₦airaland Forum

kelechi50:
In conclusion, when sealing a marriage contract, it is what you do not have that you should be looking for.

Dangote daughters should look for poor guys

Why will anybody be looking for poverty if that is what you mean?. They have something they need just like everybody does and someone struggling financially might have that thing.

What should you marry for?.

Marriage is like a business partnership with partners having equity. Each partner is bringing something to the table that will benefit the business and the other partners.
A prospective marriage partner, whether male or female, must have value that the other person needs and that is what makes a marriage.
Women on the overall have the intrinsic value of being the only means by which the next generation can be birthed. In the olden days, if most of the men were killed in war and the women all survive, the next generation will be guaranteed. The intrinsic value of men is in providing for the family, leadership for the nation and family because they are stronger etc.
If you are very poor, then your ideal partner should be of means. If you are very rich, your ideal partner is a good manager. If you are a struggling business man seeking growth, your ideal partner is who can bring growth for your business etc etc.
In conclusion, when sealing a marriage contract, it is what you do not have that you should be looking for.

Sirianese:
Are you a Muslim?

No. That should be obvious from the tone of the post

48 hours maybe too short. Then there must be government ranches where seized cattle will be taken to

MaxInDHouse:
Only politics leads to wars no religion has that in their agenda but when politicians wants to have their way they can use anything within their reach.

The founder of Christianity said to his followers:

"Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. Matthew 10:16

And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these. Mark 12:31

But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. Luke 6:27-28

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. John 13:35-35

If after all these you still think people are killing people for this man then you are a joker!

Yes politicians use anything within their reach and if religion did not exist it would not be within their reach. Politicians don't indoctrinate, religious leaders do. Religion is just one new excuse for human beings to hate, fight and kill each other

HeatSeeker:
Thr ancient Sumerians, Mesopotamians, Egyptians, and even the Babylonians conquered nations in the name of their gods. Holy wars have been fought numerous times before the Christians became prominent. This your line of argument is because you were conquered by the Abrahamic faithful and you can't live with it.

Jihads and crusades are innovations of Islam and Christianity. Before then when cultures encounter each other, their spirituality can rub off on each other especially if one is learning the other's language but they never did believe or perish. There was no proselytizing. There was no abandon your theology and follow mine or else God will deal with you. That started with Christianity.

In Europe there is a saying 'The Saxon's choice- Baptism or death. 100k people were burnt at the stakes in Europe for being witches practicing wiccan

HeatSeeker:
Please...

Wars have been fought in the name of God since time immemorial. There was nothing new with the Christian spin on it and when it became too much, the Christians jettisoned the idea completely. The Islamists on the other hand have refused to let it go.

African traditional religion has run its course in the consciousness of the African. No matter how much people like you cling to it for its "so called" wisdom, the fact remains that it failed to protect its adherents from invasion of foreign religious ideas and slavery.

The truth is bitter.

No war was ever fought in the name of God before Christianity. Check again. It started with Christianity. However I am not counting Judaism because they don't proselytize. Jews also killed on behalf of God but it was also to seize territory as well.

HeatSeeker:
The bolded comment is deeply false.

If you have a problem with Christianity, it's fine, but that shouldn't lead you to spew out falsehoods.

From a historical perspective, Christianity was on the receiving end for the most part of the Roman empire until the tide turned in their favour with the conversion of the Roman Emperor.

Unlike Islam, Christianity has the credit of outgrowing it's violent phase of evolution. Something which Islam has consciously refused to do.

If your African traditional religion was easily uprooted by Christianity (even though Islam came to Nigeria first and has been problematic ever since) then you should question the potency of your professed beliefs.

False?. How?. Do you know any other thing people fought wars over apart from territory before the outbreak of Christianity?. I agree with you on the history of Christianity. Before blaming Islam, realize that Mohammed believed in the virgin birth and prophet hood of Jesus Christ. This can only mean he was converted by Christians. He only formed his own sect by adding his own flavor. The foundation of Islam is Christianity

Christians are still violent. It is just coded. They ostracize people who leave the fold and the desperate ones among them use assassins on opponents

Marriages around me

My late Dad who would have been 84 this year had 7 siblings and they all have stable marriages except two sisters that chose to have kids without men. One in the UK and one in Nigeria

My late mum had six siblings and only one now late married twice and her second marriage was stable.

