1Rolake: Please I need nairalanders advice. I'm in dilemma.
I'm sorry the story is long please take your time and sorry for any mistakes.
My sister and her husband got married late 2018, she was pregnant then. Few months after their marriage the husband lost his job. He was sacked because he embezzled over 5m from his company.
Note: he dated my sister for only a year before their marriage and only bought a phone (infinix) for my sister during their courtship. He has no car nor a house from this money.
We got to know that he is a chronic gambler. He can bet 200k on a single game.
For 2 years he was out of job, my sister supported him and never complained, we also do not have problem in my family. We didn't even act as if we know that he was out of job for that 2yrs. After my sis gave birth the MIL stayed with them for a year with my sister footing the bills, the MIL eats only Amala every night and my sister covers every damn expenses and still cook for the house. She takes care of her family without complaints.
The problem is that the husband is never satisfy, never appreciate my sis for a day and always complain anytime she did not cook for those 2yrs. He has pushed my sister to collect loans of 40k twice from LAPO without paying back. He sold almost all the properties at home for betting, they have no TV, nor fridge.
In late 2021 he got a job in a restaurant with a salary of 80k and he promised to be given my sister 25k every month. Since then until now he has never given my sister 1penny from the 25k, he has never bought a clothe nor shoe for his child since he was born. He use his salary to either womanize or Bet. He has borrowed money in almost all the loan apps and my sister keep receiving messages from this loan apps almost everyday, I've also received a message from them before. Their landlord asked then to leave his house because they couldn't pay for house rent and he kept receiving messages from this loan Apps too. He doesn't talk to my sister, they live as neighbors in the house. They only share greetings at home unless he wants to ask my sister for money. They behave as strangers, always shut my sister off.
His company kept 150k with him for 2days and he used the money to play betting not until they start chasing him with calls before he borrowed the money from his sister to settle the bills.
He no longer go to work again, he told my sister yesterday that he has resigned because he's working on a project that will give him twice his investment. We're suspecting that he was sacked (job not up-to 6months)
So last year I advised my sister to start a Thrift so that she can be saving her money and use the money to start a business this year.
My sis called me today and told me that her husband has resigned. He no longer go to work and I advised her to get an apartment outside and give the man space. She has advised him so many times, pray for him, supported him. Uptil today we've never questioned the man, we just want him to treat my sis right but he's not ready to change.
Please nairalanders what do you think we can do? Do you think I gave my sister the right advice?
I don't really want my sis to divorce her husband. But she cries almost everyday.
You're asking for advice to a question you already know the answer to..things will not get any better it'll only get worse for your sister if she continues staying with him...hope it won't be too late before she see the reality
gazeup1: I created this new handle to hide my identity.
I got married 11 years ago. We both started working before we got married, but my salary was way above my wife's own. I was earning 195k while she was on 108k when we got married, after my MSC, I was promoted and started to earn 350k, this got to me and I started to misbehave, I was doing all sorts and would insult the hell outa her. As the cry cry girl, she would cry, and thereafter I would hear her praying. At times she would say she will one day be greater than me. That to me was an impossibility.
I can't even remember ever giving her money for home keep but we never lacked food at home (we delayed before having kids, so I don't see the need for me to give her monthly money and she never asked). I started giving her after we had kids. She agreed when I told her her money was for the home and mine for investment, but I never included her name in my properties. she knows this as well.
After our kids, it became very demanding, coupled with her office not increasing her pay, she resigned, and that was when I felt the impact of her income. Meanwhile, her pay was reduced to about 80k and mine was increased to like 600k as at when she resigned. In one month I started asking her to return back to her work as to me I was not ready to foot her bills, she never even asked for money, she would even say what I gave her is left 5k or more self at the end of the month.
Now her new journey - When I started disturbing about going back to her former office or getting a new job, she said never and asked me to stop giving her money but go to market to buy food myself. In less than 4 months to her resignation she started talking about online job here and there, I thought it was a scam so I warned her. One day, I was in the office when she said she needs me to help her wit the best laptop to buy, I tried to talk her down on buying one but she ended the call on me.
I got home to see her with a new laptop. fast forward, she paid for a training on how work from home without my knowledge, got her first job of about $200, I also washed her down on going that low for such an amount but she said it was better than her former 80k job, before I knew it, she started talking about $1,000, now it's $3,000, to $4,000 monthly. I earn lower than #1M, my wife gets over #2M monthly working from home. She helped me finished my house project, very transparent and would not hide any $ she earns.
I have not been able to forgive myself of all the things I did to her, the insults, talking down on her but in a way I think I pushed her to become who she is now. I remembered when she asked back then to open a joint account with her, I laughed her to scorn, like how would the ratio be. she saved over 6M and credited my account with everything, just for us to complete our home. I can't even produce 1M.
