VERY TRUE!

The last one about news bulletin really ticks me off!!!  Nice to know someone else has observed it.

It's all well and good to say it's ok for a woman to retain her maiden name after marriage but if you are a Christian then you need to go and do some studies before jumping on the "bandwagon" of modernism. I used to think it was "cool" to retain or hyphenate until I got the revelation from a teaching. I don’t have the exact scriptural references to hand now but consider these:

the man being the woman’s head and covering. (2 Corinthians)
the man leaves his mother and father to cleave… (Genesis)
the woman came from the man (Genesis)

All these scriptures have a SPIRITUAL SIGNIFICANCE.

When a woman marries a man, whether she likes it or not she takes on the man's “destiny” and “identity” - This is a spiritual law of marriage and it applies to all human beings regardless of faith or culture!!! That’s why you have to make sure he’s going somewhere and/or where you yourself are headed.

Back to the Bible – the woman was created from the man, which suggests that the man is always supposed to be her “source” that is, be responsible for her. Notice that it is the MAN who leaves father and mother to cleave and NOT the woman, suggesting that the woman is always supposed to be under a father’s covering, spiritually, figuratively…etc

So in essence when a woman marries, she “switches” FATHERS. Her husband becomes her “new father” because she is meant to always have a[b] “a father”, [/b] that is, “covering”. Hence the need to drop her maiden name and take on her husband’s name to seal the marriage covenant. YES! Famous surname or not!!
You may think it's just a name but keeping the name of a father who is no longer your covering or hyphenating the names of "two fathers" DISTORTS God's order. So be careful!!

I suppose not everyone will agree with this theory, but if you are a Christian, you need to give this some thought.

1. You cannot stop a child from growing big teeth; however he should have lips
    equally big enough to cover them.

2. Proverbs are the palmoil with which words are eaten (from "Things Fall Apart).

3. [When you are at the stream] the water you are going to scoop in your hand to
    drink will not pass you by.

4. I called you to wash your hands and eat and you ended up taking a bath.

@ Chuxy:

You fall from bicycle, you say you nor lock the door well   

@ doncaster:

There is nothing wrong with introduction. Of course it has its challenges - For one, there is more PRESSURE to transform the relationship into marriage.

My advice:  One of the first quetions you should ask yourself is: If I'd met this person randomly, would I have been attracted to or considered him or her? If the answer is yes, then you may proceed cautiously.

You should not rely soley on the report of the person who introduced you, although it helps, especially if they are people you trust and respect. But you MUST also do your own "homework" and get to know this person as you would have done had you met them randomly.

As for proposing marriage: Of course you still need to "officially" ask her. Even if the intention was there from the on set, you must not enter marriage based on assumption. So it's proper to ask her and get a clear yes or no. Besides, like another poster said, a girl wants to remember the day she was proposed to,  so it'd be unfair to deny her that   
All the best!

habibi777:

12. MR. RIGHT

a. He loves God and takes his relationship with God seriously
b. He is intellectual, brilliant, and capable of taking you there mentally and emotionally
c. He will love you even when you are not lovable
d. He has a career and not a job!
e. He acknowledges his faults and strives to be a better man
f. He understands a relationship is built on a 200% quota - 100% him and 100% you
g. He doesnt have a bunch of kids and babies mommas -
hes smarter than that
h. He is a true best friend and everything you ever wanted in a man
i. He was cute when you met him. But, after spending sometime you see hes fine as hell!
j. He can dress - knows the difference between formal, semi-formal, professional, business casual, casual, and since we are just chilling let me throw on some sweats and a fitted hat.
k. He loves his mother and respects women

Disadvantages
a. You`ve never met him and if you did he already has a girl/ wife OR
b. He really loves being around you and everything is perfect, but he just doesn't fancy you or want a relationship right now

Liefs f@!%ed ain't it?

@ Poster:
Mm-hm. . . You can say that again!!!   

Two and a Half Men . . . I love Charlie Sheen!!

Then, Family Matters - as per old time favourites.

My favourite sections are Romance and Jokes. . . Oooh those witty comments keep me in stitches all day. . . 
I laugh so hard that my colleagues at work often think I've gone "kolomental"  

It helps me keep in touch with the latest gists from Naija and I've also made a new friend recently. . .

Thanks Seun!

jeanbro:

@Lady-Ti
how parol dey roll?

@ jeanbro:
Errr. . . . . like. . . . what 

@ poster:
Like most people have said, you need to find out the circumstances of the child's birth and why your man broke up wth the mother, that is if they're really split up. 

