₦airaland Forum

doublewisdom:
Hmmm, who's the omo baba Oloye?

uncle Saraki now why are u so dump like this now.

Julia went to school in the neighbouring village where she wasn't known well.
For three weeks, she came to school late and every time the teacher punished her.
On the fourth week, Julia didn't attend school at all and many thought she had GIVEN UP on school due to the everyday punishment.
However, Julia reported again on fifth week and this time she came earlier than everybody.
When the teacher came to class, Julia was punished for not attending school the previous week but the teacher was also kind enough to commend her for coming early that day, stating that the punishments had finally yielded some results.
Just then, Julia asked if she could say something and the teacher gave her permission.
She started:
*_''I've been raised up by a single mother without a brother or a sister. Five weeks ago, my mother got sick and was hospitalized. The three weeks I came late, I had to prepare something for her and pass by the hospital to deliver the same. Unfortunately, my mother passed away last week and that's the reason I didn't come to school. We buried her last Friday."_*
*_"Today I came early since I didn't have to prepare anything or even pass by the hospital. And now that she is gone, I will always be here early''_*
As she sat down, no one in the whole class was able to hold their tears, the teacher was not spared either.
*Lesson:*
How many times do we judge and punish others for some sorts of lateness?
- When will you get married
- When will you have kids?
- When will you find a job? Etc.
Do we attempt to understand their situations or we just judge from the 'best case scenarios' Some situations are not relative and what we think could be very far from the truth.
*Let us love one another as Jesus commanded, take time to find why your friend is not phoning, why they are not coming to church, why someone is missing in our midst as brethren, even why someone is always late* Shalom

WHAT DO WOMEN REALLY WANT FROM MEN?
This is a very interesting story and a lesson for men.
(To men) Please take time to ponder. �
(To women) Just enjoy the story. �
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question was:
*What do women really want?*
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend. Young Arthur was horrified.
She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden.
But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.
Arthur's question thus:
"What a woman really wants?"
She said, "A woman wants to be in charge of her own life."
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half.
"Which would you prefer?" She asked him. "BEAUTIFUL during the DAY... OR at NIGHT?"
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day, he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
OR,
would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?
(If you are a man reading this) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
And Lancelot's choice is given below...
BUT, please make YOUR choice first before you scroll down below!
OKAY?
Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now, what is the moral to this
The moral is...
1. There is a 'witch' in every woman, no matter how beautiful she is. It's how a man manages it
2. If you let a woman decide on her own she gives u d best. but if u force her with ur decisions she becomes a witch.
Hmmmm
What do you think ?
So, men, be careful how you treat a woman, you can still be her hero if you make amends where you need to. And to my Diamond, I say thank you for not allowing me to see the witch inside of you despite my short falls. I love you dear & always will until death do us part.

HELPING HANDS VS MMM
I keep hearing people saying Helping Hands is like MMM and I thought I could help in my own little way to clarify this misconception.
I must also admit that they are right to the extent that both Helping Hands and MMM use multilevel marketing (MLM) system in their recruitment drive though this system can be done without on MMM, in the event the member is not interested in recruiting new members.
I must also admit that I am/was not a member of MMM and hopefully may never be. My reasons are not relevant here, as such, my observation about MMM may not be absolutely correct. However, I have done an extensive research on both networks and believe I know a little about both that I can enumerate some of the differences especially the common differences between the two system.
The following are the few differences I have observed.
1. Helping Hands is a a charity organisation with a business and empowerment approach while MMM is an investment system with a little business approach.
2. Both organization can make you rich but MMM stands a better and faster chance in this regard but with accompanying higher risk.
3. With Helping Hands, your rewards are limitless. That means, after the initial work, you can keep reaping as long as the organization exists but with MMM, you can only reap as long as you keep reinvesting your money.
4. Whatever amount you put into Helping Hands is a donation which means it is nonrefundable but you expect to get any money you put into MMM and of course with huge interest.
5. With Helping Hands you are benefiting while at the same time contributing to the welfare of the less privileged but at MMM, you alone is benefiting – nothing is wrong with that.
6. Helping Hands teaches you how to work for money while as well as empower you with a skill that you can fall back on but MMM teaches you how money can work for you.
7. The chance of losing your money with Helping Hands is zero if you did not invest in the promotion of the NGO. This is because the amount you paid to join is actually a donation. So even if you do not get anything back, your conscience will not border knowing that you have done your part by giving to the less privileged. With MMM, the chance of losing your money is relatively high. This is because, the system is not sustainable on the long run and there is an obvious sign of insincerity in it. (My observation).
8. Finally, MMM being a ponzi scheme has been declared a wonder bank and as such a scam by CBN and of course had been banned in its originating country (Russia), South Africa their next point of call and lately Zimbabwe (Google can help you with these). None of this news or rumours as some would want us believed had been made about Helping Hands International
Hopefully, this has cleared some confusion and doubt about the two system.

