₦airaland Forum

Speeddial:
The American visa is ready and having a job that pay $400 monthly.

Take the American visa and travel to the US? Or stay in Nigeria and take 400k monthly permanent Job.

Which option is best?

400k convert it to dollars n sense will fall on you

ademidedavid:
My greetings nairalanders,
I am married for 10years now and blessed woth 3 wonderful kids but my woman is a bit difficult.

To cut the long story short, i went out with a colleague on friday and due to the fact that the kids are on holiday, i took my wife along because she was already raising the roof bout my outing ( NOTE: I have never ever gone out without my family to avoid wife's palava).

On getting there, she complained i was looking at some ladies lustfully which was not at all.......just trying to figure out some important things in my head. After which she complained that i was drunk.....lo and behold i wasnt because i dont take beer, i only take red wine, bullet and spinnorf......which i took a red wine and bullet before leaving the house and also took 3 bottles of spinnorff ( I was never drunk with all of those)

Fast forward to today, i am very open with my finances guess one of my mistakes.........she noticed that a thousand naira (#1000) was missing in my wallet and all means to explain to her proved abortive even though i give her money for things she love like body cream, cloths and others but after all nagging, i was vexed and went to the kids room which i politely asked her to let me be at the moment because i cant withstand her nagging over a thousand naira but she persisted and i have to shut the door against her but she opened it and told me she hates me and regret marrying me.....sounded like the rapture sound initially but later realised it actually came from my woman, my mother of my kids!!!!

i still cant place those words.....could it be out of anger or she actually mean the words for real?

Please help a heartbroken brother.

Tell her the same exact words n laugh it off. She is just being emotional. If this worries you then u have alot of growing up to do it's just nothing. But seriously I think she is still scared of losing you bc she loves you.

udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

Depends on the man's age, if he is 45 n above he should marry with the little he has

illicit:
Whoever foots the bills is the head

they said christian home not worldly home

Only real estate can beat inflation in Nigeria

Goodplace:
Please kindly advice on the topic.

yes when u are cursed n wants to be working for your landlord.

Ur rent should not exceed 120k

Pecoleee345:
Why does the society see men hitting women as bad thing but women cursing and abusive as normal.

A woman who curses and abuses you will still have the nerve to ask you for money.

Am not a perfect man..... I have my flaws but I am careful with words because I know what bad words can do to people.

Should a man be forced to stay with a woman who curses, abuses and threatens to get him arrested if he touch her despite you have never lay a finger on her in 3yrs of marriage.

People are telling me she is doing it due to anger that she doesn't mean it......am told to avoid making her angry and is that possible.
She gets me angry most times but I just leave the house and go cool off...
I have tried to teach her the act of keeping quiet in moment of anger but she never learns

She is permitted to rain curses and abuses on me because she is a woman and am expected not to react because that's how most women behave.

At this junction have made up my mind to divorce her.....I never wished for this but I can't take this ...... many people see this character of most women as normal (am told there power is in the mouth) but I can't.

Lastly men please avoid women raised by single mother they come with venom and naturally demage psychological...they will take revenge on you for their father's sins.

U have not seen anything yet

U will pay for all the things her mother suffered bc of her father.

A girl raised by a single mother is rarely a wife material.

Better do the needful now that u are still alive n healthy b4 u see the worst

Igbojihadist:
Good day nairalanders there is this very girl I love so much. I have expressed my feeling to her but she keeps telling me she is not ready yet. It has been four years now and am finding it difficult to move on or love any other girl.

Its ruining me as all i do each day is to think of her, atimes I might decide not to call her again within three days or what she would call me telling me is this the type of love I have for her. I am overwhelmed but she doesn't understand how i feel (please i need advice) plz anyone who would remind me of the present economy should stay off as ur problem is not mine.

Imagine this mumu

Go and make money n quit this nonsense

Ginaz:
There’s this neighbor of mine who gives her child viju milk to drink, note that the child isn’t up to 6months .

She said the child stops crying whenever the drink is placed on his mouth. But I warned her that the drink is too harsh to be given to a child not up to 1yrs, let alone to a child who hasn’t started sitting unaided.

The child just grew his first tooth 2 months ago, hasn’t started walking or standing on his own.

She went to buy the viju milk in large quantity recently and stored in her house for the child .

Would there be repercussions ? I saw the child’s poo and it was yellowed and slimy.

Lol � what about 1950 when they start giving them pounded yam after 3 months? Child that will survive will survive. It's not by ur power, it's God doing.

I once saw a heavily pregnant woman and the husband drinking beer in bar to the tune of 3 bottles each. E shock me as I thought she may have still birth.

Today I see her with the child bouncing n doing fine.

Kelvo145:
What are the criteria’s a young man of 28 years can meet before he can think of marriage

Have common sense

Have at least two regular sources of income

U can't eat ur cake n have it

Marriage is actually boring for an average man n responsibility won't let u have enough money to have fun.

If u now make mistake of marrying someone without common sense then u will kw no peace till u die.