Whether you stay with or leave this man, you need to make an informed decision, NOT a rational one based on emotions or old wives' tales, like your friends are suggesting.

Assuming, you decide to stay, you will need to come to a mutual agreement a.s.a.p as to what role he expects you to play in the life of this child, especially if you intend to get married to him. You did not tell us how old the child is. That will have some bearing on the matter, because the older the more challenging to win over. Challenging, yes, but not impossible.

Also, you must be sure that your man and the child's mother are no longer emotionally involved - then, set clearly defined boundaries, as to the level of access she has in your lives. By that I mean, she cannot "use" the child as an excuse to barge into your lives whenever she so pleases. There MUST be ground rules from the onset!
At the same time, you must also regard her role as the child's mother and give her the respect due her. And don't assume the stereotypical "wicked step-mother" role by resenting the child because s/he is innocent in all of these. Above all, PRAY for God to lead you.

All the best and keep us posted!

uf4oma:

jeanbro at it again, doing what he knows how to do best. Carry gooooo. Lady Ti, you dey see omoza?

@ uf4oma:
My sista, nor mind the yeye boy!!  Woman wrapper!! 
As for the babe wey we be wan arrange for am . . .  odiodi for am!!

@ uf4oma:
You talk am well. . . make we just hope say that hair nor go fear the babe   

Oya jeanbro, begin arrange yourself!

jeanbro:

all thesame she is from your side that makes her my in-law automatically!!!
My tribe??. . . . . Wafi by nature . . .

@jeanbro:
Na wa o! So you don't want to give up, abi?

So tey. . . you're even claiming Waffi by force  . Ok, let's negotiate. . .
Maybe uf40ma and I should find you a nice Waffi babe. . .

@ uf4oma:
Abi how you see am my sista? 

@ the guys:
Some of your points are noted. . .

For example:

@tomX:

For me, I realy hate the part where women think we ought to be mind readers
Lady: Dear, we realy need to talk.
Guy: OK, what about?
Lady: (5 minutes of Silence).
Guy: I realy have to get back to work. lets talk some other time.
Lady: Don't you want to know whats bothering me// I guess ypu don't care.
Guy: I care a lot babe. So what's bothering you.
Lady: (Sighs, Silence, Sighs, More Silence)
Guy: Tell me nowwwww.
Lady: Forget it.
Guy: Ok.
Lady: You are heartless! (Storms out).

please give me a clue ladies. what was that all about?

@ tomX:
Got to admit - you got us there. It happens sometimes and I guess it's annoying.
Can't explain it - may be we just love attention   -  But point taken. . .

So, is there a similar thread for us ladies? And if not, would one you care to start one coz I'm sure the ladies also have a thing or two to say to you lot. . . It's only fair!

@ poster:
PARANOIA I say!!!!

As for the topic of your thread - I read it! What're you going to do about it??!!   

jeanbro:

I no get choice but to be nice with you !you be my in-law eh no lele

Shuo!  See as dis bobo just dey upgrade e levels o!   

jeanbro:

am strictly nIgeRiAn I no get tribe

@ jeanbro:
No such thing! So get real 

Hmmm, as a girlfriend NO! I wouldn't allow it!
As a wife, I wouldn't mind, say if I was ill. . .

@ uf4oma:
Uunnn. . . that's so sweet. Hope it goes well. . .

My sista, I just ba for some of them o. . . Them think say na every girl for Nairaland them fit toast. Them nor know say na "monkey by grade"    

Anyway, I'll holla you some time via email!

jeanbro:

Love is a free gift and so do I give it excessively freeeeee but Lady-Ti is my first love

@ jeanbro:
Nor be only!!! Say who dash monkey banana?  

jeanbro:

@ Lady-Ti

My weekend wasn't complete without you baby!miss you so much

@ jeanbro:
Ha Ha - Very funny!!!

[/quote]
I like to kiss alot and I have wondering hands that needs deliverance   thats for touch
[quote]

uf4oma:

Touch, touch and more touch. Just touch me, hug me, kiss me, hold me, stroke my hair, take my hand unexpectedly.

jeanbro:

wow I really love that think we are best match

@ jeanbro:
You can say that again!!! 

@ uf4oma:
As you can see, this bobo dey gree your own o --- What do you say? 
Judging from your name, I take it you're Urhobo?? Well, so am I! How u dey?

The day I say "I do" and the day I give birth   OH JOY!!! - Sorry, couldn't choose one above the other 

@ hitsales:
Great advice. Only just stumbled on it today. Nice to know there are people out there who believe in building positive relationships. I'm surprised people have not responded Anyway, I look forward to seeing the remaining parts. Nice one!

