₦airaland Forum

We4all:
Madam, next time, tell that to your husband and not to the world. By the way, so E money married a slay queen.

Once a spouse comes on SM to shower encomiums on his/her better half, just know that trouble is looming in paradise and divorce is loading.....quote me when it becomes a reality.

Anambra couples hardly divorce.

CHoccolaTE:
When they get married their eyes go clear.
Is it not Nigerian men?
The men will still expect them to continue being independent in marriage.
They will remind you that you were taking care of yourself before marriage so why are you now turning into someone else?

Miss independent, miss independent, that's how they will marry a stingy man that has no interest in providing for them or a man that expects his wife to be obedient submissive slave and co-provider.

Look at the lamentations of these two women that were doing miss independence before marriage


https://www.nairaland.com/6173928/life-story#94833128


https://www.nairaland.com/6173928/life-story/1#95793133

Sis, leave them. Dem go soon hear word.

Palema007:
Madam calm down! If you have too many chores to do, get a maid! You see that's what we are talking about, make your money so you can make life easier for yourself. No one is undermining women's role in the family.

We are talking about relationship,the first stage before getting married.A lady who can't pay her own bills shouldn't be thinking of getting into a relationship but getting a job. its very simple.

Ok ooo. That is for you then and all the other independent women out there.

Palema007:
One of the many reasons i laugh Nigerian feminists. They clamour for equal treatment but reject equal responsibilities, they want the gain but not the work.
It baffles me how you will want a "burden" off your neck but still want to be fed for a cause you reject. How do you expect a Man to treat you differently when you still beg for crumbs? Do they know what gender equality mean to a typical Nigerian man?

Honestly my heart breaks when i see women remain in toxic relationships all because the Man foot the bills. I hate it when Guys talk low of Women, or ask women what they offer aside sex. Women need to wake up!

So u mean to say that a woman really has no value except when she pays bills. Gosh.... I'm so pissed. So all those invaluable things such as cooking, cleaning, birthing children and even taking care of them is really nothing till i split bills. Who brainwashed we women like this? . The reality of today's world especially in Nigeria is that a woman has to set a home running at a fast pace of 80% while a man can chip in a miserly 20%. I keep going on the internet to see different miserable standards set by men and women holding on to the standards to show how independent they really are. I pity for u lots. Let men keep shifting the only responsibility they have been accorded to you, u hear? Keep proving how much of a robot u are. The funny thing is that in all this clamour for financial equality on both parties, i have never seen where men are asked to be actively involved in chores. So as a woman, u are expected to change ur surname, cook, clean, birth children, take care of them and still split bills. Wow. Weldone to all the super women out there. Y'all rewards are in heaven #notformethough.

Palema007:
My thought exactly!

A financially independent woman has lot of choices and is more valuable than a dependent one.

Incorrect! A financial independent woman in the Nigerian society very limited options. No need to argue with me just check the female entertainment industry and see how far. One would think that the more money they make the more chances at true love they get but the reality is the opposite. It's either they meet leeches especially if they are not so confident or desperate or they become a babymama for a wealthy man.

Zzor:
now I believe he's truly a dirty boy.Erica shame on you

Shame on her for what

duduade:
What happened to you been a supportive woman

No woman is ready to build with any man again


Good for you.. All of you that love to fake it till you make it

So without a woman u can't build anything significant with your life. Na wa ooo and am very sure u re one of those that say that women offer nothing but sex in a relationship. Wahala for man wey dey find woman builder.

Tobiloba2407:
Say no to your brokenness, and save your pussy, from high mileage.

Since any man with little change can have you

Cho cho cho can change my choice and broke shaming won't change that either. #stillmychoice

AlphaMajestic:
maybe ur right abt d guy being stingy..i know some of my guys dat wont even give a girl T-fare after she visits them..its bad o

but if the guy no get and u demand everything knowing that he doesn't have then ur the problem

The guy was stingy. Very stingy. Tufiakwa

Tobiloba2407:
You that can't take care if yourself, won't you say no to you.....bloodsucker, without man, you can't survive in this life?

Odiegwu. I say no to a stingy man #mychoice.

YESpParticipant:
In other words, wahala for boyfriend wey no fit sort his girlfriend for he shall be tagged a stingy/5s man. Oshay!

Yes, he was stingy very stingy and to be honest, very horrible in bed. I am making this up to spite him.

ume1000:
so Says a lability

Eziokwu. #mychoice

Ginaz:
Lol sis.

Am not joking ooo. Nonsense stingy guy

YESpParticipant:
So you suddenly discovered the poor dude was a 5 seconds man after he turned down your requests abi?... Babe fear God!
Anyway, go get a legit job and stop been a liability and an entitled girlfriend. #Peace!