A friend of mine asked me if I'm willing to go to
London... See question!!
who wants to stay in this Nigeria where
1. Fowls rape themselves
2. Exam questions come out before the proposed
examination date
3. Bigger Banana are cheaper while smaller ones
are expensive
4. You buy Suya 100 Naira and when you get
home,you realise the Aboki sold Onions 70 Naira
and meat 30 Naira
5. Garri is more expensive than Noodles.. Try
drinking the Garri for 20 Days straight,Falz
Glasses will be small size compared to your own
6. You get Pirated Yoruba movie and you get
home to see Bruce Lee(Enter the Dragon Part 1)
7. Ghosts in nollywood fear cars when crossing
the Road because They don't want to die again
If you advice me to stay in Nigeria ehn!
Hmmmmmmmn just dnt let me talk!!!!.
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Add yours pals

Na u sabi oh

Out of ten u mentioned six and u thing u are doing me. You know the devil is masturbating with your relationship when your boyfriend can party the whole night and lasts less than 10 minutes in bed.

A baby mama is a woman who is bearing children for a man who has not paid her pride prize. Meanwhile, she may be living or not living with the man. A baby mama has no right in the house of the man and the man has no power over her.
Therefore, make sure that the man you're calling your husband has paid your bride prize before you will abuse any baby mama.

But they are using our money to deceive people like , so that u can believe them.

akpamuomenka:
How many people will believe in God if all his men are poor?.

That means we all know the truth and we are pretending.

Hmm Just Thinking Ni O! Will our men of God take holy communion nd bread in place of d money been paid.
How many men of God will remain, or if we re suppose not to give any offering in d church how many men of God will stay hmm!
Let ponder on this~ How many pple will become men of God if money is not involve.
Now, going church is same as office work
now, u re been looked upon as a sinner if u re not involve in church activities
Jesus as been studied in the Bible never built a church, is church is HIM, HE moves from one place to another, from field to field, house to house preaching d kingdom of heaven nd not preaching instigating words, Jesus preach d beauty of heaven, He preaches the Heavenly Father, HE preaches Love, He preaces endurance, all that Jesus preach as studies shows HE did not focus on self. What we see or do now is brainwashing nd money. Bible says by their fruit we shall know them.
Hmm! Like in my church, d present priest will say, o fe ni igbala sugbon owo ni maintenace.
All about Money.........Man made money nd money mad man mad.
The kingdom of Heaven suffereth violent nd violent pple taketh it by Force

That Awkward Moment when Abraham and Isaac were walking back home after he had tried to sacrifice him...
"Abraham: I love u son.......
"Isaac: abeg abeg!make i hear word, "juju man.".. your plan don fail na... abi u think say my God no dey see?

if u ate these biscuit and u never marry just know that witch is hunting u

C yanmuyanmu, c gogogogo, c surutu, c wahala, c back to back, cr7. C gbogbo won, c them

Sebastine1994:
What I find amusing is the mega filling station. This guy must be making serious money. Where does he get his fuel if filling stations are on strike?

from Akure

Playing through the pain barrier at Chelsea was not a problem for the outgoing captain, who opened up on his sacrifices
John Terry has revealed he had daily injections for a whole year after Jose Mourinho asked him to play for Chelsea with a broken foot and toe.
The 36-year-old is nearing the end of his time at Stamford Bridge, with Terry formally leaving the club at the end of his contract on June 30.
The experienced defender has already played his last game for Chelsea and opened up about the sacrifices he made during his career with the Premier League champions.
"I remember in Jose Mourinho's years he was desperate for me to play or train when I had a broken toe and a broken bone in my foot," Terry told the club's official website.
"I had to have two injections in my toe every day for a whole year, one before training and sometimes the doctor would have to come out and re-inject me because it wore off in training if it was a longer session than an hour.
"It was just a given for me. I played through the pain barrier numerous times. In the 2015 Premier League-winning season when I played every minute of every game, you just find a way.
"I would do it again tomorrow because it sounds crazy but you would give your life for the football club when they have given you so much over the years."