She doesn't seem hurt, but sometimes she reminds me of those words, I have never officially told her sorry neither have I really changed because I am just like that, I don't mean evil. I wanted her to braze up and never stay low.
Married, men, please how do I ask for her forgiveness? I don't think we have up to 2% of her type out there.
Look at your last paragraph...you mean you know this and you have the impunity to come here and ask us for advice...you must be very stupid.. I don't blame you, I blame her for marrying a slowpoke like you..infact between she marrying you and you saying all this here..I don't know whose more stupid..if to say na my sister come tell me this kind story WORD FOR WORD..my advice to her would have been a very dirty slap. Lemme ask you if your father did all Thai to your mother and you knew all this....will you love your dad the more or call your own mother a fool... Tell us your answer here sincerely before it enters your empty brain to get angry at the truth am saying and want to vent your childish anger back at me... Kai...this boy just spoil my mood this evening Sha...
I have a year plus Gsd..crazy Dog. Don kill five of my neighbors turkeys and ate them RAW..when in a cage and a stranger enters and he starts barking, he'll starting biting his cage made of wood to tear it apart and attack you..trust me the sight of that film no go wan make u come back.. he's developed a fine taste of blood.don bite even my own kids..na only me and my wife dey near am..even at that he change am for my wife one day when I traveled and one of my neighbors turkey stroll pass him change and he grabbed it and started eating it immediately, my wife quickly tried to pry the bird from him mouth...see changing...she jus leave am jejely...when samething happened when I happened to be around, I took it without issues 2 different times..he dey chance my 7 months full breed boerboel Wei big big pass am and stronger..so like someone said here it's HEREDITARY
My friend shut up there!!! He dump you for another babe abi?.....Good.... I wish I can get this girl's Twitter handle or something lemme give her a piece of my mind's and stop thinking with that useless gutter between her legs
I want to use this medium to seek for your advice..
Me and my wife has been together since 2014, although we have not done marriage as we only did introduction, but we planned having our marriage this year, we had two kids, but I think right now I'm not comfortable living with my wife.
I am not enjoying this relationship anymore, she keeps beating me whenever there is quarrel between us, she is fond of slapping me and giving me punches, at times she makes use of wire and and broom to scatter my head.
The one that happened on Monday is really giving me much concern, she checked my phone and saw a friend I was chatting with and instead of her to ask me about the lady, the next thing she did was to slap me and she started beating me to the extent of having right hand dislocation.. It's not as if she can beat me if I decided to fight back, I don't want to raise my hand on a woman, it's a curse and I don't want to do that, this is getting out of hand and I am not living comfortable at home again, we sleep on different bed, she doesn't allow me touch her again.
She is even planning to get a room by ending of this month when she gets her salary.. I told my sister about her behavior, the advice she gave me is that I should beat the hell out of her whenever she raises her hand to beat me.
I have pleaded with my wife to let us continue the way we have been doing before but she wouldn't listen to me.
I am really confused and I don't know what to do right now..
I need your advice my great people of Nairaland.
My brother it's either; A. You beat beta Blue black sense into her or B. You pack and save your life No Plan C..
Hi, I need to buy WAEC scratch card for my daughter today..any credible and useful info my be appreciated.. or any credible source who sells here can drop his or her number or contact me on 08082626462(WhatsApp too) Tnx
Vinnie2000: So I visited my young Married friend and we were watching a movie where Christopher Okagbue (one handsome Guy that won GUS in 2012 or 2013) showed up.. Suddenly, my friend's Wife said 'Oh, see my Crush'..
Was surprised. My friend Did not say anything!. Whether he was Angry or not, I don't even know!..
But I was really Surprised and somewhat Confused! Because some Singles Might have the likes of Genevieve, Nancy Isime, Beverly Naya, Ronaldo, Wizkid, RMD, etc as Celebrity crushes!
After Marriage, Are They still going to be Crushing on these People?
But, Really. Is it Right or Responsible for a Married person to have a Celebrity Crush?
Please Move to FP for further deliberation on this Issue! Thanks!..
Oga it's normal...I have a crush on GABRIELLE UNION AND CHARLIZE THERON and my wife and grown up daughter whose 19 years know this wella
So I'm presently at a phone Engineer shop trying to repair the screen of my wife's phone. This gentlemen walks in and complains of the voice assistant speaking all the time. Instantly I knew someone( maybe his kids) had tampered with the accessibility settings meant for blind people etc.