Toor. I say no to stingy and 5s men. #mychoice

He was too stingy. I asked for something the third time, he refused and the manner with which he refuses my request was appalling. Meanwhile, i met a new guy that was giving me things and doing what my bf refused to do. I broke up with him and honestly, he was not expecting it. I was so pained that i wanted to tell him that his sex game is wack but my friend told me not to. 5 seconds man. No jokes.

Stallion93:
If no b American, Uk, Australian, Canadian, German or Switzerland Citizen...,I no marry abeg

As in eh, me too

CHoccolaTE:
Smart comment, many men in Nigeria are depending 100percent on their wives but women don't announce it because of shame, if a man is the one supporting his wife 100percent, he go insult her tire.
Men are naturally selfish and self centered creatures

That's why they keep demanding heaven and earth from women but don't want to give anything back.

True. Men have so much audacity to demand for they want and women on the other hand, keep on adjusting to meet the standard men and society have placed for them. To be honest, men are naturally selfish and audacious.

IntersexSherry:
Young guys are the worst. They will just use you to make it . Those are struggling guys

True sha.

Tadeknkeepcalm:
But in a way every one must provide something in other to be loved. I feel you're limiting provision to just money.
For example, if you someone loves you for your emotional support and then you suddenly become distant. You don't provide that support and friendship, then of course it's a valid reason for things to go south.
If in the case a woman is solely loved for her beauty then the said beauty vanishes or fades, she would also be abandoned.
There's always a reason why you have a relationship with someone.
I have a particular friend whose friendship is cherished because of our intellectual discourse. It's what sustains our relationship.
I really don't understand the meaning of "for who you are".
Do you mean being loved just because you exisT?

No truer words have been said. No one loves anyone for just existing. YOU MUST HAVE VALUE THAT CAN BENEFIT ANYONE ATTACHED YOU WITHOUT THAT, U ARE A NOBODY. THIS IS WHY I KEEP SAYING THAT THERE IS NOTHING LIKE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE ONLY GOD CAN LOVE U LIKE THAT. IN TODAY'S WORLD, A WOMAN VALUE IS MAINLY BEAUTY THEN OTHERS FOLLOW WHILE A MAN'S IS MONEY. IF U HAVE NEITHER OF THIS THINGS U HAVE TO LOOK FOR OTHER VALUES TO SUPPLEMENT IT. FACT.

ahnie:
I met one some days ago... she's a mother of two from two different dicks.
She's currently co-habiting with her new catch who's a single father from two women.

She's even planning to birth another kid for her new catch who recently lost his job.
She isn't even up to 20 yrs yet.

It's a funny world.

She is most definitely from the west. I don tire for my sisters

OfficialAPCNig:
Don't deceive him.

Yoruba ladies love jumping from one husband to another. You will see a. young girl giving birth for more than one man.

Again, most of them give birth at home and hide it. The most annoying is that many of them will not even agree to leave SW to live in your village.

But many of them are hardworking more than their men. I think Yorubas have more of the most hand working female group in the country.

Everything u typed is true. Both yoruba men and women are very promiscuous. The women are very hard working while the men are lazy. Yoruba women are the most hard working females in Nigeria. Yoruba people in general have no good marriage structure. They don't respect that institution at all. At times, i liken them to black americans cos they have almost the same behavioural pattern regarding family especially. Black Americans men are lazy, the women are hardworking. The men and women birth babies indiscriminately under no marital obligation. Where i leave in the west, females as young as 15, 16 and so on give birth and sometimes, they go on to have as many as possible with different partners.

Pussywar:
Reasons;


1. Nigerian men love a patriachial society that recognises them as leaders aka 'head of the house', a social system that demands that they be 'providers'....they know this, yet expect women to split bills with them, to prove to them that we're independent while expecting you to provide unpaid domestic labour like cooking and cleaning which according to them is the 'duty of a woman'�...as patriachy demands. Basically, the woman is expecting to be 'twice as tall' to be worthy. So when they say "a woman that has something to offer", they are looking for a wealthy slave.




2. Very entitled beings. Why would you expect someone to have something to offer to you? Do women owe you that? No, we don't. And this entitlement is why a lot of them are rapists. A lot. And they pretend to not know what rape is. Who are you as a wife to 'refuse' your husband your body? It belongs to them. So when you say no, it's taken by force because they "paid for it"�
Let's not for get the self acclaimed "nice guys". They go "I respect girls but they prefer bad boys". Who told you women owe you shit for the bare minimum??.??


3. They are slutshamers. Holding women to such high moral standards but wanting to live their lives as free as possible. And "ashewo" deserves no respect, but a man that bleeps women for money na boss. Do you have a different opinion? Olosho! Are you wearing shorts? Ashewo! Did you do a nude photoshoot? Hoe!