I have five siblings, one unmarried and one married twice with the second marriage stable. My other siblings have solid marriages.


Kobojunkie give us your own data

Fenrir:
But to be honest you dont have a living wage in Nigeria, having a job here for citizens is basically slavery last time I checked minimum wage here was like £30-£33 per month where as in most of Europe its something around £15 hour minimum but im not sure to be honest I only worked for 12 years in the military for an inheritance

The deal was sacrifice my 20s serving an armed force and never need to work again, 12 years grafting and risk for potentially 50 or 60 relaxing and having fun was a fair trade in my head

Yes we have problem of wage slavery in the country and that low minimum wage is not even enforced, many get paid lower. That is why I said the people suffering in the country are mainly the employees of the informal sector.
You got yourself a good deal. However you are working since no work is bigger than a PhD. Try and do more.

Whalis:
The enforcement is not there.

Then they need to explain to Macban why it must be there henceforth. To save lives. The states need to establish ranches to be taking the seized cattle to, it will show they are serious

Fenrir:
So £22,500 roughly, see what i mean, broke

What is good that outside Nigeria, on a global standard £32,000 per year is the 1%

But by a European or American or Australian standard anything £100,000 its the top 1%

With two thousand dollars a year in Ilesa here as a single person you might live better than someone with 30k dollars per annum in New York. Rent and/or mortgage is the problem in high income countries. The sector has inflated their economies

Fenrir:
What about the issues with the pension system?

Mate ive been in Nigeria long enough to see what happens most times you dont actually get it because some pencil pusher ends putting it in his account and doing a runner so at that point you lose everything you worked for

Who keeps reporting me on this topic? I keep getting banned for like 30 minutes at a time

The problem with the pension system is the inordinate naira devaluation due to inflation. The forum has anti spam bot that does not work properly. That is what is interfering with your posts. It did the same to me two days ago on another thread

Whalis:
Some states or most states have done that but it is not working. Have you heard anything from Edo recently? Join the dots.

I have not heard of any state confiscating cattle but some have made laws against open grazing.

MightySparrow:
Muslims are being deceived by the 'quranic' verse Allah does not beget or begotten. Allah has four daughters. Allah of Arabs was being worshipped by licking the stone. The stone itself predates Islam. Facing ka'aba predates Islam.

I once asked a question here on Nairaland: 'why did Allah abandon the children of Ishmael for so long before Mohammad?'

I agree with you. Then Ishmael who was born in Egypt/Palestine area by Abraham five thousand years ago and who never left the place as far as we know can't be an ancestor of Arabs. That was just a fabrication by Mohammed

Fenrir:
Mate Nigeria is the richest African country based on GDP, but Nigerians are actually broke, you are all poor because that how your government wants it

Egypt has a lower GDP than Nigeria but the average citizen makes alot than the average Nigerian citizen and I have done my research the average marriage here ends in 3-5 years after the wedding day

It is not really that bad. The average Nigerian often would own their own homes paid up before age 50 whether they are an artisan or small business owner. If they are working somewhere it may be a bit later. Here in Ilesa where I stay there is more or less no homelessness and more or less none existent or very rare poverty. I have been unémployed since 2022 but I live alone in a 4 bedroom 4 bath house and my lifestyle that costs less than one thousand dollar per annum will cost 30k dollars in high income countries. I know families of three kids two parents whose income in total is not up to 700k per month(I am not sure of their new Tinubu salaries) and they have kids in private schools including private university. They live in their own home. The high income world have problems we don't have.
The country is bad mainly for people who are employees in the unorganized private sector

MightySparrow:
Allah was being worshipped in ka'aba before Mohammad. The Zamzam well was dug by Abdulmutallib, Mohammed grandfather before Mohammad was called. Pilgrims had been visiting Mecca and Black Stone was being kissed long before Mohammad.

