₦airaland Forum

A lady I work with had baby with boyfriend, boyfriend dumps her and has nothing to do with her and baby the next thing her mum suggests is send the baby to me in Nigeria so she did at just 6months old!!!!!!!!!!!

Just so she could work all the hours GOD send she sees this child once a year he calls her aunty even though she corrects him he tells her no shes not his mother hes about 4 now. She plans to bring him back age 6. To top off this whole mess her mother who asked for the baby to be sent is over here in LONDON now an has been for about 2yrs working!!!

Shes missed out on so much of his young life something she can never get back she is a stranger to him. We Africans need to stop this culture of dumping kids with relations because we believe it is good for the child.

If grandparent cannot live with you and help take care of the child then too bad. People are raising strangers money is not everything love care and attention is.

Its almost like adoption why bring children into this world if you dont want to care for them?

Stop right there! Dont be foolish

Parents are responsible for instilling the right ideas and morals in their children. Are you trying to say there is no crime in nigeria?

saintbiddy:
I strongly believe we all should always take our time before saying anything on nairaland,if a man wants to bring up is children in is ways wht is wrong with tht.how many of us here knows that most knife and gun crimes in the uk is caused by children from 10-18 years old and 80% of them are africans.we should seriously think abt things before saying them.if the man believes thts the best way for his children why would anyone things he is silly.are u telling me the man doesnt like the children thts why he is sending them to grandmum,obviosly he has seen it from a bigger picture and he doesnt want to have his family name destroyed.

America is such an awful place with running water, electricity and plenty food and love from mummy compared with the village in Nigeria with no water no electricity, no food that these babies will be used too exposure to harsh enviroment and no parent in sight to comfort them. You are foolish.

snowdrops:
am sorry but the man has a right to relocate his kids to Nigeria.

if this was the other way round and he wanted to send his children to America from Nigeria some of you guys would be silent. hypocrites if you ask me.

The guy is a bad parent. Even worse him and his wife have been barren for a while, finally Gid answers you and the next step is to ship the babies off to crazy grandma in the village!

If she has other children will he ship them off too one by one? There's no big problem she should not even get on that plane he can't make her and he can't take the kids just tell him if he tries it you will call police end of the matter.

I bet this man is holding his wifes passport as well

Moneky leg please read the above posts they have tried that.

I dont agree with the divorce he will just cook something up about her being mentally ill she has to be much smarter than that. She has married a bully its obvious.

Rubbish let her work part time if hes worried about baby sitting fees.

Me and my two younger brothers were born and raised in the UK with one parent! We are proud to be British but we are proud to be Nigerian we know our language and our culture. At the end of the day we cannot change our skin colour or our features and why would we.

This man is a useless parent if your wife does not agree to send your children away then why insist on doing it?
There are many reasons why parents send kids back home.

Many parents who do this want to work evey hour given and not pay childcare costs
Many cant control their kids any longer
Many think the education system is better in Nigeria
Many want them to learn the language etc
Many gain new partners and pack the kids from a previous relationship out to another country


As far as I am concerned you need to think before you have kids no point packing them off to another country when they become too much for you. Even Education wise I dont agree in dumping kids in a borading school and saying yes I will pick you up in 5 years time.

And if this grandmother is already knocking on deaths door whats the guarentee shes going to be well enough to look after these babies?
This is rubbish of the highest order and this wife is crazy to even bother trying to reaon with the bully she married action speaks louder than words

Can grandmother not go over for 5 years to America she can teach them all she wants.  If Grandmother cannot do that then its too bad!  

The mother better wise up she carried those babies for 9months and went thru labour I would never let anyone take my kids away.  It is a myth that they cannot learn the language and the custom while living in America.  Chinese, Indian etc manage it why cant Nigerians?

She needs to forget her job and work part-time if child care is an issue better she gets packs out even if it is temp and what kind of monster is she living with why he wont he listen?

