₦airaland Forum

Do you know the meaning or marriage?
Why would you pay a woman’s bride price organize an expensive and memorable wedding and at the end of the day you run away with an ex-lover.
That’s stupidity of the highest class and such a person should be kept in a zoo co’s he or she isn’t fit to be call a human being.
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This is why you make sure the man and woman both spent on the wedding.So at least she too go feel the lose of money when the man kick am out of house.

This same topic again.
To me I will let her contact and talk with whoever but she does this at her own risk .
If there is any grounds for suspect ,she has no defence .
In all the girls i dated only one kept photos and phone numbers of Ex.This weirdly enough is the one i liked most but not for this habit.
I just tell her i have no trouble with this but its up to her as long as she knows that if i suspect i will just leave asap no looking back.

Never overbent on your principles ,otherwise you get taken for granted.

HR.hotness:
that is a ridiculous reason to call off a wedding, the guy obviously didn't trust her and d wedding probably wasnt meant to be. . . . . i say good riddance

Reception .The wedding already took place .It ended in family talk and the usual nigerian way to get sorted.

wedding budget can be from 100k to millions upon millions.
That is why it is always best the couple sit together and decide what is a feasible and reasonable amount to spent and then work on it.
Mistake is not deciding this and then 1 person goes overboard and is hit by disappointment.

something like ex lovers i would say yes if you are serious with this person .
Reason is you plan to make this guy or girl your final stop and its best to come clean to avoid any future mishaps.
Lets face it over the years you 2 will be partners there is a chance a jealous ex lover will try to cause trouble and if you came clean then it makes life much easier.
Here is an example that actually did happen .Day of some big wedding reception some drunk guy comes over to groom and starts saying how they dated so so years and what her best sex position was and what sounds she makes and when.And this was accurate ,so the groom went into a frenzy and a fight there.The wedding reception was halted as the groom's people were outraged .
Turned out she did indeed invite this guy and according to her ,the guy was her ex 4 years ago but has become a "friend" with her and actually advised her a lot.This part may also be very true .But because the groom never knew about the history and only knew him as a guy who occasionally phones her to chat,he was in serious doubt and it took ages to mend the problem.

Spending money is not a phobia.And has nothing to do with been stingy.Unless he takes it to extreme.Some people are just careful with money.If he brings food money and such how can he have a phobia.
As for wanting to stay in a small circle and not have 100000 people walking thru the door thats actually very common.Some people like a peaceful life.

Well let me start by saying traditionally there is only 1 wedding in Nigeria which of course is the traditional wedding .Until recent times this was the focus of celebration and till today the only recognized wedding by the elders.
We adopted religion and that for sure means you must marry in a church .
However,the focus still in terms of spending and celebration had until recently been the traditional wedding.The church itself has never asked for much in terms of show off or spending and only focus on the ritual itself.
The actual cost of spending on traditional wedding varies from tribe to tribe.
Then enters the so called white reception.A concept which is purely foriegn and has no traditonal value to Nigerians.
Yet within a space of not so many years some Nigerian women has "rewritten" the code unoffically to give it a new look.Omitting parts which does not favour them and then keeping those that do favour them.Their interpretion is largely based on what they want rather then what is.
Make no mistake there is nothing traditional about white reception and is totally adopted .
http://www.todays-weddings.com/articles/whopays.php is the way it is done normally.
BRIDE/BRIDE'S FAMILY:
- Any needed rental items
- Arrange for accommodations for out of town guests* (grooms family can also arrange this, depending on whose hometown the wedding is taking place at)
- Bridesmaids wedding gifts
- Ceremony Costs (Church fee, etc.)
- Ceremony Decorations
- Ceremony/Reception Flowers
- Entertainment (DJ, Band, Harp, etc.)
- Favors
- Flowers (bridesmaids bouquets, all corsages, ceremony)
- Gratuities/Tips for services
- Grooms wedding gift
- Grooms wedding ring
- Guest Book
- Her blood tests/medical checkup
- Invitations, thank you cards, announcements, mailing expenses, etc.
- Lingerie
- Photographer
- Printed items such as napkins, matchbooks, etc.
- Programs
- Reception costs (hall fee, etc.)
- Videographer
- Wedding Breakfast
- Wedding Consultant/Coordinator's Fee
- Wedding Dress, Veil and accessories


GROOM/GROOM'S FAMILY:
- Accessories for men in wedding party, such as socks, gloves, etc.
- Alcohol at the reception
- Arrange for accommodations for out of town guests* (brides family can also arrange this, depending on whose hometown the wedding is taking place at)
- Bride's wedding gift
- Bride's wedding rings
- Flowers (Brides bouquet, all boutonnieres)
- Groomsmens gifts
- His blood tests/medical checkup
- Honeymoon
- Limosine/Carriage costs
- Marriage License
- Officiant Fee
- Rehearsal Dinner expenses
- Wedding Attire


ATTENDANTS/USHERS:
- Any necessary travel expenses
- Shower gift
- Wedding attire and accessories
- Wedding gift for the newlyweds

Now if you look at this the majority of the cost falls on the bride's family with the groom getting away with most of it but the honeymoon.Note we have adopted the entire way of doing the reception but of course some has readopted the cost shelling the extremely expensive reception on the man and intrestingly enough keeping the honeymoon cost still on the man!
But the same people who gave us this  way of doing reception has learnt that in the modern society 50/50 is the only rational thing to do espically if its the woman(normally is) pushing for a large wedding .
So explain to me for those who seems to think the man carries the burden of the most expensive part of the wedding the reception and yet pays for the honeymoon.Where did this come from?
Surely those quoting this "new and improved" tradition they created are sending the wrong message to the man about how much they value his pocket or maybe even him.Women need to think properly about how they approach a foriegn concept and not change it as they desire.Even men who were willing to fill up the gaps in cost would now get apprehensive.
Its not a Nigerian tradtion  to start with.The white man who gave us the culture does not push the cost to the man but the woman but he too got reasonable and said split it between the 2 families.
So where does this idea come from?
I await the wraith of some women but i know on this forum they are many women who share the idea of partnership .

There are few good women in Nigeria who will be the first to say "waste 2m on wedding?make we go buy car" .Sadly this are few and honestly I think the majority of women insisting on big wedding are giving the man a wrong impression of their future together.
The once in a life time thing to be is rather a lame reason.How many times in your life will you have your first child?Should you bring CNN to your labour room because of that?
Think of the money you save and spent it wisely for the future.
Women need to grow up and accept reality .

I doubt women are more faithful then men.
But myth has it that they are ,so people rarely look at wives to cheat.

Thats Nigeria for you .
The "money is short oga" is very very typical in short of Nigeria.

money dey waste.Make they go buy car or make they go buy land or make they start making blocks.
This big wedding nah just to create job for people who no want do better thing .
To give money to wedding planner make e tell you which colour you go wear ,Nigerians fit.Give money to relatives make they buy medicine ,they no fit.
Nah wa for Nigerians.

Ok this is so common so many have their views.
Basically she is Catholic and he is Anglican .
She takes religion more seriously then him and has asked him to convert to do Catholic wedding but initally the idea was a mixed marriage.
He has agreed and has started going to mass and all that and is in process of converting.
But they agreed that after the wedding they go 2 weeks to Catholic then 2 weeks to Anglican .
Now she has of yet not stepped foot in an Anglican church but has read around it.
So here is the thing should he ask her to start converting (afterall she will spend as much time in an Anglican Church as a Catholic Church) or just come with him to the church without also converting.

Well if the hassle too much just convert.After wedding if you like go the church ,if not then nah she sow the seed .