Mohammed muddled Jewish scriptures and Arabian idolatory practices to form Islam. When you study the history of of Islam, it hinges on one subject: land grabbing and rulership by Arabs.

You can watch Yoruba Heritage TV and Ile Kewu TV.
You will learn so much by the Alfas explaining the dubious arabic language they use to deceive unsuspecting, innocent, ignorant worshippers.

You are right but the Allah known to Mohammed's parents is the Arabic rendition of Olodumare of the Yoruba. He is the supreme deity and he even had daughters according to Arab stories. He is not the loner Allah of Islam who supposedly created the world without helpers.

Omexonomy:
the people you call bororo are the owners of Nigeria. every APC governors bow before them, all politicians bow before them so who are you to complain

If I were governor, I would call them to a roundtable in my state and give them a deadline and Amotekun will take over. They are being killed too.

Whalis:
Defend yourself...Danjuma

Defend yourself is a fire brigade approach. It is better to ban open grazing and start confiscating cattle

HeatSeeker:
Is that what Ifa said? 🤔

IFA is never consulted when there is clarity.

The Bororo must abandon their nomadic lifestyle.


The Bororo or cattle Fulani are currently the largest nomadic group on Earth. Other cultures all over the world have largely abandoned the nomadic lifestyle. It is high time the Bororo became settled and quit following cattle around. The town Fulani have to join hands with the Bororo to end the nomadic lifestyle. Nations with more cattle per capita than Nigeria and with less land do not use the open grazing system that the Bororo use in Nigeria and which has made it customary for hundreds if not thousands to die yearly so that cattle can eat. What cattle eat is known and all a cattle ranch will need are pickups or mini trucks to be collecting fodder or hay all over the country and a water source. If other countries are doing it, then it should be done in Nigeria as well. The Bororo need to end their nomadic lifestyle and become town or city dwellers so that life will not pass them by and so that they can be good and responsible citizens.
This is the only way to end the incessant killings and reprisals going on between farmers and the Bororo. The states do not need to wait for the federal government. They should meet with the herders and give them a deadline after which any cattle being grazed in the open will be confiscated and taken to state owned ranches by forest guards. This is the only way the incessant wastage of human lives can be halted.
Open grazing have to be banned and the Bororo must become settled.

manck:
ijesa dies not have that

Ijesa will be close to 200

The killings will not abate until open grazing is banned.

Number of settlements should exceed that because Ijesa land alone may have close to that. However urban centers will be a handful

PlayerMeji:
In the Quran, if Adam was the first man created and he was the first prophet...who did God send him to deliver his message to?

Another question begging for an answer

Does Islam predate Mohammed?.

The idea spread by Islam is that Islam is an age long religion and that the religion of Adam the first man according to the Quran was Islam.
However, logic says otherwise. Given that there have always been people in all cultures who don't worship idols (just like there are whole cultures like Judaism and Zoroastrianism that don't), these people were not at variance with Idolators. They did not abuse or pick on Idolators. They did not say Idolators are violating the law of God by worshipping idols. They did not fight jihads. They did not have a holy land. They did not have a last prophet. They also did not hold themselves separate from other people. They didn't observe the Ramadan and they didn't pray five times daily. Given that they blended easily and completely with their community, it will therefore be wrong to refer to them as Muslims. Muslims tend to be troublemakers wherever they are. Mohammed was the first Muslim and only prophet of Islam. This is what logic says.

One thing is if Fenrir did his sampling among very poor people, he will record more failed marriages and spouse abuse. All my family members have stable marriages and their children are doing well.

Kobojunkie:
1. It is OK to hold an opinion, but denying the facts is something entirely different. Marriages in even Yoruba land— since this discussion is about Yorubaland— are in terrible straits. The abandonment rate reveals this to anyone paying attention.

2. No, since Yorubaland does not make up the whole of Nigeria.

3. Yes, he did say that, but made sure to telescope down to the Yoruba culture, not Bini, Efik, Hausa, Egbira, etc.— in particular.

4. The Colonial mess is an attempt by folks like you to shirk responsibility for the mess created by your ancestors, and current traditional and religious leaders. He was clear, you all need to stop doing that nonsense already!