If she hasnt started she better start speaking their language to them. It is a false idea that those babies cannot be bought up properly with their parents.

Rubbish

I dont understand how these silly area boys cant see that their job is pointless.  Only their boss goes on shopping trips around the world, builds new houses and drives new cars.  While they wallow in filth and poverty. Covered in scars they will never own a house never drive a nice car never have peace of mind as they have to watch out for rival gangs all the time.  Most will die young what a pointless life.


I still am in total shock about MC he didnt seem like he had two brain cells to rub togther.  Arent crime bosses intelligent as well as ruthless?

WOW areaboy online superstar zero is about to get nasty!


*rolls eyes*

Martinosi you are over the top and living in a dream world.

Superstar 1 or should I say zero please get a grip and calm down.  Why are people so scared about the truth? Did you even watch the programme?

Which part showed Nigerians badly?  It focused on the organisation of area boys which everyone hates anyway.  Stop being racist just because the reporter is white.  I'm sure if he was black and nigerian you would start talking slick about his tribe.

We need to stop this mentality we need to progress open your eyes people let us face our problems

I had some serious LOL moments.  When the head of the KAI shouted "shut up and dont be stupid" when he was addressing the KAI agents.

And the big bad boy himself MC resting his head like a small child on the chest of some guy sitting next to him.  Does anyone know how he got into power? He doesnt seem very smart.

Some comments here are just pathetic.  Why not do your research first before crying.  There has been Law and Disorder in johnannesburg, law and disorder in philadelphia etc.  Stop acting like you are being made scape goats!

It is the same idiots who will cry that whites were soley responsible for slavery!

I really enjoyed it.

I dont think it was as bad as people were saying it was going to be.

Just goes to show MC does jack s h i t ole oshi.

Funny how he claims to know Fashola yet when Fashola is giving a speech he is standing there in the crowd like everyone else is!

The photoshopped picture was hilarious!

If you missed it watch it again here.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00vcwfw/Louis_Theroux_Law_and_Disorder_in_Lagos/

So mental hospital is allowing patients to use internet?

Bishop Kay are you CRAZY!

Mr Knownothing with all your ranting you have still not given an sensible alternative to what should be done.

Should she keep the stolen goods or what?

Knowall I guess the user name knownothing was already in use when you joined.

Spitting high a level of stupid grammer does not mask the fact that you sir are talking nonsense

martinosi:
She was made a scape-goat, she was singled out, no woman in nigeria has that kind
of cloat to commit such fraud.

Its a Mans WORLD in Nigeria!

This is why we will never progress.  Are you serious? so if we cant get everyone no one should be punished?


*rolls eyes*

Why are people nit picking. Are some trying to say its not fair she got punished (weak punishment)?

Shes not dying shes faking some heart sickness.

The amount she stole is enough to give anyone a heart attack and I am 100% ceratin there is plenty money more stored away somewhere.

1 united are you related to fat arse cow?

This is madness!  

Are they even sure they have found all her dirty money the stupid evil witch. Im sure there is more hidden away.

She needs more than 6months but to be honest I think stripping her of every penny she owes would be the best thing.

Fat greedy cow has apprantly been moved to hospital where they are leaving her till she is well enough to go back to prison rubbish!

Why are you all crying?

1) Have you even seen it?

2) Is it not a fact that Lagos is over run with area boys?

3) its no big deal

We are not being picked on various other countries including america have had these kind of programmes by the same reporter done on them.

Adam: what are those on your chest?
Eve: I dont know
Adam: And where is your meat and two veg?

I don't think smacking should be banned it is needed. But what is needed is parents being educated about disciple. No point beating your child to death yet not giving them structure love and care.

I am grateful for being smacked I am an individual with her own mind. I know my mum loves me she didn't show it much back then. But she made me who I am.

Dayo There is no way your Dad could beat you for 3 hours straight! Was he not tired?