I've always maintained that I could never date/marry a man younger than me. I prefer an older man - ideally 5 - 10 years older - because women mature faster than men. This is an ideal situation BUT there are exceptions to every rule. So to avoid missing out on my blessing, I have reached a compromise ahead of time, that if I met a younger man, I would consider it if:

  - he's just a few months  younger [or at most a year]

  - I only found out his age after I've gotten to know/like him

  - it's not obvious in terms of physical appearance, that he is younger.
    Don't want to be looking like no man's mama 
    (Well, shouldn't be a problem because people always think I'm 10 years
    younger than my actual age -  blessed or what?   )

  - most importantly - if it doesn't bother him one bit that I'm older and
    he is as mature [or even better, more mature] spiritually,
    emotionally, mentally, financially --- etc

jeanbro:

@ Lady-Ti

I beg ask her to take one or more of the five languages (strictly between the five), you know who am talking about "no name callings" thats the clue

@ jeanbro:
This una "quarrel" never finish? I don tire to shook my mouth put o   
Fellow Nairalanders, you guys should help me beg them now 

debosky:


PS Is this Lady Ti the same as LadyT of a couple of months back

@ debosky:
NO! We're 2 different people - just similar names. Why do you ask   

Siena:


But at the back of my mind will be lurking the possibility he would not be satisfied with me as a woman, and he'll revert to his previous lifestyle.

@ Siena:
I feel exactly thesame way---- but I also can't help feeling that it's a "double standard". Because on the one hand, I would be pleased to see that a brova has changed his ways, but then again, I will find it hard to completely ignore his past---- Well, I suppose there are women out there who wouldn't mind, so he just has to find one---- Come on ladies, let's hear your views!

This is directed mainly at the ladies on the forum, but hey guys are welcomed to contribute:

You meet a man who tells you he was involved in homosexual relationship(s) in the past, but he no longer subscribes to that lifestyle. Whether we accept it or not, there are many people out there hoping and praying for their son, brother, friend --- etc to turn around, but how does society view/receive such people afterwards? Would you have any reservations about dating or marrying such a man? And if so, why?

P.S:  This thread is not intended to bash gay people. I believe everyone is entitled to their views on homosexuality. My stand is that I disagree with the practice but I don't hate the "person", so spare me the "homophobic  lecture"!!! This is a reality of life which some people may have to deal with one day, so let's be mature in our responses.
Thank you.

rossy4life:

Nigerians love superstition so much. To be sincere I love waist beads and I'm obsessed with them to the point that I can't stand removing them, it's always been on me from childhood and i keep adding to them. presently i have 32small beads round my waist.

@ rossy4life: I agree with you.
It is true that people may have perveted the fashion of wearing beads but that goes for everything else. People can decide to put their charms in other fashion items like necklace, bracelets---etc

Beads are more of a cultural thing - I grew up in Delta State and it was very fashionable for young girls in my village to wear them and I've been meaning to start wearing them again. I just haven't found the right type. Like one poster said, it's best to have a few so they don't  look tacky. 

I absolutely love them!!! Of course, if my husband is not keen on them when I get married I will let them go but for now, I think they are SEXY!!

@ toshmann:

This is a wonderful thraed and I just thot to drop a word of encouragement. I hope other Nairalanders plug in to this very soon:

"Father we thank You for our great nation, Nigeria. The government of Nigeria is upon Your shoulders. We thank you for where You have brought us us from and where you are taking us. We know that Your thoughts towards us are of good and not of evil. We pray that You give wisdom to our leaders to establish Your will in the land. Thank You for the good changes we have seen so far and many more to come---- in Jesus' name!!! AMEN!! "

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies ------ Listen up!

Men are HUNTERS by nature. So forget all these feminism/21st century nonsense!!!
We are not designed to chase [especially not in the first instance]. Men always get a sense of achievement and satisfaction in knowing that they worked hard to get you. Any man who says otherwise is just a "vulture" or a "weakling" looking for an easy lay. You need a man who is like an "eagle" - with the ability to select and hunt down his choice meat! Ladies, please keep your dignity and don't do it!!!

efuah:

better O! i nearly came 4 your head 4 crossing my sis

@ efuah: 

jeanbro:

@ iice

text can be more complicated than word we speak in person, don't get me wrong am not trying to make you feel bad with words its all joke,not even sure you understand yoruba, am really sorry.

@ iice: the guy has said he is sorry  ----- my sista, make you 4give am, enh?