5. You did no such thing!

Well, he probably did research, so he maybe right if the research was well done about marriages in Yoruba land but I know that in a place like the USA, Nigerians are known for their strong family values.

I meant that I pointed out ethnic rivalry as a causative factor for the malaise in Nigeria. I believe it is, maybe you dont.

Would you say France was not looming over Francophone west Africa until recently?. If you say Britain has not been looming over Nigeria you would be wrong. I am doing my best that I can offer for the country and overtime I have learnt many things. I used to think we over flog the issue of neo colonialism but I was wrong.
We stand on the mistakes and exploits of our ancestors. There were great men and faulty men among them.

Kobojunkie:
1. And?

2. Nonsense! What in the world do you mean they can be contested?

3. Focus! This thread isn't about Nigeria but about issues the OP raised of his research and observations about the Yorubas culture and belief systems. Stop deviating.

I mean I don't agree that marriages here are the worst in the world.
Then the discussion is about Nigeria. He pointedly said Nigerian men have made a mess of the country and I pointed out that the mess is a colonial mess and the rivalry among ethnic groups is a contributory factor to the malaise. I agree with him that if a country is bad you blame the men but I pointed out an important causative factor.

Ideologies and the future of humanity.

A major downside of civilization or city living is religion or ideologies in general. Religion is spiritual ideology while other non spiritual ideologies exist. If people are not living together in great numbers, there will be little opportunity to brainwash them in any particular direction. They would be more of freethinkers.
We are a collaborative species. We advance greatly by working together. For us, it is a case of if one can solve one hundred problems, then two working together will be able to solve ten thousand. That is the multiplier effect of collaboration.
Nothing is more poisonous to civilization than ideologies and ideologies thrive when people live together in great numbers and unless people live together in great numbers and collaborate accordingly, advancement will be slow. People fight and kill each other over ideologies.
Ideologies were not prominent on Earth before the coming or outbreak of Christianity. I can hardly think of anything that drove people to hate, fight and kill each other outside the control of territory before religion. Before Christianity, wars were fought largely only over territory.
Since Christianity we have had non spiritual ideologies like Capitalism and socialism in the economic or nation building sector added to the fray for which people died during the cold war.
As a community, we must be on the lookout for ideologies to be able to nip them in the bud before they fester because they are like brain cancer. A good starting point is to teach kids to question everything.

Kobojunkie:
Nonsense! There is everything harmful about the culture as is highlighted by the facts of life and living in yorubaland even today. Stop making generalized statements out of ignorance/blindness abeg!

2. Inner ethnic rivalry that exists even between those who claim to be Yorubas, you conveniently ignore,abi? Nonsense! Stop trying to shift blame, abeg .

The major reason he hates Yoruba men is they expect to be prostrated to during the wedding of their daughters. Marriages here even last longer than global average so the other issues about marital rape etc that he raised can be contested. I don't accept that it occurs more here.

I agree that there is rivalry between Yoruba subgroups and that we can deal with the rivalry in Nigeria no matter how long it takes but it will still be a colonial state using English. It will still be a successor of the British empire. The Hausa, Yoruba, Igbo etc are big enough to stand on their own two feet in the United Nations using their own languages. However the rivalry among Yoruba subgroups is not unhealthy. The rivalry in Nigeria is totally unhealthy. There are often fatal clashes and etc. Security first.

Kobojunkie:
I nailed it, didn't I? 🤔

You lot will resort to any tactic to keep yourselves from directly attacking the subject put forth by the OP on the thread! 🙄🙄🙄

I have responded to him. I told him it is wrong to blame all white people for what the British or the French did with their colonial empires. I agreed with him. People are divided into ethnicities and nations and not into colors. I also said if he does not like the mega show of respect by the groom on wedding days during Yoruba weddings he should talk to his Yoruba fiancee if his fiancee is Yoruba. What more to add?. There is nothing harmful in Yoruba culture even if the respect is excessive. We can't change for him.

I also talked about how inter ethnic rivalry is a root cause of Nigeria's go slow