The hardest things in life is to be Arsenal fans right now, they don't know whether to be happy bcose FA cup trophy they have just won or upset because Arsene Wenger is going to sign a new 5 years contract tomorrow morning.

HOW TO HANDLE A TYRE BURST
There isn’t a doubt that a tyre blowout ranks the highest on any highway driver’s list of fears. With good reason too, as a tyre burst could lead to a complete loss of car control. With SUVs & MUVs, there is the possibility of a flip-over too. A blowout is dangerous no matter how good a driver you are or how safe your car is.
The good news is, with tyre technology continually improving, blowouts are becoming an infrequent occurrence. Still, they do happen and it's best that you know what to do if you suffer one.
HOW TO HANDLE A TYRE BURST:
1. Start with maintaining a safe driving speed; there are just no two sides to this. The lower your speed, the higher your chance of survival. A blowout at 80 - 90 kph will be far less dramatic than one at 140 - 150 kph. Indeed, if you survive a tyre burst at 150 kph, consider it a gift of God.
2. Do NOT slam on the brake pedal. Of course, this is easier said than done, as our brains are hardwired to instinctively jam the brake pedal in an emergency. Hard braking is actually the worst thing you can do as it will further imbalance the vehicle and throw it out of control.
3. Don’t abruptly take your foot off the accelerator. Do it slowly & gradually. In fact, Michelin recommends that you maintain accelerator input momentarily, before releasing it slowly. The deceleration force from a blown tyre is so strong that your car will anyway slow down rapidly. If you have engaged cruise control, be sure to disengage it immediately.
4. Try your best to keep the vehicle pointed straight. Cornering or turning with a blown tyre will greatly upset the car’s composure. If your car is pulling to one side, you might need to pull the steering in the opposite direction to keep it going straight. This is critical, else you risk drifting into the road divider or worse still, the opposite lane.
5. Do NOT attempt to over-correct. The key is to maintain the vehicle’s stability. A sharp yank of the steering wheel can result in a rollover. Even when you have gained control and are slowly moving to a safe parking spot, do so with the mildest steering inputs possible.
6. Allow the vehicle to gradually coast to a stop. Use engine braking if necessary. Lightly engage the brakes only when your car has decelerated to a slow speed. Use the turn indicators and pull over safely off the road. Drive on the bare metal wheel if you have to, but do NOT stop in the middle of the road as you run the risk of getting rear-ended by a speeding car. Remember to activate your hazard lights when stopped.

BlueLORD:
bullsh*t....i expected to see something real

like what?

abitex577:
If God wanted a man with two or more women, obviously, when he made Eve, he could have added Evelyn. Genesis 2:21-25. Abraham who is the father many Nations and a friend of God had only one wife, even though due to his wife's barrenness an error was committed by him having a child with Hagar and she was later sent away. Isaac had only Rebecca while Jacob was deceived to having two wives.

Do u know that Abraham married to another women after d death of Sarah?

Franzinni:
Nack anybody God will still bless you... See the story of jacob....

Fire two sisters till they begin do competition...

He still fire the two of them house girl join.... In competition too.


God still blessed him after that...

thank you

RECOMMENDED WAYS TO BEAT YOUR WIFE

'Sir, I won't lie to you. At times, I feel I should beat my wife. She does some annoying things & I just feel like beating her...' That was what Mr. Friday ( not a real name) told me as he came to complain about his wife to me in my house. I told him, I also beat my wife Adeyinka , in fact I beat her daily. The only different is how we beat our wives. I don't use belt, I don't use abusive words, I don't use sex starvation to beat her, I don't use blow, I don't use kick.

I am a king & married to a queen. Such don't happen in a palace like ours. This is the way I "BEAT" my wife and I recommended it for Mr. Friday & I am recommending it for all men. The reason why my Queen can't leave me is because she is enjoying the beating.