4. They loooooove to blame women for evurrrrrrythang. It can never be them! They're perfect. Did your husband beat you? Why did you marry him? Your boyfriend raped you? why did you choose him? A bunch of men harrased you?why did you dress like that? And instead of ever taking correction, they try to pretend they are different! "not all men!" "men that rape are not real men, they are animals!" "good men like us exist!". who caressssss?





5. Low IQ. Lol do I need to elaborate?





6. They will do anything to force women into submission just so they can keep being mediocre and not be questioned. They will use religion, use nature, use biology....not that any of it is logical or sensible.






7. In Beyonce's voice "such a huge egooooooo"
Take for example, a man sees you, likes you and wants to talk to you. Then they start "ssssss" "fine girl" "come I want to tell you something". Is it you that wants to talk to me or it's me that wants to talk to you I should walk to YOU? You are what



8. They don't care about systemic oppression unless they are the victims. See how they expect the police to respect how they dress and not harass them because of it, but expect women to protect themselves by dressing decently �. Tell them to respect women, they expect you to give them a reason why, because respecting women is so foreign, right? Talk to them about privilege and they laugh and with all the stupidity in the world they reply "but it's women who are privileged. You enters clubs for free and men dash you money". Did mention low IQ already?





9. Toxic masculinity that leads to homophobia. A girl that dresses like a boy is just a tomboy. They hang out with her and all. But a boy who wants to be himself and be feminine is 'not normal'. I mean, who wants to be like women, the lower inferior gender? I said before, they don't care about systemic oppression unless they are the victims. And so they will stone gay people to death if they could.




10. Misogyny. Refer to 1-9




Men are the cause of most of Nigeria's problem. Look and yourself and your friends and do better instead of pretending you're not what you actually are. Thank you.

Points 1, 3,4 6,8. U hit the nail on the head. 'wealthy slave' u couldn't have described it better to be honest.

To be honest babes, u actually have really nice points especially POINT 1. That one irks me for real. Nigerian women dey try. To find better men na by God's grace.

Cantonese:
Thank you my English teacher.

"Chatting shit" depicts improper mannerism in a public forum as this.

I perceive Nanka people to be very brutal as I had a bitter first hand experience with the a Nanka lady in such a matter 10 years ago, with the loss of a young man very close to me.

I've not looked at the matter from with a bias, if you look at my comments carefully. You agreed with the lady's story, hook, line and sinker without taking your time to think about the extremes in such issues. I looked at the extremes on the basis of experience. Women give wrong information in such matters to make their husband's families look like the devil.

We can proceed decently and objectively, if you want, without recourse to rudeness and insults.

Akuko

Midas01:
That's disgusting...women who drink it are just stupid. Gosh !!!!

They don't drink water anymore but they still shave their heads.

thorpido:
Read well.It is nowhere stated in the story that she abandoned him when he was sick.He may have developed the crisis after she was away.

True... Dont mind these bias illiterates.

Cantonese:
Your judgement is completely one sided.

You did not hear from the man's family. You did not hear from her how she related with her inlaws. You did not hear from her if she encouraged the man to cut off his family? You do not even know whether she charmed the man into marriage with her. Don't forget that some women get juju to make men marry them?

The woman said in her statement that she travelled to be with her mum when her husband was in crisis. That's very sad to hear. Who did she abandon the man for? The siblings obviously covered up for her when she travelled as her children were too young to play the role. I take it that there was no good relationship between her and her inlaws for 13 years and they cut her off in their pain.

The woman then turned sentimental and has tried to blackmail the Igbos. If she married a fellow Yoruba would that not have happened to her? The Yorubas are known to battle it to the last over properties of their deceased sons.

It is very important for women to have good relationships with their inlaws. Do not wish your husband's mother to die. Do not wish to marry a man without a mother. Do not stop a man from relating with his family, especially if the man comes from a united and peaceful home. Do not carry the war in your own father's house to your husband's home. Try to make good friendships with two or more of your husband's people. In the sad case of a loss or battle for properties, your friend's within your husband's siblings will fight for you.

Yorubas prefer to marry Igbo men because they feel better taken care of. You may verify that. Please erase your sentiments and let's all live in peace.

It's clear that you don't understand English. She said that she was pregnant then travelled to stay with her mom in Ondo state. The husband then had a crisis because of his ulcer and family came to take him away to an unknown location. If u read without being bias, u will understand that she is what she said. Before you quote me chatting shit know that I am from Orumba North local Govt, Agbiligba Nanka, Nanka in Anambra state.

Ennyhorlar:
This wasn’t trended on any social media, this was posted on Facebook.

And only few people take Facebook posts serious

God bless you. I never saw this news and am very active on Instagram and twitter. Even the corper guy, i never saw that post on Twitter.

nwaezeemmanuel:
Exactly! I thank God i have seen things for myself to call out the lies!

I like u a lot. Do u have a girlfriend?