This engineer spoke out my thoughts to the man and charged him 2k.. I weak. The man pay o.. something wei no go take me 5 seconds...d man beg to 1k, this engineer no gree...the man pay the money... I just shook my head and dey laugh for my mind
TransZite: Good morning all I need an Acura mdx expert to fix my 2008 Acura mdx.it consumes to much fuel and Emmit black smoke.please contact of a qualified mechanic is needed.
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I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.
However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.
My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.
She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.
I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage.
I get very upset when I see posts like this.." my mum forced me to marry her, my mum this, my mum did that.you didn't seek the advice to other people... How in the world can you ever hope to be happy with a woman you didn't love in the first place. To crown it all,you claim she has a bad character. Who knows the problem might even be you. Oh by the way.. divorce na sin..if you marry another woman..that's adultery till you grow old and die and then head to hell fire. Carry your cross till kingdom come
Vinnie2000: Bbnaija Season 6 is Finally Coming to an End on Sunday, October 3rd!! It is a BIG relief for Critics Who call the show Soft Porn, Satanic Show, Show for Pussy ass Niggar,etc.. Sunday Will be their Christmas Day!!
Despite Criticisms, There are Lots to Learn from d Show aside the Tasks and Presentations!!
I Give you 10 Life Strong Life Lessons to be learnt from dis Season 6!!
1. BE FIRM AS A LEADER During Pere Reign as HOH, He was Firm in dealing with the housemates! He demanded Obedience and Did his Part by conducting affairs Properly.. Fans called him Idi Amin, Abacha, BuPere,etc but @the end, his housemates respected him as a Leader!!
2. DO NOT CRITICIZE A PERSON TOO MUCH When you do this, You unknowingly Create Sympathy and likeness for that Person.. People called Angel, Ashawo, BF Snatcher, Okpo, etc but some persons Felt this was Bullying and Started to Like her!
3. SHOWCASE YOUR GOOD TALENTS.. WhiteMoney is such a Great Cook! Dude showed he can cook African and Intercontinental Dishes, effortlessly..It won him Lots of Fans!
4. DO NOT TRUST A PERSON COMPLETELY. Pere trusted n helped Saga all throughout the Show only for Baba to Betray@the Dying minutes..
5.DONT TAKE SIDES WHEN PPLE FIGHT. When Pere and WhiteMoney had dier Tiff, Cross sided WM and promised to Beat Pere..But he later became friends with Pere n ditched WM..
6. DO NOT OVERDO ACTS.. When you do Something and Pple applaud you, know when to Calm down.. Slawormiir doesn't OverDo things. Sometimes, he will just Type 'Damn Nigga, Issorite'.. Angel went overboard with her Sexuality/Ashawo vibes when she Flashed her Veejay! That action alone cost her lots of Fans!
7. TRY MAINTAIN CALMNESS IN TENSE SITUATIONS. On the First Eviction Week, When Yerins and Beatrice were Possessed n Shaken by Fear, Yousef was Calm and went about his business cooly..Outer Display of Fear Gives you Away and Makes you so Vulnerable!!
8. DO NOT BRAG OR OVER-PROMISE! Michael came and Wowed viewers, Saying he will be a Tornado in the House! Within 2 days, he turned to a lightless Breeze and Disappointed Everyone! Better not Promise@All..
9. FIGHT IF YOU HAVE THE POWER TO! If you have the Resources to go War with a Person(competitor), Do not Hesitate to do so! NEVER fold ur arms! Pere quickly targetted WM, Forced him to a Squabble, thereby Making WhiteMoney somewhat Afraid or@least Respectful of him!!
10. BE FOCUSED AND DISCIPLINED! If you must achieve a Great Goal, Focus and Discipline should be your watchword..WM has Stayed Focussed in the Game! He Never veered from his Strategy/Plan@All.. This is Something to Learn from!!
So Dats it! In Life, We Learn Everyday! We can learn from TV Programmes, EPL, Telemundo, Bbnaija, GUS, etc!
Hi.. Lalasticlala, Please Let this Post Hit FP! Thank you,Sire!!
You mean you're learning life lessons from a useless programme that has not added any meaningful thing to your own life...it simply shows your life is already in the drainage so your looking for a means to lift yourself up in any way...lemme suggest other ways; 1. Create a GO FUND ME on nairaland...Beg as if your life depends on it 2. Read the Bible and begin to meditate day and night 3. GIVE YOUR LIFE TO CHRIST 4. Pray that every generational curse, that will make you see BBnaija as a yardstick to make it in your mom existent life,the Lord should uproot them away... 5. Every generational curse,from your mother side or father side that will make you watch BbNaija from henceforth should be destroyed 6. Pray that God should BLIND you from watch BbNaija..your eyes should go blind once it comes to anything BBnaija
Family › Re: I Advised My Sister To Give Her Husband Space by laluski(m): 10:31pm On Feb 04, 2022