More reason side chick association is booming, most times they are the only source of joy to the man.

mikaael:
My immediate boss recommended me tho we are 2 in the company vying for the position

okay

mikaael:
I work with a one of the major company in the paint sector...
I have been working there as a contract staff for 3 years but now i applied for a vacant post in the same company for a full staff role....

My question is will I be considered for a full staff role even with a 3rd class?

I have done written interview and i passed
I have done one on one interview too but I'm expecting the reply....
I'm only scared if my 3rd class certificate will be considered....
And also....I am almost through with my post graduate degree

Pls advice

were u interviewed alone as in no competitor?
Do U have anyone pushing ur case?

u be thief

give me 650k i will get u one neater with silver alloyed wheel

toks is 1.3m

U will buy car 1m use it for 5 years n come back to place it 1.1m calling exchange rate

What concerns Nigerian used car with exchange rate

call it what it is

she is dumb, not smart. low IQ. Its very easy to scam such ppl. There is little or nothing u can do, such ppl only learn from personal experience sadly.

Even when u are talking sense into her she will still argue n choose her path, low IQ

Nugesboi:
Dear Nlander,

I lost my job exactly 10months ago due to effect of Covid 19 pandemic. Before this incident, I was with this organization (Financial Institution) for over 8years. After three months of hustling in the city of Abuja, I got a letter of recommendation from a Federal House of representative member.
The recommendation letter was addressed to the CEO/MD, Bank of Industry, Abuja. I personally took the letter to their office in Abuja for delivery. I requested for the phone number of the person I submitted the letter to for follow up but he declined that he is not the one in charge.
My people, this is the fifth month and they are yet to get back to me. I am worried as I have responsibilities (wife, children and parents) to take care of and my small savings is gradually going down.

I tried surfing the internet if I could get a BOI senior officer email address so I can relate my case. Who knows help could come from there.

Any help or advice on how to go about this.

Best Regards,

The recommendation will work only if the house member will follow it up himself.

Better look for other ways to sustain your family (like driving taxi with your car) while the wait lasts.

Good morning

Easybela:
I have done that and everybody shouted at me for giving him milk so early

It's not just milk it's a baby formula. People around you are starck illiterates don't listen to them. Get information from Doctors or Nurses where u delivered ur baby to confirm this.

Concerning ur breast milk, have u tried palm wine works like magic

U may be owing but not 700k

With your default history u can't get such loans. Except u paid consistently for several years before the default started

quote author=Alawe post=102679154]Between someone "you don't love that much" but you're sure of her Character, that you will live well with her
And,
Someone you "love so much" but you aren't sure of her character if you can live well with here.

Which one can you get married to?[/quote]Love is not a feeling it's a choice so choose who to love.

Common sense
Character
Someone with source of income or at least hardworking

Very important in marriage stop chasing beauty (height, ass n boobs) n calling it love bc without common sense n character they will only give u high blood pressure.

Easybela:
Its almost 2weeks I put to bed,since then,I have taken and still taking whatever people recommended for my breast to produce much milk but yet,my breast is still not producing enough milk for my baby, I have to introduce water to support the breastfeeding because he cries so much whenever he sucks but not satisfied. Pls what's the implications of giving him watery papa at this stage? Or should I rather support the breastfeeding with milk?,pls,if you have gone through this,how did you cope?

Get Nan 1 n feed him for 3 months at least b4 pap

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

Food is very expensive now n u must take drastic measures to cut down their visits to the lowest.

This is what to do initially, stop buying food in bulk since it's wasted, make weekly budget for food n give your wife the money to manage, if she wastes it then don't give anything else till the coming week. She will get the message. Don't confront her ppl directly, it's her duty to do that. Also stop giving them welcoming look if they visit too often, give them cold/silent treatment. U can't be buying them soft drink and gisting with them n expect them to stop coming. Silence can do more than talking.

If u come to my house and I don't like u, u will leave in few minutes even if u are senseless just from my behavior alone without saying a word. I don't tolerate nonsense.

This should reduce their visits if not we move to next strategy

Promise kee him there, we have had enough failed promises already

Joysticks:
Can a Nigerian hard-worker get rich from a 9 to 5 monthly salary without involving in runs?
I don't mean politics where the politicians allawees are higher than their salary.
I mean genuine salary earners who don't engage in illegal activities to make extra income at their workplaces?

If the salary is above 10m per annum and it's invested wisely why not

Still available

author=Dozieson post=102439058]

Well said. But some parts are not readily available for camry 1999 if you are not in Lagos. I have searched for the AC control, airbag sensor and the air filter box in abuja to no avail.[/quote]If it's in Lagos at least it's available in Nigeria

legacystore:
Going going

Going

Dozieson:
I also advise to go for more recent cars because of the parts availability.

The parts of this ones are readily available. Go for more recent models bc of upgraded features.

2021 corolla will have improved features compared to 2020 but corolla na corolla in terms of general economy, reliability n ruggedness. Get the year u can afford the more recent the better. U can't go wrong with 2003 to 2008 model Corolla sha

ogawisdom:
450k

Won't fly for dt give me 550k

Chummynoni:
Drop yur contact chief. Lets deal

My contact is in my signature bro

Going going