This is the way I beat her. I beat her by:
B- BEAUTIFYING HER.
E- ENCOURAGING HER.
A- ASSISTING HER
T- TREATING HER AS THE QUEEN SHE IS.

No woman can die in your hands no matter how many times you beat her in a day as long as you do it the way I do it to my Queen. I know this is the way women will love their husbands to beat them. There can't be divorce or separation if we 'beat' our wives like this.

When you use belt, wire, blow, knife, slap or any domestic violence means on your wife, you are worthy to be awarded a duplex at Neuro Psychiatric Hospital or you can go there yourself and tell them to detain you there until you are okay. For all excellent husbands, follow that syllabus I gave you on how I beat my own Queen daily & go and do likewise. The joy of your family is my priority.

Also remember to sign up a helping hands account for her with just #6,600 only and support her in growing that account. You will see how she shower you with love.

In the Bible women who were married to one man were all referred to as wives and they were recognized by God, polygamy was not mentioned anywhere as a sin, the Bible says God hates divorce, it doesn't say God hates polygamy. For Paul to say that a Bishop should be husband of one wife means that there were people in the church who were husbands of more than one wife, he just wanted them to appoint people who would have enough time to do Gods work because a larger family will take a. lot of ones time, he even went ahead to tell them to try and be celibate like him just so they could have time to spread the gospel which was the most important thing to him. Neither celibacy nor monogamy nor polygamy is rejected by God. Marriage is a cultural thing, fornication and adultery are major sins, instead of committing sin, marry and do not "look at" or take another mans wife. Times have changed though, women ain't that submissive anymore so one woman is a lot of trouble, two will be more than double trouble. I doubt that polygamy can work well for anyone in this day and time

"..Those that are accusing me of inflating contracts are not fair to me. As a governor of this state in the last six years, I don’t have a house in my hometown and I don’t spend money on women and other frivolities .

"I don’t eat too much and that is why I’m lean. As you can see, I’m not sick and yet I’m very lean. How many governors are lean like me. That tells you that I’m not stealing money..”

-Ogbeni Rauf Aregbesola, Governor, State of Osun

When MR Lai Mohammed said Senegal has best Jollof Rice, Nigerians dey vex, can u see the example of Nigeria Jollof Rice now?

Ladies Are Becoming More Dangerous Than Terrorists. Make Up Should Be Illegal.
The Way Some Ladies Are Covering Their Ugliness In Make Up, Don't Be Surprised If You Marry A MAN.

The guy that sang " koni dafun oyinbo to'se koste" , who know his house or phone numbers?
i need it cos another track is about to be release on this issue of "Retrica" and "Camera360" which our girls are now using this days..
A lady i knew on the street posted a picture on facebook today and i was so amazed this girl doesnt have craw craw on her face again..maka why??..
it Amazing, Oyinbo is great. they are the second God..
ah Aiye ti baje ju!

Mansions:
I don't support your number 9 at all because when a woman is on social media , her possibility of cheating on her husband is 100% . Don't be deceived to allow your woman to be on social media . As long u as a woman is on social media I already see you as a cheater. Your relationship dey for Facebook you better stop dat if I hear, if i hear say u dey cry for hear. Listen to becca ft patranking ( wash. )

ok, what are u doing too on social media if not cheating?

C Yanmuyanmu, C Gobe, C gogongongo C Wahala, C gbogbo Won, C Surutu, C werepe

STUPID THINGS A WIFE CAN DO TO MESS UP HER
MARRIAGE

There are fifteen stupid things a Wife can do to
mess up her marriage, I want you to check them
carefully and avoid them.

1) DARING HER HUSBAND TO BEAT HER: You
block the door way, and then dare him to beat you
and see what will happen. Lots of women have
done this in the past and they end up regretting it.
It is unwise to do this.

2) DARING HER HUSBAND TO SLEEP WITH
ANOTHER WOMAN: You will be making a major
mistake if you dare your husband to sleep with
another woman. You may live to regret it

3) NEGLECTING TO DRESS RIGHTLY BECAUSE SHE
IS MARRIED: “I am married, who is looking at me”
That was the defense of Mrs Layi when she was
confronted for the reason why she dressed so
shabbily. It is the mistake of most careless married
women and it’s a major mistake you can make

4) DENYING HER HUSBAND SEX REGULARLY: You
are a career woman; you feel sex in marriage is
secondary, you deny your husband your body
regularly, so he is sexually starved and intimacy
famished. His secretary, colleagues, and girls in
church are begging him to come but you padlock
your skirt. I can see danger signal.

