan fix her life you’re here fighting someone who’s already made

Your headache

Spits

lol for internet everybody na big man, even celebs do it too. Lol. If you had said, at the age of 15 i would have believed you , seems you dolts are obsessed with 25 ,lol.Well rehearsed tho.

Korllami007:
Thank you for this.

I don't understand this husband this blah blah blah, Nigerian men in marriage blah blah blah, how most women in marriage are the bread winnners of their families and the same bread winners need alimony and child support from men that are not working. Lol.

The last time I checked every one has the right to stay single till the rest of their lives and no one will arrest them. Genevieve and Don jazzy no marry, den kill them? No.

If no man agrees with you to do house chores, abeg stay single and stop disturbing us on how being a woman is hard and being a man is easy because of house chores.

who call you come here then? Why didn't you scroll and shut up? Or did i come to knock on your door ,what rubbish talk ,nothing person nor go see for all this boys hand for here,lol disturb you ke maybe i should have taken permission from you before creating the thread so as not to disturb you, lol.

Unpussified:
When u don't hv anything sensible to say u shame and hurl insults. Been going through the whole thread and u haven't made any sense neither hv u adequately responded or addressed his points.

scroll up .

Martinez39:
Oga, my problem is that she is worried about nonexistent problems and an erroneous notion. Let me explain .
1) The marriage arrangement of a woman doing the chores alone and sharing bills while the man shares the bills only doesn't describe the average family in Nigeria or even the average family globally. Such marriage arrangement cannot be obtained even if you follow the gender roles of the bible. In virtually all cases in Nigeria, it's the man doing the providing alone while the woman takes care of the chores or she and man share the chores (even though the man is providing alone because ''it's too difficult to look after the child'' ) or there is an house maid. In fact, even when the woman has money, it's not unusual to see her practice "my money is my money, your money is our money" as the guy foots all the bills. Even when they share the bills, the husband will share the chores. So the op is ranting over a very very rare marriage arrangement.
2) Even when such marriage arrangements exists, it cannot be due to feminism as most feminists, being the hypocrites that they are, would marry a richer provider husband and have the beneficial marriage arrangements in my first point. Even if a feminists shares the bills, she would invariably share the chores with her husband. The feminist's ego and ideals would never allow her have the marriage setting the op described. So you see, the op erred when she said such marriage arrangement (as described in her op) is due to feminism. She is plainly wrong and feminism is not leading any woman to take double responsibilities.
3) As I have said, men do not owe women their money. It's not written anywhere that a real man provides for a woman. It is not incumbent on any man to provide for a woman and it is not a sin if a woman is asked to provide (prove me wrong).
4) Women are already empowered . They already have the same rights and opportunities as men.

All these were what I was trying to address in my argument with the op.

how many marriages do you know coming from an old agbaya who probably cant hold down a relationship for an hour lol, regurgitated rubbish as usual, dem nor even mention you now o, but you rush come again ,lol.let me explain like say the na blab you dey blab since ,if after all the epistles you have been regurgitating you feel you still need to explain,i dont even know what to call you ,lol


Translation of all the mumble jumbo up there in no particular order;


-Men dont owe their children money and child support is an injustice to men,

-Women need to maintain the status quo and do as they are instructed after all their grand mothers didn't even have the priviledges they have today so they are empowered enough,

-Nigerian men do chores too ,the op is lying ,


-Only feminists say Nigerian men don't do chores.

The beauty of science,when the force of science goes all out ,its unstoppable.

Ardar:
You can never have a meaningful discussion with a Nigerian male without insults, it's either they call you a bit.tch or a dumb olosho or any other thing that comes to that dirty brain of theirs. Bitter souls.

@Op I perfectly understand the points you are making here.

I can't work and share the bills with my husband and yet he expects me to do the house chores including cooking all by myself, he has to help me too.

But if due to the nature of his job he can't, then the next option is to get a maid.

simple, that was what i said o, some men are so patheic they cant even look after a baby for an hour , but in came the nairaland goons on their crackhead pills ,lol

franchasng:
I said it, gay alert, Nairaland should create a section for assless gays like you

lol, i think by now you need to stop fooling yourself for the sake of your medic gf or did she dump you?,is that why you went from being sensible to senseless? . lol