Basics007:
Waoh! Such an interesting thread. Ironically when d OP started seems as if no1 was interested.
I guess my experience is not really different from what a lot of posters have posted so far.
But i remembered a funny one. After a misdemeanor,my mother will call me a monkey then ask me,"what did i just say?"

I swear these parents all went to the same parenting school.  why did they always want you to repeat what they said? 

Or when my mum was smacking us she would repeat each word about 3 times between smacks!

How smack  How smack  How smack  many smack  many smack  times smack  will I tell you this silly smack  silly smack silly wicked  smack wicked child smack

How are you so sure she was dating this old pervert?  Maybe he was sexually abusing her?  One young girl who was sexually abused said it felt good downstairs but bad upstairs refering to her genitials and her head.

Im happy you all havent abandoned her

Ujujoan I agree children are all different my youngest brother was a nightmare he got into trouble the most.

I pity your sister but she needs to let go and not allow it to ruin her life. Its so easy for me to say not going thru what she went thru. Its a shame her intelligence was not spotted earlier and channelled into other things.  Can you not have a honest conversation with her.  Its not fair shes been left to waste away

The amount of greed in almost every aspect of daily life is disgusting.  

No one wants to work hard for money its 419 all the way.

@El it is painful but the key thing now is that it is all well and good us sitinng here myself included counting our parents faults etc.  But what exactly are we going to do to make sure we bring up decent human beings?

I can tell you this no parent is ever going to be perfect but tough love works and it worries me the kind of kids we have nowadays.  Just this sunday my aunty's 4 year old son gave me a dirty look from hell because I told him to stop throwing his sisters bag on the floor. His mother thought it was funny.  To me it was disgusting behaviour.  

when we were younger when we went out we behaved like angels because if you tried it and misbehaved my mum would deal with you once you got home.  I dont agree with some of these parents nowadyas who need to shout and scream at children in public.  Surely if you had been teaching them the correct way to behave while they were with you inside the house there would be no need for them to start disgracing you outside in public!

@EL
Your childhood does not sound normal.  I notice you never mention your mother so obviously there was a lot going on there.  I think from the mistakes our parents made it should in turn should make us better parents.

In as much as I will disciple my children the way my mother discipled us.  I would want my children to be able to talk to me freely about anything.  I do not want to be having boyfriend coversations with a 12 yr old that is a no no.  But I would want them to have enough to courage to know that no matter how bad to talk to me a problem shared is a problem halfed

Ujujoan:
My elder sister had it the roughest of all of us. She wasn't even the first, she was the 3rd. But for some reason, she was just plain stubborn. The more you beat her, the worse she got.

@ 10, she ran away from home.

@ 15, she got pregnant for a married man, had an abortion on her own and almost died from the bleeding.

@ 20, she was in the university, collecting money for school fees and never going for lectures. After 4 years, she graduated, without a degree!

@ 25, she ran away with her BF and we didn't from her for 2 years. She came back, broke, single and jobeless. She had to start life all over!

@ 30, she's single, no meaningful job, has practically no sense of responsibilty and the whole family still take turns to pay for her house rent!

But looking back now, I could just see that she wasn't raised right. What she needed was love and not beatings. She was the sweetest, brightest and most generous of us all. She couldnt cope with the level of discipline and she went haywire. If I can see that now, why couldn't they see it back then    

Now, I just pray she finds her way, cos she's just a poor lost soul!    

I dont mean to attack but this example can never be used as a reason as to why smacking/beating doesnt work.  what your sister lacked was disciple and parental supervision running away was not an option for me I knew my mum would kill me once I returned

To get pregnant at age 15 to me means she had quite a free life because obviously no one knew her whereabouts at all times to me thats crazy she was even able to get an abortion and no one knew until she nearly died.  Dont get me wrong we children we try anything given half the chance but your sister sounds spoilt to me.  The fact no one has told her to get a bloody grip why are you paying her rent? what exactly is wrong with her?