5) LEAVING HER HUSBAND FOR HER FRIEND TO
CATER FOR: “My friend please be my eye as I
travelled for this one week, help cater for my
husband and my little kids” That was Mrs Rosa
when she made the journey she will later regret all
her life. By the time she came back her friend had
really helped her by sleeping with her husband. She
later eloped with the man, leaving her own husband
and two children.
It is very stupid to commit your husband into the
hands of your beautiful and very active but Godless
friend.

6) LEAVING HER HUSBAND IN THE HAND OF HER
HOUSE MAID: Your maid is the one that cooks,
cleans the house, and cares for the children and
your husband. You suddenly become a lazy bone
since the arrival of the maid, all you do is to shout
and back orders, nobody will snatch your husband
you are the one graciously giving him to those that
need him.

7) EMPLOYING FULLY GROWN, RED BLOODED
LADY AS A MAID: She is fully grown, well-endowed
in the back and very tantalizing in the front, dresses
like an actress, cat walks like a model and that is
your own house maid? What a mistake!

EMPLOYING HOUSE GIRL THAT IS MORE
BEAUTIFUL THAN HER: Employing a house girl
more beautiful than them is a major technical
mistake most women make. In the process many
of them used their money to employ a rival for
themselves. Don’t be foolish when getting a maid.

9) USING ANALOG BRAIN TO LIVE WITH A DIGITAL
HUSBAND: Your husband is growing; you are sitting
down at home eating. He is dressing like a guy with
jeans and face cap; you are celebrating the fact that
you are a married woman. Your husband is on
twitter, facebook, whatshap, skype etc; the only
thing you know about phone is to receive and make
call. Your husband is talking about stock market;
you only talk about tomato market. He is talking
about Forex; you are talking about fruit and
vegetables.

10) FAILING TO COMMIT HER FAMILY INTO THE
HANDS OF GOD: A wife won’t do well if she fails to
commit her family into the hands of God regularly.
Don’t make this mistake, be prayerful, hand over
your family to God. May you never labor in vain!

11) FIGHING HER MOTHER-IN-LAW: You may fight
your Mother-in-law dirty and think you can win, you
will end up losing. Her son and herself have been
friends and lovers for years; may be before you
were born. She was the first ‘wife’ of your husband
and also the first ‘girlfriend’. Her son cannot divorce
her and she is more experienced than you in
matrimonial battles, in fact she is a veteran of many
conflicts.

12) TELLING HER FRIENDS ABOUT HER SEX LIFE:
when you tell your friend about your sex life she can
size you up and know whether your husband is hot
or not, whether he is sexually fulfilled or not. She
can even know your husband “turn on” and use it
against him and grab your husband. Most women
have carelessly lost their husband as they complain
to their friends “my husband is too demanding, he
does not know anything but sex, I’m not a horse, I
can’t kill myself” A friend will pick information like
this and cover things up where you’ve been failing.

13) REPORTING HER HUSBAND TO HIS MUM: It
looks beautiful to report your husband to his Mum,
but the end result will end up hurting you.
Most mothers will support their sons any day;
children are always right before their Mothers. Seek
counsel in the right quarters, never report your
husband to his Mum.

14) LETTING CHILDREN TAKE THE PLACE OF
THEIR HUSBANDS: Many wives do abandon their
husbands, denying them of love, care and attention
as soon as babies begin to arrive. To sleep in bed,
they put the Baby between themselves and their
husband, making the man to feel lost in his own
house.

15) USING SEX WRONGLY: sex is supposed to
bind you together, it supposed to create intimacy
and love but in many homes it is the bone of
contention.
Some women do turn sex to a tool of manipulation;
some use it for trade by barter. Some wives will
suddenly become commanders at home when their
husbands touch them for sex, ordering the man
around, “go and off the Fan” “go and lock the gate”
“go and check whether our children are sleeping”
this is very bad.
Some wives sleep like log of wood in bed while
some even wear jean knickers to bed.

If you continue like this you will hurt your marriage deeply and you may destroy your future also.May God not let us use our hand to destroy our own marriage..